All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.

Good Morning, Dagobah!

(Editor’s Note: We have no idea if we are officially out of spoiler range for the new Star Wars movie. To be perfectly honest, we don’t care all that much about spoilers here. We are of the opinion that if you can’t enjoy entertainment that’s been spoiled, then perhaps it wasn’t all that entertaining. Besides, the movie has been out for more than a month now. If you haven’t seen it by now and care at all about spoilers, then you get what you deserve. With all of that being said, if you continue to read from this point forward, there are major spoilers to the movie.)

Kylo Ren, real name Ben (most likely named by his Uncle Luke Skywalker in honor of Obi Wan Kenobi) Solo (because he is the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa) kills his father in an attempt to complete his transformation to the Dark Side. I warned you. Enjoy the following funny SNL bit as a peace offering. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I can talk about the rest of the movie. Don’t worry, we’ll come back to Han and his angry, angry son later.

I already gave my first impressions of the movie right after we saw it. If you read that article, you know that I enjoyed it very much. Half of it was nostalgia, half of it was watching it through the eyes of my own children, and the most important third half of it was being able to introduce this universe to my father in law. I’ve since had some time to ponder the movie more. You probably think that means that the glow has since faded and that I’m now going to write about how the movie is not as good as I first thought. Well, you’re partially right. As time passes, the glow naturally fades and it might sound like I’m bashing the movie, but I’m not. The internet has just created this environment in which you can’t criticize anything without being a hater. Know, then, that I still enjoy this movie, want to see it again and thank it for saving the franchise from the better taste of the prequels. And, I’m one of the few who kind of enjoyed Episodes I-III. Imagine the people who thought the movies were the cinematic equivalent of being warmed inside of a Tauntaun and how relieved they are that a good Star Wars movie was made before they died.

Or, should I say, remade. How’s that for a segue into my first criticism? As with all of them, it is a minor complaint and one that can be easily explained. Nevertheless, I should discuss the good and the bad. Maybe I should take a bad news/good news approach to the article. Seems like the best way to write it. That way I can avoid the inevitable internet accusation of drinking the haterade. Besides, honestly, no matter how much I complain, I did enjoy the movie very much.

Honestly, though, I'm not even sure who drinks this stuff.  It tastes like burning.
Honestly, though, I’m not even sure who drinks this stuff. It tastes like burning.

Still, always bad news first. From the opening scent of the movie, when the giant star destroyer flew across the screen, I felt that there was something familiar about this movie. It’s not just because they decided to bring everyone back, either. We all knew that was going to happen. Also, I’m not the only one who thought this. I’ve spoken to several friends who had the same reaction. Okay, enough rationalizing, let’s look at the evidence.

  • The aforementioned star destroyed sets the stage for nostalgia. I thought, “Wow, that’s just like the beginning of Episode IV.”
  • A cute droid carries information that is vital to the good guys.
  • A black masked and cloaked villain with an altered voice. This one is explained in the movie through storytelling, but still suspect at first. Kylo Ren idolizes his grandfather and wants to be just like Darth Vader, so there’s your explanation.
  • An unspectacular protagonist from a desert planet ends up being extremely important to the fate of the galaxy.
  • There is some mystery regarding this protagonist’s life story.
  • This progtagonist becomes the protege of a former scoundrel turned wiser old man who clearly knows more than he’s saying.
  • The past catches up to the old man on several occasions forcing him to reconcile with that past. He still does not reveal the whole truth, however.
  • There is a power struggle for the second in command of the dark side army.
  • The good guys have a critical meeting inside of a cantina on a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy. At least this cantina is not on the same planet that the protagonist lives.
  • This group, known as the New Order, have built a planet sized space vessel capable of destroying planets.
  • The good guys are a rag tag bunch that happens to have some of the best pilots. They destroy the so called “Starkiller” by finding and exploiting it’s single weakness against impossible odds.
  • The wise old guru is murdered by someone close to him in front of his friends who are all powerless to help him.
  • The protagonist and antagonist fight to a stand still as the battle to destroy “Starkiller” rages around them, concluding as the vessel begins to tear itself apart.
  • The protagonist finds a wise old Jedi master on a remote planet surrounded by water. Okay, so this one is more Episode V, but movies are also slightly longer on average than in the late 1970s/early 1980s.

In case all of that wasn’t obvious enough, my main complaint is that the movie is nearly an exact retelling of Episode IV. Okay, now for the excuse making. I will rebrand it as the good news after the bad news. First, they had to reintroduce the series for several reasons. One, I mentioned that I mostly enjoyed the prequels. Many others, to put it mildly, did not. In less sugar coated terms, most, by a wide margin, fans hated it with the fire of a thousand Starkiller beams. There is so much more for nerds in pop culture these days that fans might have abandoned Star Wars altogether for Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, or any one of the Marvel series on TV or Netflix. What better way to get fans back into it than by going back to where it all started and reboot the story as well as support.

solo-foot-1
I know, Captain Solo. I’m just as shocked as you that Star Wars nerds would turn their backs on the movies. But, it’s not the 1970s and 1980s anymore and the prophecies have come true. Nerds rule and jocks drool.

Two, those of us who have been there all along are getting old. It is harder to get us to buy the tie in merchandise, other than the video games. If those old farts are anything like me, they brought family and friends to the movie. My kids have already seen the original movies, but my other guest hadn’t. Perhaps by introducing them with a proper introduction, they are more likely to get hooked and revisit those first movies. Even if they don’t, they’re in now. They finally have a Star Wars that they can call their own. See, it’s a legitimate complaint, but one that makes sense if you just think about it.

Back to bad news. I talked about the final battle in the list of similarities Kylo Ren battles against Rey (the lead protagonist mentioned in that same list) after fighting against Finn (who I haven’t even mentioned yet and it’s not because I’m racist, which is exactly what a racist would say. Damn. Moving on.) and mortally wounding or killing him. After having just watched the movie, I discussed it with my cousin. I brought up that I felt it a little strange, and even a little convenient, that someone who had studied as a Jedi and then in the dark side for who knows how long lost to a woman who only hours earlier picked up a light saber for the first time. True, there is some ambiguity surrounding Rey’s history and parentage, but I still made the point to him. He replied, “Well, Kylo was shot in the side.” which is a plot development that I had overlooked in my excitement. That is actually a great explanation, Skywalker spawn or not. There are other inconsistencies like that, but that one bothered me the most.

Okay, Kylo, I guess you get a pass.  Being shot in the side might prove to be a bit of a distraction from your epic lightsaber battle.
Okay, Kylo, I guess you get a pass. Being shot in the side might prove to be a bit of a distraction from your epic lightsaber battle.

Even so (good news), the inconsistencies aren’t as glaring as the original trilogy that could have been explained by the prequels, but were actually made worse in many cases. Add in the silly tinkering that he did when rereleasing the original movies and those things are an absolute mess now.

Other than those two minor complaints–that can honestly be made about any movies and especially sequels that have made it to the 7th movie, I enjoyed it and cannot wait for the next one. As soon as we left the theater and sat in the restaurant waiting for our pizza, I searched on the tablet to find the release date for Episode VIII. I was genuinely upset that we would have to wait another year and a half (now moved to two years) for the movie to be released. In our video on demand, binge-watching society, that is an eternity. Hopefully spoilers start showing up soon and I can at least find out if my theories are correct.

Until then, I suppose I still have some Clone Wars to watch. There is also the new series Rebels and I have to show my father in law the first six movies. There is the machete order to try there. Maybe I will see this one again. There is plenty of Star Wars fun to keep me busy until Christmas 2017.

Good news? There’s less than 700 days as I write this.

Bad news? There’s almost 700 days as I write this.

I feel the same feels, Pepe.  That's why you always lead with the bad news.  It's better to end on a good note.
I feel the same feels, Pepe. That’s why you always lead with the bad news. It’s better to end on a good note.

My Completely Ignorant NFL Picks (Division Round Weekend)

(Editor’sNote: Even though the divisional round is far less random than the wild card, due to popular demand, I’m bringing back the coin from last weekend to pick the games. Heck, I kind of like the gimmick. I’ll call him George McQuarter.)

TLDR:

Went 3-1 last week, but 1-3 against the spread. George went 4-0 and 2-2. This week I have all 4 home teams; Pats, Cards, Panthers, and Broncos. George picks Chiefs, Cards, Panthers, and Steelers.

[collapse]

Well, I didn’t make 50,000 dollars in stupid Fantasy Football. I didn’t even make it past the first round. I did learn some valuable lessons about daily fantasy football and I’m now obsessed with the math of betting sports. My father gave me the advice to never bet on a sport where the ball bounces funny and I’ve always taken that to heart, but I’m a math guy and the math intrigues me.

I went 3-1 straight up last week. The Green Bay Rodgers came to life for one game as the Washington team turtled and that game was hopeless. I was also 1-3 against the spread. I’m not sure how all that translates to betting possibilities, but I’d probably have put together a moneyline parlay with Kansas City and Seattle. I don’t think it would have paid much, but I’d have made money, so there’s that. Maybe I’ll do this column weekly next year with 200 fictional dollars (enough for 10 dollars each week leading to the Super Bowl and then if I have money at the end, I can use that for the Super Bowl) and see where I end up. I could do the same for George, who was 4-0 and 2-2 against the spread, but I’d have to figure out a way to rank George’s confidence without intentionally sabotaging him.

Rare picture of George. After getting this shot, he shouted, "No paparazzi!", and then jumped up, smacked me in the forehead hard enough to leave a mark, and rolled off. I haven't seen him since. He's been texting his picks to me. It's a strained relationship right now.
Rare picture of George. After getting this shot, he shouted, “No paparazzi!”, and then jumped up, smacked me in the forehead hard enough to leave a mark, and rolled off. I haven’t seen him since. He’s been texting his picks to me. Needless to say, It’s a strained relationship right now.

Okay, enough silliness, on to the picks. I honestly did no research this week other than look up the lines. I didn’t even listen to Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal. So, this week might be ugly. However, the Divisional Round is traditionally where the playoffs settle back into form after the craziness of the Coin Flip Round. This year’s Coin Flip round was especially crazy with all 4 road teams winning, so I see a possible overcorrection happening this week.

Kansas City Chiefs at New England Patriots (-5): There are a lot of people who are high on Kansas City, especially after they thrashed a very terrible Houston Texans team last week. I’m not as high on them because all I keep thinking is Andy Reid on the road against Bill Belichick. I don’t care how many Patriots are injured. I don’t care that Kansas City is coming off of a huge win in the Coin Flip game. I just don’t care. Nothing can convince me that the Patriots won’t win this game. The Chiefs might, might cover if all of those Pats are actually hurt, but the Pats will win this game. George likes the Chiefs 59-41.

Green Bay Packers at Arizona Cardinals (-7): The Packers whipped the Washingtons, but that’s not saying much. The Washingtons are slightly better than the Texans because they actually have a quarterback. Arizona has been the team to beat almost all year and they’re my NFC pick for the Super Bowl. The Packers are my crazy pick, so this is the game. I can’t pick against Arizona at home. They’ll shut down Rodgers and just win. George likes Arizona, too, but he’s less confident, 52-48.

Seattle Seahawks at Carolina Panthers (-3): Seattle escaped by the skin of their teeth last week in awful conditions in Minnesota. I’m not as high on Carolina as some seem to be, but I’m pretty sure they can win this one. The NFC seems far less wonky this year than the AFC and I have much more confidence in their top seeds. George picks the Panthers, too, 57-43.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos (-7): The following is a transcript of a text conversation with my friend. I had been texting him the night before with updates on my fantasy failure and also grumping about the Steelers/Bengals game and what a terrible game it was. I had shut it off when the Bengals intercepted the ball with 1:36 left or whatever.

Him: Do you like NFL any better today?
Me: Nope. (Steelers lost and I’m out of the fantasy running)
Him: Steelers going to Mile Hile????
Me: How? Bungs picked it off with a minute left. (I gave up on the game and went to bed).

After that, I went to check the score, saw that the Steelers won and went on to discuss with him that this terrible Steelers team is now two improbable wins from the Super Bowl. I don’t think that this Steelers team is any better than they were before, but weird things happen in these Steelers/Broncos playoff games. Of all of the games, I’m least confident of this one. I’m picking the Broncos, but I’d love to be wrong to see this awful Steelers team playing for a chance to go to the Super Bowl. George has the Steelers 51-49, so he’s just as shaky on this one.

My Completely Ignorant NFL Preview (Coin Flip Weekend Edition)

(Note: I swore off the NFL, and especially the Super Bowl, about 6 or 7 years ago. I cheated a couple of times by watching the second half of Steelers/Cardinals and the last couple of drives of Pats/Giants II for the schadenfreude.)

TLDR:

Pats/Cards in the Super Bowl. Steelers/Packers in the Crazy Bowl. Chiefs, Steelers, Seahawks, Redskins for this weekend. Hopefully I win 50,000 dollars in stupid fantasy football.

[collapse]

Last year, I started what I hoped would be an annual tradition. As with most of my plans, this one got lost somewhere between planning and implementation. I wrote an article called “My Completely Ignorant NFL Preview” to basically show that the blowhards on TV and the internet every week have no better idea than anyone else as to how the NFL is going to unfold in any particular season. I picked how each team would finish in their division and then made a Super Bowl prediction. The division picks were a mixed bag. Then again, I never thought to check how I did compared to the “expert” (Dr Z? Is he still a thing?) I fashioned my article after, which would have been a good follow up. Oh well, good intentions and all that. However, I came within 5 seconds and a crazy sequence of events from winning my Seahawks over Patriots pick.

If I was a gambling man, this would have been me. I would have specifically asked my bookie to deliver the money in this fashion. He would have most likely responded to this request with a pair of cement shoes.

If I was a gambling man, this would have been me. I would have specifically asked my bookie to deliver the money in this fashion. He would have most likely responded to this request with a pair of cement shoes.

I also only lost two picks in the entire playoffs, including that stupid Super Bowl. Eff the Patriots. Nevertheless, emboldened by that success and my fantasy football championship, I present to you the second annual “Completely Ignorant NFL Playoff Picks”. Before I pick the Coin Flip, er Wild Card, games, I’m going to talk a little about the Super Bowl. Obviously, I didn’t get to make preseason picks and I can’t go back in time–not even virtually–to make them, so I’m limited to doing it now. In keeping with tradition, the only research that I’ve done is listening to Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal discuss the NFL from a degenerate gambling point of view, so I will follow their lead in this article. In that spirit, here are the Super Bowl odds for all of the playoff teams as of 1/8/2016.

Super Bowl Odds
Panthers, Patriots, Cardinals (9/2)
Seahawks, Broncos (5/1)
Steelers (8/1)
Bengals (20/1)
Chiefs (25/1)
Packers (30/1)
Redskins (40/1)
Texans (60/1)

As you can see, there is no clear favorite this year. Usually, by this time of the year, everyone has jumped on the Patriots bandwagon. They’ve looked so bad over the last month or so that people (well, not technically people, gamblers) are spooked. The biggest surprise to me is that the Steelers are so heavily favored, but that might be because I’m a Steelers fan and they are a terrible team that passes for decent in today’s watered down National Football League.

If you want to sound like a professional commentator, you have to say things like "National Football League". Also, by including this picture, I may now be sued by the National Football League. Whatever. Maybe my bad boy image and devil may care attitude will finally lead to my big break as a writer. Hey, it worked for others in "The Biz".
If you want to sound like a professional commentator, you have to say things like “National Football League”. Also, by including this picture, I may now be sued by the National Football League. Whatever. Maybe my bad boy image and devil may care attitude will finally lead to my big break as a writer. Hey, it worked for others in “The Biz”.

With all of that being said, they are my outside pick for the AFC team in the Super Bowl. More on that in a moment. i’m calling this the Coin Flip round. That’s only partially a joke. Like almost everyone else (or maybe more so given my absolute ignorance on the subject), I am clueless as to how this playoff season will unfold. I honestly have no good feeling, even, about any of these games ore team. How, then, am I supposed to pick two teams from this hodge podge of 12 as a proper Super Bowl match up?

Well, then, to be safe and increase my odds, I’m going to pick four. I will pick an obvious match up and I will also make an “off the rails” pick that could conceivably happen if things go just right for the teams involved. Let’s start with the obvious picks and build suspense on the NFC “outsider” pick. To be fair, I’m also putting that one off because I don’t have a good one yet.

I really need to stop getting my crystal balls at Wal*Mart.
I really need to stop getting my crystal balls at Wal*Mart.

Sure, they’ve looked terrible lately, especially over the last two games, but they might have just been playing possum. Plus, I always lead with eff them, but until someone proves that they can eff them, I have to pick the Patriots. Many think that Carolina is Cinderella and they’re all waiting for the coach to turn back into a pumpkin. (Oh, come on, that was a good pun and I didn’t even mean to do it.) I am among them. I have no faith in the Panthers, so I’m going with the Cardinals in the NFC.

If I understand how odds work (and there’s no guarantee of that) and my math is right (there’s a much better chance that is true), then that gives 29.25 to 1 odds of this happening according to what Vegas says. And, that’s the sure thing this year. There’s just no rhyme or reason in today’s National Football League. If I had more of a production budget, I could have made a cool graphic like the robots fighting or helmets crashing into each other, but all we have is the image below. Enjoy.

There's your Super Bowl 50 (because the National Football League presumably didn't want Super Bowl Large to come 10 years after Super Bowl Extra Large) match up. Place your bets now. Or, probably don't, because, honestly, who the hell knows?
There’s your Super Bowl 50 (because the National Football League presumably didn’t want Super Bowl Large to come 10 years after Super Bowl Extra Large) match up. Place your bets now. Or, probably don’t, because, honestly, who the hell knows?

I’ve already told you that I think the Steelers have an (extremely) outside shot of going to the Super Bowl this year, but that requires beating the Patriots and that’s something that they’ve never been able to do reliably. Especially this year, of all years, they have a crap defense and the Patriots are susceptible to the rush due to a patchwork offensive line. Oh well, here’s how I see it happening. Steelers beat the Bungles, which is possible because the Steelers hurt another Cincinnati quarterback earlier in the year. First Carson Palmer and now Andy Dalton. It is slightly less likely now because D’Angelo Williams is hurt. Look at how smart I look at missing my own deadline. Anyhow, if that happens, they’d play the Broncos. Peyton Manning usually folds against both the Steelers and Patriots, but again, this isn’t my father’s Pittsburgh Steelers. Finally, the Steelers would have to beat Patriots, who would easily dispatch of the Chiefs or Texans. Highly improbable, and that is why I don’t understand how they are only 8 to 1.

In the NFC, the Packers could beat the Redskins. That would put them against the fraudulent Panthers in the second round and then they’d have to defeat the Cardinals in the Championship to get to the Super Bowl. Both of my outsider teams would have to beat my sure thing teams and that’s insanity. It shows in the numbers. The sure thing was about 30 to 1. This one is nearly 10 times that at 278 to 1. Both of these logos have letters in them, so they look weird when flipped. My Steelers bias would rather have the Packers look weird.

Your Super Bowl 50 match up in an alternate universe where I am a gambling savant and a gajillionaire.
Your Super Bowl 50 match up in an alternate universe where I am a gambling savant and a gajillionaire.

Okay, now finally on to the picks for those of you who didn’t take advantage of the TLDR. Since this is coin flip weekend, I will give you the coin’s take on it first and then my own.

Chiefs (-3) at Texans: The coin picks the Chiefs by a score of 59-41 in 100 coin flips. I have to agree with the coin on this one. The Texans have limped through the season as the best team in the worst division in football. The Chiefs aren’t a sexy team, but they are a great team to be fodder for the rejuvenated Patriots in the next round.

Steelers (-3) at Bengals: The coin is fairly certain of this one, too. Steelers win 58-42. I’m less certain. As I said, so many people love the Steelers, but I think that is fantasy football bias. The Steelers have sexy fantasy guys and that doesn’t always translate. Even with Williams out, I think the Steelers have enough to beat AJ McCarron and the Bengals again.

Seahawks (-5) at Vikings: The coin thinks this one will be closer, but it picks the Seahawks 51-49. I’m more confident in this pick. The Seahawks tend to turn it on in the playoffs. Like the Steelers, their defense has taken a step back and their running back is injured, but it’s the Seahawks. Like the Patriots, you can’t count them out until they’re out.

Packers (-1) at Washington: Well, the coin thinks it is going to be a road sweep this weekend. Packers win this one 52-48. I didn’t want to pick all road teams and I think this game is the one that will be most wide open. The Packers are Aaron Rodgers and a bunch of other guys right now and Washington might have finally found a quarterback in Cousins.

I don’t think that I will come close to my record from last year and this weekend could be a disaster picks wise. Oh well, thankfully I’m not a gambling man, but I did take a free entry into Yahoo Sports daily fantasy playoffs contest, so maybe I’ll somehow luck out and win $50,000 dollars to help heal the pain of looking completely foolish. I’m pretty sure that’s how the pros deal with that aspect of the job.

Looking For Magic…

(Editor’s Note: …in all the wrong places? Okay, clever (?) title aside, here’s a TLDR. Do you like Magic? Do you like Puzzle Quest? If your answer is yes to both of these, then give the game a try.)

I’ve discussed the Puzzle Quest line of games on the page. For those of you who are new and don’t want to sift through other articles, I will offer a recap of my history with the games. I started with the titular game of the series on the XBox360 because it was being sold for 5 or 10 bucks. I don’t remember the exact price, but it was cheap enough that I didn’t hesitate to buy it. I’ve also discussed that I have the same problem when Steam has a sale. It didn’t hurt that I’m a sucker for the match-3 type puzzle games. Heck, I’ve been a fan of puzzle video games since I got Tetris with the Game Boy. The match-3 have the same appeal as Tetris without the marathon matches–unless you binge, as I sometimes will. Nevertheless, it is comforting to know that you can pick the game up, play a few rounds, and be done with it in less time than it takes you to—well, I’ll leave it at that and let your imagination take over.

It looks like a demon...on the toilet...playing Candy Crush...and he is on a higher level than I am.
It looks like a demon…on the toilet…playing Candy Crush…and he is on a higher level than I am.

I’ve played all of the big names. Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook, the original Puzzle Quest on the XBox360, and I even finally discovered Candy Crush a couple of years ago. That one has occupied my free time more than any other game over the last few months. It’s just the way that these games work. They feel dumb and easy. Then, the difficulty ramps up and you’re playing them as much as you can to get that “one more level”. They show you how your friends are doing and it ramps up the competitive spirit that much more. I’ve even done something that I never thought I’d do. I’ve spent real money on these games. Candy Crush, especially, hooks me with their weekend “deals” about once every two months. I have since found other games because I’m stuck on one of the Candy Crush “hard” levels and have been for as long as I can remember. I’m not going to spend money on extra levels or anything because I’ve learned that lesson. My high–or is that low–point came during my Marvel Puzzle Quest playing days. I spent more money on that game than I care to admit. What can I say? I’m a sucker for Marvel and have not thrown my money away on comics for the better part of a decade and a half. Might as well turn that good money into ultimately useless characters for this silly game because, #YOLO

Okay, Sam, I get the point.
Okay, Sam, I get the point.

Enough of that silliness. Time for some on topic silliness. The reason that I mention my history with puzzle games in general, and Puzzle Quest in particular, is that a new one has been released. Most likely several have been released. One, in particular, caught my attention. I’ve written about it before on the page because I’ve been excited about it since it was announced. I write, of course, about Magic Puzzle Quest. They’ve done such a great job with Marvel Puzzle Quest that I couldn’t wait to see if they could capture that “Magic” again.

Pun not intended, but not exactly discouraged, either.
Pun not intended, but not exactly discouraged, either.

I should know by now to temper my expectations. I’m not saying that it is a bad game. It just feels…incomplete. The story mode in Marvel Puzzle Quest is deep and rich. I would say that is because it is based on recent comic storylines, but even the original Puzzle Quest had good, if generic, lore. In both cases, many levels are introduced with dialogue that helps to keep you immersed in the fantasy of a game that quickly gets boring otherwise. Given that precedent, I expected the newest version to follow, if not surpass, that standard. It falls well short. Most disappointing is that Wizards has stated that they want to be more committed to story and lore. That commitment showed in the latest iteration of the Duels series, but definitely took a step back in Magic Puzzle Quest. The only “story” is a single sentence, most likely just the flavor text from whatever card you happen to be battling. It’s a phenomenal disappointment. Really, though, that’s my only complaint. For someone like me, it’s a big deal. Your mileage, as usual, may vary. The gameplay is the same lame match-3 of all the others. Without an interesting story, the game is simply Candy Crush with Nissa or Liliana instead of the annoying little girl as your protagonist. What, then, keeps me logging in to this one instead of the candy filled cuteness?

That vile, vile cuteness. I see a demon...on the toilet...leading candy minions against me in a war for my soul. It is a war that I am losing...badly.
That vile, vile cuteness. I see a demon…on the toilet…leading candy minions against me in a war for my soul. It is a war that I am losing…badly.

Well, it is a Magic property. The familiarity of the characters and lore make this a more desirable destination if I’m going to be blowing up gems. Add the dimension of being able to summon creatures, play spells, use planeswalker powers, and better freebies to make Magic Puzzle Quest undeniably the choice for match-3 on mobile for me. Let’s talk about those freebies. In Candy Crush, there is a wheel of fortune that may or may not give you something useful. More often than not, the prize is nearly worthless. Magic gives guaranteed prizes every day. Sometimes it is in game currency. At the end of each week, you get a booster pack. I haven’t made it yet, but if you log in each day for a month, you get a fat pack of boosters.

I still prefer Marvel Puzzle Quest for the reasons outlined, but I only have that one on Steam and I don’t trust that my progress will carry over if I download the game onto my tablet. So, whenever I need to blow up gems while I’m…busy…I’ll log into Magic Puzzle Quest and collect cool stuff while I’m at it. I’ll also hope for a better story.

Not So Long Ago…

(Editor’s Note: Spoiler Alert! This movie was awesome!)

My history with Star Wars is well documented. Perhaps not on this page, but all it takes is a single inquiry or comment and I will tell you all about it. What’s that? You want to hear all about it? Perhaps another time. Let’s just say that I am of a certain age and temperament that lends itself to minor obsession with the films. I’m not a costume guy, but I did attend a midnight showing of Episode III and I made Christine come with me to watch at least Episode IV when it was re-released into the theaters. She’s still “on the fence”, but I think she hates the movies and merely tolerates them like I do country music. You have to make sacrifices for the ones you love.

Since the boys have been born, much of my Star Wars experience has been of the Lego variety. They’ve seen some of the actual movies, but we’ve spared them the more intense Episode III and I despise everything about Episode II, so they might not have seen that one, either. News of Episode VII had me excited, then apprehensive because Disney and JJ Abrams (ugh), and finally back to a fevered pitch of fan boy enthusiasm that culminated in ordering tickets for the official premiere date for me, Liam, Aiden, and my father-in-law.

So, if Wil Wheaton is unofficial king of the nerds, does that make him queen? Nah, I suppose that's Felicia Day. Maybe he's the duke, but nobody even knows what a duke is. Jester, then. JJ Abrams is the jester of the nerd court.
So, if Wil Wheaton is unofficial king of the nerds, does that make him queen? Nah, I suppose that’s Felicia Day. Maybe he’s the duke, but nobody even knows what a duke is. Jester. JJ Abrams is the jester of nerd court.

I wasn’t sure how to structure this article, but I had a flash of inspiration and I”m going to go with a running journal starting on Thursday afternoon. That’s when the excitement really started to ramp up to nearly mythical levels.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

4:45 pm: While at tutoring, I got a text from my wife that read, “Dinner at my Moms at 5:30 pm.” Okay, cool, no problem. While dinner at her mother’s might not seem all that interesting or relevant to a story about Star Wars, I assure you it has a place. Stay tuned.

6:30 pm: Dinner was ham and au gratin potatoes. it was delicious and, you are right, has nothing to do with Star Wars. You just have to appreciate the little things in life.

Side note: I have not been as excited about the movie as expected. Maybe the grind of the end of the semester interfered. Perhaps, because we don’t have cable, I have been able to avoid the incessant advertising.

Yes, in case you don’t know, we are the annoying family without cable that uses that trait as one of our identifying characteristics. I found myself saying, “We don’t even have TV at home. Why are you arguing over TV?” to my 5 year old.

Well, after dinner, the hype machine finally got me. A commercial came on for Dodge (or ram or are they the same thing? Who cares, right?) with Star wars music in the background and I made a comment about buying the truck just because they put Star Wars on it. My father in law replied with, “They’ve been putting Star Wars on everything.” Sure enough, the next commercial was a tie-in, too. I have to admit that I got a kick out of that one, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ESP8bPldl0

6:49 pm: After the commercial, I said, “Okay, that one was funny.” and my wife rolled her eyes. She had already been making side comments through and after dinner and I just had to ask her to stop. I don’t usually get defensive about my nerd love, but Star Wars is different. As I explained to her, I’ve been watching these movies since I was a kid and now I’m taking my own kids to see them. When she first said, “I love you.” I replied with, “I know.” I’m not a super Star Wars fan, but buried deep down, I am.

6:50 pm: To assuage my hurt feelings and pump the gas (or tug the steam whistle, but that sounds weird) of the hype train a little, I watch the trailer again. Now that I’m more familiar with the new characters, watching it gives me the ASMR something fierce. I watch it five times. Aiden joins me for one of the viewings.

7:15-10:30 pm: The hype is somewhat diminished by having to write a final. Tests are the absolute worst part of my job (I know #firstworldproblems) but they are a necessary evil.

10:30 pm: Speaking of necessary evil…Watching one of my favorite streamers on Twitch and someone comes with the chat with, “Just got home from Star Wars.” Immediately he is hit with the “No spoilers in this chat!!” by several users and a couple even ask for an unconditional ban “just in case”. Look, I get it….sort of. Your lives are so devoid of suspense and surprise that you live vicariously through movies and television. But, serious, the “No spoilers!” gestapo has gotten out of hand. The guy is simply trying to start a conversation about something he enjoyed and assumes that you enjoy as well. I, and one other, responded with, “Is it any good?” He said that he really enjoyed it and listed off the reasons without giving away any major plot points.

Don't worry. I'm not going to post spoilers just to spite people. I'm not a complete jerk. I just wanted to see how many people would scramble away after getting to this image. Okay, maybe I'm a bit of a jerk.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to post spoilers just to spite people. I’m not a complete jerk. I just wanted to see how many people would scramble away after getting to this image. Okay, maybe I’m a bit of a jerk.

10:45 pm: Shortly after, my cousin contacted me to compare notes. I told him that I had yet to see it and we also went on to discuss the movie without giving anything away. We talked at length, too, about a variety of subjects. We expressed a desire to see the movie more than once. He assured me that JJ Abrams did a good job, which I was still a bit worried about. We both lamented that our wives showed no interest in the movie. Having already seen the movie, he was particularly dismayed that his wife wasn’t there. We moved onto female representation and it sounds like they are trying to appeal more to women with this series.

As an aside, my feeling is that this film is about leaving the past behind and reinventing Star Wars for the future. I know, that sounds weird. But, I contend that the disastrous prequels were meant to be for the hard core fans, but Uncle George overcompensated and we got what we got.

Oh well, maybe the boys and I can wear her down over vacation and get her to see it with us. It is really something that I want to share with her. After I see it, maybe I can find an angle.

12:15 am: I joked with my cousin that I might not even sleep because I was so excited. That became a lie as I crashed on the couch watching Twitch.

Friday, December 18, 2015

6:15 am: Alarm goes off and today is the day! All I have to do is give two finals, one tutoring session, and I will be on my way to the theater. I’m excited, but I also think that I might have a cold coming on.

11:15 am: One final given and the tutoring session done and I need to go get some medicine and do Christmas shopping at the mall. I’m not looking forward to this at all. Oh, hey, what’s that? It’s a pretty cool looking R2D2 shirt that I can wear to strengthen my nerd cred. The shirt and lunch at my favorite Greek place made the “have to do”s all worth it.

I don't know if you can see from the picture, but it is the silhouette of R2D2 (okay, that's not a surprise) with iconic moments from the movies in each panel. Pretty awesome.
I don’t know if you can see from the picture, but it is the silhouette of R2D2 (okay, that’s not a surprise) with iconic moments from the movies in each panel. Pretty awesome.

2:15 pm: Last final is done! I’m so excited that I’m going to go out to the van and take a nap! I know, I know, all of this build up to the big day, it’s almost time, and that’s my response. I’m pretty sure that this cold is actually the flu. So, I curl up in the van for a short winter’s nap.

3:00 pm: Nap over! Let’s do this. I drive to Amherst, find my father-in-law’s truck, and park near him. I meet them all in the theater, post to my Facebook (because it’s not official unless it’s on social media), grab the tickets, they get popcorn and soda, and then we go stand in line for the movie. The half an hour wait in the theater for the movie to start is excruciating and made all the worse by the cheesy pre-show advertisements that they show. By the end of it, I scream, “Let’s go already!” Not one to get faked out, I also say, “Is it actually starting?” when the Lucasfilm logo comes onto the screen. Thankfully for me and those in the immediate vicinity who were sick of my whining, it was actually starting. The theater went black, the title came up, the theme song started, and applause began.

7:30 pm: The opening wasn’t the only applause worthy moment. I’m pretty sure that Aiden even got the theater going a couple of times when some of his favorite characters came onto the screen. I gave the movie a standing ovation. It wasn’t perfect, which goes without saying, but it was a very good movie. They paid homage to the past in the right way and they are definitely moving the franchise forward at the same time. As with many fans, I was a little down on Star Wars after the prequels and then the Disney sale, but everything has worked out well so far. Even though I’m pretty sure I know how Episode VIII and IX will continue the story, I’m still unbelievably excited to see both of them. We still have a good year and a half, so I guess the only course of action is to go see this one a couple of more times.

If you’re a fan, you’ve already seen and drew your own conclusions. If you’re not a fan, this is actually the perfect movie to get into the series. After you’ve done that, go back and watch the originals. If you still love Star Wars after that, avoid the prequels altogether, except for maybe Episode III and Episode I if you can stomach it. As always, May the Force be with you.

Little Soldiers follow Tiny Leaders

(Editor’s Note: Must be the end of the semester. Two articles with possibly two more by the end of the week!)

Even though Chris and I hare not recording the podcast together, we still try to find time to hang out and play games. Over the last few months, time has been at a premium, thus leading to the change in direction of the podcast, but we were able to get together this month. What’s funny is we actually had two gaming nights in December after having none in the previous months. During the first of those two nights, we played some Dicemasters, started a Heroclix game that had to end early because it conflicted with my bedtime, and we also played Magic.

I find that last part to be the most interesting. Chris and I have spent the better part of the year trying to justify our interest in the hobby. He has been more successful than I as he found another play group. It’s the same guys that we played DTK sealed against earlier in the year. I have not been able to play with them since, but Chris has about once or twice a month. Nevertheless, as a result of the sealed night, I had two tiny leaders decks that I build and no live testing of either deck.

Wait, what?

All aboard my train of thought! Wait, what's that over there?!
All aboard my train of thought! What’s that over there?!

I admit that train of thought might be a bit difficult to follow, so I’ll explain. While making plans to do the sealed, it came up that some of the guys played the Tiny Leaders format. I had heard of it, but never played. I had some time and a couple of 3 mana or less legendary cards, so I put together the decks. I then forgot all of my Magic stuff on the night in question and then Chris and I got away from Magic for a while and finally had no time for any gaming for a few months.

I think it was me who suggested that Chris and I try the Tiny Leaders format during our table top night this month. My main reason is that his new group has enhanced his “Spike” tendencies, which is great. It’s given him a new outlet and interest in the game. My absence from the game has been absolute and I’ve not even looked at any of my decks. He’d simply mop the floor with me and that’s no fun for either of us. I need to either tune my current decks or go back to the drawing board and build some new tech to compete. Well, long story short (too late!), we played a couple of games and I finally go to see my decks live.

Those of you familiar with the page know that sometimes my decks maybe don't deserve life, but like their monstrous counterparts, they just want a hug.
Those of you familiar with the page know that sometimes my decks maybe don’t deserve life, but like their monstrous counterparts, they just want a hug.

Both performed will and mostly according to the strategies in mind when I designed them. First up, I put my Alesha (the first deck I built and actually tuned some) against his green/red mini ramp deck. His deck wasn’t strictly legal as he used Burning Tree Emissary as his leader, but I let it go because that’s our agreement. We play for fun above all else and I’m not going to nit pick silly rules in a kitchen table game. We both employed aggro strategy that ultimately paid off for me on the turn before he had definite lethal.

He picked B/W Constellation for his second deck. It is a deck that he has used in various forms before and one of his ongoing projects. My other deck was mono green and picked because I only had one other legal leader at the time. In no way can it be interpreted or assumed that any one strategy went into the construction of this deck. It is a hodge pogde of green Magic things. A bit of ramp, a dash of stompy (or as much stompy as 3 or less mana allows), some devotion, and a whole lot of praying that the opponent has no removal. Chris did and used it on the correct target to prevent me from killing him at 26 life on the next turn.

Pay me no mind. Just a 1/1 sitting here minding my own business. Nothing to see. No need to remove. Oh, hey, what are you doing with that black spell there? No, no, no! I'm too young (and valuable to your ultimate destruction) to die!
Pay me no mind. Just a 1/1 sitting here minding my own business. Nothing to see. No need to remove. Oh, hey, what are you doing with that black spell there? No, no, no! I’m too young (and a key instrument to your ultimate destruction) to die!

The games went quickly and were fast paced. Because nothing cost more than 3, we were able to cast at least one card every turn. There wasn’t much land/go that can sometimes happen in our other games. Both games were close, too, with a kill coming one turn before the opponent lethal. Either we are getting better at building decks or the format lends itself to closer games.

In any case, we both did remark that the singleton nature of the decks provided a challenge in more than one way. That, and the limited number of cards in each deck really make you think about what cards to include and, more importantly, what can be cut. Unlike a traditional Magic deck that sometimes has to include do nothing cards because they might be strong in certain situations, you really can’t get away with that in these decks. All cards need to have a specific purpose and need to fit the overall theme. That might have been why my mono green deck ultimately fizzled. I thought that the color might hold things together. I now realize that I might have been too scattered with my strategies. Oh well, all part of the learning process.

Overall, I enjoyed the format and it seemed like Chris did, too. I don’t know if it will be our preferred format, as he has grown attached to Modern/Legacy and I like eternal formats better, too. Still, it was a nice introduction back into the game. I’ve been drafting again and am brewing some potentially crazy new decks for our next nerd night in January.

This card, especially, has been dancing in my heads like the sugar plums are supposed to these days. Maybe that'll be my big break. The Nutcracker staring Dragonlord Ojutai.
This card, especially, has been dancing in my head like the sugar plums are supposed to these days. Maybe that’ll be my big break. The Nutcracker staring Dragonlord Ojutai.

All I want for Christmas

(Editor’s Note: The Noob of All Trades goes back to the future of two years ago to finally maybe join the present of video games.)

Regular visitors to the page (shout out to the both of you!) know that Chris and I are traditionalists–grumpy old men–when it comes to games, especially video games. We have Magic as our go to table top game, but we have branched out to others like Herclix and Dicemasters. Rarely do we ever branch out into new video game territory. Hell, neither of us even owns a PS4, XBox One or Wii U and those are soon to be last gen.

It’s not that I think new video games are bad. I will be the first to admit that I don’t understand the appeal of all of the Call of Duty games. Most new games, however, impress me with their graphics and story. I guess that I just haven’t been impressed enough to spend the money on one of the systems. If you know anything about building drama, you know that this is the point where I write, “Until now…”

Then again, games are tough to enjoy when you spend most of your time waiting for the respawn timer to expire.
Then again, games are tough to enjoy when you spend most of your time waiting for the respawn timer to expire.

Until now, none of the next generation systems from the last couple ofyears have not dropped in price to the point that i’m a comfortable paying yet, but I am considering a purchase of two of them if Santa doesn’t bring them. Which two? You may be asking. If so, thanks for asking and let me explain.

The first one should be obvious if you’ve followed my articles over the past few weeks. Actually, both of them should be obvious, but one is maybe slightly more obvious, so I will start there. I grew up with video games. We owned an Atari 2600 and even a 7800. I played (and beat) the game considered by some to be the worst of all time, E.T. I received Jungle Hunt as a gift after receiving 14 stitches in my head. I can still play Pitfall to a stand still in the timed mode.

Doesn't look so bad does it?  Certainly not deserving of its reputation as a barren Hellscape of a game.  There are plenty of games I'd put below E.T.  Call of Duty among them.
Doesn’t look so bad does it? Certainly not deserving of its reputation as a barren Hellscape of a game. There are plenty of games I’d put below E.T. Call of Duty among them.

Our parents bought us an NES one year for Christmas. Upon playing Mario for the first time, I immediately switched allegiance from Atari to Nintendo. I had a brief fling with Sega during the Genesis days and overpaid for a Playstation, but Nintendo remains my favorite system and game maker. Even now, during a time when other gamers flock away from the “casual” nature of Wiimotes and Amibos, I remain firmly in the corner of Big N.

Two games, especially finally have me excited about the prospects of owning a Wii U. The first is Super Mario Maker. I know nothing about this game, but the name alone makes my heart flutter. When I mentioned it to him, he seemed less than enthusiastic about it. I started to wonder if maybe my own enthusiasm might be misplaced. Nintendo is capable of making bad games, after all. However,Liam has since filled me in on some of the details and I’m even more jazzed about the game.

top5_1_20081208
Nintendo can make bad games. After all, remember this turd? Yeah, me neither.

He said to me the other day, “I thought you could just make levels, Dad. But, now I realize that you can share them with people, too. That’s really cool.” See, I was under the impression from the beginning that was the appeal of the game. I’m glad that I was not wrong. I’d have been very disappointed otherwise. I mean, how many times have you played a Mario game and thought, This level would be so much cooler if they did this. If you anything like me, you’ve lost count. I can’t wait to unleash those ideas on unsuspecting gamers.

The other game for Wii U–the one that pushed me over the edge–is Smash Bros. I played the first one many years ago. I’m a fan of fighting games and a fighting game with all of the Nintendo characters sounded great. Unlike MK and SF, games that both have a robust one player mode, Smash Bros is a fighting game for people with friends. Now that Liam and Aiden are both old enough and taking an interest in games, I want to try Smash Bros as intended. Other games interest me, too, but those are the two games that make me most want Santa to bring a Wii U.

Come on, Fat Man!  Don't let us down!
Come on, Fat Man! Don’t let us down!

My second system of choice on the list is also obvious, though maybe less so. I went with Microsoft during the 360/PS3 generation mainly for the Kinect that now lies buried in my big box of dead electronics. I thought about continuing with the XBox One because I figured that both machines were the same and I wanted to stay consistent. That attitude persisted until recently.

I mentioned to Kevin (he of Episode 2 infamy) that I wanted one of the systems and that I was leaning in the direction of XBox One. He stated flatly that the PS4 is better. I trust his advice and now I’m definitely going to get a PS4 at some point when I have the spare cash. I don’t have to explain two of the reasons for my interest, as I went into it in an early article.

i will write, briefly, on another game that recently got my attention again. I loaded up DOOM on my Steam account the other day. I’ve been thinking of doing some playthrough videos of the game to show secrets. While playing, it triggered in my brain that a new one is in development for the PS4 and XBox One. It is also coming out on PC, but I need another reason to convince my skeptical wife that I must ahve another video game machine. None of it, of course, will change her mind, but a new DOOM game has left no doubt that I’m soon going to own a PS4. Maybe I’ll buy myself one for my birthday next month.

Posted this to the Instagram account with the caption, "Still one of the best feelings in gaming."  I hope that your character gets that same grin in the new game.
Posted this to the Instagram account with the caption, “Still one of the best feelings in gaming.” I hope that your character gets that same grin in the new game.

Gotta Collect ‘Em All

(Editor’s Note: Wait a minute. Gotta catch ’em all. Gotta collect ’em all. I sense a theme here. I think that this slogan might just be a clever way to sell product. Has anyone else caught on to this?)

I don’t remember how the card game got introduced into the family. It’s been such a constant over the last few years that it feels like it’s always been there. Every trip to Wal*Mart now ends in the card aisle after a detour to look at toys and video games. We visit all gaming shops that we see so that the boys can look for any new or different sets and decks. After a couple of months, I pull out the box of cards in a futile attempt to organize them. Well, that’s not entirely true. I successfully organize them. The futility comes in keeping them in order. All of this has been going on for as long as I can remember. Then again, my memory might be fuzzy and confusing my time with Magic cards and even comics, as the experience with both is much the same.

Well, leave it to the younger generation to set us old folks straight with their fancy new brains and untarnished memories. After a conversation with Liam during the podcast, we cleared up the mystery. During one of our Cape Cod camping trips, I brought an introductory Pokemon set to see if Liam would play and enjoy the card game. I had just started to get back into Magic, but I knew that game would be too complicated for him. However, he loved Pokemon, so I thought that the 30 cards would serve as a perfect introduction into these types of games. Boy, was I right.

One of the decks had Machop as the main Pokemon and I remember Liam walking around saying, "Ma-chop-chop-chop." He was so enthusiastic about it that he had me saying it, too.
One of the decks had Machop as the main Pokemon and I remember Liam walking around saying, “Ma-chop-chop-chop.” He was so enthusiastic about it that he had me saying it.

He loved the game and immediately wanted more cards and how to learn to play the “real” game. So, first I took him to Wal*Mart because they were the only local store that carried the cards. Ever since the comic book store went out of business here, Wal*Mart is the only bastion of nerdness in town. However, as soon as we were able, I too him to Greenfield Games, which was the closest actual gaming store. I’ve mentioned them a couple of times because we do most of our gaming there. Admittedly, there was also an ulterior motive to the trip. I had just started to get back into Magic, as I mentioned, and I wanted to see what was happening with the game. It obviously didn’t hurt that there were other games to put on the wish list, too.

Those games stay on the wish list, too, until the boys are older or Chris and I are able to have more game time together to branch out.
Those games stay on the wish list, too, until the boys are older or Chris and I are able to have more game time together to branch out.

Aiden and Quinn have both followed in the footsteps of their older brother. Aiden, especially, has gotten into collectibles in a big way. He most recently started collecting Minecraft miniatures and shopkins. Pokemon cards remain his favorite, though, I think. Similar to me, he pulled out the cards and started putting together a deck. We didn’t finish, but at least we are playing with the cards again. Hopefully we can finish our decks over the weekend (after I finish organizing the cards for the bazillionth time) and play some games.

I need to get back into the card game because I’m actually interested in the new expansion Breakthrough. Admittedly, I don’t know much about the current state of the Pokemon card game and I know next to nothing about the expansion, but they hooked me with this one. I’m sure that it is all a marketing gimmick. Still, the idea of two worlds, technology and nature, is interesting and the mind boggles with what they can do with that. That answer is probably nothing. I am an eternal optimist, though, and this optimism has yet to be extinguished.

Hopefully Santa brings some intro decks for the set and we can see if the hype is real. Naturally, I hope that it is. I haven’t played any magic except for some of the new BFZ expansion in Duels. I’ve been filling the void with Hearthstone, as I often do, but I usually hate (and I mean HATE) playing that game. Therefore, I need a card game that doesn’t make me want to kick kittens when I play it.

Don't worry little guy. No actual kittens are harmed when I play Hearthstone. Only my dignity.
Don’t worry little guy. No actual kittens are harmed when I play Hearthstone. Only my dignity.

So, let’s explore Pokemon Breakthrough a bit more to see if it can occupy me or if I have to go make nice with Magic again. The set is an off shoot of the X/Y series, meaning that it takes place in the Kalos region. I haven’t had a chance to play the video games yet for X/Y because Liam and Aiden both have a save game on their cartridge and, well, there’s still only one per. I think I can find both games for $40 total, so I will try them soon.

Back to the cards. We haven’t ever been in Kalos in the card game other than the most recent expansions. This is the 2nd or 3rd card game in the X/Y series because no new video games have been released since that one. That, alone, might mean that they push the envelope a little bit more with this set. Again, there’s no guarantees. Magic seems to have backed off a bit on the power level with the new Zendikar, which sounds weird when you’re talking about Eldrazi. Nevertheless, this set is much lower level than even Origins and that was a huge step back. Not knowing enough about the card game, I don’t know if they need to make a similar adjustment in Pokemon. I guess we will find out soon enough.

C'mon, Santa, bring us the goodies!
C’mon, Santa, bring us the goodies!

Gonna Catch ’em All! (Eventually? Maybe?)

(Note: Gotta catch ’em all? Yeah, right. I couldn’t catch ’em all when there were only 150 of ’em. I have no chance at this point.)

On this month’s Noob and Sons (recorded over the weekend and most likely to be posted later in the week), we dedicated the whole show to Pokemon. The crazy little creatures are near and dear to me. So much so that, for some reason, I remember the first time I encountered them. Having grown up with video games, I had heard of Pokemon, but never played the games. One day while working at KMart, I received a call from a woman. I assume she was a mom trying desperately to understand this thing called Pokemon that was most likely in response to a request by her son to get him one of the games for Christmas. I calmly explained to her what I knew of the relatively new phenomenon.

I don’t, however, remember how I got into the games. I do know that I have played since the first generation. I chose red over blue at the time and I’m not sure why. Blue is my favorite color and I was too ignorant at the time to know anything about exclusives for each version. Maybe that’s the only version that the local Toys (backwards) R Us (or Babbages, remember that place?) had at the time and I thought that I’d eventually go back for Blue.

Used to go to this place all the time at the Millcreek Mall, along with McDonalds, the movie theater, and the arcade.  Don't hate me because I'm an OG.
Used to go to this place all the time at the Millcreek Mall, along with McDonalds, the movie theater, and the arcade. Don’t hate me because I’m an OG.

I’m not entirely sure, either, why I didn’t get Blue. I remember enjoying Red because it was similar to one of my favorite games at the time, Final Fantasy. Maybe I lived under the delusion that I’d be able to trade for the missing Pokemon. Perhaps my gaming budget simply went to other games as I eventually shifted my short attention span away from Pikachu and Co. Just another in a long line of good intentions gone bad.

I did eventually tire of fighting the same Pokemon, battling trainer after trainer, and not being as interested in the story as the other games like Final Fantasy. Also, it was much more fun for my brothers and me to blow each other up in Mutant League Football than to play this single player game running around and trying to catch ’em all. So, I moved on to other games and mostly forgot all about Pokemon for a few years.

The next game that I remember playing isn’t even a traditional Pokemon game. A explanation: One of my favorite consoles of all time was the Game Boy Advance. I still have one that I borrowed from a friend so that Liam could play some GBA games that he wanted for Christmas. Thankfully, this game was among them. The next (and probably my favorite) Pokemon themed game that I played was Pokemon Pinball.

At the time, I worked overnights and had a lot of free time. I wrote a ton. Between that job and my time spent unemployed, I was able to finish my two published books. When I wasn’t writing, I also played a ton of Pokemon Pinball. I didn’t “catch ’em all” as the saying goes, but I came closer than I ever did in the traditional games. Now that I have a way to play again, I’ll try to catch the ones that I missed.

Heck, I even caught Numel!  That's gotta count for something, right?
Gotta catch ’em all. Even, Numel, for some reason.

After putting away Pinball, I stopped for so long that I actually forgot that Pokemon existed. It became one of those “games of my youth” that I never imagined would come back into my life. Then, suddenly and (maybe) inexplicably, I started looking at Diamond and Pearl. This time I knew about version exclusives, so I bought Diamond for Dialga. I actually caught the legendary Pokemon, too. Sadly, I have no proof and had to give up my save file.

That last paragraph might need some explanation. I say that the return of Pokemon may have been inexplicable. That might be true. I’m not entirely sure of the timeline. It might also have been that Liam was born and I knew from an early age that I was going to try to get my kids into gaming. While that gives me an in home playgroup, there are drawbacks. I surrendered my Diamond game to Liam once he learned about video games and Pokemon. Since they game has only one save file (still, WTF, Nintendo and Game Freak), there went all the effort to get Dialga. Such is life, love, and family. That was also the last time that I could consider the DS to be mine alone. From that point forward, Liam more or less claimed it for himself.

I don't have Dialga anymore, but that Numel more than makes up for it, amirite?
I don’t have Dialga anymore, but that Numel more than makes up for it, amirite?

I have not played any of the newer traditional Pokemon RPGs, but I have kept an eye on them. Liam also keeps me updated as to the new developments in the series. While I’d like to see for my self, I’m actually more excited and interested in the other games being made. The first I learned about was Pokken Tournament.

Like most these days, Facebook introduced me to the game. I saw a video of some gameplay, showed it to Liam and Aiden, and then went digging for more information. I haven’t since searched, so much of my info might be outdated. Hey, what’s one of my sayings? Ignorance is bliss and sort of my thing on this page.

The game is being co-developed by Nintendo and the makers of Tekken to be clone of that popular fighting game. I have played Tekken, but I wouldn’t consider myself a fan. I’d much rather play Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, or Marvel vs. Capcom. Still, the addition of Pokemon makes the game intriguing. My main complaint about Tekken is the lack of special moves like fireballs and “get over here” spears. Pokemon breath fire and shoot lightning. Pokken could be like a mix between Tekken and MK, but for kids. That’s awesome.

That’s not the only new concept game four our favorite pocket monsters. Pokemon Go, an “augmented reality” app for phones and tablets, promises to turn the world around you into a Pokemon filled wonderland. As I understand, you “search” with the phone to “find” hidden Pokemon. The types of Pokemon depend on your surroundings and maybe even the season. What did I tell you? Ignorance is bliss because you never know what to expect.

This app, if it works the way that I hope it will, has the potential to suck any free time and money that I might have left. Imagine walking down the street or hiking in the woods and getting a push notification that one of the Pokemon that has eluded you is close. How cool would it be to lock eyes with that blue eyed stranger on the bus or train, open your app, swipe right, and battle one another for Pokemon trainer supremacy? I might try Pokken tournament, but I can’t wait for this thing and will most likely be one of the crazy ones crashing the server on day one trying to download it.

Who knew that such a simple concept of tiny monsters with extraordinary abilities would have such influence and staying power? Over the last 20+ years, there have been toys and stuffed animals, animated TV shows and movies, video and card games, and the franchise shows no indication of slowing down. The podcast has me playing the old games again, the new expansion has me more excited about the card game than Magic, and I’m hopeful for what is coming next.

Quick Hits: Thankful for Gaming

(Editor’s Note: There was supposed to be aweekly series this month in honor of Thanksgiving and to fight, just a bit, against what has been called Christmas creep. As with most things around here, that plan has been completely ignored in favor of no plan. Hey, it’s part of our charm.)

A couple of weeks ago, I posted an article about the things that made me thankful. The list was incomplete and not only because I refrained from most mention of the usual reasons to be thankful. If I truly listed everything for which I’m thankful, it would come in much longer than the usual 1000-1500 word articles that I usually write. With more and more pages pushing video content, and the slow death of the written word as most recently evidenced by ESPN killing Grantland, I should probably refrain from such marathon articles. Don’t worry, I won’t. Because YOLO. Are the kids still saying YOLO? I really need to research popular culture more.

Apparently, Sam Jackson doesn't think that the kids should be saying that anymore.
Apparently, Sam Jackson doesn’t think that the kids should be saying that anymore.

Nevertheless, I did want to take a stand against “Christmas creep” this month and it has proven difficult to come up with topics for this particular holiday. Unlike Halloween or Christmas, there aren’t a ton of Thanksgiving movies. You decorate mostly in a generic Harvest theme like you would if you don’t want to go overboard for Halloween like we did this year. I’m not desperate enough yet to do a Food Channel style “Top 15 sides or deserts”…yet. Stay tuned. It might be coming over the next few days. There’s just not a lot that defines this holiday other than the “thankful” bit.

One of the things that I mentioned in the previous article that I’ve been thinking about is the bit about this being a good time to be a gamer. The article didn’t specifically talk about games, but I’m narrowing the focus for this article. My nerd cred isn’t as deep as it used to be. I don’t read comics monthly. I’ve all but given up on zombies. All I have left is games. In keeping with the spirit, I present some of the reasons that I’m thankful to be a gamer.

  • I will start with the obvious. There are so many different types of games available and so many different games available of each of those types. Just this year, I’ve discovered Dicemasters and Heroclix on the tabletop, too many free to play games to mention via Steam and mbile (some that I haven’t even played yet), and Fallout 3 on the XBox 360.
  • I know that some of you will disagree with this bullet point. Two of my closest gaming friendsdo, but it is finally time. Given my near allergic reaction to the thought of facing Black Friday crowds, I’m not sure how to do it, but I really want one of the Wii U bundles. I know. Wii U sucks. It barely even gets mentioned in the fanboy console wars. Just another terrible Nintendo gimmick with no real games. Blah, blah, blah. Liam and I are unapologetic Nintenerds, though, and the Wii U is one gimmick that has us both excited.
I've often said that Nintendo just has to make a new Mario, Zelda, and Metroid game and they've sold me a console. Whoever made this picture, please adopt me.
I’ve often said that Nintendo just has to make a new Mario, Zelda, and Metroid game and they’ve sold me a console. Whoever made this picture, please adopt me.
  • Times are especially great for cheap gamers. I already mentioned the F2P and Freemium movement. Again, you may have different attitudes about those games, but I love the idea. Putting our differences aside, I think that we can all agree that finally getting a PS3 because they are so cheap is a great idea.
  • Fallout 4 and Star Wars Battlefront. I haven’t played either but I’m completely obsessed with both. The announcement of Fallout 4 had me more excited than any other game except for Portal 3 if it ever happens. Star Wars wasn’t even on my radar until I started hearing reports from people that it felt like playing the movies. Now, both of the games have me thinking that I need to find a way to get a PS4 instead of a 3.
Nevermind. Whoever made this needs to adopt me. Wait, you can both adopt me. It doesn't matter if you're both dudes, I live in Massachusetts and we're totally cool with it. We could be like that old TV show. Full House.
Nevermind. Whoever made this needs to adopt me. Wait, you can both adopt me. It doesn’t matter if you’re both dudes, I live in Massachusetts and we’re totally cool with it. We could be like that old TV show. Full House.
  • Gaming led me to create this web page and other accounts as a result. It hasn’t had the reach that I hoped it would, but I’m having fun. Similar to my other writing, hopefully people discover and enjoy it.
  • Many of the games that I play have given me something else to share with my kids. Likewise, they discover and share games with me on a regular basis.
  • Still other games have rekindled old friendships, opened up aspects of friendships never considered, and have the potential to open up entirely new friendships.
  • Overall, as I mentioned, this is a great time to be a gamer. There are just so many games of all types that bring together family and friends.