Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 9 Picks


Welcome to my completely ignorant 2019 NFL Week 9 picks. This past week got away from me again, so it’s another week of just picks. Hopefully, I can get this Pioneer podcast off the ground and then I want to record with Liam about the new Pokemon game. Also, I need to do my DC review for this month. But, if you are here for my terrible picks only, none of those things has anything to do with football.

Last week, I won 7 or 8 games. Not entirely sure. As I probably mentioned, this year is just about getting the picks in before the week starts (oops, thanks Obama!) and I’ll try to figure out how to keep better track next year. So, without further interruption, let’s get to the 2019 NFL Week 9 Picks

Toilet Bowls (The usual suspects)

Houston at Jacksonville at London? – Again, I could look up that this game is actually in London and not just scheduled for early in the morning to prevent anyone from accidentally witnessing this horror. Halloween is over, NFL, come up with some less scary matchups. Houston wins.

Detroit at Oakland – Are the Raiders actually in Oakland? I know they’re moving to Las Vegas soon, but are they actually in Oakland? Or are they in LA? Not that it matters. Detroit is just good enough to beat them no matter where this game is.

New York Jets at Miami – Speaking of horrifying games. Ye gods, bad teams in the NFL are painfully bad. I take nothing away from the Pats (eff the Pats and yes, I take everything from this cheating team), but playing a third of your schedule against this division, any team would be historic. I guess the Jets win?

If they’re on, I’ll watch (As usual, not really, but there are some slightly compelling games)

Washington at Buffalo – Right after I texted Chris that Buffalo was still looking legit they got lit up by the Eagles. Whoops. I still think that they are a decent team this year and should be able to make the playoffs. They’ll bounce back against the racists

Tennessee at Carolina – This is one of those in between games. I don’t think I’d actually watch the game if it was on. However, I don’t think it quite reaches the status of toilet bowl, either. Carolina is decent this year even if Tennessee is snake bitten. Panthers win.

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh – I’d definitely not watch this game if it was on. The Steelers are terrible this year. Indianapolis is only interesting because of how Andrew Luck started the season. Seriously, everyone other than the Pats are irrelevant in the AFC this year. *sigh* Indy wins.

Cleveland at Denver – I was one of those who were on the Cleveland bandwagon at the beginning of the year. All I saw was the talent. I never realized that Freddy Kitchens could be a coach that caused these guys to regress so much. Denver wins and my ego takes another bruising.

Okay, Now I’m Interested (Genuinely in some of these games)

Chicago at Philadelphia – The Eagles surprised me by whipping the Bills last week. I’m still on Chicago’s defense even if they aren’t actually as good as they were last year. Let’s go with the Bears in an upset.

Dallas at New York Giants – I became a fan of the Cowboys when Dak and Cooper carried my shared fantasy football team into the playoffs before disappearing. I like what the kid in New York is doing, but not enough to pick them.

Green Bay at Los Angeles Chargers – Aaron Rodgers is playing up to form. Phillip Rivers is playing like he never sleeps because he has 22 kids. Packers roll.

New England at Baltimore – I heard a stat that Tom Brady is 9-3 in games where the Patriots play the Ravens. I must only remember the 3 losses because it feels like Baltimore is one of those nightmare teams against the Pats. Doesn’t matter this year since the Patriots defense is absurd and winning games by itself. *sigh*

Game of the Week (Even without Mahomes, the Chiefs are entertaining)

Minnesota at Kansas City – Patrick Mahomes suffered from the Madden curse a couple of weeks ago. The Vikings defense is smothering (or it is sometimes). Something’s gotta give here, but I really want the Chiefs to be there to challenge the Patriots in the playoffs, so let’s go KC!

The Verdict

Overall, the 2019 NFL Week 9 isn’t a terrible week of football. There are the requisite terrible games, but in all honesty, I might be keeping an eye on more than one of the other games and not just for daily fantasy purposes. Thanks, as always, for reading and we’ll see you next Sunday. Oh, before I forget, I’d have picked the 9ers, but not in a close one. This Thursday, let’s take the Chargers. But, I kind of want to take the Raiders since home teams are usually good on Thursday. No, I’ll stick with the Chargers.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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