Category Archives: Snap *censored* Pop Culture

La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande

Introduction

I used many of the superlatives that I often use for the previous 2 rounds. For example, in the past, I wrote the Super Bowl Extravaganza. This year, I applied that title to the conference championship round. Yes, datear reader, not even we at 2 Generations Gaming are immune to the effects of power creep. And, so we arrive at La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande a week before the big game.

Honestly, though my interest in the NFL grew over the last few years, I think it peaked last year during the Chefs/Bills playoff game. Everything after that felt anticlimactic. Now, given the sour taste that both conference championship games left, I doubt I will even pay attention to the game this year. Nevertheless, I made a solemn vow to you, dear readers, and I intend to keep that vow.

Why I Want The Iggs to Win

As I Pittsburgh fan, I inexplicably hate everything having to do with Philadelphia. Never mind that, as a red blooded American, I love everything to do with my country, including Philadelphia. I find sports fandom and patriotism confusing and sometimes infuriating. In spite of all of this, I came up with this format for the article, and I intend to see it through to the (possibly) bitter end.

Honestly, I can only come up with one reason to cheer for the Iggs. Those of you who follow the page know that I went from hating the University of Alabama football team to openly and actively loving them all because of one man. No, not Jalen Hurts, though I can appreciate his story and wish him the best. Tua converted me from Bama hater to loyal subject. He’s like a modern day Jesus. But, given that Hurts played for the Tide and got Judased by Saban and Tua, I owe it to him to cheer his team on in the Super Bowl. Plus, I forgot all about Devonta Smith. Go Iggs!

On the negative side, the last play in the Bungs/Chefs game initiated a visceral reaction in me against Patrick Mahomes. I’m not saying that I don’t like the guy anymore, but with Brady “retiring”, I need a new heel to inject with my venomous hatred. Burrow, even though he qualifies by playing for the hated Bungs, is honestly too nice. Mahomes might be, too, but I can hate him tangentially with my overall NFL hatred.

Why I Want the Chefs to Win

I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t mean it. I just came up with an idea for an article and went with it. Sometimes things get out of hand. I love you and everything that you do. Except for some of those State Farm commercials. Some of those are just dumb.

And, honestly, how can you hate this?

So, like the Iggs, and virtually every other NFL team. the only reason to cheer for them is their quarterback. In a sport where all of the guys wear helmets and most of them toil in obscurity for their entire careers, the NFL finally figured out a way to give some faces to the names of their quarterbacks.

On the negative side here, my Pittsburgh heritage far outweighs any debt I owe to the United States of America, so eff Philly and eff their stupid football team. The entire city can fall into a sinkhole for all I care. I hope the Chefs bury you and your loved ones in a shallow grave in the Arizona desert. Woah, that got dark.

The Verdict

Again, those who follow the page know that I’m the only one in the house who even cares a little bit about this sport where the ball bounces funny. As a compromise, I came up with the idea to watch a movie franchise as a marathon during the Super Bowl. Of course, that year, my Steelers played the Cardinals, so I snuck away several times to check on the game. We haven’t chosen the series for this year, yet, but I know I will be cooking all day that day regardless of what we watch. La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande de Lucas-Mullen will feature many of the traditional Super Bowl appetizers with a Dad twist. Come on over if you don’t care a thing for the game.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem

Introduction

I unintentionally ended up writing and posting this on the same day that Brady announces his retirement. In the text chain with Chris and Jason, I admitted to being a petty dick about the announcement. When Chris said it sounded genuine, I replied, “Well, good for him for coming to the realization a year too late.” And, then when Jason mentioned that Favre retired twice, I replied with a goat GIF and “Gonna break that record, too.” So, knee deep in all that salt, let’s get going on this 2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem.

Gonna break that record, too.

There, now you can feel super cool like you are a part of our epic text thread. It’s a cool place to be. I refer to it more than once in this article, so the hits keep coming. Okay, enough self aggrandizing. Let’s dig into the fun from the weekend.

Iggs Bury 9ers (and their quarterbacks), 31-7

If you remember, I put together a fake future of the Bungs/9ers at the beginning of the playoffs. That bet looked damn good for most of the playoffs and then came crashing down in this game. I paid little attention to it until the aforementioned text chain brought news of every single 9ers quarterback getting injured. The texts made it sound serious, too. Then, the Iggs poured on the scoring. And, it got worse from there. Purdy ended up back in the game after what sounded like a very serious injury. No way for the season to end, but honestly, did you expect any differnt?

NFL Preserves Their New Golden Boy, 23-20

For most of the first half, it looked like the Chefs might have just enough to keep the Bungs at bay. Chris said something about them being a second half team and, sure enough, they pulled that horseshoe right out of their asses again and I feared I might have to listen to two solid weeks of Joe Burrow fellating. The Bungs left just enough time on the clock for Mahomes to do what Mahomes does. Then, the refs did what the refs sometimes do. I texted, “I like Mahomes, but that was a Premier League flop right there.”

The Verdict

Overall, chalk won this 2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem. A bit boring from a gambling point of view, but I guess sometimes Vegas has to win, right? The old place is just falling apart at the seams, right, fellas? In any case, join us later in the week (probably Sunday since that marks a week until the game for our Super Bowl preview. I don’t have a witty superlative yet, but I’m workshopping a couple and will have a decision by this weekend.

2023 NFL Conference Championship Extravaganza

Introduction

Two weeks ago I simply wrote a “preview”. Last week, I wrote the Divisional Round “spectacular“. In the past, the Super Bowl was an extravaganza. For some reason, I upgraded this weekend to 2023 NFL Conference Championship Extravaganza. That means I need to come up with something even bigger for next weekend. Heck, power creep finally comes to 2 Guys Gaming.

At the beginning of the playoffs, I said, “I don’t want it, but I have a feeling that this year we see Bungs/9ers in the Super Bowl.” Now, here we stand, one game before that and it remains a very real possibility. I guess the only solace I take from that is my fake future bet still stands as a very real possibility. My father always told me to never bet the game where the ball bounces funny, but my fake bets the last two years tell me otherwise.

In the past, I wrote a blurb on my thoughts on each of the potential matchups. Since I woke up this morning and realized I never wrote this article, time prevents that. But I posted something on the 2 Guys Gaming Instagram and Twitter pages for each one.

Wrong football, but I got fake stacks and stacks.

9ers at Iggs, 3:00 pm

The only real question mark here is Brock Purdy. I nearly wrote his name as Blake Bortles and then Brock Lesnar. Even showing the success he has in his early career, I left the respect off his name. When I texted the group chat that I would ride Bungs/9ers, Jason mentioned that he thinks that Purdy comes back to being a rookie for this game. The Iggs are no joke, but neither is that Frisco defense. I think they Flacco this one like they did the Pokes last week.

Bungs at Chefs, 6:30 pm

Get used to this. Mahomes, Alllen, and Joe Cool rule the AFC right now and some combination of them in the AFC Championship is the new norm for at least the next 5-6 years. Of the three, Joe Cool gets the least accolades and adoration, but he beats the pants off the others when it counts. If Mahomes’ injury is real, then the Bungs wallop the Chefs. If not, I see a shootout similar to Bills/Chefs last year.

The Verdict

Quick and to the point for this 2023 NFL Conference Championship Extravaganza. I hope for Chefs/Iggs. The NFL doesn’t care much for what I think, so that means that my fake 9ers/Bungs bet pays off. Come back in a couple of weeks for our new and improved Super Bowl preview no matter who plays.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem

Introduction

I found myself home alone on Saturday as the Chefs/Jags game started. So, I did what any red blooded middle aged American male would do. I listened to the Lumineers on vinyl, built a Lego Lamborghini, and watched the game. My wife and youngest came home from the swim meet during the game, but they went off to their own thing. I watched neither the Iggs/Gynts nor Bungs/BIlls because I knew how they’d end. Fittingly for the losing teams, a true 2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem.

The Lambo in question. Pretty cool set.

I kept an eye on the 9ers/Pokes via Gamecast and the text chain with Jason and Chris. I even started to believe for a bit that maybe the Pokes could pull off the upset. Alas, glad they didn’t because my 9ers/Bungs fake future plus the parlay that I doubled up Sunday morning both still play.

Chefs and Mahomes Play Dead, 27-20

I texted Chris during the game, “Rut roh, Mahomes is hurt.” Then, Chad Henne came into the game and threw a touchdown pass. And, then, Mahomes miraculously came back to hobble/hop/skip his way through some bad passes and ultimately the gutsy win. Tape it, shoot it with painkiller, and get out there, Kid. The NFL won’t make billions without you.

Iggs Silence Gynts and “Sharps”, 38-7

I gave this a sentence or two in the preview. That’s all it deserves. But, my fake tease paid, so that’s nice.

Buffalo Buffalos it Finally, 27-10

I like Josh Allen. I like the city of Buffalo and the Bills. What I don’t like is being right about this team and what it does to my brain. I feel so badly for the city of Buffalo. Cigarette Smoking Man, if you’re out there, remove the curse please. I can’t watch this team rip out the hearts of their fans every year like this.

Pokes Buffalo It, Too, 19-12

Other than the aforementioned and ultimately false hope, and the weird score, I don’t care that much about Dallas or their football team or this game. Like I said, I doubled up on a Bungs/9ers fake moneyline parlay earlier in the day, so I hoped for a 9ers win. Other than that, just go away.

The Verdict

Early in the playoffs, I said how much I didn’t want to see a 9ers/Bungs Super Bowl. Then, on my fake bet sheet, I filled them out as the “likely” combination. With a hobbled Mahomes and an overconfident Iggs team, that might just pay off. Oh well, I never watch the game anyway, so what do I care? 2023 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem in the books. Conference Championship Extravaganza coming up at the end of the week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

2023 NFL Divisional Round Spectacular

Introduction

In our coin flip post mortem, we worried about the Bills, hated the Jags, Bolts, VIkings, and GIants, and didn’t care all that much about the 9ers, Hawks, Bungs, and Rats. In a shocking turn of events, we liked the Cowboys more than any other team last weekend. I guess all I can say about that is, “Thank goodness Mahomes is back this weekend.” He is the only thing making this 2023 NFL Divisional round spectacular.

On that subject, Christine, Craig, Leanne, and I went to the UMass/UConn hockey game last night. The alma mater lost a heartbreaker, 4-3, in overtime. In spite of that, we enjoyed the game. And what does any of this have to do with Mahomes? Well, Craig and I caught up on our usual sport talk. And, he mentioned that he hated Mahomes. Wait, what? I might have to reconsider this friendship after all these years.

Besides, look at these seats!

Jags at Chefs, Saturday 4:25pm

As it happens, Mahomes plays in our first game. Most people think the Chefs roll. The NFL scheduling department clearly believes that, too. They put this as the Saturday matinee because they know the only people watching then are fans of the teams and the degenerate gamblers. Even though that’s not me, what I say next will give you pause. I put a fake 480 on a KC/Phi 6.5 point tease. Still, I plan to meet Christine and Quinn for dinner after his swim meet.

Gynts at Iggs, Saturday 8:15 pm

The sharps all like New York in this game. Other than the fictional money I just mentioned, I don’t care one way or another who wins this game.

Bungs at Bills, Sunday 3:00 pm

I worry again about the Bills this weekend. Like everyone, I want a repeat of Bills-Chefs from last year. However, as I said to Craig yesterday, while I like Allen, I hate him, too. He thinks he’s Mahomes. It doesn’t need to be said. Nevertheless, after that amazing analysis up there, I need to flesh this section out a bit more. So, let me definitively say, “Josh, sweetie, you are no Patrick Mahomes.” Stop trying to be. Play within your game and you will be fine against the Bungs. Because, if I get mothereffing Joe Burrow in the Super Bowl again, I hold you personally responsible.

Pokes at 9ers, Sunday 6:15pm

If I bet on this stupid sport, I’d put my mortgage on the 9ers in this game. They, by far, come into this weekend as the most complete and healthy (in spite of Jimmy G-sus) team. The Pokes defense, when they want to be, can absolutely smother teams. I don’t see that happening this weekend against San Fran.

The Verdict

Truly, only Mahomes makes this 2023 NFL Divisional Round spectacular. Craig said that any potential matchup next weekend is okay with him. I agreed last night, but must have been high on the potential of the hockey game. Today, in the light of a new day, I want Bills/Chefs and Iggs/Pokes. So, we are sure to get Bungs/Chefs and Iggs/9ers. See you next week for the post mortem and conference championships extravaganza.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post Mortem

Introduction

Someone called us out on the page many years ago. They said it focused too much on pop culture and not enough on gaming. After that, I changed the tagline to reflect my “occasional pop culture musings”. During especially active times, that includes movie and TV show reviews. Mostly, I just cover major NFL and college events. One of my favorites ever year is the NFL Wild Card weekend, which I dubbed the Coin Flip Weekend. The NFL, as always tried to upsell us by attaching a “super to the beginning.” I refuse, so this is just a regular old NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post mortem.

Because, honestly, I found none of the games particularly compelling. I think the most controversial thing I texted all weekend was in response to the Bills-Fins game, “Another choke job in the making?” Buffalo played just well enough to avoid that, but I worry about my boy Josh Allen against the horseshoe up Cincy’s ass. More on that in the preview Saturday morning before the games. I forgot until the last minute about my annual previews of the playoffs. Fear not, fans of Flip! I included all of the prognostications in my post mortem.

This year, we upgraded Flip to a Greek coin, a Silver Tetradrachm Bactria bearing the bust of Eucratides. Blame random.org and my weird obsession with Greek things.

Frisco Spanks the Seachickens, 41-23

Prognostications: I picked Frisco. Flip had the 49ers by a count of 52-48.

I admit to thinking that Seattle might have a shot to pull off the upset. Then Brock Purdy things happened (and who knew at the beginning of the year that we would have Brock Purdy things happening in the playoffs?) and Frisco cruised. But they can never take the fact that Geno Smith outperformed Russell Wilson in a major way and reinforced my belief in NFL karma.

Jags Come Back On the Bolts, 31-30, and Shock the World

Prognostications: I foolishly backed the Bolts. Flip believed, 55-45.

Well, they shocked me. Okay, I woke up mildly surprised after catching up on the text chain and seeing the result of the game. You think I’d have more loyalty to the Jags. One year in fantasy football, riddled by injuries at the QB position, I rode Blake Bortles the last few weeks right to one of my two championships. But, like all of the AFC South (and honestly NFC South this year), the best I can muster is thundering indifference. Honestly, I wish we just sent them all overseas and try the NFL Europe experiment again.

Buffalo nearly Buffalos It Away Against the Fins, 34-31

Prognostications: I picked Buffalo in blowout. Flip split it 50-50 with the tiebreaker going to Miami.

A few years ago (maybe many at this point), Buffalo played against New England. They dominated the whole game only to see Golden Boy and the Pats come back on them in spectacular fashion. The game ended on a muffed special teams play and New England won. All I texted Chris was, “That’s why you’re Buffalo.” And, in spite of having a once in a lifetime talent at quarterback, they are still Buffalo.

Gynts and Vikings Forget Their Defenses, 31-24

Prognostications: I picked the Gynts, along with all of the other sharps. Flip gave the Vikings the edge, 51-49

While that score is not particularly high, this game featured almost no defense. Every time I looked up, one team or the other easily gained 15-20 yards and both teams scored seemingly at will. I mean, we all knew Minny was fraudulent all year, but did they have to prove it so convincingly in the playoffs? Ye gods.

Bungs Break Rats’ Hearts, 24-17

Prognostications: Both Flip and I leaned heavily for the Bungs. Him, 55-45

I picked the Bungs. I even put them into one of my fictional future bets to make the Super Bowl. For what it’s worth, I also threw together a long shot of Rats/Pokes that would have paid off my mortgage if it hit. Then, I tuned into the game and witnessed the mess that all AFC North games become and posted. “I’m rooting for the meteor.” Old rivalries die hard, ya’ll Then, I hoped on hope that 1st and goal from the 2 meant that the Rats would pay my mortgage. Alas, the Bungs somehow scored instead and I thought NFL Gamecenter might be drunk. It happens more than you think.

Pokes Get Revenge for Gisele, 31-14

Prognostications: Both I and Flip (54-46) knew Brady is old, but the old man still puts a spook in us.

I texted something about finally being vindicated because Rodgers missed the playoffs and Brady threw for less than 100 in the first half of this game. The “media” started caping pretty hard for the two old guys late in the season and I’m glad they both got theirs. Jason accused me of jinxing it, which I might have, but not even the powerful Lucas jinx can defeat Father Time.

The Verdict

The AFC gives us some potentially great games. The NFC returns serve with two potential ass whippings. I forgot the Coin Flip preview, but remembered the NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2023 Post Mortem. Hopefully that bodes well for the previews and post mortems for the remainder of the playoffs. Who knows, we might even get a cameo from the original USFL. What’s that? A teaser? Stay tuned and find out.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

December 2022 Hearthstone Battlegrounds Update

Introduction

As you all know because you read my most recent articles, Hearthstone released a new card set. Blizzard brought us back to Northrend and one of the greatest fantasy story lines ever. The fall of Arthas still haunts my dreams. You all know what a sucker I am for story in video games. I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that this set came with an update to Battlegrounds, too. And, so, I planned to write a December 2022 Hearthstone Battlegrounds update.

Best laid plans, as they say. Spoiler Alert: No major new update to Battlegrounds ever came as a result of March of the Lich King. No new minion types or minions. No new quests. And, no update to the rewards track. I, and I assume most other players since I’m nowhere close to the top time played in this game, finished the track about a month ago. Now, I mainly play to finish the main weekly quest and advance that rewards track.

So, Nothing Then?

Not nothing, no. While I thought that the introduction of the “Undead” keyword into Hearthstone meant big things for the world of Battlegrounds, for now Blizzard kept them out of the game mode. I trust the developers and programmers, so I know they will eventually add them into Battlegrounds, but it’s curious that they didn’t as part of the new set release celebration.

What, then? A new undead hero to serve as a foil for The Lich King? Well, yes and no. Or, rather no and yes. They gave us a new hero. I played him the other day. He’s pretty fun. Technically, he isn’t alive, so you could argue that he fits the theme. Okay, I pulled a muscle stretching that metaphor. Okay, with little further ado, our new hero! *drum roll*

Yes, it’s true. Our intrepid new hero is Enhanc-o-Mechano. *cymbals crashing awkwardly* *a lone cough in the back of the room*

Yeah, a bit of a let down. But, along with this new hero comes a new quest reward. I admit to being underwhelmed by most quest rewards. I had a lot of fun with the one that gives your minions plus seven on stats, but they die after attacking. That took me to a first place finish a couple of weeks ago. Giving a hydra plus twelve stats in your hand every turn is fun, too, and figuring out when to finally play it adds some strategry. But, I think this one might be my favorite.

You can roll the usual bonuses; divine shield, windfury, and reborn are the most fun in that order. There’s also one that gives taunt, which pairs well with Leeroy and poisonous minions. Man, just talking about it makes me want to load up and play Battlegrounds even though I already finished my quest for the week.

The Verdict

Yeah, the December 2022 Hearthstone Battlegrounds update underwhelms for sure. I expected much more. Really, I just wanted them to add undead type to the game mode. That, alone, makes me sad. I hope you’re listening, Blizzard.

Coco: A Dia de Los Muertos Tradition

Introduction

Ever since the first time I saw Coco, I loved the movie. The story and music both brought me great joy. So, it was only a matter of time until my family and I decided to make it a cheesy family tradition to watch it on the day after Halloween.

The Tradition

Like Frozen before it (and yes, I understand that it is not technically a Christmas move), the tradition started innocently enough. Two years ago, I suggested the movie for a pick me up during a particularly long and difficult Covid year. November 1st was a Sunday, so we all faced some bastardization of remote and hybrid learning.

Then, we watched it again last year. Because nothing actually happens unless social media knows about it, I posted something on Instagram about it. Several people reached out to say what a great tradition we started and that cemented it for years to come.

At the end of last year, I bought a record player for myself. Liam found out about it and thought it was a Christmas present for him. So, I repurposed it into a family gift and bought him Abbey Road in tandem. Earlier in the month, I saw that Wal*Mart had the Coco soundtrack LP. So, I picked it up.

Epilogue

As soon as Christine saw the record, she said, “I knew it.” I listened to the thing three times in the first day. Ever since, I looked forward to this day to be able to watch the movie again. Thanks for taking a walk down memory lane for me. Come back later in the week for our opening celebration of “Thankful for Gaming”.

Hellraiser 2022: Great, Good, Decent

Introduction

In my last review, I mentioned that I only consider Halloween and Scream to be worthy horror franchises. Two things as a follow up. First, I looked at Hellraiser 2022 several times in the queue before finally firing it up to watch it. When Christine found out that’s what I was watching she said, “I don’t remember if I ever saw Hellraiser.” I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure myself. I might have watched it. Maybe I just absorbed the basic plot points from years of seeing clips on television and the internet.

Second, Christine finally admitted that she hated the new Halloween. Okay, that’s not entirely correct. She said it took her a week, but she decided that she didn’t like it. After a week myself, the thing that bothers me most is that Michael went from an unstoppable murder machine at the end of Kills to a murder hobo living in a sewer pipe without proper explanation. Otherwise, I’m okay with what I said last week.

The Decent: A Good Start

As an introduction to the Hellraiser universe, this movie fills that role nicely. I know that Hellraiser generally has a different vibe from other horror movies. It plays up the sadism much more than this movie does. However, we live in a different time now and I don’t think that many people are as enamored with watching sexual abuse play out on screen as maybe they were in the past. Sure, call me a melting snowflake who is woke (more on that in a bit), but I’m okay with the implication of the act without witnessing it firsthand. Besides, isn’t that supposed to make it scarier?

The Good: It’s Not Hellraiser from the Early 2000s

Again, having not watched the original Hellraiser (at least that I can remember), I never knew what I missed from the series. Like any of these franchises, though, it suffered some lean times towards the end of the initial popularity that got even leaner as they milked the cash cow for all it’s worth. So, I consider myself lucky that I came into the series during the trip back up to prominence.

The Great: Try Something New

Like Halloween Ends, this movie went in a different direction. Other than tone down the ultraviolence, a woman plays Pinhead in this iteration. Again, I’m sure some basement dwelling cave troll immediately went to some message board to scream about how Hellraiser is somehow now woke, but as usual I don’t see a problem here. I thought she brought a cool energy to the role and hope they do make more movies.

The Verdict

If they make another one, as tends to happen with these things, they will probably push the envelope a bit more. Perhaps, then we can see what people’s appetite is for the horrific “pleasures” normally dished out by the Cenobites. Until then, let them wallow in their misery. I, for one, enjoyed Hellraiser 2022.

Halloween Ends: Great, Good, Decent

Introduction

I don’t mind going into a movie with spoilers. What I generally try to avoid before watching a movie is reviews. So, it surprised me a bit when Aiden mentioned that one of his friends rated Halloween Ends 4 out of 10. So, while watching the movie, I looked up some reviews and found them to be…mixed at best. Horror movies often receive poor critical acclaim, so no surprise there. However, fans, in somewhat shocking amounts, crapped on the movie, too.

Full disclosure: Halloween (and Scream) are the only two horror franchises worth watching in my opinion. I liked the first two movies in this series and thought they went a long way to reinventing the saga while staying true to the roots. So, if you are looking for another hate watch of the movie, go somewhere else. In addition to being so overwhelmingly positive of creative projects that I needed to change my format (also, the old format referenced a 60 year old movie), I genuinely enjoyed watching this movie with Aiden and Christine.

The Decent: The Story

Having grown up with Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street (though I liked reading the novelization of that one because it went into more detail on Freddy’s background), I laugh when people talk about the story of horror movies as a reason for their negative review. And, yet, here I am mentioning story as my first reason. Was it the best story? No, of course not.

But, both Aiden and I agreed that they made these movies because it means that I never have to watch the Rob Zombie version of Halloween ever again. You want to talk about garbage? Those movies are the epitome of terrible story and unnecessary ultra violence. We also both convinced ourselves that Halloween Ends was only a portal into another reboot on the 50th anniversary. They made the story so compelling, in my opinion, that I even searched on Google to see if they put a hold on a Halloween Begins web page. For the record, I didn’t find any evidence.

That doesn’t mean it’s not still possible.

The Good: Connections

One thing these movies always do well is connecting the new to the old. This one went especially out of its way to put references into the other movies. More than once, I found myself doing the Leonardo DiCaprio meme to the television. Once, I shouted, “They’re going to do it! They’re going to do the kill from the first movie!”

And, they did…

The Great: The Theme Song

Just kidding. But, on the real, when the credits finally rolled and the song started playing, I said, “This is the best theme song ever. It fits the movies so well.” The actual great is Jamie Lee Curtis. People say that they come to these movies for the killing, but we all know we are there to see how Laurie is adapting to the latest horrors thrust upon her by her psychotic brother.

Curtis again masterfully plays the part of grieving mother and pissed of survivor in equal parts. We watch as she feels the spirit of Michael in Corey and the corrupting influence spreading to her granddaughter, Allyson. Like I said in the “Decent” section, Aiden and I both wanted this to end up leading into the next generation of Halloween. For some of the movie, we both said, “Is this is going to be a tandem going forward?” Unfortunately, not, but they kept us going for a while and I still can’t wait until 2028 when “Halloween Begins” hits theaters.

The Verdict

Of the three of these movies, Halloween Ends is by far the weakest. I still prefer it to the Rob Zombie fiasco. I will watch all three of them annually until the next set of movies in 6 years. Be on the lookout for them. Even if they don’t actually happen, I’ll spend some time writing them.