Introduction
This is the episode that I said to myself when I first watched it, “This show is so fucking good. I want it to last forever.” I repeated that statement twice, once when I told my friend about the show and once when I told Aiden. You will see in the recap where that happened. I’ve seen people online (Redditors, mostly) who nit pick the show for every tiny little mistake or error. But, I refuse to be one of them. Good luck and have fun. That’s my motto.
Don’t Think of Them as Human Beings. Think of Them As Americans
They’re coming! They’re coming! People running through the woods. Maple leaf on the sign in the background. No! alarms in the background gunshots vertibird hovers in Lord thunderin Jesus. Halt, back to the internment camp, hosers. Turn back and start walking or I will shoot. A marine in a Power Armor. Someone comes from the right. A suicide bomber!
Stephanie wakes up in bed in the vault. It was a nightmare? A memory? We get to see. It’s a memory because it’s still happening. Chet sleeps next to her. She gets ready for the day. Brushes her teeth as she remembers her mother dying. You go south. You keep going until you cross that border and keep going south. Go somewhere warm. You’re coming with me. No, you keep going. There’s a flood coming. You go south and you find the highest branch you can and you hold on. If you need to hurt someone, God won’t judge you. She takes advantage of that by slitting a guy’s throat for a can of beans. Then, on to the border.
“Hey beautiful.” The border guard says, “Passport?” She turns around. Mom again. “Don’t think of them as human beings. Think of them as Americans.” Now: she spits. Blood from brushing so hard. Past: She killed the border guard too.
TITLE as “Patriotic music plays.”
I Wish We Could Have A Normal LIfe
In the Vault Tec space. Everyone is smiling and working, so efficient. Hank oversees them. Lucy approaches. “Well, I guess this is one way to save the world.” nervous chuckle. “But, it’s wrong.” “Perfect is the enemy of good, Lucy.” She looks at Snake Oil Salesman. “What does it do to their brains?” “Tidies it up a bit. Cleans the memory of the horrors they’ve experienced. This dia controls how much amnesia they have and the mainframe implants new ideas in their heads. Turning these wastelanders into well meaning, good people.” She looks concerned. “I’m shutting this whole thing down and then bringing you home. How do I do that?” “The procedure is irreversible.” “Well, how do I stop you from making more? “Well, we have to destroy the mainframe which programs the Boxes, and that’s in the basement.” “How do I get there?” “It’s a bit of a hike. Let’s take the golf cart.” “What’s a golf cart?” “Lucy, this is gonna be fun.” He takes her with the cart to teach her how to drive. “Don’t use two feet.” “But there’s two pedals.” “I know. But you just use one foot to work both pedals.” “That doesn’t make any sense.” “I know.” “I wish we could have a normal life.” “We did have one, Dad. You wrecked it.”
“The mainframe is in there.” “Okay, I need water and I need potassium.” “Making an explosive?” “What if you don’t have potassium?”
“Mind the floor. I just mopped.” “Its the guy who attacked her.” She looks shook that he’s in here now.
“You know the Legion is still out there.” “Yes” “They will hurt a lot of people.” “Yes.” “With what you’ve made here, you could stop them.” “We could stop them, Lucy.”
She’s a Good Person
NCR camp with Ghoul, Thad, and Max. Dogmeat, too.
Thad runs to catch up to Ghoul. “Hey.” “Just a couple of ghouls, am ir right?” Ghoul just sighs. “Just talking Ghoul stuff.” Back to Max. “You fought that guy?” “Yeah, but I was wearing Power Armor.” “I wore that stuff in the cafeteria. Couldn’t even pick up a cup of coffee. It was crazy. You sure we should be following him?” “He said he could take us to Lucy. Hey, where are we going?” “Lucky 38.” Thad “Well, we’re going the wrong direction. Vegas is that way.” “You want to find the girl, you’re going to have to get into an impenetrable vault. The same vault my family is in. To get there, you’re gonna have to cross the strip. To pass the strip, you’re going to have to kill a pack of Deathclaws. We have to kit up.” “So, Lucy’s in Las Vegas.” “I can see why you two got along so well.” “Yeah, why’s that?” “Because you ask a lot of goddamn questions. I got a question for you.” “How do you have that?” points the gun at Max. “Open your hand.” Thad “Just let him see it.”It’s the diode. “This is for Lucy.” Max shakes his head. “She’s a good person. She’ll do the right thing with it.” Ghoul lowers his gun and starts walking again.
You’re Gonna Have to Give it to a Really Bad Person
In the past in the Lucky 38.
Cooper is talking to Stephanie She asks how a gal on minimum wage might get into one. He says that’s above his pay grade and hopefully people do the right thing so they’re not necessary. “I think I have a better chance to get into the vault. Do you know how I can get a job at Vault Tec?” “Ask him.” Hank. She smiles and wheels him in the laundry cart.
Barb enters. He just stares.
Cut to him entering the bar. Sees Stephanie. Also, the congresswoman. Goes to meet her. “Thanks for meeting me.” “Thanks for bailing me out of jail.” “I know you’re a good person. I know you fight for good things. I want to believe in people like you but you don’t make it easy. I saw you at the VA meeting. Why can you learn to sell it better?” “I don’t know. Maybe you can tell me. How much do you know about that company that put you on all those billboards?” “I know what I did when I signed that contract.” “So you know why your wife is in Vegas?” “To give the most powerful piece of technology to the most powerful man in the world. Robert House wants the diode to live forever and Vault Tec gets the bombs in exchange. And when they do that.” “They’ll be the only ones left and that’s what they want.” “What would you do with infinite energy?” “Give it away to the public.” “I know how it’s being transported.” “If I give it to you, I want assurances. No offense.” “I get it. I owuldn’t give it to me either. But a plane just landed at the airport. The president is in Vegas. You can give it directly to him.” “You can get me a meeting with the president?” “Make sure he gets the diode and you can end 25 years of resource wars tonight.”
Ghoul kicks in a door. Thad and Max folow. Thad” Holy crow.” Ghoul chuckles. “Wow”. They look around and find all kind sof weapons. “Woo. Hello darlin” a huge gun. “I’m sure you know this. But I’m pretty new to this ghoul stuff. Still have my nose. That’s the worst part. Just waiting for it to fall off. Then there’s this.” Pulls aside his collar to show another mouth. “This is normal, right?” Ghoul sighs. “Okay. I’m gonna dial this in..anyone see a scope…” Max “I don’t understand. Why are you helping us with all of this.” “Nothing is for free. This is a transaction. You wanna get to your girlfriend, you’re gonna need some weapons. And you give me what’s in your pocket.” “I told you. It’s for Lucy.” “Oh, I see. You want to give it to a good person so they can save the world. I understand. But in order to save that good person, you’re going to have to give it to a really bad person. In all my years, I’ve only seen one man come out on top in Vegas. We gotta do it like he did it.” “Oh yeah, how’s that?” Ghoul reveals an NCR suit. “You rig the game.” Max comes forward. Touches the armor. “You always end back where you started, huh?” He tears up. Hands over the diode. “Now you understand.” This is when I said on first watch, “This show is so fucking good. I want it to last forever.” /end editorial.
This Can’t Be Good For Your Brain
He’s not one of us. muffled
Cut to Norm lying on the floor. “He’s been lying to us the entire time.”
“So what do we do with him?”
“If we let him go, he can come back and kill us.”
“I’m pretty sure the Vault-Tec handbook says that impersonating management is punishable by death.” “Well if you’re pretty sure.” “Yeah, if it’s protocol.” “Rats, he’s awake.” “What do we do?” “Knock him out again.” “What’s gonna happen to my vault?” That’s Norm. “This can’t be good for your brain.” “No, no, no.” bonk
Where’s Woody?
Vault 32
Vera Lynn, I’m forever blowing bubbles. Close up of the wedding poster.
Chet is cleaning up while Stephanie works. The baby coos. “So, I saw we’re getting married tomorrow. I’m so excited!” He’s not. “Just curious. Why?” “Chet! I’m working.” ominous music. Chet sighs and starts the garbage disposal. Sighs again. Reaches into the drain. Pulls out glasses. Woody’s glasses. “Have you seen Woody lately?” “Woody’s been sent on a leadership exchange program at Vault 31. Chet breaks the glasses and shoves them down the drain. “Water rations remain in effect. Showers are outlawed. So is flushing the toilet.” Betty moves a picture to open a safe. There’s a blue box. Keepsakes. Property of Hank McLean. “Henry. You and your secrets.”
Stephanie is going through the corridors. Opens the vault door. Sees the box. Approaches. She’s overcome with emotion? Betty “Congratulations.” Steph jumps. “On your engagement.” “Do you have people spying on me, Betty?” “Of course I do. You are so much like how I remember you. You seem to forget how much I learned when you were under.” “I learned so much before I went under.” “Don’t forget your deal. Divert 50% of your water to Vault 33.” “You’ll get your water.” “Whatever you’re up to, I want no part of it. I just want these people to live in peace.” “The deal was for water, Betty. I can’t tell the future. That’s bigger than both of us.”
Your Arm Just Fell Off
Freeside
People notice and point. The Ghoul, Thad, and Max in the armor. It’s the armor. Fucking NCR, bitches! “Why are they looking at us like that?” Thad. Ghoul “Never underestimate the power of brand recognition.” Hell yeah. Max sees a kid who looks like him and smiles. “Long live the New California Republic!” “Welcome back!” “Bring back our town.” Max smiles more.
They get to the strip. “SO, Lucy’s on the other side of that gate?” “Yep, and once we get in there, we’re going to have to move fast. About 50 yards to those steps but those things are quick.” “Understood.” Sniper, get up on that roof.” Thad’s arm falls off and his gun follows. “Oh. Uh. I would. I just seem to be having a medical episode here. This kind of thing happens to us folks all the time, right?” Max: Woah. “Hey, Thaddeus, maybe you should hang back this time.” “You sure?” “Your arm just fell off.” “If you just give me a few minutes here, I bet I can sort it out. If I can get the finger on the triger then I can get it situated.”
Ghoul and Max walk slowly towards the Strip as heroic music plays.
Daddy’s Little Girl
Lucy’s in the yellow dress, looking at herself in the mirror.
Okey dokey.
She leaves and makes her way to Hanks’ place. They make a point of showing there’s radio static on the radio he called out on.
as they eat.
Hank smiles. He’s skill got the handcuffs on. “Mashed potatoes. Just like home.” “Always your favorite. Norm, not so much.” One of the automated men comes in to fill their water. “Anything else?” “No, we’re fine.” Lucy “Can I ask you a question?” “Yes?” Norm sips. “Do you remember me?” “Yes. This morning.” “No from the hill where we first met. You lived there for 25 years. Do you remember the New California Republic?” “Lucy.” Hank sighs. “We’re fine here. Thank you.” “Thank you.” “The New California Republic is just like the Legion. They all have their problems. High taxes. Expansionist tendencies. (he’s just spouting bullshit right now) Unpopular foreign policy. Trust me. You’ll understand when you’re older.” He burns himself. “Let me help you.” Lucy sighs. “Careful. It’s hot.” She unlocks the handcuffs. “I think I do understands. One side is enslaving people and crucifying them. And the other side is just vaguely problematic.” Motherfucking preach, sister! Handcuffs him to the oven. “You know I have to admit that you were a pretty good father. Thanks to you I’m not a fudging idiot. I’m shutting down the mainframe.” “Lucy!” “Lucy do not!” “Lucy!”
So Close to a McLean Family Reunion
Claudia is untying Norm.
“We have to get out of here.”
“I have to do something first.” He goes to a radio and tries to contact Lucy. That’s why they focused on the radio. His voice comes through.
Lucy’s in the golf cart driving like crazy.
She’s Canadian!
Norm “Dad what’s going to happen to our vault? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell the truth?”
Congratulations Banner
Do you take Chet to be your lawfully wedded husband? I do. And, Chet? He hesitates. Everyone is looking. “Just say ‘I do.’”. “I don’t.” “I now pronounce you—” “I don’t!” This causes a ruckus. “Chet, don’t do this.” “I don’t know I uh, maybe we should just keep going. Just seemed like the only time that I was going to have a lot of witnesses around to say that I think Steph is part of some plan to hurt us.I don’t know what exactly, but I don’t think Woody is in Vault 31. I think that Steph hurt him. I found his glasses in our garbage disposal.” “This is a serious accusation. Where are the glasses?” “I put them back in the disposal.” “Cold feet are normal. Let’s continue.” “No! Stephanie wasn’t born in vault 31. She’s 200 years old..and she’s not even from America. She’s Canadian!” A bigger ruckus. stinger She runs. “Who are you, Steph?” Brief flashback. Closes herself in the Overseer’s office. Sits in the chair. “OPEN UP!” chant as they pound on the door.
What’s the Strategy?
Flying into Vegas.
They’re in the Strip. Deathcla eating the corpse of another. “What’s the strategy?” “I want you to get in between me and anything that looks like that.” It notices them and looks. Here goes. A western standoff music is playing. Deathclaw stands there. Max approache with his blades out. Deathclaw rushes. Max punches and slices. Ghoul advances. Deathclaw slaps Max into a car and comes after The Ghoul. Ghoul shoots it. Max recovers and cuts the thing’s head off. Ghoul salutes him. Another deathcla roars. Ghoul gets access granted into Lucky 38. He enters as Max and the Deathclaw engage. Cuts off an arm. Gets smacked with the tail and busts through the barrier back into Freeside. Deathclaw is now free and about to start FSUing.
Well, Hello, Old Chum
Ghoul exits the elevator, spurs jingling.
NO SIGNAL on House’s computer.
Flashback. Cooper and Barb walking down the strip. “The only way to save our family is to save the world.” “That simple.” “That simple.”
Cooper gets into a car. The Ghoul walks down the stairs to House’s office. Looks at the chair. Lucy has a crowbar and is on her way to the mainframe. Uses Hank’s PipBoy to open the door. Ghoul presses a red button to open a door as well. Door opens for Lucy. And The Ghoul. There’s some sort of contraption. Cooper is now in the car with the congresswoman and the president. “Mr. President.” “Thank you for doing the right thing, son.” Cooper goes to hand over the diode while the Ghoul looks to insert the diode into the contraption. Lucy sees what the mainframe is. It’s the congresswoman’s severed head hooked up to a computer. What…the…fuck. “Oh, dinah” That’s Lucy for WTF. Congresswoman nods at Cooper. Ghoul puts the diode in. hissing and it starts to fire up.
Console blaring. Beeping. Counting up to 100%. Clacking. Static. “Well, hello, old chum.” Robert House on the console.
Hot damn….