Month: April 2021

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Cringe Worthy

Prologue

To be honest, this will probably be the first entry that I genuinely have difficulty writing. Never mind the fact that of the top I despise the phrase “cringe worthy”. I don’t see the point to nor the benefit of answering the question posed today. Plus, it’s raining right now. Granted, that means little here in New England where the silly saying is, “If you don’t like the weather, wait a few minutes.” However, even if it stops raining, I’m not feeling terribly inspired nor motivated today.

Both the bigger boys started back to school this week. Our vacations don’t line up anymore because New Hampshire and Massachusetts stagger them. Quinn does remote school until about 1 and Christine stays at school until 5 o clock most nights now that she’s an assistant principal. Besides, I stayed up way too late/early in the morning (to yesterday’s post) watching 30 for 30 documentaries on Hulu. That always saps my motivation the next day. I can’t even find enough to work out and I look forward to that every day.

As a result, today’s entry may not be accompanied by any “outdoor adventure”, not even a walk around town with the Bups. I looked up the weather and it is supposed to break in the rain this afternoon into this evening, so maybe Christine and I will walk today. This page certainly hasn’t lived up to the adventure part just yet. I need to plan out some hikes, even if they are ones that I’ve done before. As I hold out hope that the rain clears and update my Strixhaven review on the main page, ponder today’s question with me.

Question: Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

Journal

It never stopped raining. Unlike Liam, I decided not to brave the weather and stayed comfy and cozy in the house all day. And so, no outdoor adventure today, not even quick walk to the library like yesterday. Additionally, as mentioned, I have no interest in answering this question. And, so, I regret to inform that today’s entry will end with no conclusion.

Epilogue

I apologize for the half assed nature of this journal. Perhaps that, in and of itself is “cringe worthy”. I like to think that I’m not that meta, but perhaps I outsmarted even myself with this one. Probably not. It’s just one of those days. See you tomorrow.

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Your Time To Shine

Prologue

Your time to shine refers to the time of the day that you prefer.

Question: Early bird, or night owl?

Seems like an easy question, right? I mean this is where I say, “Not so fast” and proceed to write a long form essay on the benefits of all the times of day, right? Not so fast on that not so fast. Honestly, how much can I be expected to writ about that particular subject? Thankfully, unlike yesterday, our “outdoor adventure” was not nearly as adventurous, either. This will be a quick post overall.

Today, Quinn and I walked with Lilo down to the library. Quinn wanted to check out a book and as has been established, when we have the time, Lilo and I go for a walk. Two birds and all that. Someone posted something on Facebook a few weeks ago that I shared. It said, “Adulthood is dumb. Nobody offers to show me a cool rock anymore.” It reminded me of a similar one that said, “Adulthood is dumb. Nobody asks me what my favorite dinosaur is” or something along those lines. When I shared both, I remarked that the person needed to find better friends.

I talk about cool rocks all the time. I’m not as into dinosaurs, but I will always sit and watch the latest Jurassic whatever with Quinn. Speaking of Quinn, he’s the reason I bring up these two ridiculous Facebook quandaries. During the walk, he asked the following question, “Do you think you can see Dynamax Pokemon from space?” I hope he never loses that curiosity. I know he will. We all do. What I really hope is that, like me, he finds it again.

Your Time To Shine

So, early bird or night owl? The answer to this question has, and always will be (I think), a night owl. Working as a teacher forced me to come to grips with the fact that there is a 6 am, too, but I never feel fully human until about 8 o’clock or so. I enjoy the silence of the house after 9 pm when everyone goes to bed. True, it is just as quiet at 5 am before everyone gets up, but I don’t feel like I have that freedom to watch 4 straight episodes of Portlandia or watch Deadpool again for the fifteenth time, as I did the other night with Aiden on the eve of the eve of his first day back to in person learning in over a year.

So, in spite of the fact that my alarm goes off every morning during the school year at 5:30 am, I stay up for just one more episode. Forget the fact that I’m actually awake at 4:00 am most mornings and can’t fall back to sleep because I’m worried about how the school day will go. I will still play some Minecraft or Atari 2600. That reminds me. I need to get that video recorded to upload. Maybe at 2 in the morning after I watch some ridiculous documentary about The Dana Carvey Show or Back to the Future.

Epilogue

Wednesday usually represents that day in vacation where I start to notice the passage of time and mourn (ever so slightly) my return to school. Today, that manifested as a shorter walk and more time on the computer to update the main 2 Guys Gaming page and this one. I will say that doesn’t leave much for tonight, so maybe I will actually get a chance to record that video for the YouTube page. After all, late at night is my time. What about you? What’s your time to shine?

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Wall to Wall

Prologue

From the windows to the wall (to wall?),

Till the sweat drops from my….

Well, that’s as far as I can get in that little ditty before things get a little too risque for a “family friendly web page”. Sure, you may argue that me naming “The Stand” as a book I’ve read over and over treads into dangerous territory. However, I kept it clean and anything that people discover from reading the book is the responsibility of Mr. King. So, read “The Stand” at your own risk, I suppose.

Lilodini, Escape Artist

Yesterday, I put “outdoor adventure” in quotes because it was “just a walk with the pup”. Oh my, a quoted phrase follow up to a formerly quoted phrase. This is gonna be good. Trust me. It was. I just hope that I can do it justice. We walked our usual route and made it about halfway. She tied herself around a light pole as she sometimes does. I tried to extract her from that predicament. This is where it goes sideways.

She somehow slipped her lead as I tried to save her. She looked at me. I looked at her. I knew I had 15 seconds, at most, until she realized and took advantage of her freedom. “Lilo”, I said as calmly and non threatening as I could manage. She cocked her head. I repeated her name. She cocked her head the other way. I risked taking a step towards her. Big mistake. The spell broke and she ran across the street, somehow managing to barely be missed by two cars, one coming in either direction.

I sighed. Having experience chasing Reese when he was a puppy, I knew this could take at least a half and hour and might even take all day.

Lilopocalypse, Destroyer of Walks

As luck would have it, a runner approached us and tried to help. At first, she seemed amenable to this kind stranger. Then, something inside her snapped. She either detected danger or wanted to test her newly found voice. She did her new barking at strangers thing that she recently discovered. He looked at me. I reassured him that she is not a threat. He trusted me initially. As the intensity of her barking increased, he reassessed the situation and his part in it and ran for it. She boxed him in a few times, perhaps as a last FU to me and my initial reassurances. Eventually, her short attention span ran out, she got bored, and allowed him to escape.

Resuming her game of chicken with a suddenly busy Main Street. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. But, I live in Orange, Massachusetts. As I’ve been telling people recently, we have Trailhead, Wal*Mart, a brewery, and now a dispensary if that’s your thing. Busy Main Street here is usually the line of busses either dropping off or picking up students from school. This was about 5:30, the usual rush hour for a city. The universe’s sense of humor continued to taunt me.

Spider-Lilo: Homecoming

I tried the old, “Fine, I guess you’re staying here and living here forever.” She smiled. I know people think that dogs can’t smile, but she did. It was one of those sardonic, taunting side smiles that Captain America always gives before saying, “I can do this all day.” As far as I knew, that’s exactly what she wanted. To become a vagrant dog wandering along Main Street in Orange, Massachusetts waiting for unsuspecting people to come along and begging for food and pets.

One of the residents came out of her house with one of those toothbrush treats. I’m sure she heard some of my colorful language and prepared to call the cops on this raving lunatic abusing (note, there was no actual abuse) his poor dog. Proving that she was just being obstinate, Lilo came right over to take the treat and then bolted when we tried to detain her. After another couple of rounds of dodging traffic (she had to have gotten a high score on Frogger), she relented and realized the we had both food and water for her. She allowed me to attach her leash and we walked home without further incident. Oh, we did see the runner from earlier waiting to cross the street, but I slowed my pace to allow him to avoid our tyranny.

The question for today: What do you display on the walls of your home — photos,
posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

Journal Part 1 – “Wall to Wall (at School)”

I have a memory wall in my classroom. I don’t remember how it started. I’m not sure how I’ve chosen everything to display. I can’t even reliably identify any particular mood that I’m trying to elicit. Is nostalgia a mood? I suppose it can be considered as such. I mean with the social media hashtagization of life, anything can be #MoodAF, right? Well, I’ll let you decide for yourself.

I have artwork from the students (both serious and funny), a Christmas card from two years ago with a poetic quote about Mathematics, a couple of programs from theater productions put on by the school, a thank you card that I received from a student this year, and a memorial card of a student who passed away last school year. See, if nostalgia is a mood, that’s the one I’m trying to elicit with the memory wall.

Journal Part 2 – “Wall to Wall (at Home)”

I actually thought long and hard about how to answer this question for my wall decorations at home. Do I talk about the room I’m currently in and where I spend most of my time? In that case, it is decorated with many pictures of the family. To be honest, that’s how most of the walls in the house is decorated. So, the mood is, again, nostalgia. There is also one of those inspirational sayings on the wall, “May our home know joy, each room hold laughter, every window open to great possibilities.” What can I say? Christine chose the decorations.

If we consider a room that has walls decorated by me, we have to look at the former playroom, then game room, and now Aiden’s bedroom. The walls contain posters from various Marvel properties, the cardboard inserts from Magic the Gathering bundles, miscellaneous treasures from Loot Crate, YuGiOh and Pokemon, and a partridge in a pear tree. As far as I know, that last one is a joke. It could be true. I haven’t looked closely at everything up there.

So, what’s this mood? Your guess is as good as anyone’s. It just sort of matches the chaos of nerditude that circulates in my brain 24/7. Comics, video games, CCG, RPG, board games, miniatures…You can get a taste of that chaos on the main page, if you like.

Epilogue

My choice in wall decorations seem to always want to bring nostalgia alive. I often say that I’m not much for nostalgia, but I’ve amended that as I’ve gotten older. I’m not one for “forced nostalgia”. I don’t like being told that I miss a certain era or brand simply because that brand wants me to spend money. Like when they tried to make Woodstock a yearly festival back in the 90s and the spirits of the old hippies haunted them until the last one ended in violence. Don’t mess with the hippies, Man. But, give me a pack of Magic the Gathering cards, an RPG source book, or emulator to play my favorite old games and you’ll keep me busy for hours on end as I reminisce with my friends via text about how great things used to be.

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Second Time Around

Introduction

I guess “Second Time Around” has a couple of meanings in this post. It’s been about 3 years since I’ve updated this page in any significant way. To be honest, I left it for dead and completely forgot it existed. When my students asked if I had a “blog”, I thought they found the main page. They most likely meant this page because some of them found the Instagram associated with this blog. Then again, perhaps they just wanted to troll me a bit with their questions. Who knows with that bunch?

Rest assured that I didn’t reboot this page simply to talk about my high school students. Instead, I’m feeling inspired once again to get outside and share my experiences. Truth be told, this page probably wouldn’t have seen the light of day again if not for a series of coincidences. Of course, that can be said about much of my life.

Around the time that I abandoned this page, I started a journal. The main purpose of that journal was to highlight the good, assess the previous 3 or so years where depression took over for most of that time, and attempt to reverse the damage caused by that depression. I completed that journal and started a new on this year. I found that I was having difficulty keeping the new journal updated.

So, I searched for a “daily journal prompt” web page. I found one that finally delivered on that promise. Instead of using it to update my paper journal (which sits in my school bag, untouched again for another week), I decided to use it to inspire me to keep this page updated more regularly. Choose an outdoor adventure, I thought, and build your daily entry around that day’s theme. Since I’m on April break this week, what better time to test that theory?

The trick, then, as discussed with Chris about trying to reboot my abandoned YouTube page, is how do I stay inspired once I am back in school and no longer on break? I brainstormed a way to keep the YouTube page relevant by recording retro content on my new 2600 emulator because those games are short and I could generate a ton of content in just an hour of playing. This page, though, requires generally a commitment of at least an hour just for the hike alone. Oh well, cross that bridge (and most likely burn it) when we get there.

Journal Part 1 – “Second (Third, Fourth, Fifth, etc) Time Around – ‘The Stand'”

The theme of today is “Second Time Around” with a prompt of “Tell us about a book you can read again and again without getting bored — what is it that speaks to you?” Anyone who knows me knows that the only answer to this question is Stephen King’s “The Stand”. I first read the book as a teenager. At the time, I also read “It”, “Bag of Bones”, “Different Seasons”, and “Hearts in Atlantis”.

People assumed I was a Stephen King fan. In fact, I only liked those specific books by him. I enjoyed “Bag of Bones” so much, I unintentionally wrote an homage to it with my own book, “Siren Song”. My students, by the way, got me to admit to that book and “From Shadows”. What can I say? They’ve been instrumental in helping me in my journey back from depression. If any of you find this, know that and know that I am eternally grateful to you for your help during this time.

I reread “The Stand” again in my 20s, my 30s, and then listened to the audiobook twice over during my time as a custodian at Northfield Elementary School three years ago. Not once did the book ever bore me. And, so, I answered the first part of the question. What about the second part? What is it that speaks to me?

Journal Interlude #1 – “A Note About Hunter Biden”

Seeing as how politics encroached on every aspect of our lives, half of my potential reading audience just tuned out and started crafting an angry letter to the editor. For those of you who stayed, let me explain. Marc Maron recently interviewed Hunter and I listened to the interview during my “outdoor adventure” today. I put outdoor adventure in quotes because I simply walked around town with the dog and stopped at the post office to pick up a package.

To the point, during the interview Marc said something that resonated. Speaking of addiction, he said, “You don’t want to kill yourself, but you don’t care if you do.” I’m not an addict. That’s damning in and of itself, right? Like being a racist, once you have to defend yourself against addiction, you’ve already lost.

In any case, I made that exact statement more than once during my healing phase over the last few years. I realized that’s exactly what I was doing. I wasn’t consciously trying to kill myself, but the drinking, food, and other poor health habits could have done the job. There are still visits to my doctor open, so who knows? Maybe it eventually will. Sorry, that got dark. Let’s see if I can turn it around.

Journal – “Second (Third, Fourth, Fifth, etc) Time Around – What About ‘The Stand’ Speaks To Me?”

The book starts innocently enough. Frannie Goldsmith lives in scenic Ogunquit, Maine. She and her boyfriend break up. Stu Redman hangs out with his loser buddies at a gas station in Texas. Larry Underwood hits “high bottom” (more addiction talk) and comes crawling back to his childhood home. The characters in the book are more well rounded and I feel like I know them better than many of the people in my own life. King, in the foreword for the extended edition of the book, says, “Often I will receive mail from people asking how Fran and Stu are doing as if I get regular updates from them.” As a frustrated writer, the closest I came to that was my wife asking, “What happens next?” when reading an early copy of my manuscript.

A series of unfortunate events (a book series I also very much enjoy) leads to the ultimate showdown between good and evil and an unlikely hero who saves the day. That sentence feels like one of those “explain the plot of a book poorly” challenges that they have on social media all the time. If I’m being honest, the plot isn’t one of the reasons that I keep coming back to the book. It’s a typical religious allegory. Well, there’s got to be more to this book than the characters, right? Well, actually, uh, no. I’ve learned about myself that I can forgive weak dialogue and flimsy plot as long as the characters are strong.

As a teenager, I lived for the chaos of Trash, Flagg, and Harold. In my 20s, I latched onto the friendship between Tom and Nick. My 30s, with the aforementioned pending addiction issues and suicidal thoughts, Larry Underwood became my avatar in the apocalypse. Most recently, having lived through those (so far) addiction issues and suicidal thoughts, I longed for the “normalcy” of Frannie’s and Stu’s life in Colorado. Like I said, it just hits different each time.