All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.
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Super Bowl LVII Post Mortem: A Love Story

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Introduction

I wrote about my success Betting the Bowl 2023 yesterday. The cliffs notes version (I discussed this with a student the other day. Do they even do cliffs notes anymore? I know they also had Spark Notes, but I never hear about them either) reads as follows. Local math teacher bets 99 cents to win back 93 cents. Extrapolate that out to any meaningful amount of money and I paid off my mortgage this year. But, there’s more to the Super Bowl than just betting. So, I present our Super Bowl LVII Post Mortem.

Wait, what? More to the Super Bowl than betting? Of course. Food. Commercials. Halftime show. And, oh yea, they played a game, too. Naturally, the game ended with controversy. I heard someone say that if you want to say the NFL is rigged, just look at the fact that Super Bowls always stay competitive until the end of the game and often with a reason to discuss them for at least a week after they end. But, we focus on the positive here.

Food (Not as Fancy as Years Past, But Still Tasty)

Those who follow the page know that we often don’t watch the game around here. In my house, only I care about football. So, I made a deal a few years ago with my family. Now, we pick a movie or television show and watch a marathon. I make the traditional types of food associated with the Super Bowl. Usually, I make jalapeno poppers, twice baked potatoes, chicken and beef sliders, and marinated chicken tenders (I know people get mad when you call them “wings” because people just get mad these days).

Hell, I could make people really apoplectic by saying they’re made out of cauliflower.

This year, I actually received an invitation to watch the game. My father in law invited me over to watch. Usually, he watches with my brother in law, but either he was busy or didn’t care because the Patriots were nowhere to be found this year. As a result, my mother in law made pasta for us and I spread the apps around the remainder of last week.

Commercials (Serena Proves Memorable, Everyone Else Needs a Reminder)

First, ignore the perversity of watching an event strictly for the commercials. I promise to leave my communist agenda at the door if you promise to agree that a billion dollars is too much money for one person to possess. Okay? Okay. Now, about those commercials.

Honestly, thinking back on them, I remember exactly one. Well, I remember two, but the second makes me so furious that I want t o murder who ever came up with the idea. You’re curious, aren’t you? Give me a chance. Maybe I’ll tell you. Okay, just because I want it done and over with. The fucking Jesus commercials. You have multiple billions of dollars to spend and you spend it on two Super Bowl commercials? What about the actual mission of Jesus to feed and clothe the poor? Yeah, I thought so. Sorry for the curse word, but it makes me so mad.

Think POSITIVE!!!

The only other one I remember without looking it up involves Serena Williams giving the Any Given Sunday speech. To show how ineffective I find advertisements, I have no idea what they advertised. Simply that Serena Williams gave the speech. So, yea, billions well spent.

After looking them up, I also enjoyed the Ben Affleck Dunkin Donuts ad, mostly because I remember hearing about it when they filmed it. Seeing Jesse and Walt again brought back good memories. And, I danced a little bit with the couple on hold. Plus, one of my former colleagues posted that they used a local police department’s hold music. That made me smile. Other than that, I used the commercials as God intended, to use the bathroom. He definitely gets us.

Halftime Show (Is She? Am I Allowed to Ask that? Oh Wait, That’s Umbrella!)

Rhianna came out looking very pregnant. I refrained from asking the question because, ignorant of her situation, I wanted to remain respectful. So, I watched, and made a few comments in the group chat with Chris and Jason. My father in law finally broke the ice, so I looked it up. Rhianna performed the halftime show pregnant less than a year after giving birth. I don’t care who you are. That’s impressive. Except, remember how I said that people in this country get mad about everything. Yeah, a certain segment of the population in this country (or Russian bots pretending) got mad about it.

Dab on the haters. You go, girl!

My only complaint. She performed umbrella without Jay-Z. It made me even more upset when I saw that he attended the game. I understand that Jay-Z can do what he wants with his time, but can you imagine the reaction on Twitter? Oh well, I still enjoyed the show. Y’all should try not being such grumpy gusses.

Why I’m Mad the Chiefs Won

I came up with this half baked idea the other day when planning the article in my head. I think I wrote something along these lines when I wrote the preview article. I’m not mad the Chiefs won, but according to my social media, many of my friends and associates are. I wonder why.

5. Betting – I heard none of this talk from the people in my circle, but some of my podcasts talked about how the betting money went heavy in the favor of the Eagles. So, those who bet on the wrong side of the game got their narrative that the NFL fixed the game. Stay mad.

4. Mahomes – I love Mahomes. Granted, even I started to get sick of him a bit this year, so I suppose I sympathize with this line of thinking. Even so, watching him play football puts all of that out of my mind and I fall in love all over again. Stay mad.

3. Eagles Fans – Admittedly, I try not to associate with such lower life forms (I joke Iggs. I love all people), but I understand their pain here. My Steelers won way more Super Bowls than they lost (okay, I’ll stop piling on), but the ones they lost sting with that feeling of what might have been. Take solace in the fact that rarely do Super Bowl runners up ever make it back to the big game the next year and losing both coordinators makes it tougher. Okay, I’m done. But, seriously, stay mad.

2. Patriots Fans – Living in Massachusetts, I associate with many Patriots fans. I saw more than one piss and moan about how the Chiefs bled the last two minutes off the clock. I kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to make the comment. Patriots fans during this Super Bowl: I hate what the Chiefs are doing, but I find it strangely familiar and attractive. Stay mad.\

In bill we trust, but Eff Andy Reid, right? Sports are so weird.

1. Refs – Two weeks in a row, the Chiefs benefited from dubious calls at the end of the game. Part of the reason I started to turn on Mahomes was the hit out of bounds against the Bungs. Then, I remembered if not for that, the Bungs maybe went to the Super Bowl. So, eff that. Maybe you think the end of the game sucked. But, a textbook hold and Mahomes threw the ball that way to make sure they caught it on tape. The ref got caught in damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. He’s human. He made a split second decision. Stay mad.

Why I’m Elated the Chiefs Won

Now, we finally come to the reason for writing my Super Bowl LVII post mortem. Hey, I’m a fan, not a professional journalist. I owe nothing in the way of journalistic integrity. I already said that I love Mahomes and hate the Iggs and Bungs. So, the fact that they made those fan bases even more miserable gives me great schadenfreude.

Aside from that, and not to lecture too much, but it’s only a damn game. Like I said to my father when he asked at the beginning for a prediction. First, I said, I usually can predict with some confidence. Not so this year. So, I went with, “Don’t bet against Mahomes.” Then I said, I can’t even really come up with a reason to hate either of these teams except that I’m from Pittsburgh and we hate Philly for some reason. I guess I’m maturing.

I troll, but I love ya, Philly

So, I went with joy. I love Mahomes. Andy Reid deserves a few championships for recognizing and utilizing Mahomes to his full potential. Travis Kelce is a ridiculous talent, too. Juju got run out of Pittsburgh, so good on him for finding a soft landing spot. They all won and good for them.

Five Big Plays

A million years ago, I ran a Pittsburgh Steelers fan page. It existed so early in the days of the internet that it ranked as the #2 or #3 (depending on the week) such page at the time. During the evolution of the page, I came up with the idea for a five big plays section in recaps. I think I used it once before on this page, but don’t remember. Well, if so, the triumphant return of five big plays in this Super Bowl LVII post mortem!

5. KC wins the toss and defers: Not an earth shattering strategy. Most teams now defer to the second half when given the option. But, when Philly went right down and scored, I got a bit nervous. Then, Mahomes matched. Okay, game on. The strategy nearly paid off, but the Chiefs borked the end of the first half before righting the ship at halftime and coming out gangbusters in the second half. That all started with the very first decision of the game.

4. Jalen Hurts Fumble: This changed the entire complexion of the game. But, perversely, not how you expect. A. Philly looked almost unstoppable and they proved it for the rest of the first half. B. The Chiefs defense showed they came to play a bit. C. It kept Mahomes off the field for a ridiculous amount of time. So, no momentum shift and it weirdly benefited Philly. Yet, they took no advantage from it and that showed up later in the game.

3. Pacheco Touchdown: As mentioned, KC deferred. They took the opening kickoff right at Philly and Philly showed no capacity to handle the halftime adjustments made by KC. You want to look for a reason that KC won, look no further. Good experienced coach punks good young coach. Simple formula, really.

Plus, because of the terrible field, he almost blew out his ACL celebrating.

2. The Reversed Fumble: People want to talk about the officiating, but strangely leave this call out of the conversation. If this call stands, I think KC rolls for the rest of the game. Sure, Philly showed some sparks of life in the second half, but I think this play negates any of that if not overturned.

1. The Hold: I may sound very condescending here. I apologize in advance. I understand why people might be upset about this call. Many people who watch the Super Bowl, even those who watch football regularly, can be easily swayed by public opinion. And, yes, I might even be persuaded to agree that the call maybe needed to be ignored. But, I also explained up above how. Put yourself in that ref’s shoes. Really, honestly, think about it. See? We’re all human. And, honestly, it’s very large men playing a child’s game.

The Verdict

I enjoyed Super Bowl LVII. And, I enjoyed writing this Super Bowl LVII post mortem. I missed watching movies or television shows with my family. Especially as the kids get older, you get less and less of a chance of that. But, and not to get too personal here, we got through a lot as a family the last few years and came out stronger. So, those opportunities will present themselves again. I hope you enjoyed this version of the Super Bowl LVII post mortem and see you next year.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Betting the Bowl 2023 Post Mortem *

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Introduction

I plan to give the post mortem of the actual game. But, you know how we do things around there. Instead of throwing out half baked ideas as soon as the game ends in order to receive early accolades, we throw out half baked ideas after a week so that our bad ideas rise above the cacophony and illustrate just how bad they are. So, first, I present our Betting the Bowl 2023 Post Mortem.

You may remember that I tacked on a betting article at the end of last week as a final preview of the Super Bowl. I got the idea from simultaneous emails that arrived from both Draft Kings and FanDuel telling me about their sportsbook apps opening up in Massachusetts soon. They are eager to take my money. Perhaps they should heed the warnings of this post.

Stupid Prop Bets

The only prop bets I found to discuss in that earlier article were the coin toss (truly a sucker bet) and the Gatorade color. Vegas apparently needed the money this year (see the above picture for commentary) because they dumped purple (purple?! purple?! really?! purple?! I’m just trying to win a damn bet! Shoutout to Jim Mora there.) Gatorade in victory. Maybe next year I will throw some of my windfall (shot up to 10000 fake dollars with my other bets) into more prop bets when the sportsbooks are actually live.

Single Dollar Bets

Even on these stupid bets I made up on the spot to try to ride on the coattails of Simmons, I cleaned up as you will see. Since I only put a dollar overall into the bets, I cleared less than a dollar profit, but you all can do that math. So, let’s do the math.

Most Sure Bet (confidence: high): If you bet the Chefs to win, Mahomes was MVP. I got a bit nervous at the end because Hurts went TF off and I looked at my father in law and said, “If the Chiefs win, can they give Hurts the MVP?” I mean, the guy deserved it. But, the 0.25 parlay paid 0.93 cents and I already made my money back. Cha ching. Lost as a result (0.05 for the Iggs equivalent and crazy 0.10 for Iggs/ Sweat MVP parlay).

Most Sure Bet (confidence level: irrationally high): 0.25 to win 1.75 for Kelce to score first. Chiefs won toss and deferred, so….

Throw Me a Frickin Bone! (confidence level: high): 0.10 to win 0.80 for Hurts to score first. All it took was a questionable call taking it away from Gainwell (16 to 1) and then that ridiculous rugby play to get him there, but 0.80 richer because of it!

Living on the Edge: 0.10 to win 0.08. I called this one wrong because I thought the Chiefs might put this one over in the first half. Turns out the Iggs and their ridiculous rugby play paid this one out in no time. I should watch more football if I’m going to bet on this stupid sport.

Sevens Heaven: Last 0.14 to win 0.13. Tossed this one in to get down to my silly penny parlay. Both teams scored in the first quarter. Easiest money ever.

So, keeping score, I bet 0.99 and made back a profit of 0.94. Pretty damn good if I say so myself.

Perplexing Penny Parlay

I came up with the idea of using my last penny to put together a parlay that, if successful, paid out over 100 dollars. Once I started putting together the bet, it became pretty easy to get it over 100. The actual bet paid out 133.90 (a. if successful and b. if it won)

Before I go on, let me say that I know how parlays work. And I know this one sunk from the get go. But, still, 5 out of 7 hits isn’t a bad percentage and I’d take that any time on single bets. I think next time I might play around with the format and increase it to 1 million dollar payout on a penny. bet. That might be pushing it, but I will get it as high as I can while still making the parlay reasonable.

The Verdict

My betting the bowl 2023 post mortem is mostly a positive. An almost 1:1 payout on basically 5 bets (as some auto failed on the success of others is pretty good. Also, I picked the last two winners and last two MVPs from this year and last year. I said to my father in law several times, my dad always told me not to bet on a game where the ball bounces funny and I intend to keep that line. Still, I had fun and can’t wait to be back next year bigger and better.

Digital Playground

Enter the Gungeon: Games I Love

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Introduction

Ever since discovering Unix based operating systems and then eventually Linux, I set up all of my computers as dual boot machines now. Honestly, I can’t think of a reason that I still have Windows on this laptop. In the past, I kept a version of Windows for gaming. However, most of my games that I play now are on mobile. What does any of this have to do with Enter the Gungeon?

Patience, my friend. I intend to answer that question. Since I never boot Windows on this machine, I downloaded and loaded Steam in Linux. It helpfully includes a list of Linux compatible games. Unfortunately, for some reason, you can only play 1 Screen Platformer on Windows. But, even though I miss one of my favorite games, Steam still offers quite a few others.

Bullet Hell? That Sounds Interesting

Because I purchased this computer mainly for updating this web page and the minor audio/video editing necessary to that end, I only trust it to run less powerful games. Sure, when I open it, Steam tempts me with games like Portal 2 and Left 4 Dead. But, I know my limitations. So, intrigued by the visuals, I loaded up Enter the Gungeon.

Even having lived through the various eras of gaming, I still can’t reliably explain what bit a game might be or why. I know the general go-to is 8-bit, which means the games run on hardware comparable to the NES. Even the font that I use for the page advertises as an “8-bit font”. But, I don’t remember any of the letters looking that detailed back in the old NES days. Heck, I worked the last couple of years to pick up some computer programming experience and I still can’t make heads or tails of it. But, I digress.

Retro. Enter the Gungeon is a retro style “bullet hell” game. What, exactly, is bullet hell? Well, after some research, I can finally tell you what “rogue like” and “rogue light” games are. So far, nothing inspired me to research “bullet hell”, but let me try to explain. Bullet hell games revolve around a randomly generated dungeon crawl with multiple enemies per level that you shoot using a variety of moves and targeting techniques. Man, that sounds good. Maybe I missed my calling as a marketing executive for small game designers.

Seriously, Though, What Does That Mean?

When you start the game, you get a choice of four characters. Having only played a couple of times and I chose the same character each time, I can only assume that the characters have different abilities. I can confirm in a future article about the game. After choosing your character, you get to play through a tutorial set of levels that gives you helpful hint of how to play the game.

If you are like me, you promptly forgot most of those hints. Either that, or you don’t possess the skill necessary to utilize them efficiently and effectively. I’m sure that with time my skill level will improve and I might even last until one of the boss fights to use the hints they gave me. Aside from all of that, you move your character and shoot your gun. I believe the bullet hell comes from the fact that you can constantly shoot and move yourself in full 360 with little to no penalty.

Enemies of various style and difficulty greet you with every new level. Again, if you pride yourself in being a noob like me, then it takes more than a couple of plays to figure out the best way to approach every type of enemy and style of room.

The Verdict

Even given my limitations, I enjoyed the game. I want to lead it up and play more. Who knows, with more free time next week, maybe I even get good, as the kids say. We all know stranger things happened. See you tomorrow for the next installment of Noob’s Book Club. Or, will I? That’s what we call a teaser in the biz.

On the Tabletop

I Entered a Painting Contest!

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Introduction

A few weeks ago, a post came across my Facebook feed from That’s Entertainment, the best local comic book store within 50 miles of my house. They said that they planned to host a miniature painting contest that was beginner friendly. I, very much a beginner when it comes to painting miniatures, immediately followed the link and signed up. And, so starts the story of how I entered a painting contest.

Technically, I actually entered nothing. They gave us 3 hours to start painting at the store. I took advantage of two of those hours and then wandered around the store for about 45 minutes to look for some back issues and find some new series to read. The latest TMNT story looks awesome and now I think I might order some older trades like the one for “The Last Ronin”.

The Miniature in Question

A few other competitors recognized this monster from their travels in Dungeons and Dragons. They also seemed to come in with plans and color schemes. Since I mostly just played with Quinn and the kids at school, I never encountered a hellwasp in game. I came in with the plan to try to make it look as much like the instructions as possible. To borrow a phrase from The Lego Movie, “I like to follow the instructions.”

I went with what I knew and primed the model black. Some others primed in their primary color and I think I might try that technique on some of my models because I like the look of their models. Also, the black base swallowed some of the highlights from the drybrush and made the model look dark. Another painter said the same thing about his.

Progress Pictures

Back View

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I like that the camera picks up some of the detail that my eye misses. Makes me feel better about my technique. Because, looking at it while I was painting, I felt defeated. Nothing worked out the way I wanted and I started to think that I wasted 15 dollars. Then I saw the pictures and I found the inspiration to keep going. I felt excellent after painting the wings. I really like how they look.

The Finished Product (For Now)

I still have to do some work. It looks too blue for my liking. The actual one has more of a purple look, but that’s not too big a deal. I also want to blend the wings better. But, when I showed it off to my family, Liam said, “That looks cool!” So, I felt even better about it. Join me in a couple of weeks so you can hear the actual story of how I entered a painting contest.

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Betting the Bowl 2023 *

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Introduction

Surely, you anticipated more being written about the big game this year. We gave it such an impressive title, after all. To be perfectly honest, until I got an email from both Fanduel and DraftKings this morning about their sportsbooks being available in Massachusetts soon, I planned no such update. But things move fast around here, and now I’m Betting the Bowl 2023.

Neither of the books is actually live yet. They legalized sports gambling in Massachusetts on my birthday, but I assume that the books in the state got some sort of dispensation to operate before the internet books get their chance. So, as of now, these bets are still only theoretical.

Stupid Super Bowl LVII Prop Bets

As they often do, Simmons and Sal inspired me a bit in this article, too. I listened to them as I half listened to online PD at work today. They mentioned how when they started the podcast, prop bets were still a novelty and not many existed. Sal said that one book listed over 2000 this year. A Google search only gets me about a dozen.

Quite possibly the dumbest bet is the coin toss. You’re either paying 5 dollars to be right or you are paying 105 dollars to be wrong. Both are equally stupid in my opinion. But, I saw they also have odds on winning the coin toss and winning the game. For both teams, those offer plus odds and some intrigue to the proceedings. Then again, if you put money on the coin toss in any bet, perhaps you need to call one of those numbers they advertise on the sites.

They also allow you to bet the Gatorade color. At least that requires some thought. Supposedly blue leads the last few years, but that seems unlikely given the two teams playing. If the Chefs win, they probably repeat orange (+250) from their previous win. The Iggs went with yellow last time. With a +350, you also get green on this bet. I think the best bet you can make every year is the over on the anthem. People always mug the anthem at the Super Bowl.

I expected this section to be longer. But, without access to an actual book, I encountered difficulty finding some of the wackier bets.

Single Dollar Picks

I also stole this idea directly from Simmons. But, while he makes million dollar picks, I thought it might be funny to have single dollar picks. I want to take a dollar, split it up among actual bets I might make before the game. Then, with a single penny, I want to try to put together a parlay that will pay over 100 dollars if it hits. This is how I’m Betting the Bowl 2023.

Most Sure Bet (but the ball bounces funny in this game): 0.25 to win 0.93. If the Chefs win, Mahomes wins MVP, so why not tack on the extra plus money. It just makes sense.

Most Sure Bet (even if the ball bounces funny): 0.25 to win 1.75. I call this one the “take out a second mortgage” bet. Kelce to score first.

Run It Back (who is the MVP if not the QB?): 0.05 to win 0.17. If the Iggs win (and anything is possible when Andy Reid Andy Reids it up) I’m not positive that Hurts is the MVP. But rarely does anyone but the QB win. More on that later.

I Got Nothing (who is the Iggs MVP?): 0.10 to win 36.08. I have no confidence in Hurts as the MVP. The Iggs could easily win with him having Roethisbergian numbers circa Super Bow XL. So, I went completely bonkers with this bet and wrote in Josh Sweat as MVP.

Throw Me a Frickin’ Bone! (I’m the regular season MVP!): 0.10 to win 0.80. Hurts, on the other hand, has good odds to be the first TD scorer.

Living on the edge (They converted one with Chad frigging Henne): 0.10 to win 0.08. -130 that over 1.5 4th down conversions are made. I think the Chefs hit that number before halftime and the odds reflect that.

Sevens Heaven (Unless they miss an extra point): 0.14 to win 0.13. Both teams score at least one touchdown in the first half. I needed something to throw the last 14 cents until I get to my penny bet.

Perplexing Penny Parlay

I thought of this idea as ridiculous. However, once I got going and putting in numbers, it actually became pretty easy to come up with a plausible parlay that pays out over 100 on a single penny bet. Here goes.

Chefs win (+105)

Mahomes MVP (+130)

Kelce First TD (+700)

Either team gets a 2 point conversion (+245)

Both teams score 30+ (+900)

Game goes into overtime (+929)

A single penny pays out 133.90 if this hits.

The Verdict

In all honesty, all of these bets are strictly fictional. I started keeping a spreadsheet with my bets starting with 1000 dollars. I fluctuated during the playoffs and came out ahead 6000 dollars during the Super Bowl. But, I’ll let you in on a secret from last year. Most of my bets from that Super Bowl came during the game and I lost a lot of them. Then, I cleaned up with a Rams win/Kupp MVP parlay. And, so Betting the Bowl 2023 exists only in fantasy right now.

*(Or, La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande, Part 2)

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Miscellany Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

Friday during the week of our Magic the Gathering previews means that we pick up all of the miscellany; multicolored, colorless, and lands. Can I admit that, secretly, I enjoy this article the most out of the three that I write? When I open packs, I still act like a preteen when I see that golden border. Like Pavlov’s dog, I salivate regardless of how terrible the card. And, artifacts, even though they changed from the iconic brown to silver, it still offers just enough of a difference that I double take to see the card. With all of that being said, join us for MTGONE Miscellany Edition. But, first a story.

It also means that we probably played some of the cards in the set on MTGA. As it happens, I played Mondrak and it feels just as oppressive as I thought it might. My mono red opponent launched two lightning strikes at it, ignoring my face. That’s when I knew I picked a winner. However, I misplayed because the card plays more like a 5 mana drop because of the ability. In that case, one of those bolts most definitely would have found my face instead. So, who knows how the game ultimately played out in that alternate universe.

MTGONE Lands I Love

Phyrexian Swamp

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I usually only pick lands because of their jankiness. I know spikes like their fetches and enemy duals or whatever, but I have little use for them. Once in a while, like now, I choose lands with art that simply inspires me. These qualify in a big way. I love every single one of these. Maybe even more than the constellation art from Theros.

Infected Swamp

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Once upon a time, I wrote the Phyrexian language off as a gimmick. More recently, I softened my stance. Ever since I saw my beloved Jace compleated, I went so far as to search if you can cure the infect. It turns out that you can, but things end up grim if you do. Then, I saw these lands. I know they might fetch a hefty price tag, but I want them for my Mondrak deck.

MTGONE Colorless Cards Honorable Mention (Monument to Standard Lands, A Stupid Sword, and Skullbomb)

Monument to Perfection

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Monument to Perfection made me search whether Golos, Tireless Pilgrim got the banhammer. He did. Otherwise, that card, along with the new crucible, are just straight busted. Texting Chris and that one just might be anyway. Maro teased a new sword a couple of days before the reveal and, of course, the MTG community absolutely lost their shit. Other than a stupid name, the card seems pretty good. Not as good as some of the other swords, but every cycle needs the underpowered version. Speaking of cycles, they gave us a skullbomb cycle. I like this one enough to include one or two in the control deck I mentioned in the previous article.

MTGONE Colorless Card I Love (The Filigree Sylex)

Yes, I understand that artifact and enchantment hate abound in every format of Magic the Gathering. With that being said, if I can resolve both the wrath and the “ultimate” of this card just once, I can die a happy man.

The Verdict

Overall, the MTGONE miscellany edition disappoints. But, as I mentioned, with every pack I open that contains a golden or silver card, it takes me back to being 12 years old and thinking that those colors meant something special. Also, those lands are just absolutely gorgeous. Plus, that Sylex gives me something to attempt every time I play my control deck in Arena.

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Gruul Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

I wrote about the white, blue, and black cards I love in an earlier article. As became tradition a few years ago, today I review red and green cards. Normally, because I almost strictly cast blue or black spells in the game with the occasional white splashed in, I consider this article the most difficult to write for every set. But, tradition beckons and besides, my fictional (at this point) Commander deck runs green, so time for some MTGONE Gruul edition cards.

By the looks of it, the page gets actual viewers now and not just bots. So, for those of you who are new, first welcome! I hope you enjoy the page. Let me know what you need to make yourself comfortable. Secondly, let me explain this article. I choose cards that I love, hence the title of the article. Often, that means that I choose jank or otherwise “fun” cards. Then again, more often, I am in agreement with others and end up picking the more powerful cards from a set in spite of myself.

MTGONE Red Cards Honorable Mention (A Walker, Act of Treason with a Stick, and a Possible Tiny Leader)

Slobad, Iron Golem

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I know I said I’m not the best at picking red cards, but these seem especially bad. Awaken the Sleeper reprints one of my favorite cards and gives me the versatility to melt some equipment in the process. Other than that, these cards more or less stink on ice. So, I picked a terrible Koth and a possible commander for a Tiny Leader goblin deck.

MTGONE Red Card I Love (All Will Be One)

They named this one after the set or vice versa. Therefore, you know it has to be good. I considered texting this to the group chat with Chris and Jason, but remembered that Jason shuns new cards in the name of crazy shit like playing only cards produced during a full moon in years that are a prime number. I kid because I love. Also, he can’t sue for libel because a judge will argue that no reasonable person would believe that after seeing that he, in fact, texted the group chat a copy of the card. I considered splashing red or going 5 color good stuff to include this in my deck, but that’s excessive jank, even for me.

MTGONE Green Cards Honorable Mention (Thrun, Green Crucible with a Bonus? Holy Shit, and Cankerbloom)

Conduit of Worlds

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Cankerbloom already gives you a grizzly bear plus for 1G. Plus, it adds the bonus of one mana and being able to absolutely wreck your opponent’s day. Thrun has what I called “almost opposite pro” where nothing non green affects it but it still takes damage if you block. Very weird wording on the card. Magic certainly came a long way from Serra Angel. Maybe I see now what Jason means by new cards. I need glasses just to play the stupid game now.

MTGONE Green Card I Love (Contagious Vorrac)

Speaking of text creep. Not only does this card have 55 words (not including reminder text), but it also has an ETB trigger, a may clause, and an if clause. In addition, it bears three different creature types. What are you doing to us, WotC?

The Verdict

Even among green cards, I found little from the set to put into my fictional deck. I told you these colors always gave me trouble. But, I still got a kick out of looking at the cards and I look forward, as always to seeing what cards I get from the MTGONE Gruul edition in my booster box and bundle that I ordered. Come back on Friday for the third and final installment that sweeps up all the miscellany!

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

Digital Playground

Marvel SNAP in Quantumania

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Introduction

We last covered Marvel SNAP as our mobile game of the year at the end of last year. I think they either just released the new “season” at that point, so we went a couple of months without any real news about the game. Marvel Studios obviously considers the new Ant-Man and Wasp movie to be the launching point for Phase 4?5?6? and worked a deal with the game to promote it. As a result, when I opened it today, the game greeted me with Marvel SNAP in Quantumania.

I struggle with a way to properly preview a game like Marvel SNAP. I see people online sometimes denigrate it for the simple game play as too easy. While I admit that sometimes it puts me off that they took any “difficulty” even from a game like Hearthstone, I appreciate the quick games. But, without an actual set “release” and no way to craft cards yet, the game gives no guarantee that you will play with any of the new cards. Nevertheless, I already bought the season pass plus (14.99, the additional 5 bucks gets you 10 levels on the track) so let’s just dive in.

New Locations

Image from Marvel.com

Love them or hate them, Marvel SNAP remains committed to the concept of locations. Granted, they need something to add another level of strategery and I like most locations, but some are just gamebreaking and, as always, I feel like those ones always favor my opponent’s deck. Enough whining, what do we have?

Camp Lehigh: Gives each player a 3 drop in hand. As someone who already draws 3 drops at an alarmingly high rate, this one is a pass for me, dog.

Quantum Tunnel: Playing a card here swaps it out with one in your deck. This seems hella fun and prime for shenanigans.

Quantum Realm: When you play a card here, set it’s power to 2. Either they have a combo in mind that I haven’t considered, this is troll, or you can steal a win from big decks because they won’t want to play here.

The Sacred Timeline: First to fill this one gets a copy of their opening hand. When played with MODOK (more below), this opens the game for all sorts of ridiculous combos.

Featured Card (MODOK)

Image from Marvel.com

On Reveal: Discard your hand.

Oh great, more disco decks to deal with on the ladder. I now have a dumb trigger every time I see Apocalypse discarded from a hand. I don’t have a reliable way to play around that stupid card. Oh well, time to research control options. I already have Cosmo and Armor in my deck. Might as well go full lock down and find a card that prevents discards.

Other Cards

On Reveal: See your opponent's turn and replay the turn (without Kang)

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I doubt I will ever play Ghost, but who knows? At least in my most played deck, my Ongoing, I need to flip first especially with Cosmo and Armor. Armor made more than one destro deck retreat by himself. Kang seems like an autoinclude in almost every deck. Who doesn’t want a late game do over? Speaking of disco tech, I like Stature. 1 cost, 7 power? Quite versatile, for sure.

The Verdict

In addition, Marvel SNAP in Quantumania give us variants (no more pixels, please, most of those are just bad), bundles (I saw some one person saying the price points in this game are off and based on the first bundle, it seems way overcosted), and some ideas of how to utilize the “Battle Mode” against your friends with weird rules. I love this game and I love what I see from this update. See you out there, SNAPers.

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Esper Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

We last wrote Magic the Gathering content in December when we named it the card game of the year for last year. Before that, I questioned my commitment to the game, changing my mind in the process of writing the article. I bought new product for the two most recent sets and recommitted myself (not to the nut house, though I appreciate your concern for me) to the game. Now, a new set looms and I actually find myself researching Commander decks to bring to our next play session. I even mention some of those cards in this MTGONE Esper Edition article.

Since our last preview article came all the way back during the Forgotten Realms set, let me explain the process. I break the set into three subsets. As you can see from this article, I first review white, blue, and black cards. On Wednesday, the Gruul edition brings red and green cards. Then, to finish on Friday, I pick up all of the miscellany. Join me now for MTGONE Esper Edition.

White Honorable Mention (Elesh Norn, the White Sun, and Vindicator)

White Suns Twilight

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Vindicator finally gives us a white “brother” to Obliterator. I hate that card. While Vindicator seems less annoying, it still gives you another way to stonewall your opponents and/or ping off their threats.

I just texted Chris to talk about some investment strategies. Since I also have this article open at the same time, I mentioned to him about the Bant counters/tokens deck I plan to build. White Sun’s Twilight works perfectly with that strategy. Plus, poison really tilts Chris, so I get that added bonus from the card.

I love the original Elesh Norn. I draft the card every time I see it and splash white, if necessary to play it in my deck. People say that this one breaks Magic in fundamental ways, so I want a chance to play it before the ban hammer inevitably comes down.

MTGONE Card I Love (Mondrak, Glory Dominus)

This card immediately caught my eye when I first saw the spoiler. I think I even texted Chris and Jason and said that I wanted to build around this card. Then, I saw a blue card that doubles proliferate and I researched UW options for proliferate. Not finding many, I branched out into green, too. Green is lousy with counter generators. And that’s the story of how my first non net decked Commander deck is coming into shape.

MTGONE Blue Honorable Mention (A Drake, A Mermaid, and Jace Walk Into A Bar)

Jace, The Perfected Mind

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Jace got leaked before being spoiled as we now seem to have leak season (that sounds messy) and official spoiler season now with Magic the Gathering. Initially, I thought Jace might be nice, but not my favorite iteration of the character. I might put one in my deck as an alternate win condition. However, milling 100 cards takes a while.

The drake can get out of hand pretty quickly with the right combination of counters and proliferate cards. The mermaid gives me the opportunity for all kinds of silly blue shenanigans that no doubt will have my opponent flipping the table at some point in the game.

Blue Card I Love (Tekuthal, Inquiry Dominus)

Here’s the card I mentioned earlier that put me on UW and eventually Bant for my new deck. With this, Mondrak, and Elesh Norn alone, win conditions abound in the deck. I need to get onto xMage and start building this deck. The new cards aren’t implemented yet, but I can at least start to get the shell of the deck and add the new cards when they release on the program.

MTGONE Black Honorable Mention (Feed the Infection, Sheoldred has an Edict, and the Black Sun)

sheoldredsedict

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Since black no longer fits the theme of the new deck, I looked for cards that I might include in my UB control deck that I build on MTGA. Black Sun’s Zenith might take the place of flunk because of the added ability to bring things back from the graveyard. Edict is just a good removal card with versatility. I’m not 100% sure that Feed the Infection fits. I like the draw card I already have in there, but maybe I will test 2/2 or 3/1 to see which I like better.

MTGONE Black Card I Love (Not Really. Rats Piss Me Off)

I featured this one because as soon as I saw it, I thought, I’m going to start seeing this stupid card in those rat decks that people sometimes run. Way back when they released the Sanctum cycle, I wrote about a jank deck using all of them. Periodically, I see that deck and wonder if it just entered the zeitgeist or if I inspired it. The first opponent to play this stupid thing will have me thinking the same.

The Verdict

MTGONE Esper edition inspired me to plan and build my first non net decked Commander deck. Be on the lookout for the update posts over the next few weeks. As soon as I press schedule on this article, I plan to open xMage and start building the shell. See you on Wednesday, when I release the Gruul edition of the set!

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande

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Introduction

I used many of the superlatives that I often use for the previous 2 rounds. For example, in the past, I wrote the Super Bowl Extravaganza. This year, I applied that title to the conference championship round. Yes, datear reader, not even we at 2 Generations Gaming are immune to the effects of power creep. And, so we arrive at La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande a week before the big game.

Honestly, though my interest in the NFL grew over the last few years, I think it peaked last year during the Chefs/Bills playoff game. Everything after that felt anticlimactic. Now, given the sour taste that both conference championship games left, I doubt I will even pay attention to the game this year. Nevertheless, I made a solemn vow to you, dear readers, and I intend to keep that vow.

Why I Want The Iggs to Win

As I Pittsburgh fan, I inexplicably hate everything having to do with Philadelphia. Never mind that, as a red blooded American, I love everything to do with my country, including Philadelphia. I find sports fandom and patriotism confusing and sometimes infuriating. In spite of all of this, I came up with this format for the article, and I intend to see it through to the (possibly) bitter end.

Honestly, I can only come up with one reason to cheer for the Iggs. Those of you who follow the page know that I went from hating the University of Alabama football team to openly and actively loving them all because of one man. No, not Jalen Hurts, though I can appreciate his story and wish him the best. Tua converted me from Bama hater to loyal subject. He’s like a modern day Jesus. But, given that Hurts played for the Tide and got Judased by Saban and Tua, I owe it to him to cheer his team on in the Super Bowl. Plus, I forgot all about Devonta Smith. Go Iggs!

On the negative side, the last play in the Bungs/Chefs game initiated a visceral reaction in me against Patrick Mahomes. I’m not saying that I don’t like the guy anymore, but with Brady “retiring”, I need a new heel to inject with my venomous hatred. Burrow, even though he qualifies by playing for the hated Bungs, is honestly too nice. Mahomes might be, too, but I can hate him tangentially with my overall NFL hatred.

Why I Want the Chefs to Win

I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t mean it. I just came up with an idea for an article and went with it. Sometimes things get out of hand. I love you and everything that you do. Except for some of those State Farm commercials. Some of those are just dumb.

And, honestly, how can you hate this?

So, like the Iggs, and virtually every other NFL team. the only reason to cheer for them is their quarterback. In a sport where all of the guys wear helmets and most of them toil in obscurity for their entire careers, the NFL finally figured out a way to give some faces to the names of their quarterbacks.

On the negative side here, my Pittsburgh heritage far outweighs any debt I owe to the United States of America, so eff Philly and eff their stupid football team. The entire city can fall into a sinkhole for all I care. I hope the Chefs bury you and your loved ones in a shallow grave in the Arizona desert. Woah, that got dark.

The Verdict

Again, those who follow the page know that I’m the only one in the house who even cares a little bit about this sport where the ball bounces funny. As a compromise, I came up with the idea to watch a movie franchise as a marathon during the Super Bowl. Of course, that year, my Steelers played the Cardinals, so I snuck away several times to check on the game. We haven’t chosen the series for this year, yet, but I know I will be cooking all day that day regardless of what we watch. La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande de Lucas-Mullen will feature many of the traditional Super Bowl appetizers with a Dad twist. Come on over if you don’t care a thing for the game.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).