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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 15 Preview

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Introduction (Holiday Edition Part 1)

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 15. Yes, I wrote holiday in the title. Please, please, boycott my page. Boycotts of “holiday” themed things seem to make them go viral. Given how work is going I would love a little bit of monetization from this page. So, bring on the boycott.

Last week’s page was a bit hit or miss. Because I didn’t plan properly, it was mostly miss. So, live and learn. In spite of my slightly passive aggressive earlier paragraph, I do love the Christmas season. I always have. This year I was able to get Christine on board, but we lost Liam a bit because of a decision to get a fake tree. Oh well, can’t please them all. Real tree folks, boycott us, too!

This week, I will try to come up with a Christmas movie that reminds me of the of the game in question. Again, this isn’t terrible well thought out. So, it might fail spectacularly. We are nothing if not resilient around here. Let’s preview 2019 NFL Week 15

Almost Classics

Miami at New York Giants – “Earnest Saves Christmas”. The two teams will somehow bungle their way to a heartwarming finish.

Jacksonville at Las Vegas (In London?) – “Klaus” Two teams that have no business playing football in this country represented by a “foreign” movie that suspiciously sounds American.

New England at Cincinnati – “Rudolph” A game that will be watched by a ton of people for some reason, but I have no interest whatsoever. Rudolph fans, boycott us!

Philadelphia at Washington – “Frosty the Snowman” Slightly annoying and a bit too long, do we really have to do this game twice a year?

Cleveland at Arizona – “Noelle” Similar to Noelle, I just discovered a love for Cleveland’s and Arizona’s quarterbacks. Also, similar to Noelle, I expect this game to be surprisingly fun and to be left wanting more.

New Classics

Tampa Bay at Detroit – “The Santa Clause” I feel safe in ignoring this game for large portions in the same what that I can ignore the movie without missing major plot points.

Minnesota at Los Angeles Chargers “Home Alone” See the previous paragraph. Also, if the game goes like I think it might, the Vikings are going to beat up the Chargers like Kevin did the burglers.

Indianapolis at New Orleans – “The Grinch (the new animated one)” Both of these teams make be grumpy for very different, but ultimately the same, reasons. They have just been really whiny this year. Kinda like the Grinch.

Seattle at Carolina – “Polar Express” I’ve had a tough time matching this one to a proper movie. Polar Express works because like the movie, I tend to forget that the Seattle football team exists.

Classics

Chicago at Green Bay – “Peanuts Christmas” For some reason, like Frosty, we have to do this game twice a year. Likewise, for some reason, we watch this movie every single year.

Atlanta at San Francisco – “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” This year, Atlanta is the douche neighbors and San Francisco is the Griswolds constantly sticking it to them.

Denver at Kansas City – “The Grinch (old animated one)” Patrick Mahomes is Cindy Lou Who constantly keeping me entertained and interested in the NFL in spite of my growing disinterest.

Buffalo at Pittsburgh – “Christmas Story” The Steelers have made me say “Oh fudge” more than once. Meanwhile, Buffalo has been a nice surprise this year, a la the BB gun at the end.

The Best

Houston at Tennessee – “Scrooged” This one almost hurts. I couldn’t justify any other game as this one is a fight for first place. But, Scrooged holds a special place in my heart and I’ve often said that we could eliminate the two southern divisions with no consequence. Oh well, can’t win em all.

The Verdict

While I’d not call this a complete success, it definitely went better than last week. Like I say, live and learn. There are still things to improve, but I have a couple of weeks this year and all of next year to try to figure it out. As always, thanks for joining us for 2019 NFL Week 15 and we’ll see you next week for Holiday Edition Part 2.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 14 Preview

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Introduction

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 14. The only football I watched last week was the Bills handing it to the Cowboys and I kept a close eye on the Patriots getting manhandled by a subpar Houston Texans team. That gives me some hope for this year. The Patriots have trouble with mobile quarterbacks and right now that’s pretty much all that the AFC has to offer. Either Houston, Baltimore, or KC if Mahomes is 100% will absolutely destroy the Pats in the playoffs this year. Happy birthday to me?

A few weeks ago, I decided to do away with the picks for this particular column. Instead, I’ve decided to do something slightly different with my previews. First it was what you should watch instead of each game, then in keeping with the sentiment, what each game made me thankful for. This week, inspired by a single such stat, I’m going to come up with a weird stat/fact for each game. So, without anymore fanfare, on with 2019 NFL Week 14.

Toilet Bowls

Miami at New York Jets – Fun Fact: Miami could have been the first team with a winless and undefeated regular season. They screwed that up by winning a couple of weeks ago and now it looks like they might actually be trying.

Cincinnati at Cleveland – Fun Fact: The rivers in Ohio and Pennsylvania used to be so polluted that they would catch on fire. I have no idea what about this game made me think about that particular fact.

Washington at Green Bay – Fun Fact: Follow the link for the Wikipedia page for the top 50 wealthiest senators. Consider that at least 50% (and the list stops at 8.6 million or something) of senators are millionaires. Now, consider that they are supposed to be your representatives. Someone worth over 100 million dollars surely understands and legislates on behalf of the struggle to pay my water bill on time.

New York Giants at Philadelphia – Fun Fact: I just ran the ESPN Playoff simulator because I noticed that all of the teams in this division could finish 6-10. In that case, I was hoping that the Giants, at 2-10 could run the table and win the division. Unfortunately, Dallas would win. But a 6-10 division winner would go a long way to exposing this farce of a league, so let’s hope for the worst.

Tennessee at Vegas – Fun Fact: I know that the Raiders don’t play in Vegas yet. But, they might as well. Would anyone in Oakland, Los Angeles, or London miss them if they moved today?

Indianapolis at Tampa Bay – Fun Fact: Jameis Winston is quite possibly the best bad quarterback or the worst good quarterback in the league. Either way, the NFL is so desperate for QBs that he will most certainly make 100s of millions of dollars this offseason. Think about that the next time you cash a paycheck.

If they’re on, you’ll watch

Los Angeles Chargers at Jacksonville – Fun Fact? Speaking of teams living where they don’t belong and aren’t wanted, the Chargers are the kid who was granted to the father. The father is having a midlife crisis. He moves in with a younger girlfriend. She doesn’t respect him. She just wants his money. But, he stays because he also thinks it impresses his friends. It doesn’t.

Denver at Houston – Fun Fact: Denver is the Mile High City. Denver is in Colorado. Colorado was one of the first states to legalize weed. That’s the set up. You can fill in the punchline.

Detroit at Minnesota – Fun Fact: Barry Sanders was a featured guest on the Detroit Thanksgiving Day game. Frank Gore recently passed him on the all time list. Never mind how surprised I am that Frank Gore is still playing. It took him 222 games to get there. Sanders did it in 153. Simply amazing.

Carolina at Atlanta – Fun Fact: I don’t even know who Carolina’s quarterback is at this point. Oh, okay. I just looked it up and now I understand the “Allen #2” reference on Simmons and Sal. I guess you do learn something new every day.

Now You’re Interested

Pittsburgh at Arizona – Fun Fact: Once upon a time the Steelers and the Cardinals had to merge teams. I don’t remember the exact circumstances. However, as a sometimes Steelers fan, I wouldn’t mind doing so this year just to have Kyler Murray.

Seattle at Los Angeles Rams – Fun Fact: Once upon a time, I was talking to a friend and he said something about Seattle’s football team. I looked at him, in all earnestness, and said, “Seattle has a football team?” It isn’t that bad, but I’m much more invested in the Sounders than the Seahawks.

Kansas City at New England – Fun Fact: Chris is a New England fan. You’d think that with my “Eff the Pats” routine, there might be some friction. However, he’s a genuine fan. Not a “you hate us if you ain’t us” guy. So, we get along. Also, he texted me, without prompting, “KC will destroy NE.” I didn’t agree 100%, but it would be nice to throw Pats nation into a panic with 2 losses in a row.

San Francisco at New Orleans: Fun Fact: Chris and I both have either San Fran or Seattle in the Super Bowl this year against Baltimore. I think we are both leaning harder to Seattle, but either team would be fun. Just as long as it isn’t the Pats. Eff the Pats.

Game of the Week

Baltimore at Buffalo – Fun Fact: This is the only fact that I actually came into this article with an idea of what to write. Hopefully it is was worth the wait. Buffalo, in second place, currently has a better record than half of the division leaders. That second place makes them a 5th seed in the AFC. Tell me more about how the NFL is America’s favorite because it’s a meritocracy.

The Verdict

2019 NFL Week 14 isn’t too bad, actually. I’m all in on both the Bills/Ravens and SF/NO. It will be fun to see if KC really can effectively end the Pats season. Pittsburgh and Arizona will hopefully extend the farce that is the Steelers for this season. The rest of the games are the usual poop fest that the NFL has become.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 13 Preview

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Introduction

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 13. Last week I tried something different with my preview. Instead of picking the games, I picked something that I’d rather watch instead of each of the games. I’m not sure how well it reads, but I like the concept, so I will expand on it and try to figure out how to make it work better for the rest of this season and next.

I do know that it would get boring to continually read about my plans to watch things other than football games. Therefore, and because it is Thanksgiving week in the NFL, I will discuss the things that I’m thankful for because of the games. Again, who knows how it will read, but I’m nothing if not persistent.

Also, there is another new category for this week. It is a special one that will only happen during this week in the season. I don’t use the word necessarily as a judgement (even though the games are pretty terrible this year). I just like that we can use “turkey” in so many contexts. Yay for English!

Finally, I have replaced the heading names with more gastronomic terms. Sorry in advance. It’s just all these games are crap. Now, on to 2019 NFL Week 13!

The Turkeys

Chicago at Detroit– You may think there’s not much to be thankful about this game. You’d be right. But, given my history with the Bears defense and fantasy football, I guess I’m thankful that I don’t have to pay attention to any of these games because I’m not in a league.

Buffalo at Dallas – This game makes me thankful for Thanksgiving dinner. By the time this game rolls around, I’m in a gluttony induced state of immobility on the couch. Lying in front of a fire and thinking about leftovers.

Atlanta at New Orleans – Simmons and Sal said that this game happened last year, too, on Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for our crack research team here at 2 Generations Gaming that has been able to confirm that, in fact, this game happened at the exact same time last year. Whoever’s running this simulation is getting lazy.

The Sewer

Washington at Carolina – What is there to be thankful for here? The racist nickname? Oh, we went to South Carolina last summer and that was an amazing trip that our kids still talk about. Oh, and we stopped in DC and had great ramen for dinner.

New York Jets at Cincinnati – I had a difficult time ranking these games from most to least objectionable. They are all terrible. I’m thankful that I don’t have to travel to work on this game. Those poor people. All they wanted was a job in show business and this is their reward.

Tennessee at Indianapolis – I swear to God this game is on the schedule every week. I’m thankful for the South divisions. I know that sounds weird after I called for their abolition last week. But, at least the fact that this game happens once a week reaffirms that we are living in a simulation.

Los Angeles Rams at Arizona – I’m thankful for Kyler Murray. Thanks to him, Lamar Jackson, and Patrick Mahomes, the NFL might start to become slightly less conservative and more fun to watch.

Toilet Bowls

Green Bay at New York Giants – I’m thankful for snow in November. I know the game is in New York and I don’t think that there is snow in the forecast, but Green Bay always makes me think of snow. Wasn’t this the Ice Bowl? At least Green Bay was there.

Philadelphia at Miami – I’m thankful that Miami has a nice climate (for now until it sinks into the ocean because of climate change), so that it takes their minds off of their terrible football team. Their city sinking into the ocean would do that too, I imagine. So, it’s all aces in southern Florida

Tampa Bay at Jacksonville – Once upon a time, Christine and I were planning to move to Tampa Bay. More accurately, it was St Petersburg. Either way, I’m thankful we didn’t. I don’t know if I’d make a proper Florida man.

Cleveland at Pittsburgh – I’m thankful for my family and friends back in Pennsylvania. I’ve often said that I never felt at home until I got to Massachusetts. I know that might sound rude towards them, but I mean no disrespect to them. I wish they could all move up here.

The Bowels

Minnesota at Seattle – I’m thankful that the Sounders won the MLS Cup this year. I became a huge fan of MLS this year and for my favorite team to win the cup was pretty amazing. Add to it, Liverpool is 8 points clear in the lead. It’s a great year for real football.

New England at Houston – I’m thankful that I have more or less been able to avoid Patriots fans this year. Sure, they are 10-1, but the Golden Boy has been less than stellar. Plus, there are rumors that he’s going to leave at the end of the year. Pats fans aren’t sure what to do with that so they’ve been mostly quiet. Hope the Ravens destroy them in the playoffs and really drive that stake in.

Las Vegas at Kansas City – I’m thankful for Cousin Sal. He is the only reason that I even listen to Simmons podcast every week and most weeks I enjoy Sal’s podcast even more. Also, Patrick Mahomes. I don’t want him to get jealous of my Lamar Jackson man crush.

The Stomach (Game of the Week)

San Francisco at Baltimore – I’m thankful for Chris. He’s trying his hardest to keep me invested in the NFL in spite of my increased disinterest in the league. This week, he used the ol’ Lamar Jackson trick. He knows exactly what to say. <3

The Verdict

2019 NFL Week 13 is a stinker. It isn’t as bad as some weeks and I will actually end up watching some football through my eyelids after eating too much turkey. However, I doubt that I’ll see any of the weekend games. Have a great Thanksgiving weekend, all, and hope to see you next week for some Pokemon talk.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Marvel Comics November 2019 Review

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Introduction

Marvel Comics November 2019 saw a downturn in both quantity and quality. There are only two books anymore that consistently get a “great” rating and I actually gave my first Immortal Hulk book a “good” rating. Plus, my DCBS order was under 80 dollars for the first time. I know that Chris and I are doom and gloom. However, I think that this really might be the beginning of the end for comics.

I mean, like a stopped Nostradamus, we have to be right one of these times. Let’s look at the evidence. Comics have been in a slump since the 1990s. There have been some fake outs that have looked like actual comebacks. Those have just turned out to be mirages.

Marvel movies that didn’t suck came along. They started to take on more of the personality and narrative style of the comics. Disney bought them and mass produced the films at a breakneck speed. They are now being downloaded into people’s brains through Disney Plus. Who wants to pay 5 bucks a book when you can get unlimited comic book entertainment for 7 bucks a month? So, who’s hyped for some comic reviews?

The Forgettable

I think I started this section last month. I’m not entirely sure. All I know is that I have no use for The Punisher now or in the near future. Unless I hear otherwise, let’s just assume that I’m collecting The Punisher because I’ve forgotten to remove it from my pull list.

The Decent

Where is this story going?

Captain America 15 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Jason Masters) – I was excited to see the Daughters of Liberty in the last issue. They are back in this one. But, I have to be honest. I only skimmed this issue. It feels like the narrative is being lost a bit.

Thank goodness this story is done.

Avengers 25 (Jason Aaron and Stefano Caselli) – I didn’t enjoy this story at all. However, the book is still fun and I like Aaron’s take on the Avengers. The message about family at the end made me say, “Awww”. Also, I wrote something about getting back on track, so the last reveal must have been something. I just don’t remember what.

No longer a misnomer

Doctor Strange 19 and 20 (Mark Waid and Jesus Saiz) – I used to get nerd cred for being a Doctor Strange fan. He was one of the second or third tier heroes, but he was always one of my favorites. Then Benjamin Cucumber came along and made him the true MVP of the Marvel cinema universe. None of that is relevant to these books necessarily. I mean, it’s cool that the doc is a doc again, but they’re relaunching as a new title. Speaking of forgetting to update my pull list…

The Good

This book is getting very good.

Fantastic Four 15 (Dan Slott and Paco Medina) – I’m loving the retro feel of this book. I like that it reads very much like the original Marvel comics. Like Spidey, the retro feel is heartwarming. I didn’t know who the hell the new people were, but it was a nice way of telling a fun story. Keep it up.

Gonna go back in time…to go forward in time…

Amazing Spider-Man 32 (Nick Spencer and Patrick Gleason) – I got very excited to see the ad earlier in the year for the new 2099. I know now that it is just a miniseries that is also interspersed among a couple of other titles. That’s probably for the best, but it does leave me wanting more. This serves as a nice intro to the 2099 story and I can’t wait for the rest of it.

Even when it isn’t as good, it’s still good.

Immortal Hulk 24 (Al Ewing et al) – I gave this one a “kind of me” initially. They’re back in hell with Bruce’s dad, which is my least favorite storyline in the book right now. But, the hulks are merging and the end was pretty awesome. Long live Worldbreaker.

The Great

The kids asked what Spidey was doing to Sandman? Not quite, kids….

Amazing Spider-Man 31 (Nick Spencer and Cliff Rathburn) – Chris kept telling me how good Absolute Carnage was, but I never bit. I should have because the tie in issues have been fun. This one focused on Norman and his time as Carnage, reckoning with the past as Spidey had to a couple of issue ago. This new villain is behind all of it, but why is Gwen here again?

Just wow!

Immortal Hulk 25 (Al Ewing et al) – We were promised a Hulk comic unlike any other. That’s for sure. This is Ewing’s take on the Worldbreaker mythos and it was just awesome to read. The big reveal of Leader at the end was a nice touch, too. I love this comic.

The Verdict

I suppose I was too harsh on Marvel Comics November 2019. Sure, there weren’t many “great” books, but the good ones were just below great. It was a fun month of comics and looking back made me smile more than once. I’m still not sure that the end of comics isn’t extremely f***ing nigh as the sign in 28 Days Later read, but I will continue to enjoy them as long as they are being made. Happy Thanksgiving and I’ll be back on Friday with my DC review.

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 12 Preview

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Note: I think that last week might be the last time I pick games. I’m trying something different for NFL Week 12.

Introduction

We made it to the NFL week 12. 3/4 of the way through the season. The next month or so will probably actually be completely ignorant again. I have been paying some attention to this season because I like the story of some of the newer “good” teams in the league. However, college football bowl season is imminent.

Granted, the Tua injury has me obviously distraught. However, there are some “new” teams in the mix there, too. Besides, watching 60 plus terrible college football games in a month is far more appealing to me than anything the NFL has to offer right now. Speaking of the NFL, I’ve added a new category to the article. The Sewer – these are for the games that I’ve flushed down the toilet bowl.

The Sewer

Detroit at Washington – I know I sound like a broken record, but the Washington mascot is racist. There’s no way around it. This is our nation’s capital and the football team mascot is a racist caricature of a group of people that were systematically executed by our government. Merica! What to watch instead – Speaking of DC, get caught up on the impeachment inquiry. I hear there was some spicy testimony!

Jacksonville at Tennessee – Seriously, is there a reason that the AFC South exists? I know that there are 32 teams and that divides evenly into 8 divisions of 4 teams. However, this might be the only time that I argue against math. Let’s just abolish the South divisions. They only care about college football anyway. Maybe they can become part of a new relegation system in the NFL. What to watch instead – I saw that ESPN was showing old SEC games from a couple of years ago. Much better football.

Las Vegas at New York Jets – That’s right folks, the Las Vegas Raiders. Have they moved yet? Are they ever? At this point, I’m ready to just yeet them and Jacksonville over to London where they can play an entire schedule just between the two of them. What to watch instead – Speaking of London, Sheffield and Man U are playing this afternoon for 8th place in the Premier League.

Toilet Bowls

Miami at Cleveland – Remember at the beginning of the year when everyone thought that Cleveland was going to be the belles of the NFL this year? I mean, I wasn’t one of them, but can you imagine their embarrassment now. They might be so angry that they’d place the Browns low on a ranking system of games every week. What to watch instead – Baseball season ended about a month ago, so remind yourself how much you love that sport with some Major League.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta – Remember what I was saying earlier about the South divisions? This is yet another reminder of the horrors unleashed upon the world because of that NFL math that brought this into existence. What to watch instead – If you really want to watch the story of a creation run amok to destroy a countryside, read Frankenstein.

New York Giants at Chicago – Much of my understanding of the NFL for the last few years comes as a result of various fantasy football leagues. A few years ago, I rode Blake Bortles to a title and last year, I stole the Bears defense to win the regular season champion. Both times, I wasn’t invited back to the league. If only I could translate that success into money via daily fantasy. What to watch instead – Maybe I will check out one of the thousands of daily fantasy websites that have cropped up as a result of a broken capitalism.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati – I’ve spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to think of something to say about this game and I’ve got nothing. Other than this is the epitome of sports today. Two terrible teams playing a meaningless game simply because degenerates are willing to put money on it. What to watch instead – There’s always the Thanksgiving episode of WKRP.

Games that might interest you (but probably shouldn’t)

Carolina at New Orleans – Is this for first place in the NFC South? Who the hell knows because nobody other than the talking heads on ESPN who are getting paid to care even knows the NFC South exists. What to watch instead – A Christmas Story or Grinch will restore faith in a society that allows this abomination to continue to exist.

Denver at Buffalo – I grew up in Erie. Being at the epicenter of Buffalo/Pittsburgh/Cleveland, somehow Buffalo was our team. So, I’m fond of the Bills. What to watch instead – If I’m being honest, I would probably watch this game. Go Bills.

Baltimore at LA Rams – The Rams were in the same bucket as the Browns as preseason favorites. They had a young hotshot coach. A young hotshot QB. Well, those young hotshots are about to get spanked yet again. What to watch instead – Quoth the raven, nevermore. Go outside and enjoy the snow.

Seattle at Philadelphia – I always say that I could probably do what the talking heads on ESPN do. Then again, maybe I couldn’t I have nothing to say about this game, either. Something, something playoff implications. There we go. What to watch instead – Go back and watch the MLS finals from this year. It was a fun game.

Green Bay at San Francisco – Something, something playoff implications. What to watch instead – In keeping with a theme, put on some Christmas music and decorate with the family.

Game of the Week

Dallas at New England – Because I’m becoming known for it, “Eff the Pats”. Seriously, though, this year is exactly why. The Patriots offense is terrible this year, but their defense is just good enough that they are 8-1. What to watch instead – I don’t know about you, but I have to get caught up on comics so that I can post those articles and then play some of the new Pokemon game in preparation for that content.

The Verdict

NFL Week 12 is an awful week of football. The only reason you should be watching any of these games is because you have money on them. Like my dad always said, though, “Don’t ever bet on a game where the ball bounces funny.” What about fantasy football, you say? Well, you’ve seen my history with the game, so what do you think? Thanks for joining me for my NFL week 12 preview and see you next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Spawn 301 Review – Road to 400

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Introduction

After the insanity of 300, is Spawn 301 any good? We made it to 300 and survived. Barely, but here we are on the other side. Is it too early to start the countdown to 400? Well, if it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right. Chris and I have texted a few times over the past few months about how fresh the book still feels after over 20 years under more or less strictly Uncle Todd’s control.

I’m not sure that last sentence is grammatically correct. Or, even proper English. But, it does get to my next point quite nicely. Spawn 300 promises a new beginning for the character. I haven’t read all of the intervening books, but I imagine that after so much time and so many issues, there have been other “new beginnings” for our Hellspawn. I’m pretty sure that Al wasn’t Spawn for a while in the 100s or 200s, but I’m not positive.

What makes this one different is (a) I’m here to witness it and (b) I’m all in for it. I loved the story that they started in 300. 301 picks up where that one leaves off and sets the stage for the future quite nicely. Let’s start that countdown and talk some about Spawn 301.

The Decent (Who is this ninja and JSA’s art is improving)

Who the heck is this ninja? The final pages in both 300 and 301 have told the story of a Ninja or Shinobi (does that just mean ninja?) or Samurai or something. I’m not sure of the official title of the character, but it has been an intriguing little vignette. Can’t wait to see how it fits into the greater story.

Jason Shawn Alexander I’ve been critical of his art for much of his run. I did enjoy the aesthetic for the Dark Horror storyline as it added to the overall creep factor. However, as Chris said, getting to have Greg Capullo back on the title for a limited run has shown just how starkly JSA differs from that. It’s just not the art that I grew up with. With that being said, it’s still not the same, but it has been getting better in these issues. I hope that continues.

The Good (Spawn has an army and that cover is sweet)

That Cover Tho The actual cover of the issue is pretty nice. What makes it more so is in the background is a shadow of the first issue’s cover. I thought that was a nice touch since they seem to be bringing back what makes Spawn great.

The Spawn Army This new Spawn looks an awful like the old Spawn. He’s raiding military installations for the weapons. He’s converting old villains into allies. It’s good that somethings might change, but what’s old is always going to end up being new again eventually.

The Great (Capullo! and the new story!)

Greg Capullo Chris texted me that he was ruined for any other artist on Spawn after seeing Greg Capullo’s art in Spawn 300. While I’m just as much a fan as anyone, I’m going to take the optimists approach on the art as you read earlier. It’s not the exact same, but as long as the story is strong, I will tolerate the art. Still good to see Greg Capullo back on the book I discovered him.

Here for this story I’ve already talked a little bit about how the story is being rebooted (or reimagined (or reinvented( or whatever))) starting with issue 300. Also, as I just insinuated in the last section, it looks an awful lot like the old Spawn. One thing that I wrote here is that it is reminiscent of Buffy, too. I forgot what I meant, but it is just that Spawn sacrificed himself and it looks like he unleashed his power into others similar to how Buffy woke up all the slayers. This is going to be fun.

The Verdict

Just like the other things from my youth that have come back in slightly newer variations, Spawn 300 and Spawn 301 are a welcome and comforting presence in a sometimes scary world. I can’t wait to see how things progress going forward and we only have 99 more issues until #400! See you in 10 years!

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFl Week 10 Picks

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Introduction

Welcome to my 2019 NFL Week 10 picks. I’m not entirely sure how I did last week. I haven’t bothered to check. I suppose that as I’m sitting here writing this article, I could easily open up the article and count. Okay, you’ve guilted me into it. I went 7-6. Still positive money if I bet the games correctly.

Okay, now for this week. I think it was on Sal’s podcast this week that I heard that the games aren’t that great. Maybe he just meant betting wise. Comparatively speaking, I was actually able to find some games that were interesting to me. Maybe the NFL is finally wearing me down into a fan of the league. Let’s not think about that. Let’s just make our 2019 NFL Week 10 picks.

Toilet Bowls (New York, New York)

Miami at Indianapolis – I’m going to steal a joke here. On Hang Up and Listen this week, a former writer from Deadspin made the joke about Miami screwing up and winning or something. Hey, I stole and butchered a joke. But, at least I gave credit! Colt win.

New York Giants at New York Jets? – Or, is the other way around? Does it really matter to anyone outside of New York City? I sure as hell don’t care. New York wins. Your guess is as good as mine.

Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns – With the Pats finally losing a game, that means that the Bills are one game closer to first place in the AFC East. Sure, they won’t win, but it is still fun to dream. Freddy Kitchens is a disaster. I will say that until he is fired. Bills win.

Arizona at Tampa Bay – This game is borderline meh. The kid from Arizona (if only I had the ability to search for his name) has been fun to watch and Tampa Bay is the bipolar hero we all deserve. The game could be entertaining and Bucs win.

If They’re On, I’ll Watch (Ravens, the Ain’ts, and Pack, Oh My!)

Baltimore at Cincinnati – Maybe I should switch this one and the Arizona/TB game. I have no desire to watch this game other than I’m now a Ravens fan after they just effed the Patriots last week. They’ll just keep on rolling.

Atlanta at New Orleans – I think Drew Brees is back in this game. Or, maybe he was back last week. I can’t remember. Either way, Atlanta is awful this year and New Orleans will win.

Carolina at Green Bay – This game is borderline interesting. But, I already had 4 games in that category, so this one got bumped down. It’s also a tough game to pick, but I’ll take Green Bay at home.

Okay, I’m Interested (Mahomes is back (?), y’all!)

Los Angeles Rams at Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh surprised me last week. Maybe they will further surprise me this week. Why do I keep talking about Pittsburgh? I don’t even consider myself a fan of the team anymore. Old habits die hard. Hopefully LA does the same for the Steelers.

Detroit at Chicago – I’m still high on the Bears defense from last year’s fantasy performance. I’m not sure how they’re performing this year, but I’ll be fans of them for at least the forseeable future. I see you, Blake Bortles! Bears win.

Minnesota at Dallas – Dallas started off doing well, then faded, and now seems to be on the upswing. Minnesota has been consistent much of this year. Heck, this might even have game of the week potential. I think Minnesota crushes Dallas, though.

Kansas City at Tennessee – Mahomes is back! (?) I think so. It looked like he was available to pick in daily fantasy at least. Who knows? I hope he is. He’s the only reason I even pay attention to the NFL. If he’s playing, KC wins. If not, a coin flip.

Game of the Week (Who saw this one at the beginning of the year?)

Seattle at San Francisco – San Fran is scary good right now. After the Pats lost, they are the only undefeated team in the league. Seattle doesn’t care about this game right now because the Sounders are in MLS Cup (ha ha, little jokes), but it will still be a fun game. Let’s go 49ers.

The Verdict

Honestly, though, I’m really interested in this week of football. Thanksgiving is coming which means my annual coma of turkey, beer, and football is near. Maybe that’s why my interest is peaking. Hey, it could just be because the Patriots lost and whenever Pats fans are unhappy, I’m happy. Thanks for reading my 2019 NFL Week 10 picks and see you in a week. Oh, next Thursday, Steelers beat the Browns.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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DC Comics October 2019 Review

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Introduction

Welcome, finally, to my DC Comics Review for October 2019. Both life and technology have been working against me recently. Still, I’m not ignoring articles like I used to. It might be a couple of weeks late, but it’s here. Plus, Liam is getting the new Pokemon game this week, so that gives us something to discuss next week.

Finally, I’m pretty excited about the prospect of Pioneer. That’s what I meant by technology. Chris and I were all set to record last week except my phone wasn’t delivering messages for some reason. Nevertheless, I’m going to record something this week to get us to the Pokemon discussion next week. Who knows, maybe doing so will inspire us to actually record more. The goal is still to get to consistent content by the end of the year. Now, let’s get to the DC Comics Review for October 2019 so that I can read November’s books!

The Forgetable (Eff Superman)

Eff Superman…

Superman #14 and 15 (Brian Michael Bendis and Ivan Reis)

There are two books this month that made me finally break out “The Forgettable” category for these reviews. I will discuss the other briefly. All I can say about this one is Eff Superman. Maybe I should elaborate. I’ve never liked Superman as a hero. The only time I ever read the book was during the death story. My brother really likes him for some reason, but I just can’t get into the character.

I gave it a chance when Bendis came and very much enjoyed the Man of Steel lead in series. Ever since then, though, the book has gone back to the same old formula that just isn’t that interesting. I will continue to collect, but until the story gets better, I’ll probably just skim rather than reading.

The Decent (More Bendis and Justice League is on the block)

Time for a change?

Justice League 31 and 32 (Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, Howard Porter)

This book is such a mess right now. I texted Chris about it and he mentioned that he gave up on it a while ago. There are already so many of my books being killed that I don’t want to stop collecting, but this one is definitely on the block right now. I mean, they have Tynion cowriting for the Doom War books, but as Chris said, “Not even he can save it.” There are some good things. I enjoyed the Wonder Woman speech and Aquaman coming in at the end. Otherwise, these issues were just another war for the fate of mankind as Kamandi said in exasperation. Also, Braniac 1 million? Ultra Monitor? Good lord.

More Bendis…

Action Comics #1015 (Brian Michael Bendis and Szymon Kudranski)

Action, for what it is worth, has been worth reading, at least. This issue had some distracting artwork with the lightning border for the initial Naomi panels. Also, the parallels of her story to Superman and Batman were nice to read. Otherwise, again, Bendis isn’t making me enjoy Superman any more.

Detective Comics 1011 (Peter J. Tomasi and Doug Mahnke)

This was a one shot (?) issue about some Japanese soldiers on an island being rescued by Bats from Deadshot. He’s my least favorite villain, so this issue was just okay the end seemed to finally set up for the Mr. Freeze show down that has been teased for the last 3 or 4 issues, so I’m excited about that.

The Good (Aqua, Wonder, and Cats, oh my! Oh, Detective, too)

Love is dead. Not the most subtle of metaphors.

Wonder Woman 78 and 79 (G. Willow Wilson and Tom Derenick)

Cheetah has the God Killer. She’s already used it to off Aphrodite. This means that love is dead. It’s not the most subtle metaphor for what’s happening in real life right now. Then again, maybe I’m just extra sensitive to that sort of thing. I will say that this particular writer is doing a good job with the story and I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

Not as strong as recent issues, but still fun.

Aquaman 52 (Kelly Sue Deconnick and Robson Rocha)

This issue was a bit weaker than some of the recent issues. I even pushed this book into the great column in my last article. Ultimately, this is just a fight issue against a big dumb monster. Most likely, it is a set up issue for the big Mech Black Manta show down coming.

Detective Comics 1012 (Peter J. Tomasi and Doug Mahnke)

Okay, this is more likely. Finally, we get Mr. Freeze. The intro showing the dichotomy of Batman and Mr. Freeze set the mood perfectly. Then, comes a decent set up story explaining what Mr. Freeze is up to and why Batman is getting involved. Spoiler Alert: It has to do with Freeze’s wife. I hope this story continues to pick up.

Ram V is growing on me

Catwoman 15 (Ram V and Mirka Andolfo)

I admit to being salty when Joelle stopped writing the title and I couldn’t get into Ram V’s version of the character. I’m not sure if it getting better or if I’m just getting used to the writing style. Either way, Ram V is starting to grow on me. This story, like the Freeze story in Detective, is gaining steam. Also, this one is building to the Tom King’s upcoming Bats/Cats book, which I’m here for.

The Great (Batman stands alone…as usual. Oops, forgot Justice League Dark)

Justice League Dark 15 (James Tynion IV and Alvaro Martinez Bueno)

Sure, James Tynion IV is working on the main Justice League title. But, you can tell that he is much more in his element on this title. This is another great set up issue where things are just falling apart for our intrepid “heroes”. Swamp Thing has lost his connection to the green. Wonder Woman is lost (?) on her way to the moon to fix magic. How can things possibly get worse? I can’t wait to see.

Batman 78 and 79 (Tom King and Clay Mann)

Tom King pissed off a lot of people with Batman 50. That’s been discussed here and elswhere. But, come on, that was at least a year ago now. How long are we going to stay pissed off? Okay, before City of Bane, things were slow, too, but there has to be some set up. Yes, I’m an unabashed Tom King stan. Still, this most recent story has been nothing short of amazing.

I love what King is doing with Batman and Catwoman now. This “interlude” is a great story of redemption and a great story of revenge. I know that King will be leaving Batman soon and I’m sad to see him go. But, he will be working on Batman/Catwoman and I can’t wait for that book.

The Verdict

DC Comics had been fading a bit for me recently. I found that I was skimming more books than I was reading. I’m still skimming some (Superman and more recently Justice League), but I am enjoying most of them. Batman is back to the amazing form that Tom King brings. Justice League continues to be amazing. As long as those books are great, the rest can be sort of middling and I’m a happy camper. Thanks, as always, for reading my DC Comics October 2019 (even if it is a couple of weeks late) review and join me in a few weeks for November.

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 9 Picks

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Introduction

Welcome to my completely ignorant 2019 NFL Week 9 picks. This past week got away from me again, so it’s another week of just picks. Hopefully, I can get this Pioneer podcast off the ground and then I want to record with Liam about the new Pokemon game. Also, I need to do my DC review for this month. But, if you are here for my terrible picks only, none of those things has anything to do with football.

Last week, I won 7 or 8 games. Not entirely sure. As I probably mentioned, this year is just about getting the picks in before the week starts (oops, thanks Obama!) and I’ll try to figure out how to keep better track next year. So, without further interruption, let’s get to the 2019 NFL Week 9 Picks

Toilet Bowls (The usual suspects)

Houston at Jacksonville at London? – Again, I could look up that this game is actually in London and not just scheduled for early in the morning to prevent anyone from accidentally witnessing this horror. Halloween is over, NFL, come up with some less scary matchups. Houston wins.

Detroit at Oakland – Are the Raiders actually in Oakland? I know they’re moving to Las Vegas soon, but are they actually in Oakland? Or are they in LA? Not that it matters. Detroit is just good enough to beat them no matter where this game is.

New York Jets at Miami – Speaking of horrifying games. Ye gods, bad teams in the NFL are painfully bad. I take nothing away from the Pats (eff the Pats and yes, I take everything from this cheating team), but playing a third of your schedule against this division, any team would be historic. I guess the Jets win?

If they’re on, I’ll watch (As usual, not really, but there are some slightly compelling games)

Washington at Buffalo – Right after I texted Chris that Buffalo was still looking legit they got lit up by the Eagles. Whoops. I still think that they are a decent team this year and should be able to make the playoffs. They’ll bounce back against the racists

Tennessee at Carolina – This is one of those in between games. I don’t think I’d actually watch the game if it was on. However, I don’t think it quite reaches the status of toilet bowl, either. Carolina is decent this year even if Tennessee is snake bitten. Panthers win.

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh – I’d definitely not watch this game if it was on. The Steelers are terrible this year. Indianapolis is only interesting because of how Andrew Luck started the season. Seriously, everyone other than the Pats are irrelevant in the AFC this year. *sigh* Indy wins.

Cleveland at Denver – I was one of those who were on the Cleveland bandwagon at the beginning of the year. All I saw was the talent. I never realized that Freddy Kitchens could be a coach that caused these guys to regress so much. Denver wins and my ego takes another bruising.

Okay, Now I’m Interested (Genuinely in some of these games)

Chicago at Philadelphia – The Eagles surprised me by whipping the Bills last week. I’m still on Chicago’s defense even if they aren’t actually as good as they were last year. Let’s go with the Bears in an upset.

Dallas at New York Giants – I became a fan of the Cowboys when Dak and Cooper carried my shared fantasy football team into the playoffs before disappearing. I like what the kid in New York is doing, but not enough to pick them.

Green Bay at Los Angeles Chargers – Aaron Rodgers is playing up to form. Phillip Rivers is playing like he never sleeps because he has 22 kids. Packers roll.

New England at Baltimore – I heard a stat that Tom Brady is 9-3 in games where the Patriots play the Ravens. I must only remember the 3 losses because it feels like Baltimore is one of those nightmare teams against the Pats. Doesn’t matter this year since the Patriots defense is absurd and winning games by itself. *sigh*

Game of the Week (Even without Mahomes, the Chiefs are entertaining)

Minnesota at Kansas City – Patrick Mahomes suffered from the Madden curse a couple of weeks ago. The Vikings defense is smothering (or it is sometimes). Something’s gotta give here, but I really want the Chiefs to be there to challenge the Patriots in the playoffs, so let’s go KC!

The Verdict

Overall, the 2019 NFL Week 9 isn’t a terrible week of football. There are the requisite terrible games, but in all honesty, I might be keeping an eye on more than one of the other games and not just for daily fantasy purposes. Thanks, as always, for reading and we’ll see you next Sunday. Oh, before I forget, I’d have picked the 9ers, but not in a close one. This Thursday, let’s take the Chargers. But, I kind of want to take the Raiders since home teams are usually good on Thursday. No, I’ll stick with the Chargers.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 8 Picks

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Introduction

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 8. Hard to believe, but we are halfway through the season right now. There have been a few surprises this year, as there often are. However, the Patriots (eff the Pats) deal with the devil appears to still be binding. Patrick Mahomes got hurt and that gives me one less reason to care about the league.

But, I will continue to pick games each week. That’s how much I care about my nonexistent fans. I haven’t been as diligently keeping track of how well I’ve done overall, but I did get 7 or 8 games right last week. That was quite a nice bounce back from the previous week. Okay, enough chit chat, let’s pick some games for 2019 NFL Week 8.

Toilet Bowls (Terrible Week of Football)

New York Jets at Jacksonville – Seems like every week we have at least one of these games. Both of these teams could cease to exist tomorrow and nobody would even notice. Flip a coin.

Tampa Bay at Tennessee – Is Matt Tannehill still starting for Tennessee? Egad. Tampa Bay it is.

Miami at Pittsburgh – Well, the Steelers will at least win 3 games this year.

Cleveland at New England – This could have been a marquee game if Cleveland lived up to billing. They haven’t. Pats effing roll again It’s 2008 all over again. *sigh*

New York Giants at Detroit – Speaking of 2008, Eli isn’t even playing right now as our last hope against the Patriots. Daniel Jones took a step back last week. At least Detroit hovering around .500 makes Thanksgiving potentially intersting.

Denver at Indianapolis – This game is the perfect modern NFL game. Two middling teams playing in a game that ultimately doesn’t matter. Go Indy?

Seattle at Atlanta– I at least somewhat care about Seattle. Atlanta is awful. That’s all.

If they’re on, I’ll watch (Not really, but I will tune in to check my fantasy team)

Cincinnati at Los Angeles Rams – I’m not sure why this one isn’t in the toilet bowls? I have absolutely no interest in watching this anemic Rams team fool everyone into thinking they’re good by destroying the Bengals.

Arizona at New Orleans – I like the Teddy Bridgewater story. Arizona somehow has 3 wins this year. Maybe this one should be in the “Okay, I’m interested” section. New Orleans wins at home.

Los Angeles Chargers at Chicago – I’ve been all in on the Bears defense since they carried me into the fantasy playoffs last year. They’re a bit worse this year, but I still think they can keep father of the year (he has like 7 votes, so it isn’t fair), Phillip Rivers, in check.

Okay, I’m Interested (Not in much. Like I said, a terrible week of football)

Carolina at San Francisco – I’m not entirely sure why I’m interested in this game. I have nothing invested in either team. I guess, sometimes, you just need to watch for fun. Frisco keeps winning.

Philadelphia at Buffalo – Buffalo has been one of those surprises I mentioned earlier. The NFL is just better when the Bills are good. I hope they can win, but I think Philly clips ’em.

Game of the Week (Even without Mahomes, or especially, I’m rooting for the Chiefs)

Green Bay at Kansas City – Always stuck in the past, I just saw a commercial for this game as a rematch of Super Bowl I (? See, that’s how much it matters. I actually had to look it up because I went 3, then 2, and finally 1) and a possible preview of this year. I don’t know about that last part, but the NFL is nothing if not a hype machine. Even without Mahomes, this could be a good game. I hope the Chiefs pull it out, but think the Packers will be too much for that defense.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).