All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.

Mortal Kombat 11 Story review

Introduction

Mortal Kombat 11 Story review? I know what you’re thinking. Not gameplay? Well, (a) you should know to expect the unexpected from us, (2) there are plenty of gameplay articles and videos out there, and (Ω) let me respond further with a story. Hey, this is what you get from a frustrated writer forced to stay home for two weeks. You get stories. So, snuggle up and listen.

I have played Mortal Kombat since the beginning. That’s not an exaggeration. My friends and I traveled to the arcade (see, the beginning) weekly to feed quarters into the machine. Those of you (us, yes I do it, too) who complain about the price of games never spent hundreds of dollars in quarters at the arcade.

OK, Boomer

So, where is this story going? Relax, we’re getting there. One of those friends bought me Mortal Kombat 11 for Christmas or my birthday. As I tend to do, I ignored it for a few months. Enter coronavirus. Suddenly, many of us had more free time to catch up on video games, for instance. I chose Mortal Kombat 11.

I also inadvertently recommended the game to Chris. Wait, what does that mean? It simply means that I kept talking about the game and how much I liked it. Chris bought it as a result of me talking about it so much. He texted me when he first played it something along the lines of, “The game play is typical of Mortal Kombat. You weren’t kidding about the Krypt.” More on the Krypt later in the week. For now, there is my last reason why I’m not discussing the gameplay.

And, to make a long story short…

The Great

Johnny Cage – It was tough picking which would come first because I always like to end these sections with my strongest pick. Both of the characters here have been my favorites since the first game. Both have endured their share of trials and tribulations. Unfortunately for Cage, his were all self-inflicted. Nevertheless, his “redemption” story is wonderful and I can safely call him a favorite again.

Fire God Liu Kang! – This one is a spoiler alert for anyone still playing the story. Mainly, the warning is for Chris because he’s still the only one that regularly reads this right now. I will go on record that killing Liu Kang is probably the most unforgivable thing that they’ve done in this game series. I understand trying to reboot a tired franchise, but killing Liu Kang is a travesty. It is doubly so to have him double crossed by Raiden of all people. Thankfully, this game reversed all of that. I won’t give it all away except to repeat Fire God Liu Kang!

Yeah, I’d say that’s one hell of a redemption.

The Good

Fighting – Look, I understand that this is a fighting game. However, I would be lying if I didn’t say that the constant pauses in the story so that I could noob it up while trying to pull off the combos that I was barely able to finish in the tutorial weren’t annoying me. I very much enjoyed the story and kind of wished that they would just let the thing play through without the fighting interludes.

The Story – On that note, I’m not lying when I say that I would rather watch this story than any of the movies currently available. Maybe I should include the caveat that I meant the live action movies. I haven’t seen any of the animated films and the advertisement that I saw for the Scorpion animated film actually looks pretty good. Sure, the story has the usual clichés and some parts are just ridiculous. With all of that being said, it is well worth it to play through the story mode.

Kenshi is also dead (spoiler alert) but nobody cares about him enough to include that in the story mode

The Decent

Final Fight – Look, I get that it’s supposed to be a boss fight and that boss fights are notoriously unfair in Mortal Kombat games. And, yes, it technically only took me 3 fights to finish the boss. Nevertheless, during those 3 fights, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with how poorly my strategies were working. Then again, it might have just been because I was stonewalled by the boss in my Johnny Cage tower, too, and needed the AI to bail me out.

Tease – I kept texting my friend during the story saying, “x (where x = some character not in the game) is already rendered. Why are they not in the game?” He always replied, “Well, there’s always Kombat Pack 2. So, yeah, I’m also grumpy that some of the best characters are in the game but not in the game, yet. Cyrax, Sektor, and Sheeva, I’m looking at you.

Yep, that was my face, too, Sheeva, when I realized that I’m going to have to pay good money for what’s already in the game.

The Forgettable

Fallen Hero Syndrome – It started with Raiden. Then I realized that Cage, Liu Kang, Kitana, and even Jax had elements of the fallen hero in their story. Look, I get that the fallen hero as a concept is compelling. However, it started to get old. By the time I got to Jax’s story, I was just done with the fallen hero story. Enough already.

The Verdict

Overall, the Mortal Kombat 11 story is strong. It’s much better than previous versions. It is especially better than the disaster that was MKX. Hell, I don’t even remember the story from that game. They corrected everything that I feel like they screwed up in previous games. They were able to keep the story open for future installments. Sure, it’s not perfect, but I might be one of the only people that plays these types of games for the story. If you haven’t already, play through the Mortal Kombat 11 story. It’s worth the time.

THB Notable Multi and Colorless cards

Introduction

Welcome, finally, to my THB notable multi and colorless cards. Before we get started, I have an admission. I’m a bad webmaster. You already know that. But, I’m nothing if not honest and willing to admit when I’m not very good at something. It’s been a couple of weeks since I started the Theros articles and I’m just now getting around to the multicolored and colorless cards. I have no excuse. Last week was vacation and the only day that I had anything planned was when my wife and I went to Boston on Wednesday. So, now that we have that all out of the way, let’s get to talking about some cards.

Multicolored (The Only Colors are Blue and Black, right?)

In what might be a first for one of these articles, I’ve played both of the cards that I’m discussing in this section. I had a fun UB control deck that I played in MTGA. I searched for some updates for the deck when Theros released and this was one of the cards in that deck. The body, as they say, dies to removal, but the Fact or Fiction effect is pretty cool and fun to play.

This card was also added to my deck. Once again, it’s not a game breaking card by itself. However, it does cause an opponent to obsess a bit over removal, opening the game up for the other UB shenanigans. Plus, that alternate art is nice.

Colorless (Wait, there’s only one notable colorless card. Let’s talk more about multicolored)

This card is dumb. I get that it’s a Titan, but still. I’ve played against it a few times. It’s not as broken as it first appeared. It is just one of those cards that when it’s played, I roll my eyes. I just know I’m going to be in for stupid shenanigans. Well, don’t you usually play stupid shenanigans, you might say? Of course, but I am all about do as I say not as I do. And I say, sir, no shenanigans for you!

When I first saw this card, I thought it might be the broken card of the set. Then, I saw the casting cost. Then I saw the creature type. And it all started to make sense. Wizards likes their 3/5 Sphinxes with ridiculous casting cost and stupid abilities. This one is UW. Which means it has a gold border. That ensures that I will pick the card in cube way too early.

The Verdict

The original Theros wasn’t know for its multicolored cards. Death changes a plane apparently. The multicolored cards in this set are fun. They might not be good, but I don’t care about all that. I just want to have fun. And make my opponent’s life miserable for the half an hour we play. Before you ask, yes that includes Chris. At least I’m not a complete sociopath. I do feel bad when I make his life miserable. Plus, we always get a good laugh from it, too. So, if you’re like me and you just like being the fun police, there’s plenty here to make that happen. Thanks for reading my THB multi and colorless notable cards article. Stay tuned over the next couple of days for an article about Battlegrounds.

Theros Beyond Death Notable Gruul Cards

Introduction

Welcome to my Theros Beyond Death notable Gruul cards article. Last time, I went over the Esper colors. Those are my favorite colors and my favorite two and three color combinations. As a died in the wool blue mage, I absolutely hate red. I do like forcing Gx in cube drafts but, other than that, I don’t have much use for green, either. With all of that being said, there have been some green and red cards that have caught my eye in the set.

I’m not terribly proud of this next admission, but it is relevant to the topic of discussion. I spent the last hour or so swearing at Magic the Gathering Arena opponents who seem to always be able to draw and play exactly the card they need when they need it. Mind you, I’m not opening that discussion. I just wanted to say that I was playing on MTGA.

They are allowing players to play with the World Championship decks from this weekend. It’s a cool event for cheap gamers like me who would never get a chance to play a competitive deck. I chose the Jeskai Fires deck. So, I am capable of playing red. I just don’t like to. With all that being said, lets look at some Theros Beyond Death notable Gruul cards.

Red (Bolt you for lethal? I think we can do a bit better than that.)

This card is sneaky fun, in my opinion. You get a two turn Act of Treason. Then, depending on the board state, you get a turn of removal. Finally, you get almost guaranteed board sweep unless your opponent is playing low attack and high health creatures. In any case, I would play this card for the giggles alone.

I’m a big fan of Through the Breach effects. This gives you that, plus a potential big body itself if you should ever end up getting devotion. I’m pretty sure this is one of the first cards that I texted Chris about and it was all about that Through the Breach text. That card is just so much fun to play in cube. I’d like to test if it is just as much fun in a deck built around it.

Green (You Want Infinite Mana? Because This Might Be How You Get Infinite Mana)

Magic the Gathering has been kind to shirtless green dudes the last few years. First, Oko threw the entirety of the multiverse into chaos. He become the first card in a while to get the ban hammer in almost every format, both competitive and casual. Now, this guy shows up. I’m obviously not saying that he is as powerful as Oko, but he could cause a bit of a ruckus with the right friends.

Speaking of friends, there’s this guy. Chris texted me a picture of him when he was spoiled. I don’t remember my exact response, but it definitely contained some curse words. Again, I can’t promise that this card is any good. In fact, in most formats, it probably isn’t. However, in Commander, this guy plus that dryad up there has got to be some kind of game winning combo. I’m too lazy to find it. Maybe one of you can.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my part two, Theros Beyond Death Notable Gruul Cards. As promised, I’m not as excited about these cards as I was about the Esper cards. Still, there are some fun red and green cards. I just will never play them unless they come to one of the MTGO cubes and get picked up by xMage. Uh, I mean, unless I invest some case into MTGO and play the cube there. Now that I’m somewhat back in the habit, join us in a couple of days for the colorless and multicolored cards.

Theros Beyond Death Notable Cards

Introduction

Note: This is only the Esper edition of Theros Beyond Death notable cards. It is also two weeks late. Those of you who have been with us for any time at all know this is all very on brand for 2 Generations Gaming. In spite of our best efforts, we are often late and incomplete in our assessments. So be it! Enjoy anyway!

Welcome to my Theros Beyond Death notable cards article. As you know from my previous articles on the subject, these are not necessarily the best cards. They might not even be the most popular cards. They are simply cards that speak to me for some reason or another.

What’s this? Actual gaming content on our gaming web page? Yeah, it took a bit longer than anticipated, but I’m on a regular schedule again updating the page. There will be a plethora of gaming and comic content for the foreseeable future. Look forward to that! Now, let’s get on to Theros Beyond Death notable cards.

White (Stupid Combos? Isn’t that usually Green?)

When I first saw this card, I texted Chris, “This card has to be broken, right? Then again, I’m bad, so I might just be wrong.” He did some searching but didn’t find anything in Standard. I still contend that someone somewhere is gonna break this one.

Honorable Mention – Another (actual) infinite combo? What is happening with white lately? It used to be that their infinite combos were impossible to pull off. Now there is one definite broken card and possibly another if I’m right about Sentinel’s Eyes. I mean, I know I’m not, but it won’t stop me from hoping.

Blue (Forget Countering Your Spells, I’m Just Going to Exile Them)

Those who know me best know that I am a blue mage at heart. I complain often about the fun police but that is only because I want to be the fun police. If I can’t counter a creature, then I want to destroy it. If I can’t counter a spell…well, there’s rarely a time that I can’t counter a spell. This card just adds extra salt to that counter by exiling the card.

An enchantment? With flash? That exiles? Another way to look at it is that it is a permanent instant that prevents the casting of one of your opponent’s most powerful spells. Either way, those are two great tastes that taste great together. They taste like salt. You didn’t think I was going to say victory there, did you? Goodness me, no, this thing is way too slow.

Black (If I Can’t Exile It, I’ll Destroy It)

You are probably noticing a theme here. Honestly, if you’re not, I’d be worried. It’s not that tough of a pattern. This one is even less powerful than the blue enchantment at the same mana cost, which seems weird. Then again, WotC did print Oko, so mana cost clearly doesn’t mean a thing.

My main decks are generally UB. The reason for this, as mentioned above, is that I like to play the fun police. If I can’t counter your spells, then I just want to remove them. From the battlefield, from your hand, from your graveyard. Just get them the hell out of here.

The Verdict

There are some fun cards in the Esper colors in this set. I have updated my UB control list on Arena. So far, it hasn’t been as much fun to play, but that usually just means that I need to play more to figure out how things work. Join me next time for the Gruul version and then colorless and lands after that. Thanks for reading!

Noob’s Top 10: Super Bowl LIV

Introduction

First, it was nice of the NFL to name this year’s Super Bowl LIV after Steven Tyler’s daughter. I don’t think she’s been working much lately, so this will be a bit of a pick me up for her. Secondly, this Top 10 is going to be the “Top 10 reason I would actually watch the Super Bowl this year (but still won’t because my family has a tradition)” but that title was entirely too long.

Besides, I’m not sure how I would watch the game. I got rid of Hulu Live TV a few months ago to save money. Chris and I talked about maybe getting together for the game, but as too often happens with our plans, they fell apart. So, we are going to go with the usual family plan of watching movies instead. However, I will still have the Gamecast of Super Bowl LIV on in the background because I really want to watch this game. Let’s explore why.

Update: This was supposed to be posted before the Super Bowl. As happens, it was not. So, I will update it as a preview and post mortem. Hope you enjoy. Also be sure to check out my championship preview.

Noob’s Top 10: Super Bowl LIV

10. Eff the Pats – For the first time in forever, the Patriots didn’t even sniff the Super Bowl this year. Long time fans of the page will know why this makes me so happy. For those who are new here, welcome! I have always hated the Patriots for as long as I can remember. Stick around for a while and you’ll learn why. In any case, I’m so happy that the Pats lost in the wildcard round.

Update: The Patriots still weren’t in the game. In spite of my fears that they might find a way to use Tom Brady’s connection to Donald Trump to Electoral College their way in, the only connection to the Patriots was Jimmy G.

9. Schadenfreude – Don’t think that just because the Pats aren’t in the Super Bowl that I won’t be able to find joy in the misery of others. That’s my specialty. There is plenty to be happy about if Jimmy G falls on his face.

Update: Speaking of Jimmy G, he didn’t exactly fall on his face. However, he definitely wasn’t up to the challenge of out Mahomesing Mahomes. Honestly, I don’t know if anyone was up to that challenge this year.

8. Halftime Show – Gaga and Katy Perry. Then, whatever the heck happened last year. This year, another show that middle aged white guys like me will surely enjoy. I mean, Shakira and JLo on the same stage? How can you go wrong?

Update: The answer, of course, is that you couldn’t go wrong. Unless you are a bitter old racist. Then, seemingly, you lost your ever loving mind.

7. Andy Reid – I give him a lot of crap for his clock management and for good reason. However, a couple of weeks ago, Chris and I were texting. I said something about Reid letting the game plan go and allowing his coordinators to call the shots. I’m not sure how true that is, but the team has been running smoothly.

Update: Andy Reid was in the perfect position to Andy Reid the hell out of this game. He didn’t. Furthermore, it seemed like the Chiefs weren’t going to let him if he tried.

6. Go for the throat – Directly related to the last point, the Chiefs have taken a page from the Patriots playbook. They try to score at the end of the half and then bury the opposition with their first possession of the second half. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. Especially since it isn’t the Pats.

Update: The Chiefs managed to do neither of these things. I texted Chris that SF being able to prevent this from happening was huge. In fact, San Francisco was in prime position to win this game. They did nearly everything right. Uh, about that…

5. Kyle Shanahan – Remember, he was the offensive coordinator on the Falcons the year that they blew a 25 point lead. Now, I’m not saying that will have any bearing on this game, but it’s something to keep in the back of your mind as you watch.

Update: Poor Kyle Shanahan. I heard a ridiculous stat on Simmons and Sal about the last two 4th quarters that a Kyle Shanahan offense has been in the Super Bowl. It wasn’t good. Now, he goes down in history as the guy who blew it against Belichick and out Andy Reided Andy Reid.

4. Next Year – I don’t know the last time I was actually looking forward to an NFL season. It has been at least a decade. I got out of football slowly over the years, but you can see my progression if you watch my Facebook memories.

Update: I said to Chris after the game that I’m looking forward to the season, so this hasn’t changed. I want to see if Baltimore can continue their rise next year like the Chiefs did this year. I want to see if Father Time can finally defeat the Golden Boy. Chris mentioned Buffalo, who could easily win the east if so. Can’t wait!

3. Prop Bets – I’m not much of a gambler. Unlike many weekend warrior bettors, not even the amount of Super Bowl props can make me want to throw my money away. However, I like the shows about the bets and imagining myself making stupid money because someone scored a safety as the first points of the game.

Update: I didn’t make any money off the props again this year. I didn’t spend any money on them, either, so all in all, zero net gain is a win. Like the commercials that everyone enjoys watching for some reason, these things are getting out of control, though.

2. San Francisco’s Defense – Other than Patrick Mahomes, this is the sole reason to watch the game. They haven’t been historically good this year, but San Francisco’s defense is downright scary. If the 49ers win, I hope it is because of the defense and not beautiful Jimmy G.

Update: As mentioned above, San Francisco was in the pest position to win a Super Bowl that I’ve seen from a team in the last few years. They had a 10 point lead. Their defense was confounding Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs offense. Then, it all just fell apart. Or…

1. Patrick Mahomes – I had a brief fling with Lamar Jackson this year as my quarterback man crush, but Mahomes is the OG real deal. He is the only reason that I watch football at all over the last two years.

Update: Alternatively, Mahomes just did what Mahomes does. He and the Chiefs just seemed to want to spot their opponents 10+ point leads in the playoffs and then come back to win the game. I watched the last two touchdown drives when I finally realized they were streaming the game on NFL.com. They were things of beauty.

The Verdict

Super Bowl LIV was fun. Sure, the middle was a bit concerning if you were rooting for the Chiefs, but the comeback was amazing and that’s all we’ll remember years from now. The NFL will make sure of that by only playing highlights from the comeback. I’m excited for the new season and a fan of football again. However, not enough to watch the XFL.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview

Introduction

Welcome to my 2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview. This is getting posted during the Tennessee/KC game, so it will soon be obsolete. Nevertheless, I wanted to post the article for posterity sake. You will just have to take my word for it that I wrote it a few days ago. After all, I’m pretty good about being honest.

Speaking of being honest, I just spent the last 45 minutes playing cribbage with my wife. So, this isn’t going to post until after the Chiefs game and maybe well into the evening game. Oh well, better late than never. So, I can’t use the “Eff the Pats” scale that I used a couple of years ago. They got effed by Tennessee in the coin flip round.

Another admission. You can obviously see that this is posting on Monday afternoon, after both games were played. I mean, that’s not a huge deal since I’m not making any picks (though my picks were the Chiefs and 49ers, so 5-4-1 so far in the playoffs and improving every round). But, still, in the interest of full disclosure, I figured I’d explain. Now, on to the potential match ups.

Least Favorite (Tennessee vs. San Francisco)

San Francisco seems like the only team left in the playoffs capable of containing Derrick Henry. That would mean that this game would just end up being a snooze fest defensive battle. Once upon a time, that’s the kind of game I’d be interested in. However, this isn’t your father’s National Football League. We want offense and lots of it. Keep this boring match up in the truly worst of timelines.

Slightly More Interesting (Tennessee vs. Green Bay)

At least in this game, the possibility exists that Henry goes off and sets a Super Bowl record for rushing. Plus, Rodgers gets to go for his second. This is just a demonstrably more interesting match up than Tennessee and San Fran. I don’t want Tennessee anywhere near the Super Bowl this year, but facts are facts.

Okay, Now We’re Talking (Kansas City vs. Green Bay)

I was having a tough time ranking the last two match ups. Like Chris said when I texted him about it, “I just want KC. I’d be okay with either match up.” I’m excited for this one because I think it could just be a good old fashioned shoot out between Mahomes and Rodgers. But, Chris put a bit of a damper on it by saying that Mahomes wins hands down. He’s right. KC’s talent on offense is just ridiculous.

Strength vs. Strength (Kansas City vs. San Francisco)

Kansas City’s offense, as I just said, is ridiculous. San Francisco’s defense is downright scary. The classic immovable object vs. the irresistible force. Who wins? Unfortunately, I think that it’s San Fran’s defense, but it will still be a fun game if it happens.

The Verdict

Three out of the four match ups can be really fun. The fourth, I could talk myself into finding interesting in the two weeks of hype leading to the game. In any case, I hope that your team finds a way into the Super Bowl. Thanks for reading my 2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview. Be sure to come back for my Super Bowl Preview and Post Mortem in the weeks to come.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2019 NFL Divisional Playoffs Post Mortem

Introduction

Welcome to my 2019 NFL Divisional Playoffs Post Mortem. For the most part, things went as planned. There was, of course, the Tennessee Tuxedos destroying the Ravens. Other than that, though, there weren’t a ton of surprises. This is reflected in my 2-1-1 (I picked the Seahawks, but knew in my heart that Green Bay would win, so I’m taking a tie for that game.) record for the round. With my 1-3 in the coin flip weekend, that brings me to 3-4-1 for the playoffs so far.

That’s not a great record, of course. But, depending on how I bet the games, I could still be plus money at this point. Then again, I probably would have put a small fortune on Baltimore, so that point it moot. Speaking of Baltimore…

Tennessee at Baltimore

What more can I possibly say about this game? I was so convinced of the outcome that I didn’t bother even tuning in to see how it was going. It was only after Chris texted me several times during the beginning of the game. At least one of them was, “WTF”. So, I tuned in and Baltimore was down 14-0. Well, I thought, LJ is the MVP for this year and there’s plenty of time to come back. Well, about that. The come back never materialized and half of my Super Bowl pick was DOA. Well, both of them were actually dead, but that wasn’t official until Sunday.

Minnesota at San Francisco

This was the least surprising game of the weekend. I thought that San Francisco would roll the Vikings and they did. Sure, Minnesota stayed close for the first half, but eventually, San Fran’s talent just took over and won the game. There’s a reason that they were my close second to make it to the Super Bowl from the NFC.

Seattle at Green Bay

This was probably the other least surprising game from the weekend. I know that makes no sense in a couple of contexts. First, I picked Seattle to go to the Super Bowl. Second, how can you have 2 least surprising victories? Well, technically, you can’t. However, my original statement made even less sense, if that makes, er, sense. I mean, all you have to do is look at that last run on sentence to see where my brain is today. I mean, it was a bit surprising when I saw that Seattle was starting to come back, but not really. Russell Wilson is known for those come backs. So, ultimately, not terribly surprising.

Houston at Kansas City

I went for a walk through the Quabbin with Christine. I came home to no less than 5 texts from Chris again. Again, at least one of them read, “WTF.” So, I went to check the score of the game and it was 28-24. I thought that was the final. Nope, halftime. KC continued to pour it on after halftime and Mahomes seems to have finally reached his final form. We will see if Andy Reid can prevent himself from Andy Reiding all over the AFCC, but I’m excited for the prospect of Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Doesn’t even matter who they play. But, that is a discussion for the next article.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my 2019 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem. I texted Chris the other day that 9 times out of 10, Baltimore wins that game. We just live in the worst timeline. Oh well, at least Mahomes is still alive and chucking it. As long as that’s true, I’ll pay attention. So, hopefully, the timeline is fixing itself as we speak and I’ll get to see him in the Super Bowl.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Spawn 303 Review

Introduction

Welcome to my Spawn 303 review. It’s been a month or two since we’ve visited our old friend. Big changes, predictably, happened in 300. For the most part, as you’ll see in this review, those changes have paid off. Granted, the comic wasn’t getting stale, by any measure.

In fact, Chris and I have texted more than once in the past few months to remark how fresh and interesting the comic felt in spite of being around for almost 300 issues with the same person in charge. I know it hasn’t always been that way. From what I gather, there was a period when Spawn was less than.

Well, that’s mostly over now. Spawn is a solid title and one that I don’t mind collecting. I read it first every time I get a new shipment of books. So, without further interruption, let’s get to my Spawn 303 review.

The Great

The Story – I said that Spawn was once less than. Honestly, I wasn’t reading the book then. I have collected most of the books from 1-300. I’m mostly only missing the homage covers because they run 20 bucks at the cheapest on eBay. However, I haven’t read those stories. I just have heard that people were pooping on the book and the story for a while. Well, I’m here to say that the story is solid again. It isn’t perfect by any stretch. But, ever since the Dark Horror story, when I got back into the book, things have been more positive than negative. Ever since the “reboot” in 300, this story has been awesome. If you’ve ever had any interest in Spawn, now is the time to get into the book. You won’t be disappointed.

The Cover – In the past, I haven’t been much of an art guy. Chris is the art guy. I’m the writing guy. However, he has rubbed off on me (mind out of the gutter, perverts) and now I’m actually looking at and ordering variant covers for my collection. Luckily, since a bit before 300, the main covers of Spawn have been fire and this one is no different. I know Mattina gets crap for ripping off covers, but you can’t deny this one is beautiful.

The Good

Jason Scott Alexander Art – Those of you who have been with the page for a few years know that I wasn’t a huge fan of JSA’s art. I liked the style for the Dark Horror story since I felt it fit. However, when the stories became more realistic and less ephemeral in nature, it didn’t feel right. In issues 300, Chris and I actually lamented the loss of Capullo and wished for his return full time. That issue must have inspired JSA, though. His art has become more defined and realistic. Hopefully that trend continues because I like my Spawn realism.

Uncle Todd’s vignettes – Since issue 300 (and maybe even before), Uncle Todd has been giving us small 5-page stories at the end of each issue. They have served to fill in some back story for the new stories going forward. Maybe even more than the main story, I’ve looked forward to these and hope they continue.

The Decent

She Spawn – I know that She Spawn has been a staple in the Spawn universe for some time now. I’m a bit lukewarm on the current iteration of the character. It might just be because I haven’t kept up with the comic consistently over the years. I’m just not sure who this person is, who the woman who was also given some of the “Spawn force” that was killed is, and why I should care. Maybe through the vignettes and story, I will come to care more.

Necroplasm – Initially, I thought the necroplasm idea was cool. When it was scrapped, I didn’t miss it all that much. Now that it is back, I ultimately don’t care all that much. Maybe, like She Spawn, it will take more significance as the story continues.

The Verdict

Things are progressing nicely in Spawn. I like the “reboot” of the character and the introduction of most of the new characters. I like that we have gotten away from the realism of the “new world order” story since it was getting a bit too real for me. There are some decisions that either confuse me or that I don’t like. Overall, though, the comic is strong and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Thanks for reading my Spawn 303 review and I’ll see you next month.

Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL DivIsional Round Preview

Introduction

Well, Coin Flip Weekend lived up to its nickname. Now we are on to the 2019 NFL Divisional Round. All 3 games were decided by one score. The only home team to win was Houston and they needed a near miracle 4th quarter comeback to do it. I ended up going 1-3 in my picks, which is the worst outcome.

2-2 let’s me brag that at least I was .500 and could have won money. 3-1 means that I was only one game off from perfect. 4-0 keeps that dream alive. Hell, even 0-4 is cool because then I could shoot for the winless streak. But, 1-3 just means that I was bad. Or, the weekend was really weird. Probably a little bit of both. Okay, let’s make some more terrible picks.

Saturday Games

Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers – Chris offered me the option of the Seahawks or the 49ers a few weeks ago as the NFC representative in the NFC. I’m more or less 100% convinced that nobody is beating Baltimore in the AFC. I picked Seattle at the time because they were “the more complete team. San Fran has a good defense, but I wonder about Jimmy G”. Honestly, that hasn’t changed except Seattle has so many injuries that they’re no longer as complete. Regarding this game, I thought that New Orleans was going to destroy Minnesota. I should have done a bit more research at the Saints tortured playoffs past. I again have that feeling this week about the 49ers. The only thing that gives me pause is Jimmy G’s inexperience. If he holds up, 49ers roll.

Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens have been the best team in the NFL, by far, since they lost to the Browns early in the season. Lamar Jackson is the run away MVP. I think their running back (who’s name escapes me and I’m too lazy to Google right now. Yes, I understand that I could have Googled it in the time it took me to type this, but that means switching tabs. Don’t judge me.) may come back this week. Tennessee knocked off the Pats, but that was their last hurrah. This game will be over shortly after halftime.

Sunday Games

Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs – This is another game that I can see being an absolute blowout. The Texans ruined my Bills dream this year, but that’s okay. The Bills will hopefully be back next year and the Pats, unless they make some great moves, will most likely take another step backwards. There are some arguments against a blowout. Andy Reid (though this isn’t the Championship yet), Watson can get hot, and the Chiefs defense is still suspect at best. Still, I think they get it done and give everyone the LJ/Mahomes matchup they want.

Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers – This is the only game that I don’t foresee a blowout. Both of these teams are pretty evenly matched. I did pick Seattle, as mentioned above, but I’m lukewarm on that pick. Maybe this is finally the game that the injury riddled Seahawks lose. I guess I’ll pick the Seahawks, still, as the lone “upset” road win for this week to stick to my guns.

The Verdict

The 2019 NFL Divisional round is a decent group of games. Three of them are going to most likely end in a blowout. The fourth very well could do the same. If I remember correctly, that’s sort of how the playoffs go lately. The first round is a coin flip. The second round is home field with several blow outs and the championship round and Super Bowl are decent games.

Well, if all goes according to plan this week, next week looks great. KC/Baltimore and Seattle/San Fran will be great games. They will also keep my Super Bowl pick alive. Alas, I put no money on that, so again, I’m left looking like a chump. Oh well, see you next week for the Conference Championships.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Coin Flip Weekend

Introduction

Note: Welcome to 2019 NFL Coin Flip Weekend. I thought that I had already pressed publish on this post. However, it would seem that I never even saved it. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but it disappeared from page. So, I will attempt to recreate it now. Also, you know that I’m not lying because I admit to picking both the Bills and Pats last night. Also, I know I promised New Year’s resolutions in my previous article. They are coming, faithful fans. Be patient.

A few years ago, I started this “completely ignorant” shtick by picking the playoffs. I don’t remember my record, but I remember that it was good enough to continue the shtick even into this year, a year that I’ve been interested in football more than any time in the last 5 or 6. I dubbed Wild Card weekend coin flip weekend because that was the only time I lost games due to the crazy nature.

AFC Coin Flip Games

Buffalo at Houston – Those of you who have been reading the page know that Buffalo has been my darling since about week 4 or 5. Others more in the know have finally admitted what I’ve known all year. Buffalo’s defense is very good. Their offense is a rag tag group of nobodies and that will eventually catch up to them. But, I think their defense can carry them in this game. It all ends next week against Baltimore, but it will be fun for another week.

Tennessee at New England – I was talking to a friend the other day and he reiterate what I’ve believed for most of my adult life. Sports are scripted. Sure, the outcomes of games might be more or less “random”, but leagues work heavily to push certain narratives. One of those narratives for the last decade or so has been that the Patriots always start to look mortal towards the end of the year and then suddenly, three weeks later they are in the Super Bowl. I honestly don’t think that’s going to happen, but it is possibly Brady’s last year in New England, so maybe he rides off like so many others have been able, too. Plus, the game is in Foxboro and the dynasty doesn’t end there.

NFC Coin Flip Games

Vikings at Saints – I really like Drew Brees. I know that he’s been “cancelled” or whatever by Twitter, but who gives a crap what the shut ins and bots at Twitter have to say? I’m sure there’s a good reason and I will do more research over the offseason to see what the ballyhoo is about. For now, though, I will live in my bubble of ignorance and root for the Saints. Plus, maybe they can finally put that stupid Minnesota Miracle nonsense behind them.

Seattle at Philadelphia – I find it personally offensive that the records of these teams are nearly identical to the Pats/Titans and yet, the team with the decidedly better record and resume are the ones on the road. Also, I picked Seattle to go to the Super Bowl a few weeks ago. I know that I’m allowed to change my pick, but I really don’t want to. I want to see Baltimore/Seattle, so I’m staying stubborn on this one.

The Verdict

The games this weekend aren’t bad. I’m worried that the Pats will survive another week to haunt me like the zombie movies of my youth. Other than that, I would be fine with any outcome. Oh, no Philadelphia, either. 9-7 division winners can get effed. Hope you all enjoy 2019 NFL Coin Flip Weekend and see you next week when the playoffs really start.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).