Category Archives: Uncategorized

Best of the AFC 2020 Midseason


I realize it isn’t exactly the AFC 2020 midseason. Some teams, including the Colts and Titans after last night, have played 9 games. However, the team of my childhood (and the surprising favorite team of a colleague I recently learned) the Steelers, have only played 8. While I take no joy necessarily in the fact that they’re undefeated, they are. We should show deference to that perfection.

Tried to find a humorous image using the search term “imperfectly perfect” and it was just a bunch of motivational crap. Nobody has time for that.

And, so that is how we have arrived at the “midseason” report for the AFC this year. For the quarter report, we did “awards”. This time around, because we like to focus on the positive, I’m going to do the best of the first half of the year for each team. I thought about doing best and worse, but (a) that’s twice as much work and (b) focus on the positive! So, let’s discuss the best of the AFC 2020 Midseason.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (7-2): The best thing to happen to the Bills this year has got to be that Josh Allen finally seems to be rounding into form as a decent to good quarterback. He’s still not a top tier quarterback even though I might have him in my top 10 at this point. That’s actually an intriguing couple of questions. Maybe I’ll answer them before the end of the year.

Miami Dolphins (5-3): Anyone who has followed this page for any period of time knows exactly what I’m going to say here. Granted, it has only been two games and he wasn’t great in one of them, but Tua Tagovaiola has been my man crush since his first appearance at Alabama.

New England Patriots (3-5): I guess in a year where everything seems to be going sideways for the Pats, the best thing for them is that they aren’t “Eff the Pats” this year. I’m sure they appreciate it. The thing is, I don’t hate Brady without the Pats and I feel sorry for the Pats without Brady. It was just an unholy alliance I couldn’t allow to exist.

New York Jets (0-9): I mean, what can I say about the Jets? At least they have an inside track at Trevor Lawrence. Though, what does that mean now that the guy has had Covid-19? We’ve seen that might have lingering effects. I suppose that it is fitting that I’m having trouble spinning an 0-9 record into a positive.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (8-1): You might expect me to say Mahomes here. And, with reason because I considered it. After all, last year he became my main NFL man crush. But, the fact of the matter is…well, the fact of the matter is that I’m saying Mahomes is the best thing that has happened to the Chiefs this year and maybe ever.

Las Vegas Raiders (5-3): I didn’t want the Raiders to move. The Raiders are, and always will be, from Oakland. However, I’d be lying if I said anything other than “Vegas Baby!” when discussing the best for this team. It’s just perfect that there are now two teams in the gambling capital of America. It really puts a dent in the whole sports is about comradery and competition.

Denver Broncos (3-5): Denver is rapidly approaching the territory that Seattle occupied briefly a few years ago. If someone doesn’t remind me periodically of their existence, I forget. I guess the best thing I can say about them is that at least they have this year to avoid being the fourth place team in the division. Because, next year, Herbert is going to blow up and propel San Diego ahead of them.

San Diego (I know, LA, but eff that) Chargers (2-6): The Chargers don’t deserve Justin Herbert. But, they have him. And, like Mahomes, he’s the best thing to happen to this team in a long time. Sure, they had Phillip Rivers, but honestly, what kind of a life is that for a football team?

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-0): They are my childhood team. That’s a tough habit to break. However, I drift farther and farther away every year from this team. Perhaps that’s the best thing to happen to them as they are 8-0 this year. I refuse to admit their rapey helmetless motorcycle riding QB is great. Their receiving corps thogh.

Baltimore Ravens (6-2): The best thing for this team is that they aren’t the Browns anymore. Can you imagine? Having Baker Mayfield as QB instead of Lamar Jackson? Think about it. Just for a minute, Ravens fans, and tell me I’m wrong.

Cleveland Browns (5-3): I used to like Baker. I rooted for the Browns and tried to use the 538 playoff predictor to get them into the playoffs a couple of years ago. I might still like Baker. But, he’s not the best thing on the Browns this year. Then again, he just might be. I can’t think of anything better. How sad is that?

Cincinatti Bengals (2-5-1): I’d be insane to say anything other than Joe “Mothereffing” Burrow. The kid has lived up to the hype as the number one pick. Sure, the Bengals are in last place in the division and they have two games left against the Steelers and one against the Ravens. They can hang their hat on Burrow being legit and next year being better.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts (6-3): I guess the best thing about the Colts is that they’re tied for first in the division in spite of being in salcap hell because of Andrew Luck’s decision to retire at the beginning of last season. By the way, I still support it 100%. Some things (meaning pretty much anything) are more important than football.

Tennessee Titans (6-3): Having trouble coming up with a best for the Titans. Until the Steelers beat them a few weeks ago, they were also undefeated. Since then, they’ve lost 3 out of 4 including one to the aforementioned Colts. I guess Derrick Henry is a beast.

Houston Texans (2-7): The best thing for the Texans is that they’ve gone back to their annual status of most disappointing team in the AFC. I mean, that’s not really a best, but it is a superlative. Great job, Texans!

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7): Sure the Jets are winless, but I’m not entirely sure where I was going with that. The fact of the matter is that it is best for both of these teams that American sports don’t have European soccer style relegation.

The Verdict

I’m actually more interested in the conference now that we’ve reached the AFC 2020 midseason. The Chiefs no longer look to be the world beaters. The Steelers are surprisingly playing an effective heel as the only undefeated team. Tua! is winning hearts across Florida. Justin Herbert and Joe Burrow round out the great young QBs in the league. I keep saying to Chris that we seem to be going through another golden age for QBs and I’m here for it.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Zendikar Rising Notable cards: Miscellany


Time for Zendikar Rising notable cards Miscellany. This most recent set of articles has taken significantly longer than anticipated. Maybe not longer than expected, but certainly longer than anticipated. Yes, dear friends, we are well into that annual tradition of back to school. When time is at a premium and that premium time ends up being time spent on the couch watching “Cobra Kai” or “Community”.

I end up striking last, a bit on the soft side, and show too much mercy. Still, for some reason, I relate to Johnny.

Yes, you could argue that if I cared so much about this web page and the content, I would make time while sitting on the couch. And, you’re right, to an extent. I do care about the web page and the content. I wouldn’t continue to pay 12 dollars a month to keep the domain if I didn’t. However, as this is currently just a hobby, well, it just is what it is. And, yes, with an attitude like that, it will most likely remain just a hobby. I’m comfortable with that. Let’s talk Zendikar Rising notable cards miscellany.

Multicolored (Nahiri and Omnath, et cetera, oh my!)

Honorable Mention (Nahiri, Heir of the Ancients): At the beginning of spoiler season, after I was done making a fool of myself by saying that the new Jace is broken af in Legacy and possibly Vintage, I texted Chris about this card. Fear not True Believers, I was not silly enough to call this one broken (or even overpowered) in any format. I simply said, “The new Nahiri looks fun, too.” And, that’s what these articles are all about.

Honorable Mention (Kargan Warleader): I often mention that, while I’ve never played Commander, I look at the game through a Commander lens. I have played a few games of Tiny Leaders against Chris, though, and I enjoy the concept thoroughly. One of my first TL decks was an Alesha, Who Laughs at Death warrior deck. This card would fit nicely there.

Omnath, Locus of Creation">Omnath, Locus of Creation: I don’t usually include actual broken cards in these articles. You can read previous ones to understand why. However, when it feels like WotC is just pushing the power level of Standard to new and ridiculous heights, I am 100% here for it. I watch Legacy and Vintage primarily to watch stupidly broken cards and combos. The difference between them and Standard is that I might actually get to play these stupidly broken cards thanks to MTGA.

Verazol, the Split Current">Verazol, the Split Current: Remember earlier when I said that I fancied myself a Commander player even though I’ve never played a single game of Commander? Well, this card is right up that alley. Technically, it could be a Tiny Leader, too. However, I really want to have the 99 card deck to see if I could truly do some stupid stuff with this card.

Colorless (A One Beast Party and Stupid Fun)

Honorable Mention Stonework Packbeast: I’m not entirely sure why, but as soon as I saw this jank, I knew that I had to include it in this article. I mean, it’s jank. It incorporates one of my favorite new mechanics in the set. Let’s go.

Lithoform Engine">Lithoform Engine: I texted Chris when I first saw this card, “Lithoform Engine is a potentially fun card. Bad, but fun.” He agreed. Well, if we’ve learned anything, that’s right up my alley. Can’t wait to play this dumb, bad, but potentially fun card.

The Verdict (Zendikar Rising Notable Cards Miscellany are just that)

There are some fun cards in this article. A few of the cards might even be competitive. Heck, there’s even a broken card that has caused one banning in standard. Similar to the rest of the set, it just depends on what you’re looking for. I know some people are crapping on this current era in MTG history, but I think they truly are threading the needle as well as can be expected. Sure, the competitive scene might not be as healthy as the past, but honestly, it’s kind of silly that they have a competitive scene for a children’s card game.

Minecraft Builders and Biomes


Thank goodness for Minecraft: Builders and Biomes. I’ve been searching for a Minecraft tabletop roleplaying game for some time now. I found one a few years ago, but never got around to playing it because it seemed virtually unplayable when I looked through the booklet. And, so, the search continued

Why a Minecraft roleplaying game? Well, as you may have noticed if you are a regular reader of the page, I generally like to have a digital game and a tabletop game to review for each weekly theme. It goes back to the long defunct podcast which had a “Digital Playground” segment and a “On the Tabletop” segment.

Old habits and John McClain

I have been able to find other tabletop games for the other games that I’ve covered recently. Most notably, I was very impressed by the fan made Pokemon RPG that I looked at a few weeks ago. Also, WotC has done a good job with the MTG/D&D crossovers. But, Minecraft eluded me. Sure, the card game exists, but I think I’ve already covered that. If not, well, I guess I have something for a couple of weeks when I take a look at the Minecraft Dungeons update.

The Great

It’s Minecraft! – Well, not exactly. However, I couldn’t let one of these articles go by without going to my, well, go to, could I? And, with that being said, the game is as close to Minecraft as I imagine a Minecraft board game possibly could. As we were playing, I kept thinking to myself, “What are the core principles of Minecraft?” Mining, building, exploring. This game actually captures all three very nicely. Just thinking about it now has me excited and wanting to play again.

Homer knows what’s up.

Fun – Isn’t this the reason that we play games in the first place? I honestly can’t think of another reason that makes sense. And, I can confirm that Minecraft Builders and Biomes was fun. Towards the end of the game, Quinn kept delaying the end through strategy. How, you ask? Well, without giving away too much, the end of the game is predetermined by the rules and one of the strategies is to extend the game in order to get more points. Also, at the end of the game, we both said how much we wanted to play it again.

The Good

Easy Set Up – The instructions are only 4 pages. That is including diagrams. We were up and playing within 10 minutes. It cannot be stressed how much I like a game that has an easy set up.

Quick Games – The games are quick, too. Once we were set up, we were finished with the game in a little less than an hour. The box says 30-60 minutes for a game, so that sounds like we had an average game. While I don’t care as much about the game going quickly, it was nice for last night since it was almost bedtime for Quinn.

The Decent

No Main Board – I would have preferred if they included a main game board for set up. As you play the game, it gets degraded and you may not always know whether you are moving too many steps in a turn. That’s a minor squabble though and one that I could easily remedy by making my own.

Do I have to mine anything? Or, can I just craft it?

Maybe Too Quick – Again, I don’t care too much about the actual length of a game. Sometimes you want a sprint and sometimes you want a marathon. However, I did say earlier that Quinn was trying to extend the game. That might have been because he was delaying bedtime, but I think it was because he was having fun. I even found myself doing the same because I was enjoying the game so much.

The Verdict

If you’re looking for a fun and quick version of Minecraft away from technology, you definitely want to check out Minecraft Builders and Biomes. The game is fun. It feels like playing Minecraft. I would like to see how well it scales to more players, but that will come with time. See you in the Overworld!

Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL DivIsional Round Preview


Well, Coin Flip Weekend lived up to its nickname. Now we are on to the 2019 NFL Divisional Round. All 3 games were decided by one score. The only home team to win was Houston and they needed a near miracle 4th quarter comeback to do it. I ended up going 1-3 in my picks, which is the worst outcome.

2-2 let’s me brag that at least I was .500 and could have won money. 3-1 means that I was only one game off from perfect. 4-0 keeps that dream alive. Hell, even 0-4 is cool because then I could shoot for the winless streak. But, 1-3 just means that I was bad. Or, the weekend was really weird. Probably a little bit of both. Okay, let’s make some more terrible picks.

Saturday Games

Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers – Chris offered me the option of the Seahawks or the 49ers a few weeks ago as the NFC representative in the NFC. I’m more or less 100% convinced that nobody is beating Baltimore in the AFC. I picked Seattle at the time because they were “the more complete team. San Fran has a good defense, but I wonder about Jimmy G”. Honestly, that hasn’t changed except Seattle has so many injuries that they’re no longer as complete. Regarding this game, I thought that New Orleans was going to destroy Minnesota. I should have done a bit more research at the Saints tortured playoffs past. I again have that feeling this week about the 49ers. The only thing that gives me pause is Jimmy G’s inexperience. If he holds up, 49ers roll.

Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens have been the best team in the NFL, by far, since they lost to the Browns early in the season. Lamar Jackson is the run away MVP. I think their running back (who’s name escapes me and I’m too lazy to Google right now. Yes, I understand that I could have Googled it in the time it took me to type this, but that means switching tabs. Don’t judge me.) may come back this week. Tennessee knocked off the Pats, but that was their last hurrah. This game will be over shortly after halftime.

Sunday Games

Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs – This is another game that I can see being an absolute blowout. The Texans ruined my Bills dream this year, but that’s okay. The Bills will hopefully be back next year and the Pats, unless they make some great moves, will most likely take another step backwards. There are some arguments against a blowout. Andy Reid (though this isn’t the Championship yet), Watson can get hot, and the Chiefs defense is still suspect at best. Still, I think they get it done and give everyone the LJ/Mahomes matchup they want.

Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers – This is the only game that I don’t foresee a blowout. Both of these teams are pretty evenly matched. I did pick Seattle, as mentioned above, but I’m lukewarm on that pick. Maybe this is finally the game that the injury riddled Seahawks lose. I guess I’ll pick the Seahawks, still, as the lone “upset” road win for this week to stick to my guns.

The Verdict

The 2019 NFL Divisional round is a decent group of games. Three of them are going to most likely end in a blowout. The fourth very well could do the same. If I remember correctly, that’s sort of how the playoffs go lately. The first round is a coin flip. The second round is home field with several blow outs and the championship round and Super Bowl are decent games.

Well, if all goes according to plan this week, next week looks great. KC/Baltimore and Seattle/San Fran will be great games. They will also keep my Super Bowl pick alive. Alas, I put no money on that, so again, I’m left looking like a chump. Oh well, see you next week for the Conference Championships.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Rapid Fire! Random Thoughts on the 2019 NFL Season

-Biggest surprise of the season must be how good the Baltimore Ravens are.  I think most people figured that Lamar Jackson was going to be more of an average QB with a good season sprinkled in here and there.  Yup. Average. The guy has been unstoppable.  You can’t contain him, and even if your coverage is good, he uses his feet to either buy time until a receiver inevitably gets open, or he will just pick up the first down himself. I’m always surprised at how fast the ball comes out of his hands with minimal effort for 20-30-yard gains even when his feet aren’t planted.  I knew the Ravens defense was already good and with the offseason addition of Earl Thomas it got better.   It seems that after the blowout loss to Cleveland, they have been on the warpath.  I watched him destroy my beloved New England Patriots with relative ease and my gut says that when they meet in the Playoffs, they will do so again. 

-Well it finally happened; the Kansas City Chiefs defense is so damn bad that even the offense can’t bail them out anymore.  When is Andy Reid going to learn that you need a defense?  Not every game should be a sprint on the scoreboard.  They were my AFC pick to make the Super Bowl this year.  Wha..? I didn’t pick the Patriots?! More on that later.

-What the hell happened to the Rams?  One season after they made the Super Bowl and they look awful.  The offense just can’t get anything going and the defense isn’t good enough to keep them in games.  Goff looked like the next big thing last year and at this point looks like a very, very average QB. My working theory is that whoever faces the Patriots in the Super Bowl falls off the Max Kellerman trademarked “cliff” going forward.  Think about it! Rams? Suck. Falcons? Suck. Eagles? Kinda Suck. Seahawks? Well they slightly sucked for a couple of years after that horrific goal line call in the 2014 Super Bowl, but they are looking decent this year.  Maybe the curse wears off?

-I’m still shocked at Marcus Mariota being benched for Ryan Tannehill. Even more shocked that Tannehill is actually playing decently.  What happened to Mariota?! He was a world-beater in Oregon! I think sometimes that college-level talent doesn’t necessarily translate to the NFL. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s better than a lot of the QBs in the NFL, but he’s just not consistent.

-Buffalo Bills are for real.  Yeah.  Let that sink in.  Josh Allen is not a draft bust like I thought he would be.  In fact, for the most part, has been getting better and better as the season goes on. Even more surprising is the fact that they have a really good defense.  Only thing going against them is that they are in New England’s division so the most they can hope for is a Wild Card spot.

-San Francisco 49ers are also very much for real.  Jimmy G hasn’t always been stellar this season, but he’s done enough to keep me playing the “What If” game.  As in what if the Pats didn’t trade him for essentially nothing.  Yeah, I’m still crying over that. Also, the 49ers’ defense is ridiculous.  At only 1 loss this season, I can see how they are the NFC favorite to make the Super Bowl.   I don’t think so though…

-My Super Bowl pick?  Well as I stated above barring any injury to Lamar Jackson the Ravens will represent the AFC.  NFC? Well part of me thinks that the 49ers avenge their only loss this season to the Seahawks BUT I think Russell Wilson is just too clutch and the Seahawks knock the 49ers out of the Playoffs in what should be a close game.  Ravens vs Seahawks.  Ravens win 31-17.

-The New England Patriots Offense. Yikes.  I know a lot of people are blaming a very green receiver roster for the offensive issues this season but as much as it pains me to say it, Tom Brady is also responsible.  I can hear the cries of blasphemy from my fellow N.E fans already, but I do think it’s true.  It’s taking him longer to get the ball out of his hand and his accuracy seems to be off.  He’s missing a lot of easy throws on screen passes that he used to make with no problem.  And we’re talking a lot of missed throws in soft coverage.  His awareness in the pocket also seems to be an issue.  Ok, enough picking on Brady, the receivers also seem to have a ton of drops on what should be easy uncontested catches. Hopefully they find their rhythm in the next couple of games or they’re screwed.  While I think their #1 defense can continue to win games for them, that same defense struggled mightily against Baltimore. 

-Speaking of N.E’s defense, Stephon Gilmore is a beast.  Best cornerback in the league by far.  I knew he was insanely good, but to completely shut down Amari Cooper was mind-blowing.  0 catches.  To be fair Dallas should have won that game since Ezekiel Elliot finally had some momentum going and was picking up 5-6 yards per carry. But Jason Garrett is going to do Jason Garrett things like throw the ball on 3rd and 1 against the best secondary in the league.  Jerry Jones really needs to grow a pair and get rid of the guy. 

-On the subject of good ol’ Jerry, during yesterday’s (Thanksgiving) game against Buffalo, I loved that every time Dallas completely crapped the bed, the camera would zoom in on the owner’s box to get his reaction.  It’s like the network wanted to either catch old man tears on film so very badly or they wanted him to hold up sign that read “Jason, if you can read this, you’re fired”. To be fair, it would have been understandable if he did either.  I missed it, but I heard that he literally did have tears in his eyes during an interview after the game.  Jason Garrett, you are a total dumpster fire of a coach and you also made Jerry cry. I couldn’t help but laugh when he goes for it on 4th and 1 on the 19-yard line when it was a close game, but then when they are down 2 scores in the 3rd quarter, he kicks the field goal.  What?!

Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 11 PReview


Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 11. What did we learn in Week 10? The NFL is bad. Like, really, really bad. Like, I don’t understand how people are fans of this game. Let alone how this sport has become the national past time instead of baseball. Sure, they aren’t any better and their games are boring. I guess all this talk of American exceptionalism are just a fairy tale that people tell themselves and our legacy is racism and violence.

Wow, that just got deep there. Allow me to elaborate. The Steelers showed some promise last week by decimating the Rams, who were supposed to be a legitimate contender this year. They were then, in turn, destroyed by the Browns this past Thursday. The league is two or three “good” teams and everyone else is just mediocre or terrible. How is that entertaining. And, now an awkward transition. Let’s pick some games for 2019 NFL Week 11!

Toilet Bowls (Some HQ terrible content this week)

New York Jets at Washington – Speaking of racism, we have the Washington team headlining this section once again. I would say that their awfulness is indicative that karma works, but I no longer believe in such niceties. Apparently Jeff Bezos is rumored to be the next owner of the racists. That’s exactly what is needed to make this team even more detestable. I hope the Jets destroy them.

Cincinnati at Oakland (Vegas? ) Raiders – Is Cincinnati still winless? Are the Raiders still in Oakland? Find out the answer to these and probably other burning questions if you watch this terrible game, which I won’t be doing. But, the Raiders win, I guess.

Atlanta at Carolina – Atlanta beat the Saints last week, which is just another data point in how terrible this league is. I actually looked at this game and thought it was the game that was played last week. That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for the league, either. So, let’s get on the Falcons bandwagon because why the hell not?

Chicago at Los Angeles Rams – This is one of those games that might have been considered a marquee matchup. Now, though, it is just another game that will inexplicably sell out and get huge TV ratings. I guess the Rams bounce back from the embarrassment of getting beaten by a terrible Steelers team.

If They’re On, I’ll Watch (As usual, probably not, but this week I have an excuse. We’re decorating for Christmas)

Jacksonville at Indianapolis (at London?) – I know it isn’t in London, but that’s like a new running gag her on the page. Hey, they can’t all be winners. Wow, I thought the Colts were good and the Jags terrible. Only one game separates them. I really need to just assume that every team is around .500 unless proven otherwise. Still, I feel like the Colts can roll them.

Denver at Minnesota – Okay, my new assumption has already been disproven. Minnesota is 7-3 and Denver is 3-6. That means that the Vikings should destroy them. What it actually means is that Denver will somehow win and invalidate the first 10 weeks of the season.

Dallas at Detroit – Both of these teams play on Thanksgiving. It would have made sense to give them both Sunday off. Detroit gets that luxury. Because they’re America’s team, Dallas has to play the Patriots the Sunday before. That makes perfect sense.

New England at Philadelphia – Speaking of the Patriots, I have had an extra week to glory in the tears of Pats fans at their beloved undefeated season going up in smoke once again. Wait, what do you mean I didn’t pick the last game. Who knows? This whole league is a coin flip. I may need to come up with another shtick instead of picking games.

Okay, now I’m interested (in decking the halls with boughs of holly)

Arizona at San Francisco – I noticed a couple of weeks ago that San Fran was somehow undefeated. I’m not sure how that happened, but it’s no longer relevant after they lost to Seattle. Still, Kyler Murray is fun to watch even if Arizona stinks. San Fran wins.

Buffalo at Miami – I just noticed that the Bills are only 2 (I guess technically 3 because they already lost to them) games behind the Patriots for the division. I knew they had been doing well, but it seems like less well the past few weeks. They will at least hold serve and hopefully gain another game this week by destroying the Phins.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay – The Saints seemed to be rolling right into the Super Bowl to make up for getting robbed last year. Then, they ran into the buzz saw that was the *checks notes* Atlanta Falcons. Um, okay, sure, and that game was in New Orleans. Tampa could steal this one.

Houston at Baltimore – As a Steelers fan (of which I claim not to be anymore), I should hate Baltimore. I don’t. Lamar Jackson seems to be the real deal and their defense is pretty dang good again, too. I considered this one for Game of the Week. Baltimore wins.

Game of the Week

Kansas City at Los Angeles Chargers – At this point, Patrick Mahomes is like a character in a Greek tragedy. Except his fatal flaw isn’t actually his. He’s playing for a subpar coach with a terrible defense. He’s more like Lebron James, carrying this corpse of a team on his back to glory. Let’s go Chiefs!

The Verdict

Well, 2019 NFL Week 11 isn’t all bad. There are actually some games that I might sit and watch if they were on. The problem is that they won’t be on because we are decorating for Christmas. Still, I don’t have much else to be excited about. Tua got hurt and the insane bowl season doesn’t start up for a couple of weeks. See you next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Thank ****! It’s Thanksgiving! (What I’m Thankful For)

It’s that time of year; where we get fat on dead bird and reflect on things in our lives that make us not want to swing from our shoelaces from a ceiling fan.  Don’t know about you but that sentence gave me the warm and fuzzies.   Well, in the spirit of the holiday season I’ve decided to share, with our loyal readers (bots), the things that I’m most thankful for this year.

Shawn’s Hate of the New England Patriots:  He’s hated them before it was the thing to do.  Eff the Pats indeed.  Can you blame him?  They have essentially ruined the NFL for him for the past decade.  All I know is that it makes the diehard N.E fan in me cackle manically whenever he voices his utter contempt for them.

Comic Books: The beginning of the year was rough for me.  Work was really wearing me down and making me depressed, but I dove headfirst into my comic collection and it worked wonders.  Between reading them, hunting them, buying them, sorting them and talking with Shawn daily about them, it kept me sane as well as kept my shoestrings in my shoes.   Just having that escape when I didn’t necessarily have the time to play MTG or play a video game made a huge difference and really got me through.  Dying media? Maybe, but I’ll go down with the ship.

Nintendo Switch Lite: I’m getting married next fall and since both my parents and my soon-to-be bride’s parents are not swimming in money like ****ing Scrooge McDuck <insert Ducktales theme song here>, we have to foot the bill for the entire thing.  Which means less money on nerd stuff, so I haven’t been able to run out and get a Switch yet. All I’ve heard for the past year is how awesome the damn thing is but yet the price hasn’t dropped on it.  BUT Nintendo has taken mercy on the nerds on a budget and announced the Lite version of the Switch for $199.  Yeah, it doesn’t connect to a tv, but screw it, I play mostly handhelds anyways (insert joke here), and highly doubt I would even use a switch on my tv.  I can justify 200 bucks for a Switch, but the cheap gamer in me is holding out for a Black Friday (AKA Materialpossessiongeddon) deal on one. Either way, I will be a proud owner by the end of the year.

Madden Football:  I don’t think I ever laugh as hard as when I play Madden against Shawn.  Between our obvious inability to throw a completed pass without it getting picked off, the crappy commentary (specifically when they talk about Tom Brady, even though neither one of us are playing as the Patriots), and our own completely inappropriate commentary which will never see the light of day, it’s always a good time.

DCBS (Discount Comic Book Service): Although their shipments can be a bit wonky (I’m still waiting for a book that was released in August and a few from September), I can’t complain about the prices and with the aforementioned wedding expenses they’ve allowed me to stay current in the hobby instead of trying to play catch up via Midtown Comics and paying twice the amount.  Sorry, I still like Midtown Comics for their exclusive autographed books, but the shipping times are always ridiculous.

Teflon Trump’s Fat Fingers of Twitterin’ Doom:  We tend to stay away from politics on this site since it tends to be a divisive subject. Also, our readership is basically all Russian bots and we all know that Trump+Russians=Besties. Hey-OH!  Seriously though folks, sometimes the s*** this guy tweets out makes me laugh due to the sheer unfiltered stupidity packed into those 280 characters.  It’s both amazing and horrific entertainment all wrapped up into one fat spray-tanned package.  What are all the late-night hosts going to do if he’s actually impeached/loses the next election?! Someone is going to have to do daily wellness checks on Colbert.

Alright that’s it for this year folks! I hope that you and yours have a fantastic holiday season! 

Why Pioneer Will Stick/Why Pioneer Will fail

Howdy gang! Today I wanted to touch on the subject of the newest format of Magic the Gathering that’s gaining steam; Pioneer.  For those of you who are scratching your virtual heads (looking at you Sergei), Pioneer is basically Modern but with the restriction of only being able to use cards from the Return to Ravnica block forward. Being more of a Modern player this format resonates with me.  I got back into the game during the RTR block and while it holds a special place in my heart, I kick myself for not getting back into the game years before when the staples of Modern were first released.  Yes, unfortunately, I’ve always gone to modern feeling underpowered as I stared across the table at Tarmogoyfs, Lilys, Emrakruls, Karns, Fetches, get the point, while I played mostly budget decks as I’m a responsible (ish) adult who refuses to spend a grand or two on a Tier1 Modern deck.  With this format, it feels like equal footing.  It’s Modern for the new guys.  While giddy on the inside, I’m cautious on the exterior.  Why? Well I’m glad that you asked, voice in my head, I’ll tell you why I think this format could already be in trouble and why, on my soft caramel and nougat inside (Mmm Milky Ways), I think this might stick.


WOTC has already made it clear that there will be weekly bannings as the competitive scene meta comes to light. I think a big reason why this format has caught on fire in the last few weeks is the fact that all the overpowered cards from Standard-Ghosts past are now playable again.  Emrakrul, The Promised End, Deathrite Shaman, Aetherworks Marvel, Dig Through Time, Treasure Cruise, Saheeli Rai and that damn Felidar Cat..the list goes on and on.  It’s actually been interesting to track the card value spikes online while giggling to myself knowing that there would be a crash on a lot of the cards due to the Ban Hammer being swung around every week.  Right off the bat, WOTC banned Fetches (thank you!), and just last week dropped the hammer on the Felidar Beast, therefore killing the Saheeli infinite combo, Oath of Nissa and Leyline of Abundance (to kill mana fixing right out of the gate).  While, personally, I rather play fair games that last more 4 turns, I think there a lot of players that get a rush from pulling off infinite combos, playing overpowered cards, and just generally breaking the system and sticking it to the man. Once the bans keep coming, I can see a lot of players dropping the format and crying into their playset of Treasure Cruises. (C’mon we all know that is going away!).

Here to Stay!

Simply put; everyone is ****ing tired of getting their collective ***es kicked by the same Modern decks over and over again.   Jund, Tron, Lantern Control, Burn, Bant.  We’ve all at one time played against them either in person or online. If you haven’t, then consider yourself lucky.  Next person who plays Lantern Control against me will get dropkicked in the ****ing throat. Try me m*******r. many times have  you watched SCG Modern streams just to see the same decks over and over and over?  How many times have you perused the Top 8 decklists just to see the same decks over and over and over?  This is a fresh start! The meta is constantly in a state of flux as WOTC bans what they deem as unfair, so the top decks haven’t been decided yet and probably won’t be for awhile until the bans have subsided.  This format feels different as Wizards is pushing it hard in the competitive scene.  I fully expect a Pioneer Masters set next year. Write it down.   I’ve never felt this sense of excitement from players when it came to any other format.  Brawl? Meh. Wizards is still pushing it but not as hard. Tiny Leaders? Who gives a tiny crap? Pioneer? Hell yes! People instantly reacted to the announcement and singles prices went haywire. My gut tells me Pioneer will be a winner due to Modern Fatigue and the uncreative deck brewing of that format, as well as people having tons of old Standard cards just sitting in binders that are not Standard-legal but also not powerful enough to compete in Modern.  The possibilities are endless right now and I think people are picking up on that. It’s not often that you can get in on the ground floor of a format.

Bonus Section! Coming to a Banned List Near You!

  1. Aetherworks Marvel
  2. Oko
  3. Dig through Time
  4. Treasure Cruise
  5. Fabled Passage

Completely Ignorant NFL Week 5 2019 Picks


So, I picked Week 1, never followed up, picked week 3, and never followed up. Now we are at the NFL Week 5 2019. Honestly, though, I treat the first four weeks of the season like the players do. Ever since preseason was shortened and summer practices are less intense, the first four weeks are like an unofficial preseason. Week 5 is when the season really starts.

In following with Simmons and Sal (I know, big shock, right?), I’m going to split the games into categories. There are a million early Sunday games, almost no late games, and one Monday game, as usual. So, it doesn’t make sense to batch them by time. Without further ado, let’s start this season over with NFL Week 5 2019 picks.

Toilet Bowls

Jets at Eagles – Jesus, that’s how little I care about these games. I just did an entire preview on the Jaguars playing in this game. Most of what I said in that can be repeated and the payoff is the same. If the Eagles hope to hang with the Pokes this year, they need to destroy the Jets.

Jags at Panthers – I heard that there’s a London game this week. It’s gotta be the Jags, right? We always send the Jags and the Raiders to London and then wonder why the UK can’t get into American football. Oh, it’s not this game? Still, a potentially terrible game. Panthers better roll if they have any hopes of hanging with the Bucs and Aints this year.

Falcons at Texans – I was high on the Falcons to start the season. However, it would appear that Matt Ryan has forgotten how to play American football. Who knew that Kyle Shanahan was that good of a coach. I guess I’ll take the Texans because they’re at home.

Cardinals at Bengals – If Miami didn’t exist, these two teams would be the worst teams in the league. This is a true definition of a toilet bowl. I hope the Cards win just to extend the Bungles misery.

If they’re on, I’ll watch

Vikings at Giants – This is a game that might have interested me more later in the season. It all depends on how the rookie Giants quarterback performs over the next few weeks. As it is, this Viking defense is solid, so I think they contain the kid.

Patriots at Racists – Well, Buffalo almost pulled of the miracle win last week against the Patriots as I golfed with a bunch of Pats fans. 2 years ago I watched as the Panthers beat them in the same situation. None of that matters here, but I’m having trouble mustering much of an interest in a game where the Pats roll.

Bears at Raiders: Okay, so I wasn’t completely wrong about the possible London game because the Raiders are in it. The Bears defense is solid and I still can’t get behind whatever it is that the Raiders are doing. Bears win.

Browns at 49ers: This might actually be a good game. Imagine going back a couple of years to say that to your past self. They’d have you locked in a loony bin. I mean, that might happen anyway because you’re claiming to be from the future, but never mind that. I’m not as fond of the Browns as I was at the beginning of the year. Still, I think they can win this.

Broncos at Chargers: What even is this game? Why even is this game? I would have put this into the toilet bowls, but I would probably watch it if it was actually on a television near me. No, I wouldn’t. It belongs with the toilet bowls. Who knows? Flip a coin.

Okay, I’m Interested

Buccaneers at Saints: This is rapid overreaction, but the Bucs looked like they had a ton of fun last week. The Aints haven’t missed much of a beat with Teddy Bridgewater in there. I think the Aints can win at home.

Bills at Titans: So, a couple of years ago Chris and I were texting during a game that the Bills were beating the Patriots. They messed up by fumbling a kickoff or something like that to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My comment: “That’s why you’re the Bills.” Now, it would appear that they might be for real. I think they win.

Colts at Chiefs: I might be off the Baker bandwagon right now. The new kid for the Giants hasn’t done enough to register on my radar. But, Patrick Mahomes, my original man crush of the younger QB generation is still out there turning heads. I’m not sure what to think about the Colts, but I think the Chiefs keep rolling.

Packers at Cowboys; The Pokes have a good defense and a decent offense that is a bit hamstrung by having Dak Prescott at quarterback. The Packers have Aaron Rodgers. You shouldn’t bet against Rodgers, but I just think the Pokes win this one at home.

Game of the Week

Ravens at Steelers: I won’t say that I’m happy that Big Ben got hurt. But, I’m not all that heartbroken about it. He’s a scumbag and one of the reasons that I just can’t root for the Steelers with the same passion I did when I was younger. This game could go poorly for them with a young QB against the Ravens, but they can win this one. They will need to if they have any hopes of doing anything this year.

The Verdict

Overall, NFL Week 5 2019 isn’t gangbusters. The Steelers/Ravens game would usually be enough to get me excited, but I’m just having trouble mustering anything but resignation that the Patriots are just going to win the whole damn thing again. Eff the Pats.

Note: I realized that I wrote this and then never hit publish. That’s a new one for me. Know, though, that it was written before the games happened. See you next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Rapid Fire!..Random Thoughts 2/19

-To buy a box of M25 or not? I wish the spoilers were flowing a little more freely since the boxes are below $200 at the moment and while the thought of possibly pulling a Jace, the Mind Sculptor out of a pack is dancing in my head, ita��s not quite enough to make me jump and preorder. My prediction for the big ticket cards in the set: Enemy fetches, Tarmogoyf, Aether Vial, Liliana of the Veil, Wurmcoil Engine, Force of Will, Mana Drain and Crucible of the Worlds.

-The first DLC characters for Dragonball FighterZ have been announced; Borly and Bardoc. Bardoc is Gokua��s pops so ita��s essentially another Saiyan which is a little disappointing. While I have gushed uncontrollably about the game, I do wish they would bring in some more non-Saiyan characters. On the other hand Borly should be the largest character in the game so ita��ll be interesting to see how powerful the character actually is.

-A Japanese bike company (Khodaa-Bloom) designed a really cool Megaman themed bike. It can be yours for the low, low price of $2700 USD. For that price, it better come with a friggina�� Buster Shot on the front.

-Not sure where Ia��ve been, but somehow I missed the fact that Gamestop managed to swing a deal to have a Secret of Mana remake for the PS4 be a Gamestop exclusive. Interesting to see if this becomes a thing, (i.e. Target gets exclusive games, Walmart gets exclusive games,..).

-Only 59 more days until God of War 4 is released. But whoa��s counting?

-For all of my Star Wars fans out there, you can preorder the largest Star Wars toy that Hasbro has ever made, Jabbaa��s Sail Barge, for a mere $499.99! This monstrosity is 4 feet long, a little over a foot wide, and a 1 A? feet tall, and comes with either divorce papers or a letter from your child expressing their undying love and gratitude. There is a catch, Hasbro will only start production if they get 5,000 preorders by 4/3 (currently, as of this post, they have 1,259 orders). You can place your preorder at

-Finally, I want to thank everyone who follows us on Twitter and/or Instagram!