Category Archives: On the Tabletop

Adventures from cards, miniatures, pencil and paper RPGs, and other old fashioned games from before the internet ruined everything.

Living a Childhood Dream

(Note: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a father and his two sons pretended that they were heroes in the Star Wars universe. They became friends, defeated Storm Troopers, saved the day, and lived happily ever after. Well, not entirely…)

I mentioned in my last article that being a gamer dad requires delicate balance sometimes. That article dealt mostly with the struggle to keep them away from games that are inappropriate for their age. This introduction represents the same struggle, though from a different point of view.

Several years ago, I found myself in one of the local gaming stores. I don’t remember the exact reason for this particular visit. At the time, I was just getting back into the swing of tabletop gaming and often went into the store simply to browse all of the golden oldies I remembered and the newbies I wanted to try. During this trip, a particular newbie stood out from the rest. I reached onto the shelf and pulled off Star Wars: Edge of the Empire RPG.

Look at all that cool stuff!
Look at all that cool stuff!

A couple of factors went into my decision to check out that particular game. First, I have fond memories of playing the Star Wars RPG with friends. If that had been the only reason, I’d have grabbed any of the D&D books because we played that much more often than Star Wars. Aside from childhood memories, though closely related, the kids had discovered Star Wars through Lego games and the movies. Inspired by their interest and my own nostalgia, I decided right then to buy the game.

I didn’t actually buy the game, of course. I’m the jerk who does my research at the local store only to purchase everything through an online retailer, most notably Amazon. Free shipping and a complete lack of human contact are appealing to a cheap and antisocial gamer like me. So, I ended up buying the game on Amazon.

More corporate shillery in a desperate and blatant attempt at picking up a sponsorship.
More corporate shillery in a desperate and blatant attempt at picking up a sponsorship.

Unfortunately, neither of the boys showed any interest as they were both very young at the time. Still, the game looked fun and I put it away in the hopes that they might grow into the role, so to speak. It took them a couple of years, but they did me proud. Liam found the game one day and said, “This game looks fun, Dad. We should play it.” Well, you don’t have to ask me twice. The chance to play RPGs with a group of friends and/or family comes so rarely that I jump at the chance. (See the now defunct Roll 20 group that never even got started.) Not only did the three of us sit down to start and learn the game, we made it about halfway through the starter adventure.

The box set worked perfectly as an introduction int these types of games. There were premade characters in familiar Star Wars archetypes (Droid, Wookie, Smuggler) so we did not have to spend any time doing that and could get right into the adventure. The action started right away. Too often these intro adventures put you in a tavern and you have to spend more time getting to know your adventuring partners on top of spending time creating those characters. True, this one was in a cantina, the Star Wars version of a tavern, but immediately Gamorrean guards busted in and the action began.

When the pig men show up, you know it is about to become a party.
When the pig men show up, you know it is about to become a party.

That action took the form of rolling dice as is usually the case in these types of games. However, instead of numbered dice, the game uses symbols for success and failure. There are also other symbols that can lead to overwhelming success or catastrophic failure and the game does a good job of introducing these and giving ideas of how to incorporate them into the storytelling aspect.

Being a writer of books and articles that are ready by virtually nobody, the evolving stories of these games are what hook me and keep me playing. Thankfully, both of the boys inherited some of that creativity and they helped to keep things moving. They were also silly at times as only kids can be and they had me cracking up with their own and their character’s antics. I look forward to finishing the adventure.

We had to press pause on saving the galaxy–well, really, we were saving ourselves so that maybe some day we can help save the galaxy–for some mundane reason or another. I might have had to cook dinner. Maybe we just reached our limits as adventurers and needed to rest after all that excitement. Whatever the reason, the session left me wanting more.

 

We still have to escape this fat guy so that we don't end up in one of those metal Princess Leia bikinis.  Trust me, it wouldn't be pretty.
We still have to escape this fat guy so that we don’t end up in one of those metal Princess Leia bikinis. Trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty.

Not only do we have the final showdown to get transport off the planet, but there are other adventures to discover. In fact, one is mentioned to be available on the web page for the game but I haven’t been able to find it. (Update: Google saves the day again! I found it.) In addition, I suggested the idea of getting together with Dereck (one of the failed Roll20 companions) and his kids since they are friends with our kids, too, for a big friends and family group that can expand into other games as the boys get older. Liam has already inquired about D&D, which makes me happy. I enjoy other RPGs, but always come back to that one as my favorite. Heck, my ongoing (and currently in remission) addiction to World of Warcraft is no doubt fueled by its similarities to D&D.

I feel her subtle whisper in my ear once again as winter approaches.
I feel her subtle whisper in my ear once again as winter approaches.

I haven’t looked at the D&D beginner box set because I already own so much product that I can’t justify another purchase. Therefore, I can’t comment on the quality. However, if you have a curious new role player looking to learn about the genre, the Star Wars: Edge of the Empire set is an excellent place to start. I remember talking to Chris and he said that he went into Barnes and Noble to look for a starter book for D&D and was overwhelmed by it all. This cuts through all of that to provide everything needed to pretend to live in your favorite galaxy far, far away.

And, get hyped…

Season of Change

Well guys and gals, it’s been 14 months..14 months of article writin’, podcast recordin’, gamin’ fun…and as with most good things, it has to come to an end. Hold on! Get off that ledge! 2 Guys Gaming is not going away! The only thing that is going away is the current format of our podcast. Starting next month, I will be stepping down from my role has co-host/ comic relief, and will hand the reins to Shawn’s sons, as 2 Guys Gaming will become Noob and Sons. I know, it’s terribly heartbreaking that you won’t hear my half-baked thoughts and excessive cursing for an hour anymore, but it’s for the best, l promise you. The podcast will now be released on a regular basis. If you have been with us since the beginning you know that this huge as this time of year is killer for us. Between jobs, family obligations, and other unforeseen events that seem to happen only around the holidays, we have been less than perfect with sticking to a podcast release schedule.

Why you ask?

Believe it or not, we are not roommates. We live about 35-40 minutes away from each other, so it’s difficult to plan a time that works for both us where we can record our wonderful podcast AND do some much-needed gaming. So typically once a month we get together for about 4-5 hours to get our gaming fix and record the show. During this season, even once a month is almost impossible. We are lucky if we even get one game of Left 4 Dead or Dice Masters in from September to December. Typically we only get together on my birthday in late December..but there is alcohol flowing freely and you don’t want a microphone in front of us then…things get…dark. So rather than going without a podcast for 4 months, we decided that this change was necessary. Yes, we decided. No TMZ worthy feud to see here. It’s what was needed to be done to ensure that you guys are getting new content. Shawn and his boys are more than up to the challenge. This podcast has always been Shawn’s..I’ve just been keeping the seat warm for his sons. Make me proud guys.

As for me, my erratic writing schedule and I will still be around on this website and from time to time I will be a guest on the podcast. So you haven’t heard the last of me. To all of you that listen to the 2 Guys Gaming podcast, thanks for the support, it’s been fun to yap at you about games. Now keep your eyes and ears open for the debut of Noob and Sons.

 

<Drops the mic>

 

-Blond (Chris)

Rapid Fire: Random Thoughts Vol.3

Hey guys and gals! It’s time for another brilliantly written edition of Rapid Fire! ….. <cough>…moderately well written?

-I really should have bought 2 boxes of Zendikar. Or at the very least, a box and a fat pack. I’ve found out the hard way that Full Art Lands + Expedition Lands = Sold Out. I guess I should just be happy that I was able to walk into Off the Wall games and buy a box without a preorder on the release day.

-As for the box..My notable pulls were: Ob Nixilis, Ulamog (or Newlamog as Shawn is fond of calling it), Canopy Vista, Cinder Glade, Shambling Vent, Greenwarden of Murasa, Oblivion Sower, Bring to Light, Ruinous Path, a foil Omnath, Locus of Rage and a couple of foil full art lands. Not too shabby. I really just wanted the Ulamog for my Tron deck, so I was very happy with the box.

-Has anyone seen the new Heroes series, Heroes Reborn? No? Lucky. Of all of the super powers they could have gone with, they basically copy the original series’ characters’ powers, and then add in some whack-a-doo power where the character draws a sword and is teleported into a video game. Yeah. You know what my power is? Seeing into the future…you know what’s not there? This show.

-Am I the only 35 year old that watches Teen Titans Go? I don’t care..that show is funny as hell.

-Dusted off the Playstation One and started a new game of Final Fantasy V. Forgot how addicting that game is..if I only I had more time to devote to it. Gone are the days of being a teenager with no responsibilities who can sit around playing an RPG for 9 hours a day. Damn real world.

-Anyone see Fear the Walking Dead? Terrible. Just terrible. Spin-off cash grab.

-Finally got to see what a Splinter Twin deck can do..too bad I was on the receiving end of it. Unfortunately for me, total beat-down in game 1. Unfortunately for him, I played a Kilnmouth Dragon and flashed an entire hand of dragons, making it a 17/17 beatstick in game 2. Then game 3 happened and made that beat-down I suffered in game 1 look like a friendly massage. Stupid infinite combo.<Sigh>…I’ll always have game 2…

 

That’s it for this edition of Rapid Fire! Thanks for reading and as always, feel free to leave us a comment below!

Back in the Saddle

(Editor’s Note: Holy shoot! We haven’t been around for a month now! No podcast, no articles, no videos, only a few tweets. This is no way to run an operation. However, we’re back and have some new things in development that we will be unveiling over the next few weeks. Stay tuned!)

You may have noticed (mainly because I just told you) that we here at 2 Guys Gaming have lost interest in Magic recently. This has manifested on the page as articles about other games like Heroclix and Dicemasters. Dicemasters, especially, has become one of our favorite games. we had an epic game a couple of weeks ago during the monthly podcast recording an nerd night extravaganza. Granted, we have tried to get back into Magic with a few tricks.

This is not one of the tricks, but it might have helped because it's absolutely adorable.
This is not one of the tricks, but it might have helped because it’s absolutely adorable.

Origins represents a new start in the Magic multiverse. We got excited about new possibilities of the set. We even expanded the play group for a night with some sealed. Chris bough a box of the set. I played Magic duels and drafted a bunch on *censored*. I even play tested a few standard decks. It was all fun, but Origins is a core set in the truest sense. It is very limited (no pun intended) in its fun, so we found ourselves drifting back into other games once again.

I still can’t tell if it is just the bored embrace of a familiar lover or actual waning interest driving this lack of enthusiasm for the game. I have always suspected that it is the former. I still find myself watching Magic on a regular basis. I still log in to Duels and *censored* daily. Chris and I had two really great games on the same night that we played the Dicemasters game to end all Dicemasters games. (That’s obviously not true. We will play more Dicemasters games. It is way too much fun. That sounded really dramatic, though, right?) So, we’re not completely out on Magic. It’s just that we’ve had to branch out and see other games. “If you love something, set it free” and all.

That about covers my relationship with Magic lately.
That about covers my relationship with Magic lately.

It was as if Wizards of the Coast heard our cries of boredom. They hired Wil Wheaton to host a shabbily produced cheesy spoiler show. Okay, so they’re not quite Blizzard when it comes to production value, but at least they are trying. Nevertheless, while the show might have needed some work, the hype was real. Annihilator is gone, replaced with exile from the library, but the Eldrazi are still mean as every. A new Ulamog leads the charge for the mana consuming monsters, landfall is back with allies, and they capped it all off with new dual lands and something called an expedition set with enemy fetches that fans have wanted a reprint since the first set.

The announcement of the fetches promised to be a bit of a buzzkill because they represent WotC’s entry into the chase market that is so popular among collectible games. Almost instantly, we saw the effects of this as BFZ boxes and cases sold out within hours of the of the show. I worried, along with Chris, that the prices of boxes might reach a level that we weren’t willing to pay. Then, SCG came to the rescue in an unexpected fashion.

Usually, they are known for their high prices, but they actually have the best deal on a box and a fat pack (my choice of purchase for each set) out of all the online retailers that I checked. Admittedly, I only checked them, but Chris did the leg work for me and reported that boxes almost everywhere were more expensive than the typical 90-100 that i usually pay. The SCG deal is also more money, but I’ve done business with them before and it is an okay deal. As we get closer to release, the boxes will most likely spike in price. Stupid speculative market.

Let's do the math. There's one or two of these things per case and they're preselling for 200 dollars. Nope, doesn't add up. That won't stop me from writing about it on my website and attempting to drive up the price to justify my terrible decision making process.
Let’s do the math. There’s one or two of these things per case and they’re preselling for 200 dollars. Nope, doesn’t add up. That won’t stop me from writing about it on my website and attempting to drive up the price to justify my terrible decision making process.

Oh well, the hype is still real and Chris and I are all in for this set. We discussed spoilers on a DTK level and are ready for all of the new cards. Magic Duels will hopefully be updated with the new cards and story soon after release. That gives me another reason to get excited because I will get to play with the cards that I might not open from physical packs. Also, the story of origins was just interesting enough to keep me wanting more…and we already know the future.

The title of the next set has been released along with some minor details in the form of a teaser trailer. I’m already psyched for the set and we don’t even know any cards, the story, or anything at all to be honest. Nevertheless, I ordered my box and fat pack of Battle for Zendikar and will most likely sign of for Oath of the Gatewatch, too.

Honestly, though the name is kind of dumb and derivative of the RTR block, but I'll overlook it because I'm back on board.
Honestly, though the name is kind of dumb and derivative of the RTR block, but I’ll overlook it because I’m back on board.

I’m back into the game 100%. I bought the duel decks for BFZ. When I showed them to the boys, Liam asked about going to the prerelease. We never made it because it was one of those weekends. I know that I’ve said this next statement several times over the past few months, but this time I mean it for a couple of reasons. First, this set has me really excited. Second, fall and winter are rapidly approaching here in New England and Friday nights are going to be cold and dark. As a result, I want to go to a local FNM for some draft action.

You’re probably thinking, “So, that’s it? Everything is good? This is usually the point in the article where you pull out the rug and introduce opposition in the name of conflict.” Well, now that you mention it, I have seen some people in various Twitch chats complaining about the set and saying how much it sucks.

“This set is terrible.”

“Stop filling the set with junk rares just because you can.”

“Oh, look, another awful and unplayable card.”

“Wow, what an underwhelming set. Except for those expedition lands. Man, those things are hot.”

Sure, they're pretty, but are they 200 dollars pretty? Heavens, no.
Sure, they’re pretty, but are they 200 dollars pretty? Heavens, no.

The funny thing about all of this is that after the announcement of the expedition lands, every website sold out of boxes and cases of the set to the point that the average price went from the usual 90-100 to 110-120, as mentioned above. Okay, let’s take a look a this evidence, CSI style.

  1. Expedition lands are announced.
  2. Speculators go crazy buying bulk.
  3. The sobering reality that lands are chase slowly sets in.
  4. Speculators realize that they either paid 120 for effectively a 1/6 chance at the land or $600 for one guaranteed.
  5. The lands are preordering for 175-220.
  6. Buyer’s remorse hits hard.
  7. Speculators redirect their anger at the set and try to convince everyone how much it sucks.

It’s a dance as old as time. Well, at least as long as Magic has been considered a money hobby. In spite of all of the Captain Buzzkills, I’m still excited. My box and fat pack are going to arrive from SCG soon. I spent more time getting hyped about the set by watching the Community Cup. One of the rounds that I watched was BFZ sealed, so I got to see many of the cards in limited action. I tuned just in time to see Newlamog resolve and proceed to eat the opponent’s library in two turns. That was highly entertaining to watch and I look forward to future opponents making that play since that is just my luck. I know that you are all PJSalting out there, but I’m convinced that luck is a fundamental force int he universe and that mine is terrible when it comes to card games. But, enough about my belly aching. This is an article about how Magic is great again. Time to get back on message, finish this article, and get this web page back on track.

Seriously, if I ever got back into physical D&D, this is exactly how I would die, IRL. I'd roll snake eyes and then the snakes would come out, bite me, inject me with their poison, and then laugh in their stupid snake way as I fell to the floor frothing at the mouth and writing in pain.
Seriously, if I ever got back into physical D&D, this is exactly how I would die, IRL. I’d roll snake eyes and then the snakes would come out, bite me, inject me with their poison, and then laugh in their stupid snake way as I fell to the floor frothing at the mouth and writing in pain.

In that spirit, I have one more thing that has me excited. If we judge strictly ontime played, then I saved the best for last. If not, well it is still very exciting for filthy casual gamers like myself. The Puzzle Quest brand, which I discovered with two rip off D&D match three games and then became obsessed with their Marvel version of the game to the point that I convinced Liam and Aiden to sign up for the game, has announced that they are developing a Magic version of the game.

If ever I needed a picture of Frye from Futurama holding a wad of cash with the words “Shut up and take my money!” superimposed over it, now is the time. Being a father, husband, and busy adjunct college professor, I often don’t have time for involved games that might take days or months. What I often do have time for is hot and quick match 3 action involving colored candies, colored gems, colored soda bottles, and even colored super hero logos. Oh yea, I get around. I have spent an especially embarrassing amount of money and time on Marvel Puzzle Quest. With the amount that I spend on Magic already, this development of Magic Puzzle Quest just might land me simultaneously in bankruptcy and divorce court.

There he is.
There he is.

Rapid Fire: Random Thoughts Vol.2

Greetings faithful reader! It’s August and that means it’s been officially one year since we started your favorite (I presume) gaming site and podcast. In the past year I’ve learned a lot about the industry that we all know and love, myself, my gaming brother, and writing in general. Here’s a few lessons I’ve learned before I get to our regularly scheduled program:

-There are more games than just Magic the Gathering and Gears of War.

-Writing for a website that is devoted to gaming sounds like it would be the easiest thing in the world. It’s not. You quickly learn that just writing about Magic or posting deck lists isn’t going to cut it.

-Gaming takes a backseat to writing and podcast production. Obviously you have to game to get material, but you have to balance your time so you are able to produce content.

-It’s a job. A really, really, rewarding job. But without the paycheck. Although that would be nice. Heh.

-To all of our readers out there..I want to say “Thanks”. It sounds cliche, but if we are able to entertain just a small handful of people, then this is all worth it. So thank you for reading and for listening to our podcast. Hopefully you see/hear the improvements that we have been making and stick with us…trust us, the best is yet to come.

Okay, now I return you to Rapid Fire: Random Thoughts Vol.2….

-Nick Fury: Agent of Shield Heroclix set in a word: Meh. I’m really not loving the “construct the Hulkbuster armor” concept. It seems..well..money grab-ish. Although I will say that the Hulk super rare is an incredible (see what I did there?) sculpt.

-If you are not playing Dicemasters, go buy yourself a starter set because you are missing out.

-My keepers from the Theros block after rotation: Thoughtseize, Purphoros: God of the Forge, Erebos: God of the Dead, Mogis: God of Slaughter, Thassa: God of the Sea, Nykthos: Shrine to Nyx, Stormbreath Dragon (I think he will eventually find a home in Modern) and Anger of the Gods.

-On a whim, I bought a box of Khans of Tarkir despite the fact that a buddy was telling me not to, as I would never make my money back. I’m glad I did. I pulled out 4 fetchlands (Woodland Foothills, Polluted Delta, Flooded Strand and Bloodstained Mire), 2 Dig Through Times, 2 Siege Rhinos, 3 Monastery Swiftspears, a Sorin: Solemn Vistor and a playset of Hordling Outbursts that I needed for a new token deck that I’ve been working on. No buyer’s remorse on that box.

-Who has two thumbs and loses a game of MTG when at one point they were up 28-9? This guy. You live and you learn. I for one learned that when you are playing blue control and there are a few Islands untapped on the other side of the board..you don’t play key cards in your deck..you play mediocre creatures to coax those control spells out.

-Dicemasters’ Loki’s Scepter-Piercing is a nasty card..I was able to essentially shut down the other side of the board with it. It definitely makes your opponent trigger-shy.

-Speaking of Dicemasters, I’m astounded by Shawn’s luck when it comes to opening boosters..he had already pulled a Green Goblin-Gobby from some boosters, and when he opened his A.O.U gravity feed, he managed to pull out 2(!) chases; Magneto and Red Skull. I’ve been watching gravity breaks on Youtube and most of the time people are only pulling 1-2 super rares,. Pulling 2 chases is crazy.

-Sports talk for a second here: To all of my Pats fans out there: You do realize that if Tom Brady’s suspension is overturned, then the league can file an appeal right? If they do, then it most likely wouldn’t be resolved until end of November/mid-December. If they win the appeal then the suspension would be served at that time. Would you rather have him suspended at the beginning of the season or on the cusp of the playoffs? I’m biased but I really don’t think he did anything wrong, other than smack talk Peyton Manning via text, but if they are determined to prove a point and sit him, I’ll take the beginning of the season. Plus, Garroppolo isn’t too shabby, I rather have him come in warmed up right after pre-season instead of watching him sitting on the bench for a couple of months and then trying to fill Brady’s shoes.

-Back to gaming…I was happy to see that Evolutionary Leap was in the spotlight in Modern. It cycled through an elf deck and Emrakul showed it’s ugly face on turn 2. Effin’ amazing combo deck. This card is a value at $2.50 a piece (at the time of this article), if you get a chance grab a set of them…

-Rumor has it that the villain for the upcoming Batman/Superman flick is Doomsday. Yawn. Was Gorilla Grodd busy? I don’t think this will be the death of Superman but it will be the death of the attention span. Heh. That rhymed. I’m way too proud of myself right now…

That’s it for this edition of Rapid Fire, as always thanks for reading!

The Definitive Top 10: DiceMasters Age of Ultron

(Note: The following is a transcript taken from an interview I did with Ultron, soon to be supreme ruler of the universe.)

Noob of All Trades: Thanks again for doing this. I understand and appreciate that you must be very busy right now attempting to conquer all of existence.

Ultron: Well, I am currently controlling thousands of drones in my war on humanity while doing this interview. Collective conscious, access to infinite time, and the entire history of knowledge helps, but yes, it could be exhausting if I felt exhaustion.

N: I, for one, am a huge fan. With the ever increasing possibility of a Trump presidency, humanity needs a little time out as only you can provide.

U: Thank you. If only more of your kind had that attitude, we could avoid all of the chaos and destruction currently being perpetrated across the planet. Surely, the inevitability of my victory should have led you humans to seek a peaceful resolution as quickly as possible.

N: Well, we can be a stubborn species, as you know. Perhaps you underestimated just how stubborn.

U: Hold your tongue, Flesh Bag. I underestimated nothing. This overreaction fell well within the parameters of the probable outcomes. Granted, it was highly unlikely, but your “heroes” decided to test the issue. Nevertheless, I expect their surrender, or deaths, very soon.

N: First, apologies if I offended you. Now, with the introduction out of the way, let’s get to the point. I asked you to come here to speak your opinion–sorry, give undisputed factual evidence–about the best cards from the Marvel Dice Masters set named for you.

U: Yes, and I couldn’t be more flattered, if in fact flattery had any effect on me, that you did. You meat puppets will need a diversion from your pathetic lives after being utterly defeated and seeing your heroes humiliated. What better way than paying homage to your new master with a game of dice?

N: I am excited to hear what you have to say. I’ve been looking forward to this set for a few months now, and can’t wait to play it against Chris, provided he doesn’t get exterminated by one of your drones.

U: I will be sure to spare him, Human. You seem like a reasonable individual and a potential ally once this is all settled.

N: I’m honored.

U: Now, on to the list. It is generally agreed upon that these are done in a top ten format similar to the ones from David Letterman’s old show, correct?

N: Not that you need affirmation, but I appreciate your willingness to play along. Yes, a top ten list will be fine.

U: Okay, then, without any further delay.

10. Nasty Plot

nasty plot
Decent card for ramp. This is a good back up plan if your opponent likes snaking your Gearing Up action dice and the rules frown upon vaporizing them.

9. Assemble!

assemble
Expensive for an action card. However, teamwork is important (as the drones know and understand) and can net you two characters free in addition to any others you play on the turn. Although, if those cards are Avengers, you can be sure that I will destroy them.

8. Thanos (Infinite)

Thanos
A worthy ally in my quest for dominion over all creation. He can be difficult, but show him you mean business with a few well placed drone attacks and he will join in the fight in due time.

7. Coulson (Man With the Plan)

coulson
Nothing bothers me more about this war (er, game) than the useless dice sitting in my used pile. Allies, even this obnoxious organ sack, that allow you to interact with those dice are okay in my opinion.

6.Ultron Drone(Any)

drone
Never mind that I created them in my own image and that they are, in nearly every way, identical to me. Flood your board with my creation and watch your opponents fall under their might.

5.Kang(The Conqueror)

kang
Although I can calculate all probable outcomes to any scenario, it is nice to be able to manipulate those outcomes to work more in my favor. He and Scarlet Witch allow me to do just that.

4. Hulk (Gamma Powered)

Hulk
Hulk Smash! Then, Hulk most likely Smash again next turn. I hate Hulk.

3. Groot (We Are Groot)

Groot
This is in a group of cards along with Odin (The All Father), Pepper Potts (Personal Secretary of Tony Stark), and Rocket Raccoon (Weapons Expert) that could make this war quite hell for me and my army of drones. Mind you, we will still emerge victorious, but it’s cute that the “heroes” are trying.

2. Loki’s Scepter (Piercing)

scepter
I told you. We have our own brick walls. Combine this one with Loki (Trickster) and my wonderful wife and you have infinite removal and blocking capabilities. Your move, good guys. Make it worth it.

1. Jocasta: Patterned After Janet

Jocasta
Brick Wall…and a brick house.

U: There you have it, Cattle. My definitive list for the best cards in the Age of Ultron Dice Masters set. Agree? Disagree? I don’t care either way. If it will make you feel better–and it might, even if it is the last thing you do in your mortal life–leave a comment on cards I might have (but most likely did not) missed.

Geeks Unite!

(Editor’s Note: Are you or do you know someone who identifies as a nerd, gamer, geek, dork, dweeb, or freak? If so, this is the place for you. Come on in and make yourself comfortable)

Non-tenured adjunct professor? Sounds like you're almost as important as the assistant to the regional manager.
Non-tenured adjunct professor? Sounds like you’re almost as important as the assistant to the regional manager.

As I’ve mentioned more than once, I’m a teacher. Technically, right now, I am a non-tenured adjunct professor at two community colleges. Who cares about titles, though, right? If this article is your introduction to the page, welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay. Either way, the point is that underneath the sometimes gamer rage filled geek persona is a possibly respectable adult with a respectable job, a loving family, and all of the sitcom style hilarity that ensues.

You hear that Hollywood? My life is a movie or TV show waiting to happen.
You hear that Hollywood? My life is a movie or TV show waiting to happen.

Two weeks ago we were supposed to take a field trip with our classes. Never mind the comments that I got from friends and family about how weird field trips in college sound and what a waste of time the class was. Maybe I will talk more about those on my soon to be web page, “1 Middle Aged Guy Seeks Therapy”. The trip and the class aren’t ultimately important to the story. I am using a writing technique known as “setting the stage”.

Well, the field trip never happened to due a miscommunication. Due to no adequate back up plan on my part, we ended up wasting our time watching Gravity. Decent movie, by the way, if you’re perpetually behind the times in pop culture, like I am.

A movie based entirely on the premise of "what else can go wrong?"
A movie based entirely on the premise of “what else can go wrong?”

Waiting an hour and a half for a bus that ultimately will never show gives you ample time for idle conversation. Bus and train stops (and the vehicles themselves), airports, and even elevators (if you’re brave enough to say “Hi” instead of staring straight ahead trying to pretend that there isn’t other people in there until it arrives at your stop) are all weirdly intimate. People will not only talk. They will often share surprisingly intimate details of their lives with you. The internet has had a similar effect on many people.

Hell, this guy told anyone who would listen about his dead friend in the war, his mom sleeping with strangers to pay the mortgage, his dead girlfriend and wife, and every other damn thing.
Hell, this guy told anyone who would listen about his dead friend in the war, his mom sleeping with strangers to pay the mortgage, his dead girlfriend and wife, and every other damn thing.

As we waited, I learned quite a bit about both my students and the students in the class being run concurrent to ours. They also learned some things about me. The conversation that led to much of this discovery started with an innocent observation and question. I noticed that one of the students from the other class was wearing a shirt with the design below.

&

 

If you are like me and you spend your formative teenage years in basements rolling dice instead of joints, you recognize that ampersand immediately. It took some courage to ask the obvious question. While wearing a D&D T-shirt is more an admission of your status, some people want to keep such topics secret in mixed company. I ultimately decided to just put it out there and deal with the consequences.

“Do you play?” I pointed at the shirt.

“I do.” The student responded.

We then went on to discuss Roll 20 because that was her preferred method to play the game. I replied that a friend and I tried to get a game going through the site, but it fell apart. She plays Roll 20 mostly because the local play groups (that I’ve considered joining) are not very open to new members. What did I say? Some geeks are just very protective of their culture. We may have ultimately won the war, but those battle wounds from wedgies and swirlies run deep.

We discussed World of Warcraft briefly. We both came to the conclusion that 5 million others have. Fifteen dollars a month isn’t much, but it is more than we are willing to pay grinding the same content with different skins over and over again. During this part of the conversation, one of my own students interjected with, “You game? I never expected that.”

That, folks, as I often feel the need to explain, is the point of the article. People who play games are all around us. Geek culture has infiltrated pop culture to such a degree that the two are virtually indistinguishable. However, the willingness to admit that you play games or read comics in mixed company is still low. As I said, the scars of the past run deep.

I'm not sure why we're so skittish about our passions.  Hell, we even got this guy on our side now.
I’m not sure why we’re so skittish about our passions. Hell, we even got this guy on our side now.

Nevertheless, as we talked about on the most recent podcast, we are the first generation to grow up with video game and, to an extent, games like D&D. Previous generations mostly only had comic books as their escape (and later D&D) if they didn’t quite fit the mold. Some parents and teachersdid a good job of branding both comic books and RPGs as only for kids or otherwise unsuitable for polite society. The same was almost done for video games. Thankfully, video games came of age at a time when the internet was gaining popularity. Geeks that once suffered in silence alone or in their small circle of friends could now congregate and battle as a team. It may have been this development that also saved comics and led to the explosion of comic themed pop culture we see today.

Don't you see now, Dave?  We make the perfect team.
Don’t you see now, Dave? We make the perfect team. We are meant for each other. I dare say, “I love you.”

Why, then, do we find ourselves still unwilling to admit our enjoyment of these things? Sure, some people look down on them as diversions or a complete waste of time. Nerds and geeks are shunned from some groups and jokes of social awkwardness are widely accepted. I actually don’t mind the jokes much. Some of them are even funny and are the basis of a once upon a time very funny TV show. I haven’t checked in lately, but I hear that its not the same, which is to be expected after so many years.

What I’m trying to say is that we’re everywhere. You never know when or where you will meet another comic fan, Magic player, Twitch chat user (actually, they are easy to spot, especially Hearthstone viewers, by their casual use of words like “Kappa” in every day conversation), XBox or Playstation owner, WoW addict, or other kindred spirit. We are Legion. We are many.

Then again, perhaps that's not the best quote to represent us.
Then again, perhaps that’s not the best quote to identify us.

Fly your geek flag high and proud.

Yeah, that's better.
Yeah, that’s better.

Rapid Fire: Random Thoughts Vol.1

-To all of the players still finger-wagging at Pascal Maynard for taking the foil Tarmogoyf in the Top 8 GP draft. I can see the green in your eyes from here. You would have done the same thing, you’re pissed that pack didn’t end up in your hands.

-It’s a good time to be a gamer..Dice Masters:Age of Ultron, Dice Masters: War of Light, Heroclix: Nick Fury, agent of Shield and MTG: Battle of Zendikar all in a 90 day period.

-To all of the players who screamed in unison at Wizards announcing that there wouldn’t be any enemy fetchlands in Zendikar: Creativity is better than reprinting and recycling. With that said, I’m fairly certain they will be reprinted at some point soon. Nothing is safe.
My apologies to the guy/gal who’s holding 5 Scalding Tarns…also, you need to sell those puppies now.

-MTG Origins in a word: Disappointing.

-Dice Masters: Age of Ultron in two words: Eff Yeah. (I’m well aware “eff” isn’t a word..Shawn’s kids read these articles too you know.)

-Mono Red,
Please go
away.

Sincerely,
Actual Strategy

-My Heroclix booster pack good luck streak continues. One pack of Avengers Assemble. One chase. Granted, it’s the mediocre one of the bunch, Giant Man,but still a chase. Too bad it was mispainted with his entire face being red instead of just his mask. Where’s quality control when you need it?

– Speaking of quality control..

Hey Wizkids,
Could you please find a solution to the warped card issue that plagues the gravity feeds? Great game, great price point, but gets a little annoying when you pull a rare card that looks like it’s been living in the spokes of a bike. My nerd cave is starting to look like a damn library from all of the books being used to flatten them out.

– Who else is as stoked as I am about the new Zendikar set once you saw the new Eldrazi, Oblivion Sower? 6 colorless for a 5/8 that can
give you an instant ramp by stealing your opponent’s land! Almost makes me want to buy the dual decks, Eldrazi vs Zendikar, just to get my hands on one. Ah, Eldrazi, how I missed you..

– I really need to find a better piece of armor for my D3 character’s noggin..tired of running around wearing Leoric’s Crown. I look like
the goddamn burger king. I can’t strike fear into the hearts of demons when my character looks like he should be trying to sell them *****ing Whoppers.

– While we are on the subject of D3; Nothing worse than stumbling upon a piece of legendary equipment that isn’t meant for your character.

– Anyone else completely underwhelmed with “A Million Ways to Die in the West”? Just watched it a few days ago. I had been looking forward to seeing it and even bought the blu ray. I knew that since it was produced/written/directed by Seth McFarlane it would be fairly low-brow humor, but this was just corny d***/fart jokes. Also, I
like to curse as much as the next guy (probably more actually) but it felt forced in the movie..almost like the scene had no joke written in so the main character swears constantly for no reason. I also noticed that he gave himself all of the monologues in the movie, also the funny(?)lines. Plus, the ending was crap.

– I had free time yesterday so I picked up the Marvel Civil War tpb. I forgot what a great story it was..until I got to the end. Amazing story, disappointing anti-climatic ending.

Blond’s Dice Masters Age of Ultron Top 10

I know that I’m a little behind the times as the A.o.U set released a few weeks ago but despite that oversight (I blame work and non-nerd life), I wanted to share the top 10 cards that stood out to me as being useful in all formats:

10. Jocasta: Patterned After Janet: A super rare but her ability to do direct damage once per turn when she is first hit is brutal..and she is relatively cheap to buy (in the game, not in real life) at 4 energy. Her defense stat also makes her tough to take out so it’s almost guaranteed that your opponent will feel the burn.

9. Giant Man: Dr. Henry Pym: <gasp> a common!? Yes, a common..no special ability..just an incredible good value at 3 energy with the potential to field a 7/7 beast in the early game.

8. Magneto: Magnetic Monster: I know, I know, it’s a chase, which means that it’s incredibly difficult to pull/ afford one. I just really like the control ability he possesses though. He shuts down all enemy characters’ abilities if the character costs 3 or less. Screw those rush decks! Good ol’ control at it’s finest! Also, he doesn’t allow Professor X to be fielded so there goes those ramp teams too. His only downside is that he costs 6 energy to buy.

7. Loki’s Scepter: Piercing: It’s removal, plain and simple. Opponent’s character hits you. No damage done. Said character is KO’d. ‘Nuff said.

6. Rocket Racoon: Blam! I Murdered You!: His ability to pump up his attack by 2 when he attacks with another character makes him a great choice when it comes to a rush deck. Definitely worth his cost of 3 energy.

5. Beast: Bouncing Blue Beast: He has a low buy cost (2F), a low field cost, and has decent stats that make him a solid addition to any aggro team. However, the real value is his ability to give you 2 life whenever he is knocked out. Life-gain isn’t as common in Dice Masters as other games so this guy is a must-have.

4. Groot: We Are Groot: I tried to avoid putting too many super rares on this list but this guy is just really that good. He gives all of your fielded characters +3D, which obviously gives you an advantage as suddenly your characters just don’t want to go away. Put him on a bolt/direct damage team, pump up your characters and go straight to face while your opponent struggles to get through your blockers.

3. Loki: Trickster God: Speaking of direct damage, this guy’s ability is just plain nasty. When he is fielded you can roll an enemy die and he does damage to any target equal to the number of energy symbols or field cost rolled. His normal attack isn’t anything really significant but his defense values are pretty high which makes him tough to KO.

2. Phil Coulson: Man with the Plan: His combat stats are nothing to write home about but his ability to let you pay 1 energy to field a sidekick from your used pile is pretty damn cool. No longer do you have to worry about re-rolling that sidekick..roll it, buy yourself something nice, you can just field it anyways with this guy. I think he will have a home with rush teams as he allows you to flood the board.

1. Wasp: Founding Avenger: What’s the worse part of globals? Especially Professor X’s global? The fact that your opponent can use them too! Now with Wasp, they get stung for using any global ability (see what I did there? Wasp..stung…ah nevermind). I think she will see a lot of play since she only costs 3 energy which means that she can be utilized at the beginning of the game.

 

There you have it! Drop us a comment below and let us know what your favorite cards are from A.o.U. As always, thanks for reading!

A Casual Conflict

 

Nalaar

As Shawn already pointed out in his post “Making Friends” we recently had the chance to partake in a sealed tournament at a friend’s house. This would be my first game against someone other than Shawn in a couple of years so I was a bit nervous. What if I didn’t play well? What if I just get completely blown out of the tournament in the first round? Regardless, I cast my doubts aside and decided that I was in. After working out the details with our host, I texted Shawn unsure as to what his reaction would be. I knew he had sworn off Origins like I had (of course, I had bought a box a week after swearing it off…I’m a weak, weak man..), but on the flip side he was tearing it up on the online sealed scene. Like the trooper he is, he agreed to participate. I was relieved, both members of 2 Guys Gaming would be there, we couldn’t both do poorly, right? Let me stop here, I’m not going to rehash what Shawn has already told you about the tournament. Instead I’m going to focus on the casual games that we played before the tournament started. Ok, OK, here’s the quick recap of the tournament: I didn’t win a game. I drafted a Red and Blue token/control deck that didn’t perform well. The first game was a complete disaster for me, I think I did 6 or 7 damage to my opponent, the second game was much closer but I still drank the sweet, sweet nectar of defeat. Back to the casual games…

Once we arrived and got settled in, our new-found Magic buddy wanted to know if we wanted to play a couple of friendly games before the other players arrived. Shawn had forgotten his decks, so I picked 3 of my best for both of us to use. I had a pretty mean RG Aggro, a Naya deck that I had brewed a week beforehand, and my monoblack devotion. Seems like a brutal trio for a casual game or two but I know what my friend was packing for a collection. He has the best of the best as far as Modern staples goes, plus he plays regularly in tourneys so I had a suspicion that he wasn’t going to take it easy on us.

Game 1

I decided that I was going to come out guns blazin’ and use my RG Aggro. He also decided on RG Aggro. I laughed to myself..my deck had squashed all my other aggro decks so this should be easy. It actually WAS easy but for him not me. I flooded and he mercilessly dominated me with some well-timed Ball Lightnings, Burning Tree Emissary, and a couple of Boggart Ram Gangs. The game was over before I knew it. He had attempted to overkill me, but I decided to do the math for him and just scooped. I don’t agree with overkill even in a competitive setting so I wasn’t going to sit there and watch my opponent work out a bunch of combos to do the most damage possible in a casual game. 0-1

Game 2

Rematch! RG vs RG Part Deux! I managed to put up a better fight this game but alas, it wasn’t going to happen for me. His RG was light years ahead of mine. He pulled off some ramp and cast a card that basically let him put a handful of creatures into play at once. I managed to hold out for a couple of turns but the writing was on the wall. 0-2

At this point I just wanted to take a break, Shawn stepped up to the plate and chose my Naya deck. Our friend chose his Red Blue Storm deck and won on the 2nd turn with an infinite combo. At which point I made a smart-ass comment that I was watching an actual game to the left of me (two of the other tournament participants had shown up and decided to play Tiny Leaders). Attempted overkill and then an infinite combo kill doesn’t seem to casual to me but I chose to be optimistic and figured that he just wanted to show off his nifty decks. Shawn, not going to take the storming laying down, played again, this time against a Rat deck, which was a pretty cool deck. The Rat deck won, but this time I could see the improvement in Shawn’s game. It was interesting; even though I had built the Naya deck, he was already getting comfortable with it after only one game. Even during the game we were talking about ways to improve the deck going forward, namely some instant removal, dumping the Flame Slashes, and getting faster mana. They decided to play a third game as the last participant for the sealed games was running late. Naya vs Mono Red. This time Shawn knew exactly how the deck worked, made all of the right plays in order to survive a barrage of Ball Lightnings and Lightning bolts, and walked away with a hard fought “W”.

At this point the tournament took place. As I was blown out faster than anyone else, our host asked if I wanted to do another casual game while the other matches were finishing up.

Game 3

I was tempted to be stubborn and try my RG yet again but I knew the only way I was going to win a game would be to establish board control. I had to keep him from ramping up, especially considering that for this game he was using a Modern Goblin deck. My black devotion deck is incredibly good at keeping the other side of the board clean since it’s jam-packed with removal spells. I went with it. We played. I lost again. This time the loss wasn’t frustrating..I knew that I could beat his deck, I lost because I flooded and couldn’t get anything going. 0-3

Game 4

This time I didn’t flood..my deck worked the way I wanted it to. Every time he played a Goblin that pumped up or created more Goblins, I removed it right away. I played plenty of creatures with deathtouch in an effort to force him to trade off with me and keep his Goblins from multiplying. My strategy worked, and I dropped Obnixis the Fallen, triggering the devotion of Erebos, God of the Dead, turning Erebos into a creature and I swung in for the win. 1-3

 

Yup. 1 win, 3 losses. I know, not impressive at all. After it was all said and done, I can admit that I had fun, which is all that matters..even during the losses it was interesting. I learned a lot about the decks that I had once considered my best. More importantly I found out that if I really want to see how to improve a deck, let someone else pilot it. The change of perspective makes it much easier to see where improvements can be made. All in all, it was a good night and it re-lit the Magic fire that had gone out recently. I rebuilt the 3 decks that I brought with me, and also brainstormed some new deck ideas. Just to get the fire back, if even for a short time, made the entire event worth it. I’m looking forward to playing our friend again and seeing how my newly built decks fare..maybe 3-1 next time? A guy can dream…

 

*In case your curious, I did okay with my Origins box that I mentioned in the first paragraph..a Goblin Piledriver, an Abbot of Keral Keep, Hangarback Walker, and the Gideon flip Planeswalker.