Tag Archives: Sports

2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem

Introduction

I found myself home alone on Saturday as the Chefs/Jags game started. So, I did what any red blooded middle aged American male would do. I listened to the Lumineers on vinyl, built a Lego Lamborghini, and watched the game. My wife and youngest came home from the swim meet during the game, but they went off to their own thing. I watched neither the Iggs/Gynts nor Bungs/BIlls because I knew how they’d end. Fittingly for the losing teams, a true 2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem.

The Lambo in question. Pretty cool set.

I kept an eye on the 9ers/Pokes via Gamecast and the text chain with Jason and Chris. I even started to believe for a bit that maybe the Pokes could pull off the upset. Alas, glad they didn’t because my 9ers/Bungs fake future plus the parlay that I doubled up Sunday morning both still play.

Chefs and Mahomes Play Dead, 27-20

I texted Chris during the game, “Rut roh, Mahomes is hurt.” Then, Chad Henne came into the game and threw a touchdown pass. And, then, Mahomes miraculously came back to hobble/hop/skip his way through some bad passes and ultimately the gutsy win. Tape it, shoot it with painkiller, and get out there, Kid. The NFL won’t make billions without you.

Iggs Silence Gynts and “Sharps”, 38-7

I gave this a sentence or two in the preview. That’s all it deserves. But, my fake tease paid, so that’s nice.

Buffalo Buffalos it Finally, 27-10

I like Josh Allen. I like the city of Buffalo and the Bills. What I don’t like is being right about this team and what it does to my brain. I feel so badly for the city of Buffalo. Cigarette Smoking Man, if you’re out there, remove the curse please. I can’t watch this team rip out the hearts of their fans every year like this.

Pokes Buffalo It, Too, 19-12

Other than the aforementioned and ultimately false hope, and the weird score, I don’t care that much about Dallas or their football team or this game. Like I said, I doubled up on a Bungs/9ers fake moneyline parlay earlier in the day, so I hoped for a 9ers win. Other than that, just go away.

The Verdict

Early in the playoffs, I said how much I didn’t want to see a 9ers/Bungs Super Bowl. Then, on my fake bet sheet, I filled them out as the “likely” combination. With a hobbled Mahomes and an overconfident Iggs team, that might just pay off. Oh well, I never watch the game anyway, so what do I care? 2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem in the books. Conference Championship Extravaganza coming up at the end of the week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2023 NFL Divisional Round Spectacular

Introduction

In our coin flip post mortem, we worried about the Bills, hated the Jags, Bolts, VIkings, and GIants, and didn’t care all that much about the 9ers, Hawks, Bungs, and Rats. In a shocking turn of events, we liked the Cowboys more than any other team last weekend. I guess all I can say about that is, “Thank goodness Mahomes is back this weekend.” He is the only thing making this 2023 NFL Divisional round spectacular.

On that subject, Christine, Craig, Leanne, and I went to the UMass/UConn hockey game last night. The alma mater lost a heartbreaker, 4-3, in overtime. In spite of that, we enjoyed the game. And what does any of this have to do with Mahomes? Well, Craig and I caught up on our usual sport talk. And, he mentioned that he hated Mahomes. Wait, what? I might have to reconsider this friendship after all these years.

Besides, look at these seats!

Jags at Chefs, Saturday 4:25pm

As it happens, Mahomes plays in our first game. Most people think the Chefs roll. The NFL scheduling department clearly believes that, too. They put this as the Saturday matinee because they know the only people watching then are fans of the teams and the degenerate gamblers. Even though that’s not me, what I say next will give you pause. I put a fake 480 on a KC/Phi 6.5 point tease. Still, I plan to meet Christine and Quinn for dinner after his swim meet.

Gynts at Iggs, Saturday 8:15 pm

The sharps all like New York in this game. Other than the fictional money I just mentioned, I don’t care one way or another who wins this game.

Bungs at Bills, Sunday 3:00 pm

I worry again about the Bills this weekend. Like everyone, I want a repeat of Bills-Chefs from last year. However, as I said to Craig yesterday, while I like Allen, I hate him, too. He thinks he’s Mahomes. It doesn’t need to be said. Nevertheless, after that amazing analysis up there, I need to flesh this section out a bit more. So, let me definitively say, “Josh, sweetie, you are no Patrick Mahomes.” Stop trying to be. Play within your game and you will be fine against the Bungs. Because, if I get mothereffing Joe Burrow in the Super Bowl again, I hold you personally responsible.

Pokes at 9ers, Sunday 6:15pm

If I bet on this stupid sport, I’d put my mortgage on the 9ers in this game. They, by far, come into this weekend as the most complete and healthy (in spite of Jimmy G-sus) team. The Pokes defense, when they want to be, can absolutely smother teams. I don’t see that happening this weekend against San Fran.

The Verdict

Truly, only Mahomes makes this 2023 NFL Divisional Round spectacular. Craig said that any potential matchup next weekend is okay with him. I agreed last night, but must have been high on the potential of the hockey game. Today, in the light of a new day, I want Bills/Chefs and Iggs/Pokes. So, we are sure to get Bungs/Chefs and Iggs/9ers. See you next week for the post mortem and conference championships extravaganza.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post Mortem

Introduction

Someone called us out on the page many years ago. They said it focused too much on pop culture and not enough on gaming. After that, I changed the tagline to reflect my “occasional pop culture musings”. During especially active times, that includes movie and TV show reviews. Mostly, I just cover major NFL and college events. One of my favorites ever year is the NFL Wild Card weekend, which I dubbed the Coin Flip Weekend. The NFL, as always tried to upsell us by attaching a “super to the beginning.” I refuse, so this is just a regular old NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post mortem.

Because, honestly, I found none of the games particularly compelling. I think the most controversial thing I texted all weekend was in response to the Bills-Fins game, “Another choke job in the making?” Buffalo played just well enough to avoid that, but I worry about my boy Josh Allen against the horseshoe up Cincy’s ass. More on that in the preview Saturday morning before the games. I forgot until the last minute about my annual previews of the playoffs. Fear not, fans of Flip! I included all of the prognostications in my post mortem.

This year, we upgraded Flip to a Greek coin, a Silver Tetradrachm Bactria bearing the bust of Eucratides. Blame random.org and my weird obsession with Greek things.

Frisco Spanks the Seachickens, 41-23

Prognostications: I picked Frisco. Flip had the 49ers by a count of 52-48.

I admit to thinking that Seattle might have a shot to pull off the upset. Then Brock Purdy things happened (and who knew at the beginning of the year that we would have Brock Purdy things happening in the playoffs?) and Frisco cruised. But they can never take the fact that Geno Smith outperformed Russell Wilson in a major way and reinforced my belief in NFL karma.

Jags Come Back On the Bolts, 31-30, and Shock the World

Prognostications: I foolishly backed the Bolts. Flip believed, 55-45.

Well, they shocked me. Okay, I woke up mildly surprised after catching up on the text chain and seeing the result of the game. You think I’d have more loyalty to the Jags. One year in fantasy football, riddled by injuries at the QB position, I rode Blake Bortles the last few weeks right to one of my two championships. But, like all of the AFC South (and honestly NFC South this year), the best I can muster is thundering indifference. Honestly, I wish we just sent them all overseas and try the NFL Europe experiment again.

Buffalo nearly Buffalos It Away Against the Fins, 34-31

Prognostications: I picked Buffalo in blowout. Flip split it 50-50 with the tiebreaker going to Miami.

A few years ago (maybe many at this point), Buffalo played against New England. They dominated the whole game only to see Golden Boy and the Pats come back on them in spectacular fashion. The game ended on a muffed special teams play and New England won. All I texted Chris was, “That’s why you’re Buffalo.” And, in spite of having a once in a lifetime talent at quarterback, they are still Buffalo.

Gynts and Vikings Forget Their Defenses, 31-24

Prognostications: I picked the Gynts, along with all of the other sharps. Flip gave the Vikings the edge, 51-49

While that score is not particularly high, this game featured almost no defense. Every time I looked up, one team or the other easily gained 15-20 yards and both teams scored seemingly at will. I mean, we all knew Minny was fraudulent all year, but did they have to prove it so convincingly in the playoffs? Ye gods.

Bungs Break Rats’ Hearts, 24-17

Prognostications: Both Flip and I leaned heavily for the Bungs. Him, 55-45

I picked the Bungs. I even put them into one of my fictional future bets to make the Super Bowl. For what it’s worth, I also threw together a long shot of Rats/Pokes that would have paid off my mortgage if it hit. Then, I tuned into the game and witnessed the mess that all AFC North games become and posted. “I’m rooting for the meteor.” Old rivalries die hard, ya’ll Then, I hoped on hope that 1st and goal from the 2 meant that the Rats would pay my mortgage. Alas, the Bungs somehow scored instead and I thought NFL Gamecenter might be drunk. It happens more than you think.

Pokes Get Revenge for Gisele, 31-14

Prognostications: Both I and Flip (54-46) knew Brady is old, but the old man still puts a spook in us.

I texted something about finally being vindicated because Rodgers missed the playoffs and Brady threw for less than 100 in the first half of this game. The “media” started caping pretty hard for the two old guys late in the season and I’m glad they both got theirs. Jason accused me of jinxing it, which I might have, but not even the powerful Lucas jinx can defeat Father Time.

The Verdict

The AFC gives us some potentially great games. The NFC returns serve with two potential ass whippings. I forgot the Coin Flip preview, but remembered the NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post Mortem. Hopefully that bodes well for the previews and post mortems for the remainder of the playoffs. Who knows, we might even get a cameo from the original USFL. What’s that? A teaser? Stay tuned and find out.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2022 NFL Conference Championships: Good, Better, Best

Introduction

Finally, we arrived at the 2022 NFl Conference Championships. This last week felt like it took forever. I covered that already in my last post. I want to use this one to celebrat two posts in two days. The only problem is that, unless I write much faster than my usual pace, this post will go live after at least the Chiefs/Bungs start. All I can do is promise that (even though I have fake money on the games), I will keep from watching the games if I intend to make predictions.

Generally, I don’t make predictions, though. It’s a bit of a miracle that I put even fake money on the games. Dad always said don’t bet on a game where the ball bounces funny. But, I suppose I’ve been listening to too much Simmons and especially Sal and they influenced me. But, I made 2000 fake dollars last week, so maybe I fly to Vegas for the Super Bowl.

2022 NFL Conference Championships (The Mahomes Scale)

A few years ago, I put together a Mahomes scale. I think either it was a modification of the Brady scale or the Brady scale was a modification of the Mahomes scale. In either case, whenever we get to the conference Championships, I rank each matchup by how excited I am to watch them. Obviously, you want more Mahomes (and, by extension less Brady) because he’s quite possibly the most exciting player in the league right now.

Author’s Note: The Chiefs automatically rank as 7 Mahomes. After last week, the Bills get 5 as well. So, a perfect rank on the Mahomes scale is 12 now instead of 10. If Josh Allen improves anymore, we might have to adjust the scale accordingly.

I would watch the f**k out of this

Super Bowl LVI: Cincinnati/San Francisco (0 Mahomes)

I can’t think of a more boring game that this one. Sure, Joe Burrow can be exciting, but the 49ers defense would most likely smother the Cincy offense. I see this one being 13-9 or something along those lines and Bosa becoming only the second defensive player to win MVP. Hold on, let me check those odds. Okay, I’m back. Put 10 bucks to win over 4000 just for giggles. Also, I’m worried because several have made the point that the first Cincy/SF Super Bowl was Madden’s first and he just died. The NFL loves that sentimental bullshit.

Super Bowl LVI: Cincinnati/Los Angeles Rams (3 Mahomes)

If you told me two years ago that Matt Stafford would rank 3 on the Mahomes scale, I’d have either (a) figured that 90% of the league folded or (b) found a way to put a futures bet in for the Lions to win the Super Bowl this year. Maybe both. But, and I reserve the right to change my mind at any point about this, I like Rams Matt Stafford. He’s certainly come a long way from being the butt of my “he’s still in the league” jokes from a few years ago. That’s for sure.

Super Bowl LVI: Kansas City/San Francisco (7 Mahomes)

Okay, now we’re talking. We get Mahomes. We get a rematch from 2 Super Bowls ago. The Frisco defense might be able to keep Mahomes in check, but he always finds a way. Dr. Ian Malcolm warned us. Now we live with the consequences. At least they are mostly positive consequences, like his ultimate “Forgot About Dre” game last week.

Super Bowl LVI: Kansas City/Los Angeles Rams (10 Mahomes)

Aside from the dream match up of watching Mahomes and Allen go at it for 7 games (heck, I’d even settle for 5) and a grand total of 84 (or 60) Mahomes, this is the next best thing. Of the two quarterbacks left in the NFC, the only one I see hanging with Mahomes is Stafford. If the football gods are listening, please make this happen.

The Verdict

The only matchup I hate and never want to see is Cincinnati/San Francisco. Though, I will say, if that parlay hits, I win 2000 fake collars. So, that along with being one of the only games where I cheer for the Bengals almost makes it worth maybe 1 Mahomes in retrospect I’ll take that into consideration and maybe adjust accordingly.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

NFL Divisional Round 2022: Good, Better, Best

Introduction

Welcome to our NFL Divisional Round 2022 reaction post. It’s been a while before since we did one of these. I intended to write this post earlier in the week. I should just name this page “I intended to…” since that’s how most posts begin lately Then, I spend some time explaining why I never wrote the post. It almost always boils down to being busy at school. So, if you’ve heard it all before, feel free to skip to the actual post.

This week grades closed. I needed to grade, try to inspire kids to get caught up, and still advance my lessons. In addition, I promised to go see a boy’s basketball game, a girl’s basketball game (I missed this one because of car difficulties), a girl’s hockey game, a UMass hockey game, and a boy’s hockey game (it got cancelled because of the snow today). As my Facebook memory said, “Being a teacher who gives a shit is exhausting.”

But, I finally get to give my thoughts on the games from last weekend. I apologize in advance because I can’t describe these games without cursing. Let this be your only warning.

Liberal use of the “F” word coming up.

Fucking Aaron Rodgers/Fucking Jimmy G

As one of my students put it, Jimmy G is the luckiest quarterback in the league. As several of the hosts on the podcast I listen to put it, Jimmy G is the most mediocre quarterback since Eli Manning to be this close to going to a second Super Bowl. As I put it in a text to Chris, I guess Jimmy G has part of Brady’s golden horseshoe shoved up his ass. Whatever the case, it’s dumb that I am going to have to mention his name tomorrow in my preview post.

What can I cay about Aaron Rodgers? Keep it simple, Stupid. I replied to a friend from Chicago on Instagram. “Aaron Rodgers is a bum.” Seriously, I fell for the narrative about him being better than Brady, but stuck on less talented teams. He fell far this year, not only on the field, but as a person, too. His goofy gold old boy image melted into that of an out of touch boomer.

Fucking Joe Burrow

It made no difference to me who won this game. I said several times over the week that Bills/Chiefs looked like the AFC Championship. So, I defaulted to rooting against the Titans simply because Matt Tannehill (stupid joke between me and Chris) insults football fans by being a starting quarterback. I hate him almost as much as Jimmy G. I regret that a bit now because the Bungles are one miracle game away from infesting the Super Bowl. C’mon Chiefs.

Cooper Fucking Kupp

We now move to the positive. You can tell it’s now positive because I moved the expletive to the middle. That’s my way to show respect instead of derision. It’s also the first of three texts I sent to Chris throughout the day on Sunday. It followed, “I don’t want to say this too loud, but it looks like no Super Bowl for Brady this year” and “Holy shit, Brady still has part of that golden horseshoe after all.” Author’s Note: I just got news that Brady retired. As I wrote on Instagram, I had fun hating you for 22 years. Enjoy retirement, old man.

Josh FUCKING ALLEN!!!

As you guessed, the second of three texts sent to Chris on Sunday. What an end to that game. Allen secures himself as a top notch quarterback and gets one up on Mahomes. Better luck next year, Patrick. It’s just the Bills year. What’s this? There’s 13 seconds left? I watched the live odds on Fanduel all game and right about now, I saw the Chiefs at +188. I heard they got to 16 to 1, but I never saw that. Honestly, if I did, I’d have figured out a way to put my mortgage on the line at those odds. As weird as it sounds, I knew Mahomes would pull out the win. 13 seconds is too much time.

Patrick Fucking Mahomes

And, just like that, we get more of this game. Really, just more of the Chiefs. Honestly, just more of Mahomes. So high off the end of this game, I text to Chris, “Cincy won’t stay within 3 TDs of KC.” He agrees. Luckily, the students bring me back down to earth on Monday. “They beat KC a couple weeks ago.” Good point.

Also, people both complaining about the overtime rules and telling Buffalo to just stop someone. I see the argument about defense being part of the game and I wanted to see more of that, too. However, if they used college rules, as I (yes, again) texted Chris, “…they’d still be playing.” My original man crush is back and fucking Joe Burrow better not fuck this up for me.

The Verdict

Some said the NFL Divisional Round 2022 was the best weekend of playoff football, maybe ever. I hate when we fall into recency bias like that. I also hate nostalgia bias. What I will say is that Chiefs/Bills game was the most fun I had watching football in a long time. I posted the following picture on my Instagram and I meant it.

I would watch the fuck out of this.

Instead we get the possibility that the Bungs bungle their way in and the 49ers carry Jimmy G’s corpse into the Super Bowl. If that happens, it just follows the crappy narratives of the last two years. But, it has to change eventually, right? Maybe LA and KC are just what we need to exorcise all of these demons. As the NFL Divisional Round 2022 showed us, faith is sometimes rewarded.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Top 10 of 2021: Our Favorites of the Year

Introduction

We unintentionally took 2 months off this year. We played the least amount of games by far this year than any of the other years since starting the page. I can’t explain either of those. It also defies explanation how, in spite of them, we had one of our best years as 2 Guy Gaming. I heard someone say that they just blame everything on Covid. So, let’s go with that and continue with our Top 10 of 2021.

Top 10 of 2021 (Honorable Mention)

  1. Atari 2600 – If I remembered earlier to hook it up, this might have actually made the list. Instead, I just hooked it up the other day and played through a few games of Circus Convoy. The games are so simplistic, but o much fun. Look for this to be on the list next year.
  2. Jackbox Party Pack 8 – I talked about this one in the last article. We played it a couple of times as a family and had an absolute blast. I would have liked to have gotten it working on Christmas to play with a larger group, though.

Top 10 of 2021 (#10-6)

10. Comic Books – Like most of my hobbies, I lost the time I used to devote to comics. I dedicated more time to my job (which, if you’ve been reading the other page, you know didn’t ultimately pay off) and family (worth the investment always). Comics were the first to go. Still, I collect them and enjoyed the storylines when I stopped. I will pick them up again at some point.

9. Football – I swore of the NFL about a decade ago. I simply found less and less enjoyment from watching. Perhaps, as a result, I leaned more heavily into college. It helped that my friend Craig liked college football. More recently, Chris texts me about the NFL. As a result, I watched more the last couple of years and enjoyed it.

8. Hades – This might be higher on the list if I played it before today. As it is, I think being number 8 solely on the recommendation of Chris is pretty good.

7. Geocaching – I found a cache on a whim during our trip to the museum with Quinn in late summer. That triggered something because I started hiking/caching after school and on the weekends. Then, I got the silly idea to try for a full year (366 days) streak of finding geocaches. I’m currently at 118 days. You can follow those adventures here.

6. Dungeons and Dragons Duet – When we tried playing D&D as a family a few years ago, it met with limited success. I wasn’t prepared to be an entertaining and engaging DM and, frankly, maybe the family just didn’t enjoy the game that much. Quinn did, though, and on a whim I bought him some D&D dice. I have also been reading a page on how to play 2 player D&D, called Duets.

Top 10 of 2021 (#5-1)

5. Battlegrounds – I have a love/hate relationship with Hearthstone. Every now and then, it evolves to hate/hate. However, I admit they did something right when they designed Battlegrounds. It takes little time or brain commitment and is a good way to kill 10-15 minutes.

4. Magic the Gathering Arena – In spite of the fact that I played less games this year, I still logged in to MTGA on a daily basis to complete quests and get my “free” loots from the reward track.

3. Disney + – From the best show to come out in recent memory, WandaVision, to the Covid shortened and potentialy ruined Falcon and the Winter Solider. From the Mandalorian to the new Book of Boba Fett. From What if to Hawkeye. I even splurged for their premier access to be able to watch Cruella after prom earlier this year. As with most things, Disney took the streaming service and improved it by leaps and bounds.

2. Marvel Movies are Back – We saw Black Widow in the theaters. Christine, high on girl power, enjoyed that one more than the rest of us. I liked it, but it wasn’t necessary and a huge let down after the last two Avengers masterpieces. Then, we just saw the new Spider-Man movie. Those who say it is the best Marvel movie ever are engaging in hyperbole (both Infinity War and Endgame are better stories and movies), but it is the best live action Spider-Man.

  1. Commander – I wrote several times in the last few months about my adventures in Commander. Chris and I finally played face to face while eating pizza and watching Alabama destroy Georgia in the SEC Championship. He Alabama’d me in the games, but it inspired me to improve my decks for the rematch next month.

The Verrdict

As you see, even though we weren’t active on the page as much this year, we still found time to do the things we enjoy. Maybe this will inspire us to do more of them and write more and, who knows, podcast (inside joke, haha) more. Or, maybe this is one last hurrah and we fade into obscurity. Only one way to find out. Stay tuned.

2021 NFC Preview: An NFL Love Story

Introduction

And, now, time for the 2 Guys Gaming 2021 NFC Preview. I got back to writing for the page after an extended absence and, frankly, a bit of an identity crisis. However, as I said to a friend the other day, I like to write and this page (and my http://www.2guysgaming.net/outdoorsother page) are the only sources of inspiration for that creative outlet right now. And, so, here I am typing once again into the void.

If you’re a regular to the page, you know my story with the NFC. If not, let me take this paragraph to explain. I grew up in Pennsylvania. Born in Pittsburgh, then moved to Erie while still in elementary school, I defaulted to being a Steelers fan. As a result, I paid little to no attention to the NFC other than watching with chagrin as they pummeled the shit out of my AFC teams in the Super Bowl. The Bears gave me one year of respite in 1985 and I watchd with glee that year as they absolutely destroyed the Pats.

LOUISIANA, NO – JANUARY 26: William Perry #72 celebrates after scoring a touchdown against the New England Patriots during Superbowl XX at the Louisiana Superdome January 26, 1986 in New Orleans, Louisiana. The Bears won the Super Bowl 46-10. (Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images)

Yes, it’s true. I have been an anti-fan of the Patriots longer than most people. Their most recent run of success with Belichick and Tom “Terrific” “Golden Boy” Brady only fueled that hatred and crystalized it into the unhealthy obsession you see today. Hell. You might be thinking, “He’s talking about this team in the NFC preview even though they sucked last year and Brady is at Tampa.” Trust me. We’ll get to that.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys (6-10, 3rd place in 2020): I want to like Dak. I understand that, as a Steelers fan, I am legally bound to despise the Cowboys and all they stand for. However, I’ve mentioned before, I’m far less of a Steelers fan these days. Hell, I even rode Dak a couple of years ago in fantasy football. I combo’d him with Amari Cooper. What can I say? I’m a master on the waiver wire.

New York Giants (6-10, 2nd place in 2020): Okay, now that I got rid of about 90% of you and will get rid of the remaining 10% now that I’m talking about the Giants, I can put my secret to a long and healthy life in this paragraph and nobody will ever know it. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Philadelphia Eagles (4-11-1, 4th place in 2020): Remember when the NFC used to be the “best division in football”? Yeah, that’s not true anymore. At least it wasn’t last year. Admittedly, I don’t pay a ton of attention to the offseason. Nevertheless, I don’t see that changing this year.

Washington Football Team (7-9 , 1st place in 2020): The only thing I ever have to say about this team until it changes is, “Dan Snyder is a dick.”

NFC West

Arizona (?) Cardinals (8-8, 3rd place in 2020): Are they still in Arizona? I feel like they moved last year. This is the team that should be in Vegas, not the Raiders. Oh well, neither here nor there. I like their quarterback and I accidentally noticed while visiting family in Pennsylvania that they made some moves. Might be able to sneak in past the overachieving Rams.

Los Angeles Rams (10-6, 2nd place in 2020): Speaking of the Rams, I have nothing else to say. Once upon a time I really liked Sean McVay. Now that I realize he’s just another con in the long history of this country, he offends me to my very core.

San Francisco 49ers (6-10, 4th place in 2020): God, there are a lot of bad teams in this league. Other than the possibility of Trey Lance, I have nothing good to say about the 49ers, either.

Seattle Seahawks (12-4, 1st place in 2020): Thankfully the Seahawks are not one of those terrible teams because, otherwise, one of those terrible teams might win this lousy division just like the Washingtons are the shit that rose to the top in the East. Here’s to you, Seahawks. Thanks for keeping Jimmy G and Jared Goff out of the playoffs.

NFC North

Chicago Bears (8-8, 2nd place in 2020): I think the Mitch Trubisky experiment is over in Chicago. Yes, a quick Google search confirms that. Too bad because I liked Mitch. But, I’m also ready to see what Fields can do once Andy Dalton and Nick Foles both go down with an injury.

Detroit Lions (5-11, 4th place in 2020): You could tell me literally anything about the Lions and I’d believe you. I have paid no attention to the Lions other than the fact that they are on in the background for 3 hours on Thanksgiving every year.

Green Bay Packers (13-3, 1st place in 2020): I sold out completely in rooting for Green Bay/Kansas City in the Super Bowl last year that when the Packers lost to Tompa, I all but gave up on the season. Given the Chiefs injuries, Green Bay probably would have rolled them, too. But, at least I wouldn’t have had to watch Tom Brady win another damn Super Bowl.

Minnesota Vikings (7-9, 3rd place in 2020): The Vikings defense was almost historic a couple of years ago. This year, I only heard about them because their quarterback is an idiot anti-vaxxer. So, should be a good year for them, right?

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons (4-12, 4th place in 2020): For a few years there, I wanted to ship the entire NFC South (and AFC South) to Europe as my plan to expand into that market. Glad to see the Falcons are still upholding that fine tradition.

Carolina Panthers (5-11, 3rd place in 2020): I had two different layovers in Carolina cities this summer. Also, my wife wants to visit the Outer Banks. None of that, obviously, is relevant. The same can be said for the Panthers recently.

New Orleans Saints (12-4, 1st place in 2020): Before Aaron Rodgers, I wanted Drew Brees and the Saints to end Tompa’s inevitability. Obviously, that did not happen. Now, Brees is retired and Jameis Winston is the quarterback. If nothing else, the Saints will be exciting this year.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (11-5, 2nd place in 2020): Eff the Bucs.

The Verdict

Other than a few noted exceptions, I can go back to my childhood habit of ignoring the NFC until they break my heart in the Super Bowl.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2021 AFC Preview: An NFL Love Story

Introduction

It has been nearly two months since you heard anything from us here at 2 Generations Gaming. That begs a couple of questions. Why were we gone for so long? Why are we back now? So, before I give you our 2021 AFC Preview, let me answer those questions for you as best I can.

Why were we gone for so long? I’m nothing, if not honest. Therefore, I will give you the honest answer here. The truth of the matter is that we here at the page had an honest to goodness identity crisis. Chris and I planned, twice, to record another episode in an attempt to get the podcast rolling again and both times, we failed. I take full responsibility for this failure.

One time I simply forgot. The other, it ended up being Father’s Day.

Why are we back now? As a result of that, we came to a tentative agreement to consider the web page dead. I lapsed on the payments until they sent the email telling me that they shut it off. I considered calling it then. Truth be told, I probably should. This page has had almost no reach and I honestly have no clue how to find my way in this new online environment.

I realize that none of that explains why we are back now. It actually explains better why we would consider never returning. I suppose the only viable answer to the question is that I’m both stubborn and hopelessly optimistic. As Marc Maron derisively said once on his show, “Without any gatekeepers, anyone thinks they can do this.” So, let’s keep this delusion going for a little while longer, at least.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (13-3, 1st place in 2020): I enjoy when Buffalo is good. Most of it is because I grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania and Buffalo was one of our “home” teams. Cleveland was the other. Curiously, Pittsburgh, in the same state as Erie, was only shown when the other teams were blacked out. NFL TV rules are sometimes weird.

Miami Dolphins (10-6, 2nd place in 2020): Regular readers of the page (all half a dozen of you) know that I have a major man crush on Tua Tagovailoa. Immediately after he threw the touchdown in the National Championship game, I texted my friend Craig to tell him Iwas in love. Last year was a mixed bag for my man. Hoping he turns it around this year.

New England Patriots (7-9, 3rd place in 2020): Chris, the other names participant on this page, is a Patriots fan. I grew up a Steelers fan, but consider myself more of a nomad these days. Nevertheless, we text about the Patriots and Steelers on the regular. Surprisingly,the news of Cam’s release only elicited a single text and reply. Then again, maybe not all that surprising.

New York Jets (2-14, 4th place in 2020): I freely admit my shrtcomings on this page regularly. One of those is that I will periodically forget that teams exist. As I ran through the 4 teams in the East, Ihad to look up the fourth team, the Jets. I know precisely nothing about the team this year.

AFC West

Denver Broncos (5-11, 4th place in 2020): I should have done some research before writing this preview. In my defense, Simmons and Sal haven’t done their week 1 “Guess the Line” show, if they are still doing it. I haven’t been able to find anything online about it. Hope it’s still happening. They get me through the Friday afternoon commute.

Kansas City Chiefs(14-2, 1st place in 2020): Mahomes was my first man crush of this new crop of young QBs and looked to be the guy to retire Old Man Brady. Alas, injuries to his offensive line and Tompa selling out to win last year derailed that storyline for the moment. But, I still love my man and forever will.

Las Vegas Raiders (8-8, 2nd place in 2020): So, I watched the The Hangover Trilogy again a few weeks ago. Then, on my shuttle to the Logan to fly to Pennsylvania to visit family, two ladies were excited about their trip to Vegas. I imagine both are infinitely more entertaining than anything the Raiders will do this year.

San Die…er, Los Angeles Chargers (7-9, 3rd place in 2020): They will forever be the San Diego Chargers to me. Aside from that fun fact, I’m all in on Justin Hebert, but it’s not a man crush. I’ll drop him like a bad habit if he can’t stay in form this year.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens (11-5, 2nd place in 2020): I mentioned earlier that I used to be a Steelers fan. On some level, I always will be. However, I also consider myself a bit of a free agent. Given autonomy over my fandom, I might actually like the Ravens and Browns more than the Steelers. Talk about an about face.

Cincinatti Bengals (4-11-1, 4th place in 2020): Even though I like Joe Burrows and want him to succeed, I will not root for the Bengals. Fuck them guys.

Cleveland Browns (11-5, 3rd place in 2020): The Browns, on the other hand. Love them Browns. I’ve loved Baker ever since college. The talking heads shit on him for being too much of a college student after they shit on Tim Tebow for not being enough of one. Hoping the North comes down to a race between the new and old Browns.

Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4, 1st place in 2020): My grandfather (and possibly my father) is rolling over in his grave after my comments about the Ravens and Browns. I don’t want to break their hearts even further, so I will leave it at that.

AFC South

Houston Texans (4-12, 3rd place in 2020): For a few years there, everyone was enamoured with JJ Watt and picked the Texans to win the AFC. And, every year, they finished under .500. Thankfully, that trend seems to have passed.

Indianapolis Colts (11-5, 2nd place in 2020): If you asked me to give you the Indianapolis Colts record to save someone I love from a Jigsaw style trap, they’d be the one dead before the opening credits.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-15, 4th place in 2020): They have a new stud quarterback. They have the new hotness as head coach. They had a new running back. Well, they still do, but he’s on the injured list for the year, so he’s not going to contribute much. The past few years I advocated for sending the Jags permanently to Europe to start expansion into that continent. They can stay this year.

Tennessee Titans (11-5, 1st place in 2020): I liked the Titans as the Bills nemesis in the playoffs last year and look forward to that rivalry blossoming into the future. Aside from that, I don’t have much to say about them.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my 2021 AFC Preview. I expect more of the same out of the conference. KC will toy with everyone and maybe flirt with an undefeated season. The AFC South will disappoint me and I’ll be talking about shipping them all overseas by midseason. One thing that will be a surprise is that I might actually root for the Patriots this year. I want Mac Jones to be successful and that’s been enough in the past for me to bury the hatchet and start rooting for a team. Join me soon for the NFC!

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

We Love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City

Introduction

After yesterday’s awkward attempt to find good things about Tom Brady winning another Super Bowl, I present our preview of Super Bowl LV: Kansas City. Unlike a few years ago, I have an actual rooting interest in this game. To be perfectly honest, it might be quicker to list the reasons I don’t want Kansas City to win this game.

Because there are this many…

So, in the interest of finishing this article before the game starts, I will keep it under five. Just off the top of my head, I have three, so once I get writing, to stay consistent with yesterday’s article, I will stick to those three. Let’s explore, then, my top three reasons we love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City.

Travis Kelce

I never concerned myself much with Kelce. Occasionally, I picked him for my daily fantasy lineup. Usually, I won money in those instances. I guess that says something about the dehumanizing nature of professional sports. Maybe I just don’t have the time to keep track of my family, students, and also over 1600 NFL players. Hell, I barely even know all of the players on the Steelers and they’re supposedly my favorite team.

Editor’s Note: I stopped writing about here. Then, I went for a snow shoe with my wife. After, I cooked lunch and dinner while watching our Super (Heroes, not Bowl) marathon. And, so, it is that I’m finishing this article after the fact. I have to admit. It’s a bit depressing all things considered.

Andy Reid

I gave Andy Reid a ton of crap in the past. And, with good reason. The guy never met a clock management situation that he didn’t screw up. Then, something happened. That something isn’t just Patrick Mahomes. Granted, getting Patrick Mahomes helped greatly.

But, Reid just sort of started going for it. He ignored the tendencies that were holding him back and blew the lid off of the NFL. The league is a copycat league and so many coaches are now going for it on fourth down. Sure, you might argue this stems from Belichick and in some ways, I agree with that assessment. But, it’s taken a giant teddy bear like Andy Reid and his genius offensive coordinator, Eric Bieniemy, to make the moves more mainstream. There’s only one person I will feel more happy for than Andy Reid if the Chiefs win this game.

Patrick Mahomes

He already captured the league’s imagination and adoration. He won both a regular season and a Super Bowl MVP. And, he’s only 25 years old. A second consecutive championship cements him as one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

Did I mention that he’s only 25 years old? I may hold back my love and enjoyment of watching Josh Allen or Tua play. That has never been the case with Patrick Mahomes. He just makes football fun again for me. That’s been sorely missing for the last 15 years or so. The Chiefs truly can represent a seismic shift in the way football is played. Their 25 year old starting quarterback is at the helm of all that.

The Verdict

Apologies that I didn’t get this Super Bowl LV: Kansas City preview out before the game. I wanted so badly to finish it and meet that deadline. Instead, I have to waltz in with my tail between my legs confident in the fact that I was completely wrong about this game. Well, not completely wrong. I did text Chris a few days ago that my paranoia ran rampant at the news that Kansas City’s entire offensive line was backups. Like I just texted him, “Football is so unforgiving because it is only one game.” Oh well, Mahomes is 25 and hopefully this loss gives him some inspiration to come out and kick butt next year.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

We Love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay

Introduction

What do we love about Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay? Not really anything. No offense to them. What do we hate about Tampa Bay? As that represents the original title of the article, surely I can give you several reasons why. Well, about that. I simply named the article that originally to be in contrast with the “We love” article tomorrow about the Chiefs. However, my headline analyzer, even though it talks about strong emotion words, clearly values positive emotion over negative.

Sorry, Buddy.

What makes me indifferent about Tampa Bay? That’s a far less interesting proposition. However, to be true to myself, I must explore that. I mean, I did spend two or three paragraphs trying to convince my readers that I don’t hate Tom Brady. You may argue that I wasn’t persuasive in my argument and I might agree with that. However, I promise you. I don’t hate Tom Brady nearly as much as I did when he played for the Patriots. Something about that unholy union of player and team rubbed me the wrong way.

And, so, I will take inspiration from the fact that my headline analyzer pushed me to focus on the positive. If I search my feelings, can I find legitimate reasons to be happy if the Bucs win this Super Bowl? Join me then for We Love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay.

Bruce Arians

Bruce Arians coached the Steelers offense once upon a time. I texted Chris, “Arians is the last time the Steelers had a viable offense that I trusted.” He and Ben never saw eye to eye, which means that Ben, for some reason, didn’t like Arians or his offense. For some reason, the Steelers hitched their wagon to Ben and so Arians went packing.

All he did was reinvigorate the Arizona Cardinals and then landed in Tampa Bay and dumbed into coaching Tom Brady. Ben and the Steelers started off a suspect 11-0 before falling completely apart and lost two straight games to the Cleveland Browns. I think we can all agree the Steelers made the wrong decision between the two.

Plus, the man can dress.

Gronkenstein

Being the only member of the Patriots that received a cute nickname from me, Gronk holds a special place in my heart. By all rights, I should hate him as much as I hated most of the other players on the team, if not more. For reasons I can’t explain, I actually love the lunk.

I texted Chris that he would return next year. Chris wondered why. I responded, “What else will he do? Sell his name to shady CBD companies?” “Good point,” Chris replied. The guy has the personality to be an announcer. However, I don’t see anyone actually hiring him. Maybe he could fill the Moose Johnson role for some network.

Anything Else?

Honestly, nope. I should be excited to witness the history of Tom Brady winning 7 out of 10 Super Bowls. I mentioned in a previous article that “been there, done that” prevents me from experiencing that particular sense of joy.

Leonard Fournette can take a hike. He dissed my man Blake Bortles when he said earlier in the season that it would feel good to finally play with a decent quarterback. Likewise, Antonio Brown’s and Ndamukong Suh’s histories both preclude me from feeling anything but contempt.

The Verdict

We most certainly do not love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay. Sure, I’ll be happy for Gronk and Arians. I’m not sure that those feelings of joy will outweigh the great sadness I feel for Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. As you know, I don’t even watch the Super Bowl anymore. Because I am the only football fan, bout a decade or so ago, we came up with the idea to watch a movie marathon instead of the game. This year, we decided to watch Super Hero movies, so I may not even tune into the Gamecast. In any case, join me tomorrow for my Chiefs preview.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).