Time for the NFC first quarter 2020 year in review! After some trouble updating the page on a regular basis, it looks like I might actually get content posted two days in a row. It is also somewhat timely content again. Yesterday, I got the AFC version posted. I promised to have the NFC version posted today. Got some grading done earlier, so I don’t feel guilty about school work right now.
I do have some yard work to do. Plus, my neighbor is helpfully actually doing his so that I feel more guilty about it than I normally would. Yay for living in a society. However, it hasn’t made me feel guilty enough yet to actually do the work. Heck, I have until tomorrow since I have the day off from school.
But, I have a paper to write for grad class and more grading to do for school. Also, I have my own deadline for the Spawn review to keep the momentum of the page going. If I had to guess, that’s going to get put on the back burner, but maybe I’ll actually get around to the yardwork today and writing some of the paper, too. Sorry, thinking out loud on paper. Let’s ignore all of that for now and talk about the NFC first quarter 2020.
Philadelphia Eagles (1-2-1): We’re #1! By default, but still Award. Some pundits thought that the Cowboys might have an actual decent to possibly good team this year. I might have heard that they were being considered as Super Bowl contenders. Well, that obviously hasn’t happened. The East might just give us a sub 500 division winner. That’s fitting for this stupid year.
Washington Football Team (1-3): Dan Snyder is a Huge Dick Award. Daniel Snyder finally capitulated to the snowflake justice warriors at FedEx and retired the racist nickname for his team. In true Snyder fashion, he thumbed his nose by refusing to pick another mascot and just called them “Football Team” for this year. What a dick.
Dallas Cowboys (1-3): We are overrated and NFL talking heads are overpaid Award. I already talked about the Cowboys in the Eagles section. Since they don’t really warrant any more discussion, I will crap on the NFL talking heads again. Yes, you might be able to make the argument that I’m jealous. That doesn’t take away from the fact that the economy surrounding sports is completely broken.
New York Giants (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. These guys are cowinners of this award. Heck, now that Barkley is hurt, what possible reason do either the Jets or the Giants have for continuing this season?
Seattle Seahawks (4-0): There’s A Football Team in Seattle? Award. This is a reference to a conversation I had several years ago when I was working at Yankee Candle. A coworker said something about the football team in Seattle and I replied, truly confused, “There’s a football team in Seattle?”
Los Angeles Rams (3-1): I Thought These Guys Were Exposed as Frauds Award. After a stellar start as coach, it looked like the league might have figured out that Sean McVay basically only had one formation in his playbook. A 3-1 start doesn’t necessarily reverse that, but they are in good shape right now.
Arizona Cardinals (2-2): Kyler Murray isn’t Quite the Second Coming of Mahomes Yet Award. Everyone got very excited about Kyler Murray this year. They thought that he might have ascended into Mahomes territory. Heck, I even fell for it, texting Chris if I should take Murray or Wilson as my QB in daily fantasy. Thankfully, he set me straight and told me to take Wilson.
San Francisco 49ers (2-2): Ghost of Colin Kaepernick Award. They’re not 0-4, which would make this a better storyline. However, they did blow a lead in last year’s Super Bowl and Jimmy G is developing quite the injury history. Maybe, just maybe, they will face justice for their treatment of Kaep.
Green Bay Packers (4-0): Father Time is Undefeated? Award. We are told that in the Father Time is undefeated. It looked like that might have finally been the case last year for Tom Brady. It’s not like he’s tearing it up this year, but he was having a bit of a resurgence. Meanwhile, Rodgers just keeps slinging it without any sign of slow down.
Chicago Bears (5-1): The King is Dead. Long Live the King Award. I made a comment in the Bills section at Mitch Trubisky’s expense. It’s a shame because I was really rooting for old Mitch to finally figure it out. He didn’t and now they’ve moved on to Nick Foles. Foles has proven time and again that he is the perfect short term stop gap, so it’s not all bad in Chicago this year.
Minnesota Vikings (1-3): If He Dies, He Dies Award. While discussing the impact of Covid19 on the league, Kirk Cousins said something along those lines. Does Kirk Cousins really have the clout to be going on so about such issues? What I mean to say is, other than his family, would anyone mourn Kirk Cousins? I know that got dark and I apologize. But, am I wrong?
Detroit Lions (1-3): Matthew Stafford is still in the League? Award. I’m pretty sure I already made my annual Matt Stafford joke. But, the fact that I literally just had to Google to see if his name was, in fact, Matt Stafford says a lot about his status. The only question now is who will take his place when he finally does retire?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2): TB Are Now His Initials and Those of His Team Award. Tom Terrific took his travelling side show down south for this year. I’ve been having fun trolling the Pats fans on my Facebook feed because they were convinced after week 1 that TB would end up 0-16 and they’d be able to gloat over it. Not so fast, folks.
New Orleans Saints (2-2): Drew Brees is Surprisingly Bigoted Award. I’ve always liked Brees. He’s a short guy who is excelling at a job that short guys don’t often excel. But, then this whole focus on the family crap came out and I just can’t root for him anymore. I’m glad the Saints are struggling this year.
Carolina Panthers (2-2): Sweet Caroline Award. There’s no reason for this title other than the obvious dad joke pun. The Panthers have made absolutely no impact on me whatsoever this year. They are just part of the amorphous blob that is the NFL in the South. Maybe we should do a trial run of this separated states of America by allowing the South to secede from the NFL.
Atlanta Falcons (0-4): How Many Ways Can We Blow A Lead? Award. I’m not sure what bad juju the Falcons unleased. However, they’ve been cursed ever since taking a 28-3 lead on the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. They’ve since dialed it up to 11 this year. They’ll be fun to watch simply for the train wreck possibility.
The Verdict (NFC First Quarter 2020 has been entertaining so far)
While I’m not sold on the AFC yet this year (other than the Chiefs), I like what I’ve seen in the NFC. Things are a bit crazy. Even the bad teams are fun to watch. The worst division in football is the NFC East, which is fitting because they were pumped up for so long as the best simply because of the legacy of teams. The Racists are no longer going by that name. All in all, it’s been an entertaining NFC first quarter 2020 and I can’t wait to see how it plays out going forward.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).