Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.
A couple of months ago, I wrote about my brief subscription to Board Game Bento. They had some a discount code for the holidays and I always wanted to try the service. Unable to pass up a deal that gave me a chance to do just that, I signed up. I already wrote an article about the first month’s box. Due to a mix up with my Paypal account, I got subscribed for a second box even though I meant to cancel after only one.
As Bob Ross is fond of saying, that was a happy little accident. I wasn’t sure that I would continue with the subscription beyond that first month. I’m still not sure if I will and the subscription is currently on hiatus until I determine if it will be worth it. I think that I might have mentioned that the dollar value more or less checks out, but maybe not all of the games are ones that our family will play. In addition, Christine made the point that we already have a ton of games and not much room for storage right now.
As a result, the current answer is leaning not very heavily in the “no” column. Even if only one of the games is playable by the family (and so far, we have found at least one from the first two boxes that we’ve received. You may have deduced, therefore, that this article is about the game that we played from that second box. Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!
Yes, you are also correct in assuming that I only said that so that I could post a picture of my man crush.
The theme of the second box was time. There were two card games that looked interesting. One can even be played solitaire. However, we haven’t tried either of the card games yet. Christine noticed the board game, Professor Evil and the Citadel of Time, said that it looked interesting, and she, Aiden, Quinn, and I played through the game.
The Good
The game is a cooperative game, which is great for our family. None of us are really that competitive except for Aiden. I mean, we all have our competitive streaks as all people do, but we temper it with an overall attitude of just have fun with it. While it may not be effective for everyone, it has fostered a safe environment in which to play games. I’ve also been able to appeal to Chris’s charitable side and get him to adopt more friendly rules during our Magic games. I also think that he gets a lot of his competitive juices out during his games against Darren, so he’s often just looking for kitchen table fun when we sit down together.
My mother got us a game for Christmas a few years ago that was a cooperative game that we played a few times. It was a pretty good game, but I think that this game captures the spirit of games better than that one ever did. You work together as a team in an attempt to recover stolen artifacts from the mansion of Professor Evil. There are several obstacles in your way; traps, time and the professor himself.
But, if you are successful, you win one million dollars.
The Bad
This seems like a common theme for board games that we’ve played recently and here we go again. When Quinn and I played Flag Dash, the set up for the game took longer than our play through and the payoff was not worth the time invested. This game suffers from a similar issue. Christine took about 15-20 minutes to simply set up the game. I thought that was a bad sign and that we’d be in for another disappointing experience.
Luckily, unlike Flag Dash, once the game was set up, it was much more intuitive to play the game. We all picked up on the turn order very quickly, used strategy and teamwork when necessary to win the game. It looked a bit grim and that we might lose. Instead of giving up, though, we formulated a plan that worked and got us the victory just before the Professor escaped with his stolen goods!
The Ugly
I said earlier that I was slightly leaning “no” with regards to signing up for a longer subscription for Board Game Bento. I haven’t changed my mind completely yet, but there currently is a bit of an ugly internal battle going on inside of me. Logically, I know that I probably shouldn’t. Inside my gamer’s heart, though, I’m pretty positive that I’m going to make the illogical decision.
Nonsense is so much more fun.
I mean, really, we’ve gotten two boxes and have gotten at least two playable games from them. That’s all I’m looking for right now. As the boys get older and get involved in more things, as I work two jobs that keeps me out of the house for 12-16 hours a day, and as we all enter that time in our lives when we all are drifting apart for a few years, the time that we do get together is precious and I’m always thinking of ways to increase that time and make it more memorable. So, perhaps it isn’t such utter nonsense after all.
The Verdict
This was a fun game. Initially, we sold it to the boys and ourselves as a game similar to Clue. Since they all enjoy playing that game so much, it wasn’t hard to convince them to give this one a try. It wasn’t as much like Clue as we thought, but it was still a fun game. I especially liked both the cooperative nature of the game and that the game had a win condition. That was missing from the last cooperative game that we played. Though, to be fair, that game was mostly just for little kids to teach them about good sportsmanship and sharing, so probably not the best comparison. We haven’t played it again since that first time, but it should become a regular in our rotation for family game nights.
As far as the overall subscription, I’m no longer certain that I won’t sign up. I’m not even leaning in any significant way towards “No”. For the reasons discussed above, I might just give it another few months to disappoint me. Then again, Aiden is a fan of the Tinker Crates, those are much cheaper, and we can work together on those, too. Plus, I just bought a whole bunch of ebooks about designing video games, building robotic Lego structures, and making drones. I have a feeling we’ll be quite busy for the foreseeable future.
One of the reasons that I finally ordered an XBox One after so long of living in the past (well, really, I always live in the past when it comes to video games) is that a deal came along that I simply could not ignore. Chris texted me about it because he knew that I was looking. I also suspect that he secretly might be working for Microsoft and that’s how he can afford such a luxurious lifestyle. Granted, he did buy a PS4, but that’s exactly the kind of thing that a secret Microsoft employee would do to make it seem like he’s not working for The Man.
The bundle that Chris told me about was an XBox One with Forza, the Forza Hot Wheels DLC, GTA V (Five), and another game that I can’t remember right now. Well, the main reason that I wanted an XBox One was for cross platform Minecraft. I could buy the game (again), and would have. However, I noticed that Wal*Mart had the exact same bundle available with Minecraft instead of Forza. I like Forza, but I have not played it even a fraction of the time I’ve spent with Minecraft. That sealed the deal.
Minecraft is a hell of a drug.
It still took me a week or two to order the system. I wanted to have ample time to play it and my break (this week) was still a couple of weeks away. By the time I got around to ordering it, the other game (that I can’t for the life of me remember), was sold out. They were offering Destiny 2 instead. No big deal. The game that I really wanted was Minecraft. As I discussed in my last article, GTA is always just big, dumb fun.
In my discussions with Chris and Kevin about Destiny 2, I mentioned that I had heard mixed reviews of the game. I’m learning more and more that might not actually be the truth. Because of the proliferation of voices due to the internet and social media, we tend to hear and read things that may actually be popular opinion but become part of the zeitgeist due to repetition. What’s the saying?
If you repeat a lie enough times, eventually it becomes the truth.
In spite of the negative comments that I heard about Destiny 2, I bought the bundle. I suspect that they might have just been because people like bashing Activision whenever they can. It started (at least I started to notice it) when they invested in Blizzard a few years ago. I find it funny that one of the little guys who were just trying to make good games when I was a kid have become the 900 lb. gorilla in the room and a big bad simply because they want to give developers money to develop good games. I will never understand the psyche of nerds today.
The Good
In my GTA V (Five) article, I talked about the story in this section. Those of you who are regulars at the page know that I often talk about the story with games. I understand that not everyone is into good stories, but I feel like enough of us are that they keep trying to appease us with decent to good stories. Again, take this with a grain of salt because I don’t remember the source, but I heard the argument that some of the best narratives today are in video games. Actually, I just remembered where I heard it. Christine and I have been binge watching the MTV Scream show and a character made the point.
So, yeah….
Ignoring the source, I do think that they have a point. Since the graphics of games have gotten so good and realistic, they can’t really be used to sell a game anymore. As a result, there are more or less two ways to sell a game. First is with gameplay and the second is by writing a compelling story. While Nintendo has decidedly gone in the direction of gameplay, many other developers have chosen to hire better writers. Heck, one developer makes its money solely on “Story Mode” games.
I appreciate both methods and am still a huge fan of Nintendo. However, as I get older and my time is at more of a premium, I find myself playing and replaying those games that offer the story. If there’s any question about that, I have played through Portal 2 twice, once by myself and once while the boys watched to show them the story. I discovered it again the other day when I was trying to hook up a controller to the computer for Minecraft and started playing through it again. It wasn’t at my favorite part of the story yet, so I didn’t finish it again, but it’s only a matter of time.
The cake may be a lie, but Portal 2 is the real deal.
Again, similar to GTA V (Five), I’ve only gotten to play a bit of the game the other night before passing out on the couch. Whereas I only got a little bit of the way through the tutorial missions there, I am about 2 hours into Destiny 2. In that time, I can confidently say that the story is going to be good. It’s not a terribly original story and might actually be the only story that these types of games are producing at this point, but it is a good start and I can tell that it should keep me interested in the game for a bit.
The Bad
I’ve never been a fan of first person shooters. Well, that’s not technically true. One of the first games I ever became obsessed with was DOOM and then Hexen after that. I got Quake for the Nintendo 64, but I didn’t play that much. By that time, I had moved on to 3D platformers because of Mario 64 and Spyro the Dragon. I also really liked sports games, especially MLB The Show for the PSP. It wasn’t that I didn’t like FPS games, it’s just that there were so many other games out at the time and what felt like a glut of first person shooters. I think this was around the time that all of the military games were being released. Because I wasn’t a social gamer at the time, I had absolutely no use for them.
Since then, Chris and I have been terrible at one of the Call of Duty games and one of the Rainbow Six games, so I’m more willing to play FPS.
Sure the game has some interesting mechanics. I like the “ghost” for each character. It’s sort of like your own personal GLADoS, only not as funny nor sarcastic. Also, at least with the type of character that I chose, there is a mystical element to the game similar to that from Hexen. However, at the heart of the game, it is just a typical first person shooter and not a revolutionary one like (broken record time) the Portal series.
The Ugly
When I was talking to Chris about the game, he mentioned that it was one of those “always online” games. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but now I do. During the game, it seemed like other players were able to join me during different parts of the game. I first noticed it when I was playing through and I saw that someone needed me to revive them. Shocked that someone else was in my game, I missed the chance and apologize if that was you.
Though, to be fair, I’m no good at reviving even if I’m in the same room as the other person. Ask Chris.
This in and of itself was not ugly. I actually didn’t mind having the help and needed it because I died twice during that part of the game even with the assists. But, I was also talking to Kevin about the game and he mentioned that the “always online” part of the game extends to personal lobbies that you might make to play with friends. Those lobbies are always open and other players will come in to grief you and your friends while you’re trying to play the game. I generally avoided PvP realms in World of Warcraft because of the griefing that people would do. I just don’t understand the appeal. So, if that’s something that actually is a problem in the game, I want no part of it.
The Verdict
Similar to my Grand Theft Auto article, this one is based on limited experience with the game. As a result, my opinion may change and I can revisit this in a month or two if I find that things are radically different then. As of right now, I very much enjoyed my time in the game. The story is engaging, the gameplay is just different enough to keep me interested and I don’t exactly have many other games that are occupying my time right now.
Always on the cusp of several years ago when it comes to just about anything, I finally purchased an XBox One. “Why,” you might ask, “after all of this time, did you finally buy an XBox One?” If you are asking about the choice of console, there’s really only one answer and it is the answer that regular readers of the page will recognize. The XBox one version of Minecraft is the first one to be cross platform with the Windows 10 and mobile version. As Minecraft is still a huge deal in our house, that sealed the deal on the XBox as the next console in the house.
If you are more wondering why I finally dropped the cash to get one, my wife was wondering the same thing. It came in the mail on a day that they were all home due to snow, so I took it into the living room to show Aiden because I knew that he was excited about it and waiting for it to arrive. “What’s that?” She asked. Aiden replied, “An XBox One.” “Why did you buy an XBox One?” She inquired. This time I replied. “Because I’ve been working my balls off for 2 months and I finally have the money.” Aiden, our child who is most enamored with “bad words” giggled at my response and then asked me to set up the console so that he could play some Minecraft.
Minecraft is a hell of a drug.
Over the next two days, I got texts from both Chris and Kevin asking me how I was enjoying the new console. To be fair, I had texted them both that I finally ordered the thing and when it arrived. However, I hadn’t even been able to play it yet when they both asked me, so I had to sheepishly reply that the boys were enjoying it, but I hadn’t had a chance. I did try to play Grand Theft Auto V (Five), but as soon as I put the disk in, it started to install something that looked like it was going to take at least an hour and I thought I had to be up at 6 the next morning. Plus, I just didn’t have the patience for that. Back in my day, you put the game in and you played it!
Well, I’m here to report that I finally got to play GTAV (Five) for about an hour last night. That’s the only game that I’ve gotten to play so far, so this article will just be about my first impressions of the game. I hope to do something on cross platform Minecraft next week and maybe in a few weeks, I can do a deeper dive on GTA and maybe even Destiny 2 (the other free game that I got with the console) after that.
The Good
Bear in mind that I have only made it through (maybe) half of the tutorial of the game. I had a beer last night, the second mission is a driving one, and I am proof that you should not drink and drive, not even in a video game. I couldn’t, for the life of me, finish that mission. So, I was only able to see the opening shootout, the cut scenes with the psychologist and introduction of the two repo men, and some of the driving mission before I failed it. Not once, but twice.
No lie. No joke. This is as far as I made it in my first attempt. I made it to the part where you cut through the alley on the second one. Don’t drink and drive, kids.
Nevertheless, what I saw of the story was good. It isn’t that much different from what I remember in previous games. For reference, I played GTA3 to the end and then used the tank code to beat it so that I could see the ending, played a ridiculous amount of “try to jump the canal on your motorcycle” in Vice City, and just couldn’t get into San Andreas because it felt a little to real for me. I had a similar reaction to movies like Boyz N The Hood.
Even with the familiar feel, I was still invested in the characters that I met. Rockstar does a good job with their storytelling in their games and that is something that I appreciate. In fact, the story for Red Dead Redemption was not terribly original, but it was very well executed. The same can be said for this story. I can’t wait to finish that second mission to see what kinds of crazy trouble I can get into and what weirdos I meet.
The Bad
The story might be good, but I already wrote that it is, to put it mildly, familiar. I also mentioned Red Dead Redemption earlier. By the time that game came out, I had played enough GTA that I knew the formula. As a result, it took a while for me to actually play that game. I often derisively referred to the game as Grand Theft Auto: Horse. Consequently, when I finally got around to playing Red Dead Redemption, I got a good lesson in not judging a game by its cover because it remains one of my favorite games I’ve ever played.
And, the 2nd one became like Portal 3 or Half-Life 3, a fairy tale told to children to keep them docile and well behaved.
I mean, can you blame me? Grand Theft Auto 3 was pretty revolutionary at the time. They took a top scrolling racing game and developed it into a fully realized 3 dimensional sandbox game that was almost on par with Super Mario 64. I already told you that I played that one so much that I got to the end. Granted, it was with a cheat at the very end, but hopefully over the last 3 years of this web page I’ve successfully painted the picture that I am a casual and lazy gamer that has only gotten more lazy due to the time commitment of adulthood.
So, what do you do when you have a successful formula in movies, games, or anything else really? You abuse that formula to within an inch of its life. Humans are more creatures of habit than anything, so you can exploit that fact and just release the same thing over and over and people will still buy it. As a result, Vice City was just GTA with motorcycles! San Andreas was GTA with bikes. I never played 4 because I soon tired of the formula, but I assume that’s when they introduced airplanes and helicopters. If not, then this is that game.
I am invested in the game, so I will continue to play it. I don’t expect to be blown away by any new technological advances. Unlike another game that I started to play that is very much like the original, The Sims, I suspect that I might get bored of this one earlier. Who knows, maybe the story and nostalgia will be enough to keep me engaged right to the end.
Then again, the new DOOM (and Fallout 4) beckons and DOOM was my first pew pew game love, so it might end up winning my heart again.
The Ugly
I may be an old man. And I probably can remove the may from that previous sentence. And I definitely can remove the probably from that previous sentence. I am an old man. I’m not ancient, but I am (statistically speaking) on the other side of the proverbial hill. So, what I’m about to say won’t come as much of a shock.
Granted, I haven’t made it too far into the game, but so far the violence level is high, but it’s not off the charts. So far, it is just spatters of blood. Certainly nothing like the disemboweling that happens in the Mortal Kombat series. I expect that to change, so something might come along to shock me into reconsidering my time with this game.
The other mature themes have yet to show up, too, so I can’t speak on them. But, the language. I’ve only played through maybe 5 minutes of actual game and they’ve used the “F” word more than a full length movie. I mean, I haven’t been counting, but when the phrase “F” this “F”ing “F” is used, that seems a bit excessive. Bear in mind that I’ve used that phrase more than once in my life.
Heck, the reason that I laugh so hard at the soap scenes in A Christmas Story is that I’ve lived it more than once.
So, I’m no stranger to swearing and I don’t even consider swearing that bad. It’s just that when anything is excessive, over the top, or it feels like it’s being used to cover up weak storytelling or dialogue, I get a little nervous. Also, I’ve listened to a podcast series recently that has changed my mind a little bit about the extraneous effects of certain pop culture phenomenon. I’m not going to jump into the GTA is contributing to the downfall of American life (except I kind of am skirting the issue), but we can’t possibly know all of the repercussions of any single event. Now that I’m older and the kids will eventually have to take over for me and the other old farts, I worry what legacy we’ve created for them.
The Verdict
This has become my calling card. Like the Tick with “Spoon!”, I have “It’s *fill in the blank*.” There’s a reason for that and I wrote about it earlier. When you find something that works, you repeat that formula until it doesn’t work anymore because, well, why would you? Why take the resources to develop something new that will take time when you can just slap a new wrapping on the old thing and nobody will question you?
Well, that’s where we are with GTA. Good or bad, it’s GTA at this point. They might give it updated graphics. They might be able to convince some Hollywood hotshots to lend their voices to the series. They might let you drive helicopters or boats. They’ll put in an online mode. But, in the end, it’s just GTA. For now, I can forgive that because the story and my memories of the old games have me engaged, but I can’t promise that will last. After all, I bought GTA 4 on the recommendation of a friend and never opened the game.
And that one was supposed to feed exclusively off of my nostalgia for the “original”.
A few days ago, I noticed a post on Instagram about the new Hearthstone “year” and was surprised. I don’t know why I was surprised. I knew that it was about this time that they started their version of Standard and then it would have been around this time that they had their first rotations. However, unlike Magic, a game that I am almost always aware of new sets and rotations, Hearthstone is more of a hobby.
Bear in mind that Magic itself is only a hobby and you will then understand the priority that Hearthstone is not for me. I am back to playing a bit each day to complete a daily quest or two. I watch the game on stream because it is an easy game to just veg out to while I’m writing or doing school work. Every once in a while I get delusions of grandeur and think that I’m going to grind to legend one month. So far, I haven’t pursued that particular goal. With my current schedule, I don’t think that I will anytime soon, either.
So, to make a long story short (I know, too late!) I had no idea that the rotation was imminent. Once I saw the Instagram post, I decided to do a little bit of research on what was imminent for the “Year of the Raven.” Needless to say, true to form, Blizzard did not give much information other than the name and the cards that were rotating into the Hall of Fame. Sure, I could speculate. Since I’m not a Hearthstone acolyte and I haven’t played WoW consistently for about 5 years now, any speculation on my part would most likely be wildly inaccurate.
When has that ever stopped us before?
The Good
Once upon a time, Molten Giant was part of an OTK warrior combo that quickly got nerfed via the Warsong Commander nerf. They had to further nerf Warsong Commander when OTK Patron Warrior became a thing. The final nail in the coffin of this card came because of the stifling nature of handlock and the fact that they often could cast all giants for very cheap or even free, as was the case for this card.
I was a huge fan of the old Handlock decks because they fit right into my playstyle. It was a control deck that required several different decisions to be made on every turn. I wasn’t the best Handlock player, though, and I understand why the deck became so dominant when played by players who are much better than I am. This card needed to be nerfed if it was to continue into the future and shake up the standard meta.
I mentioned in my discussion of the latest round of nerfs that I liked that Blizzard wasn’t ignoring their eternal format as I was afraid they might. Some of those decisions were directly related to the Wild format. This decision is the same. Because there are more tools to deal with a pre-nerf Molten Giant, they’re giving it a chance to see if it can find a place in the meta. I don’t know if this will allow old Handlock to shine again, but I’m holding out hope.
The Bad
Out of the three cards that are being put into the Hall of Fame, this is the decision that I understand the least. While this is a frustrating card to play against, I don’t often see it in Standard decks at all. I play against it all the time in Wild already because I play against a bunch of Mill rogue and occasionally see them in a Freeze or Quest Mage deck.
I’d have rather seen Doomguard in this slot and I’m not the only one. I’ve seen more than one discussion in Twitch chat (yes, they do happen sometimes) and on message boards about how annoying it is to play against Warlock with Doomguards, cubes, and Skull of the Man’ari. Warlock may or may not have been as oppressive as everyone thought when they nerfed priest (mostly) with the last patch, but I do know that I have seen a lot of Warlock being played on stream. I’m astounded that Doomguard is not in this spot.
This leads me to believe that maybe they are releasing a standard card that does a similar thing or would cause this card to be busted wide open. I know that Blizzard seems to shy away from pushing a mill strategy, even though some players want to see that in Hearthstone. I understand why Blizzard would not want it. Without a graveyard and the possibility of interaction, cards that are burned are gone. It’s just not a fun strategy for the kind of game that Hearthstone is designed to be. Hopefully, Blizzard hasn’t decided to make mill viable in Standard. The fact that this card is moving to Wild only makes me think that they have.
The Ugly
This is perhaps the single most frustrating card to play against in the game. Since the only win condition is to reduce your opponent’s health to zero, adding immunity to the game messes up all calculations and delays that victory by at least one turn. Since mage also has very powerful minion removal, the ability to gain life through Artificer now, and the ability to have more than two Ice Block in their decks, a sure victory often becomes a defeat that nothing could have been done to prevent.
So, I understand that reason for moving this card to Wild. However, they just gave a few new cards to Rogue that give them immunity for a turn similar to this card. So, I don’t completely understand the decision. Granted those cards work slightly different from this one and they can be played around (especially the secret that only grants immunity after damage is dealt and it doesn’t prevent the damage) easier than this one.
As a result, in addition to moving this card to Wild, perhaps they should have also adjusted this card so that it works more like that card or something. I honestly don’t know how they would change the card other than to make it like the rogue card, but that seems like a lazy way of doing things. A quick look at the most recent Wild snapshot shows that Mage decks that use Ice Block are only considered Tier 2, so perhaps Blizzard knows what they’re doing. So, I’m skeptical, but I guess that’s why I don’t design card games.
The Verdict
There are other things that they have announced. First, that we here at 2 Generations Gaming are most excited about is the announcement of a tournament mode. Yes, we can start to network and advertise the web page with our own tournaments in Hearthstone! When Chris told me about it, I was beyond excited. When we first started having the idea for the web page, I always wanted to do a tournament for Magic and we’ve even had discussions about that, too. Things are really starting to come together.
Two other cool things for filthy casuals like us is that they are altering some of the more difficult quests to finish and making them easier. This will mean less time invested in getting my gold to buy my packs that I will never open. Finally, the new Druid hero is finally here and she is easy to get. Win 10 Standard games over the season and you will have Lunara instead of Malfurion. All great stuff.
As far as the new set, I don’t have much to say right now. I refuse to speculate because I’m mostly ignorant to both Hearthstone and World of Warcraft at this point. Anything that I might say or think will be simply guessing and even though I made the joke earlier, I’m not usually one to engage in wild speculation on what Blizzard might do. As we saw with my analysis of Ice Block, it is sure to be incorrect.
However, I have seen some speculation from others who know better than I do. First, someone said that the year of the Kraken seemed to deal with mystical and god like powers. Then, the year of the Mammoth dealt with large creatures and effects. Therefore, the year of the Raven will deal with dark and dreary themes. This made them conclude that the next expansion might have something to do with Duskwood. There was another image out there that made theory seem plausible, but I don’t exactly see Duskwood in that icon at the middle of the teaser. I suppose that we will see. Continue to visit for more of my analysis as we get closer to the release.
When discussing this article with Chris, I initially told him that I was going to write a defense of Cloverfield Paradox. After thinking about it for a minute, I amended that to support. First, I’m sick of defending things that I like from people who don’t like them. You don’t like something? Fine, but at least come up with a reasonable defense of why you don’t like it. We live in a culture that has glorified hate simply for the sport of it.
It has most recently coalesced around the release of Black Panther. I knew from the beginning that the release of the movie was going to be an epic crap storm of racists posting, tweeting, and outright lying about both the movie and the events surrounding the movie. True to form and the human condition (of which I am both amazingly inspired and terrifyingly suspect), things were much worse that I could ever have expected.
The fact that these idiots had to go to Twitter and YouTube to backlash with their “Wakanda isn’t real” nonsense proves just how running scared they really are.
But, this article isn’t about Black Panther. There will be an article about Black Panther once I get around to seeing it. I’ve been so busy with my 3 jobs that I haven’t had a chance. This article is about Cloverfield Paradox specifically and the Cloverfield “franchise” in general. I put franchise in quotes because nobody is entirely sure if these movies actually share anything in common other than the fact that JJ Abrams has chosen to take movies, insert out of context plot elements into them, and let people argue over what those out of context elements might mean.
“Okay,” some of you are saying, “you are making our argument for us. I thought you said this was going to be an article supporting the movie.” Well, you can interpret that last statement as a negative if you want. I think that says more about you than I ever could. I was simply stating a fact. As of right now, there is no judgement in that statement. The judgement comes next.
The Good
Marketing: If there’s been one consistent in the three movies that can loosely be called a franchise, it is that they have mastered marketing. The first one was involved in a ridiculously intricate viral web campaign back when that was a thing that led people chasing wild goose after wild goose. Not being one to be in the loop on these things, I had no idea about any of it until after I saw the movie and went searching for some background information. For some reason, I don’t care all that much about the origins of Godzilla or King Kong. But, this movie left just enough unsaid that I wanted to know more.
Plus, they technically didn’t lie and they showed the monster, but just enough to leave you wanting more. Such teases.
The second movie was so under the radar that I only peripherally knew about it because it used the word Cloverfield in the title. Huh, I thought,that’s weird that it is called 10 Cloverfield Lane. For some reason, though, this curiosity didn’t lead me to explore further. Probably because they marketed it as a completely different movie. It was a closed house thriller along the lines of Panic Room. Or, so I thought.
It wasn’t until the third movie that I realized that there were three. Netflix released this movie after the Super Bowl ended, showing that they can basically just beam stuff into your brain, or they will be able to once they figure out the technology, truly on demand. Well, at least on me (someone who isn’t often affected by ridiculous gimmicks), it worked and I stayed up until almost 2 o’clock in the morning watching the movie even though I had to be up at 7 for work. Furthermore, I wasn’t upset that I had given up sleep.
Science?: For a science fiction movie, the science of the movie wasn’t the focus. While that isn’t unusual, this seemed like the type of science fiction movie that wanted to focus on the science and have the option for fiction due to the science. Does that make sense? Probably not, so I’ll try to explain.
Sure, but what does the purple button have to say?
I don’t go into Star Wars expecting exact, or even accurate, science. Nerds are constantly trying to point to the fact that hyperspace can’t possibly be real and that lightsabers are physically impossible, but I simply don’t care. The latest nerd rage came when (spoiler alert), the ship jumped to lightspeed and blew up the other ship. That’s not why I’m at Star Wars. I’m there for the pew, pew, the vwoom, vwoom, and the music mostly. The plot is basic and some of the characters are cool, but for me Star Wars is just the comfy blankie from when I was younger.
Other science fiction stories try to get it right. They mostly fail, but at least they put some science stuff in there to make it seem like they know what the hell they’re talking about. I’m referring to the disaster movies like Twister or Armageddon. They throw all kinds of smart stuff out there for what they believe is the benefit of the audience to keep them in the fiction. Ultimately, though, they just end up sounding foolish and like theater people that failed science in high school.
At the beginning of the movie, I thought that the Cloverfield Paradox was going to be like the second type of movie. Because JJ Abrams made Star Trek more like that type of movie with the dark matter explanation. I should have known better. JJ Abrams likes to think that he’s one step ahead of people and zig when they expect him to zag. I wasn’t exactly zigged or zagged. Just a bit surprised.
Mostly, I just Zug.
The movie starts with some discussion of physics and the physics of alternate realities. Past, present, future, distorted time and space, that sort of thing. Then, it gets real quiet about it and just lets the science sort of tell the story. There is some mention later in the movie, but they don’t keep hitting you over the head with what is happening. Really, in my opinion, this is the best way to do things. Give the science and then just get the hell out of the way.
Weird: As a result of the introduction of quantum physics into the movie, they can make it weird and have a reason for it being weird. Because people, including those like me who only study it as a hobby, don’t completely understand the science behind it, you can do almost anything and it becomes plausible in the fiction.
While this kind of story can make some people uncomfortable, I absolutely love it. It gets my brain moving and causes me to think. Since most entertainment is just about turning off our brains and marveling (pun fully intended) at the two freaks of nature punching each other, I find it refreshing when something comes along and challenges me to be a little more active in the process.
This movie kept me up until 1:40 am watching and then another 20 minutes to a half an hour falling into a Google trap. Well played.
Just Dumb Fun: I had a conversation with a friend on Facebook about the movie. See, I posted there that I had watched it the night of the Super Bowl and then suddenly, I started seeing posts about it in my feed. It’s built into Facebook’s mind reading…er, algorithms. You get stuff that they think you want to see. It’s not that I didn’t want to see other opinions. It’s just a little unsettling anytime that Facebook gets that far into your brain.
He was one of the people who didn’t particularly care for the movie. I had no idea that there was such a backlash to it until I noticed that he didn’t like the movie, so I went in search of other opinions counter to my own. I saw that there were, in fact, people who didn’t like the movie. And, it wasn’t just that they didn’t like the movie. They really didn’t like the movie. That was how his post came across. He really didn’t like this movie.
Well, armed with this new information, I decided to show my support. I responded, “I liked it. It was just dumb fun.” He replied, “Is that what we’ve come to expect from this franchise?” I was dumbfounded. Suddenly Cloverfield is a venerated franchise that we’ve come to expect things from? I mean, it was ultimately revealed that the first one was about a giant baby monster destroying Manhattan in a temper tantrum because he missed his mommy. That’s a fairly ridiculous premise. I know what you’re probably thinking right now. This movie both made you think and was just dumb fun? What the hell?
Well, they did say the movie was a paradox. Perhaps that’s what they meant. I’m also starting to understand why my students hate me so much.
The Bad
Note: I’m going to change the format a bit for this article. I couldn’t argue anything negative about the movie. That’s not to say that it is a perfect movie. I wouldn’t even argue that it’s a great movie. But, it was a good movie and that’s how I want to remember it. Since I am mostly a positive person, instead of arguing my own bad, I will argue against the negatives that I’ve seen online and elsewhere. Besides, the article is supposed to be in support of the movie.
Not related to the other movies: I have seen and heard this argument made more and more in the weeks since the movie was released. Most recently, I’ve heard it argued as being a movie that was another movie that got bought out by JJ Abrams production company, slapped some Cloverfield paint on it, and released it straight to Netflix. This argument goes on to say that the “Netflix Exclusive” label is starting to lose some of its shine and starting to become this generation’s “Straight to cable/DVD”. I won’t argue with that. Netflix has had some strong original programming, but they are starting to get a little lazy with their originals lately.
This movie might be an extension of that and the fact that JJ Abrams seems to have created this “world” in which he can just drop some monsters or aliens, put the “Cloverfield” label on the movie, market it with some intrigue, and people will watch. I certainly did. But, I will argue that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’ve had a discussion with a few people, including those who are involved in creative careers and they all agree that every now and then you just have to shut off your brain and have fun. Not everything needs to be a life changing experience. So what if Abrams has demystified the Cloverfield mystique? Honestly, if it could be taken away that quickly, was it really even there to begin with?
The Blair Witch made 3 (?) movies from something that they never even showed on screen. Surely, ol’ Clovie has a few more in him.
Confusing: The other argument that I’ve heard against the movie is that it is confusing. Honestly, if this is a complaint that you have about the movie, I can’t really help you. As I mentioned earlier, it is weird (even campy), but that weirdness gets an explanation almost as soon as the movie starts. Again, some have pointed to this explanation as evidence of the previous point. Again, I won’t argue against that. Clearly, Cloverfield isn’t a franchise in the traditional sense of the word. Instead, every few years, we will get another “Cloverfield” movie.
Back to the explanation. Donal Logue, who I know as the stoner guy from VH1’s “I Love the….” series, is a paranoid YouTube personality (Maybe? It was very late/early in the morning when I watched it) that explains that by doing what they are about to do, they can affect multiple dimension, past, present, future. Call it lazy. Call it irresponsible. Call it whatever else you want to call it. I call it genius. In one reshoot, they explained the whole damn thing and set it up for whatever the hell they want to do going forward.
Jolly good show, old chaps. Here, here!
The Ugly
I’ve written several times of the toxic influence of the internet and how quickly things can spread. I had always hoped, perhaps naively, that would mean that information could become so ubiquitous as to make it irrelevant in the constant power struggle that we seem to have set up for ourselves and our species. I never considered that it is just as easy to spread misinformation and disinformation and lead to an increase in that struggle. I suppose I should have. I also suppose that I should be grateful. As an educator, I am a professional mythbusters, so the more myths, the more busting I have to do.
As a result of the ease with which information travels over this superhighway, fringe elements have become just as “reliable” as the general consensus for a lot of things. People who shout that they are mad about a black stormtrooper in Star Wars might only be a couple of dudes in their mom’s basement posting the same message over and over on message boards and social media. Due to the overly reactionary news cycle, someone picks it up, and then it becomes a platform upon which people are willing to fight and die.
I don’t know if this Cloverfield Paradox reaction is indicative of the majority or simply a fringe element. I do know that it hasn’t been met with the same vitriol as some of the other movies that have become a target recently. People are mostly just disappointed, which makes me think that it is a genuine reaction. However, the fact that there were such high expectations going into the movie that those expectations would not be met is puzzling to me.
Note: A visit to Rotten Tomatoes shows that it has a 17% with critics and a 48% (with a 3.1 out of 5 star average, so not sure how that works) score with fans, so it appears to be more or less not great by most standards.
I find it interesting that a Feminazi and racist against whites George Soros funded project would give such a diverse cast a bad rating like that.
The Verdict
Is Cloverfield Paradox a great movie? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Is Cloverfield Paradox a good movie? Not by many traditional measures, no. Is Cloverfield Paradox an entertaining movie? Yes, I can confirm that my sleep deprived brain got full entertainment from the movie.
And, honestly, that’s all I’ve come to expect from the movies. The first one was silly, dumb fun. I never saw the second one, but it sounds like it might have been the one to set expectations so high for this one. Although, from the sounds of it, the ending should have drawn the battle lines pretty clear for people. There are no rules in these universes. Anything goes. Be prepared for good, bad, ugly, and the just plain silly. Have some fun with it. Or don’t. We’ll keep on doing our thing.
I’ve played The Sims since the beginning. I was always a fan of the other Sim titles, most notably Sim City. I also played Sim Tower quite a bit and tried many of the others. However, I always came back to Sim City. In fact, one of the first games I downloaded for my phone was the Sim City game. I still play it almost daily.
When I heard that they were going to release a game that focused on the strange speaking denizens of those cities, I was excited. There’s just something about being in charge of virtual lives that appeals to me. I owned a Furby and Tomagachi. heck, I even got sucked into that silly “Chao World” mini game for Sonic Adventure.
I can still hear the voice, haunting my dream, asking me, “Why? Why did you let them die?” in an accusatory whisper.
In preparation for the relaunch of Noob and Sons, I played the latest version of the game, The Sims 4. The boys played a lot of it last year and over Christmas break. I wanted to take advantage of that interest to do our first show back on role playing. I also wanted to see what advances they’ve made in Sims technology.
The Good
Customization: As soon as I started the game, I was overwhelmed by the number of choices it gives you for characters. The game was always about letting you choose how your character looked and giving him or her a personality to match. However, they have taken that to the extreme in this game. You can change every aspect of your Sim’s looks and that isn’t an exaggeration. I spent about a half an hour just exploring the character creation screen before even playing the game.
No, you can’t customize everything. Actually, I’m not sure if you can change the naughty bits. You are going to have to figure that one on your own, perverts.
Helpful Tips: No game is complete anymore without a tutorial section. Ever since developers realized that nobody reads directions and got sick of email, DMS, and tweets asking them how to play their games, they’ve simply programmed the first 5-10 minutes of the game to be about how to play the game. The Sims are less intrusive than most games and they just have helpful tips that pop up every now and then to remind you what you’re doing just might cause your Sim to die by some horrific way or another.
An iPhone for Every Sim: Back in my day, you had to wait for a paper or not build a toilet in your house (because a mop was free) so that you could afford a computer to search for jobs. Not so anymore. In keeping with the times, your Sim has a smart phone that they can use to find a job. Furthermore, you are no longer limited to one or three jobs depending on your method of finding one. Now, you can choose from an array of jobs right from the start, so you can get right to improving your Sim’s life.
How long until Sims from the first game start complaining how out of touch these Quatros Sims are with their cell phones and their more robust work environments?
Other Quality of (Simulated) Life Enhancements: As you go along and do things, you gain access to new skills that you can then train up like normal. For instance, the other day, I sent my Sim out to trim a flower or something and she gained the gardening skill. I now assume that I have to continue to do things to improve that skill as I do normally, but I’m not sure what those things are yet. Even so, it is fun to have those Easter eggs that pop up simply from going through your day as a pretend human being. Sort of makes me wish things like that happened in real life.
Upgrade From “Live” Mode: Again, it used to be that you had to open a whole new mode if you wanted to upgrade your bed, toilet (once you upgraded the first time from a mop), or dishwasher. Now, if you right click on the object, the menu will give you the option to upgrade the item. I haven’t tried it yet to see if it still takes you into the “build” mode to do so. But, just being able to click the item and not having to search through the “build” mode menu is a great upgrade to the game experience.
The Sims Resource?: All this discussion of items, upgrading, and building new things made me think of one of the reasons that I enjoyed The Sims 2 so much and maybe didn’t like The Sims 3 (or at least, I didn’t see a reason to upgrade the number), is that there was this great resource (pun fully intended) web page that allowed you to download new things for the game. I went to search for it and it is still there. But, I think that Maxis might have built something right into the game that allows people to mod items. I kept getting a notification the other day when I played, but I didn’t follow up on any of them to see if that’s actually what it is. I will have to play again and verify before we record so I don’t sound like a total moron. Well, no more than usual.
The Bad
No Needs? (Oh, there they are): One of the most fun things about The Sims is that they are driven by 6 basic needs. You have to balance the day so that all of the needs get met. Otherwise your Sim becomes unhappy or even dead. Admittedly, there is some perverse pleasure in intentionally killing your Sim in increasingly more violent and ridiculous ways. But, that comes later after you’re bored of them and ready for a change. Until then, you want to keep them alive and happy.
It’s especially cool when your Sim comes back from the dead to haunt future generations.
At first, I thought they might have gotten rid of that part of the game. As it was such an integral part, I wondered how that might work and how the game would be any good. Why eat if you don’t have to eat? Why sleep if you aren’t tired? Then, I noticed that things were still affecting my Sim, so I thought that maybe they had hidden them from people to make you pay more attention to your Sim and his/her actions. Turns out that it just was hidden as a menu option where I didn’t expect it. So, only bad for a brief period of time, but it did make me question my purchase for that time.
Food costs money?: This might have started with The Sims 2, but I don’t remember at this point. All I know is that I was shocked to open the fridge and see that I had to pay money to buy the food to cook it. Furthermore, I couldn’t even make some dishes because I didn’t have the proper ingredients and I have no idea how to go about getting those ingredients. So, my poor Sim has nothing to eat aside from grilled cheese and cereal.
Being Bad Has Consequences: I’m not talking about Jessica Rabbit “bad”, though that might have consequences, too. I don’t have enough Sim friends nor a boyfriend to see if talking bad about them behind their backs or lying/cheating on your significant other will actually affect your Sim or their mood. However, if you do something terribly, then it will affect your Sim. For instance, my Sim cooked a bad meal and was in a funk for a few hours. Another time, she slept weird in her bed and was off the next day. These are cool little touches that make the game more interesting.
Oh well, nothing can defeat the Homer Simpson philosophy. Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.
The Ugly
At the end of the day, it’s still simulated human life. And, I think that we can all agree that real life isn’t all that great to begin with. You wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, maybe have an hour or two to yourself, go to bed, rinse, and repeat until you go crazy out of boredom or go through a mid life crisis. Which, I guess, is just a reaction to 35-40 years of a boring life. So, honestly, how much more exciting can they make simulated life? The answer, unfortunately, is not more exciting at all.
The Verdict
Not much has happened in Simsville over the years. Everything that was great about the games is still great about the games. There have been some quality of life improvements, but most of the parts of the game that weren’t fun still aren’t fun. Life, as we all too often learn, just isn’t as amazing as the magazines and social media profiles of jet setting young trust fund babies would have us believe. It’s mostly just going to work so you can afford to buy a toilet and don’t have to pee your pants any more.
I still love and enjoy the game. The boys, when the mood strikes them, will play for hours and laugh and giggle as their Sims do silly things that they’d never consider doing. Wait until their older and the realize that is happiness sucking, soul crushing life and the Sims are closer to reality than they ever expected.
Enjoy it while you can, Kids.
Okay, I don’t want to end this on a downer, but I also don’t want to ruin the joke. I don’t care as much about the joke as I do about keeping things positive, so here goes. I will continue to play the heck out of The Sims 4. I haven’t gotten as into it as I was when I was younger, but that’s mostly because I’m older now and free time is much less abundant than it once was. However, I’d like to follow a Sim family through several generations and see where that leads. Coming Soon to Hulu?: Pinky’s Family!
It must be time for another release of Magic’s “Masters” set. Chris and I have started our prerelease ritual of texting one another box prices and our intentions to maybe perhaps think about possibly buying one. I started the conversation yesterday with the news that a local store is taking preorders at a decent price that they will honor until the week before release. I did some research and saw, again, that the box only includes 24 packs. That got me waffling a bit and perhaps thinking that my money was better spent elsewhere. After all, I still have to buy my Rivals of Ixalan sealed product.
We went back and forth, initially agreeing that it was a silly idea for either of us to buy a box. I suggested going in half and splitting one, though honestly neither of us was terribly receptive to that idea. Conversation turned to my van “Check Engine” light, which is a big deal in my life right now. I’m driving around with a rejected inspection sticker and looking over my shoulder like I was driving the getaway car in Baby Driver.
Wait, are we allowed to reference Kevin Spacey projects any more?
Then, as I was in my class, Chris texts me with a link to a place selling them for an even better price, but he was under the impression that it was only in bulk and that you’d have to buy a case of them. While that was true for the price he quoted, there was a slightly higher price for non bulk orders. He and I both agreed that we wouldn’t find a better price than that and stamped “SOLD” across the post in big, red letters. Even so, I’m still having second thoughts. Look, I get that this is one of most first world of all first world problems. But, I imagine that some of you out there might be having the same issue and it always helps to talk things out. Hopefully, by the end, I’ll arrive at some sort of conclusion.
The Good
Guess who’s back? Back again?
Jace, the Mind Sculptor – This is the best argument that can be made for the set, especially now that Wizards has decided to let loose the hounds of hell and give Jace another shot of showing just how repressive he can be in Modern. Similar to Black Lotus, I have been obsessed with this card ever since learning of its existence. I mean, come on. It’s blue and it’s Jace.
Early on in my entry back into the game, its name was only whispered in darkened corners and never openly discussed. As I became more familiar with the game and more people argued for the unbanning, I started to wonder why (more than it’s blue and it’s Jace) the card appealed to me so much. Other than the previously mentioned reasons, it’s also 3 of the best blue cards ever printed on one card for only 4 mana. That’s true, but it doesn’t quite capture the essence of why.
Then, a streamer responded to someone in his chat who mentioned the potential that maybe the card could be unbanned from Modern. I told you the conversation has been gaining momentum. He said that he agreed with the banning, which got people going before he even had a chance to explain. That’s what reminded we that we were in Twitch chat and not Socrates discussion circle. On the internet, nobody can hear you, well anything, because they are too busy shouting over you.
His point was that the card was too good. Of course it is. Otherwise, they wouldn’t ban it. But, it was too good in the way that other cards aren’t. See, people lost to Jace, but they would have no idea that they lost to Jace. They would blame this card or that card, all the while neglecting to realize that Jace set all of that into motion 10 turns ago. A light went on in my head and all was made clear. Jace is the ultimate blue card. They’ve tried before and since to distill the essence of what it means to be blue, but this card nailed it. Sneaky good, beats you before you realize it, and then strings you along for a good while after. Just an amazing card design.
Drafting!
I’ve mostly only experienced drafting the Master sets from the outside. I watched streams of the GPs for the Modern Masters set last year, astounded that people were giving the player crap for taking a foil ‘Goyf with his pick. I have drafted a few of the sets, mostly Modern Masters 2015 in xMage since I didn’t know about the sets and especially not their draftability. Since learning of them, the cost of the packs has kept me away. Who wants to pay 30 dollars for cards and then give half of them away?
During one of our conversations when I realized that both Chris and I might end up buying a box of the set, I said, “Plus I could put 6 packs aside for a future draft.” Having had my interest again kindled by the draft that Chris and I did a couple of weeks ago, I’m more than willing to donate a few packs to get a chance to see what we can do with this set and these cards. Since he is a Modern player and I am obsessed with Vintage and Legacy even though I’ve only ever played the formats on xMage, I wonder how that might affect our draft strategy. Stay tuned
Unboxing Video!
After Chris sent me the link of the better price of the boxes, I texted him back, “Maybe this will finally inspire me to do what I’ve always meant to do and just post an unboxing video.” He replied, “Yep, that would most likely get hits.” I agreed, especially if I can get it done on release weekend. As with many things, there are no promises on this front, but we have been good about updating articles and recording podcasts and uploading videos are part of Phase 2 and 3 of our eventual internet takeover.
The Bad
Not Many Spoilers
We are still relatively early in spoiler season for the set. Other than Jace, we have Azusa, which is a relic of a Modern meta long past and Phyrexian Obliterator, which is fun to draft in cube, but not as much fun as, say, Massacre Wurm or Big Daddy Gris. So, in other words, other than Jace, there is literally nothing else that has me excited about this set yet. Jace is the only thing. It keeps dancing in front of me like some ridiculous dream that will most likely never be realized and yet, I can’t say no.
Sure, there will be other spoilers and some of those cards might actually get me to say, “Wow!” Honestly, though, none of them will be Jace. He’s my man crush Monday. He’s my tweet about this dude I love Tuesday. He’s my Hump Day dream. He’s my…okay, you get the point. Am I just buying this 200 dollar boondoggle simply because of the (I don’t want to do math, so here comes a made up statistic) one out of a thousand chance that I am blessed with one of the boxes that contains Jace? Maybe….
The Ugly
Drafting?
Because these sets are designed to be drafted, Wizards can’t make every card a bomb rare or mythic. For every Jace, there are (another made up stat because it’s Friday) about 3 dozen Waxmane Bakus. While they are cool when you are trying to put together a sweet spirit deck in your draft pool, they are miserable to continue to pull from packs that cost twice as much as any other Magic the Gathering pack.
The Verdict
As I said before, in the pantheon of first world problems, this is one of the first worldest. Nevertheless, it is not one that I’ve gone through before. Since these sets generally come at a time when I’m either on break or having just gotten off break, I’ve never actually had the money before to spend. Now that I have the money to spend, I have to figure out if I’m really going to spend it.
If I was truly thinking with my head and going over the Pros and Cons list that I just made, I think that I’d come to the conclusion that is isn’t worth the extra money. However, when it comes to games and gaming, I rarely think with my head. Most of the time, I go with what my gut or heart tells me and that’s telling me to stop being such a weiner and just preorder the box.
There’s a tiny chance that I can pull a Jace or some other really cool card from the box, which will make for great video. Sure, there’s also the chance that I might end up with a whole bunch of garbage, but that can happen with any box of cards and has never stopped me before, even when I was spending 200 on old boxes of Phyrexia and such. Chris and I have been really into drafting lately and I want to see what this set would look like in one of our two man drafts. So, let’s listen to the old heart and stop being such a weiner.
I spent the better part of two weeks convincing people (and maybe even myself) that I wasn’t going to watch the Super Bowl this year. I haven’t watched an entire Super Bowl (not even when the Steelers were in it) in over a decade, so why start this year. Then, I was actually invited to a Super Bowl party. It wasn’t one of those, “maybe” invites either. It was from the same friend that I’ve made a tradition of watching the CFP Championship with and might even try to make some time this year to watch some of the March Madness tournament.
We said yes. I say “we” because our wives are friends, too, and Aiden expressed interest in watching the game this year. We were going to make a family event of it. Liam was a bit upset that we weren’t going to do our annual movie marathon, but everyone else seemed to be on board. Then, the big day came, and some of our family wasn’t feeling well, so we didn’t want to spread germs. Cue up “Night at the Museum” trilogy!
I did watch the Gamecast at the end of the first half and then the end of the game. Because, let’s be fair. The NFL (and college to some extent) has become a league where you don’t actually have to watch the whole game. If something exciting is going to happen, it’s going to be in the last few minutes of either half. Sure enough, that’s exactly how this game went down. Well, in conversation with Chris, he said it was a good game, but I’m okay being in the dark except for highlights.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. I work nights at a school and it gets spooky as heck in the dark.
What Exactly Are We Watching?
NFL ratings have been down. I’m sure you’ve heard that at least once during the season. Everyone has a theory as to why. People are disrespecting the flag and the anthem! The product is too diluted by being on so many times during the week! Parents are horrified to let their kids watch what ultimately is the slow suicide of 106 large men who crash into each other at full speed!
I think that what many people are not considering is that ratings everywhere are going down. As more and more realize that everything is much better on demand and often sports are much better consumed as highlights, the old model of television is becoming obsolete. Sure cable companies are holding on for dear life, bolstered primarily by ESPN’s Disney money, but the end is extremely effing nigh as 28 Day Later told us.
I would, for a moment, like to return to the concussion issue. The flag and anthem are non starters for me, so don’t even start. If you want to have an intelligent discussion about it, fine. As I said in a previous article, if you want to shout generalities and memes at me, I’m just going to conclude that you don’t have the intellectual capacity to hold a conversation and I’m going to walk away. However, after listening to Hang Up and Listen this week, I do think there might be something to the concussion theory.
Football good. Concussion bad.
They were talking about how Patriots super tight end (yikes, those words in that order sound really weird) Rob Gronkowski, referred semi-affectionately by me as “Gronkenstein”, sounded almost contemplative during his post game interview. I was intrigued by this because (a) I just assumed that Gronk would Gronk as long as his body allowed him to Gronk and (b) he’s not exactly the most contemplative individual. It was a bit of a shock to hear that Gronk maybe didn’t want to Gronk as hard and maybe not at all anymore.
Sure, there have been other players who have decided that the game wasn’t for them and have retired early. Especially as more evidence is coming out that the NFL kept research from the public and, more importantly, the players, some guy are deciding that going on playing a game that might leave them so brain damaged as to eventually hurt somebody else or themselves might not be the best idea. Gronkenstein is the perfect specimen for playing football. It’s like he was selected by a casting director for a football movie. Hearing that even he was considering his own mortality has me a bit shook.
“I’m Rooting for the Meteor”
In spite of my insistence that I wasn’t watching the game (at this point because I was convinced more than ever that it would just be another typical Patriots victory), I kept getting drawn into conversations about the game. I finally just responded to one conversation with Craig (the guy who I was supposed to be ignoring the game at his Super Bowl party), “I’m rooting for the meteor.” I also said to Chris after the game, “Know that this is one of the few ways that the Patriots would lose the Super Bowl and I wouldn’t be dancing on their graves.” For a Steelers fan, this game was a lose-lose proposition.
Did the meteor win?
If I Had Any Money, I’d Probably Develop a Gambling Problem
During one of my conversations with Craig, he mentioned that he bought one of those squares for the game this year. That got me thinking, so I went and I checked out some betting sites to see what odds you could have gotten on various scenarios. The Eagles won, which was unexpected, and Nick Foles won MVP, which was very unlikely. I figured that if you were going to bet one then you’d probably have taken the other, so I figured out parlay odds for those things happening. It was over 10 to 1. I also figured that if you hedged with Tom Brady as MVP, you’d only have lost only 10 dollars on that hedge. I ended several conversations with the conclusion that I’d have to put some money away so that I could throw it at Vegas next year.
Sorry, Kids, you can’t go to college. Daddy really liked Jimmy G-sus and the 49ers to win Super Bowl LIII.
Wither Defense in the NFL?
Chris insists that this was an exciting game. I have heard that assessment from others as well. I was riveted by the last 5 minutes or so as I watched the GameCast on NFL.com. I asked him if the defenses were as bad as they seemed or if it was just an illusion of the high scoring game. He replied, “Oh, no. It wasn’t an illusion. The defenses were that bad.” So, I checked out the highlights and all I can say is, “Wow.” It wasn’t a surprise that the Patriots defense was terrible, they’ve been suspect all year. The Eagles, on the other hand, were supposed to live on defense this year. This is not my father’s NFL.
Some people complain about college football and the fact that many teams don’t bother with defense much other than maybe Alabama. On the other hand, I enjoy the college game and the quick strike offenses that rule the day there. It seems as if some of the more progressive coaches in the NFL (maybe spearheaded by Chip Kelly’s somewhat failed experiment) have noticed that if they want to win, they might have to go the college route. Then again, perhaps this game is an aberration and we’ll be back to ugly 3 and out football next season.
Perhaps it won’t be as bad as this, but NFL coaches too often coach not to lose instead of coaching to win.
“Inch by Inch”
Perhaps influenced by the Madden video game series and their hero worship of players, I didn’t give much thought to coaching in the NFL. Sure, people make the argument that a good coach makes a difference, but really, how much of a difference? These are grown men who have fought tooth and nail all of their lives to rise to the epitome of their profession. And, they need a guy to motivate them to do well at that profession? It’s an absurd proposition.
Well, I’m here to say that I was wrong about all of that. One of the main reasons that Philadelphia made it to the Super Bowl is that they have a good coach who is willing to do what it takes to win the game. Most of the time, when faced with the Patriots “unbeatable aura”, coaches and teams shrink. Not so with the Eagles in this game. They stood toe to toe with the Pats and barely blinked.
There ain’t gonna be no rematch.
I’m Impressed By Philadelphia’s Marbles
Speaking of coaching, not only did Philly not blink, but they took it right to the Patriots. They went for it on fourth down more than once. One time, they went for it on 4th and goal from the Patriots 1 and showed them how a trick play throw to your quarterback is supposed to work. I was impressed and jealous all at once. Both Mike Tomlin and Bill Cowher have withered in the face of the great Belichick and Brady in the playoffs. I want a coach that will throw the hammer down on the accelerator and never let up.
Granted, they played a little too safe at the end of the game and I was convinced that it would come back to bite them eventually. They gave Brady way too many chances. If we’ve learned one thing it is that you do not give Tom Brady any chance at the end of the game. I guess I can understand them becoming a bit more conservative at the end of the game because you don’t want to happen to you what happened to Brady. I didn’t like it, though.
Tanaka approves of those huge marbles, Philadelphia.
That Old Patriots Magic
Right up until the end of the game, I was convinced that the Patriots will win. Heck, even about a week later, I’m convinced that the NFL will somehow review the tape of the failed Hail Mary and determine that the pass was actually complete and then the Patriots used some obscure rule to complete a three point conversion so that they actually won the game. The Patriots winning close Super Bowls, sometimes in unexpected fashion has become a part of the NFL mythos. Years later, we are going to tell our grandkids about 28-3 and the Tuck Rule just the same as our parents and grandparents told us about the Heidi game and the Immaculate Reception.
Nearly everyone I have spoken to agrees with me. They are astounded that the Patriots did not win the game. Not only did they not win the game, but they were scrambling at the end in much the same way that other teams do against them. On the first potential game winning drive, Brady was stripped of the ball while being sacked. Then, when Philly went a bit conservative as I mentioned above, he still had a chance to potentially tie it with the Hail Mary that harmlessly fell to the ground. In any other normal Super Bowl, the first drive would have ended in a touchdown and then the following drive, the Patriots would have stripped Foles of the ball and won the game. That didn’t happen this time. Is that old Patriots magic dead at last? Did it just take an evil of equal magnitude to end their reign? Only time will tell.
Either way, ding dong mofos…
The Last Word
It all hit me yesterday afternoon as I listened to the final Simmons and Sal podcast of the NFL season. It’s all over. I’m not as big a fan of football as I once was, but I’ve grown fond of my little rituals during the season. I paid attention to and cared a little bit about the Super Bowl for the first time in years. I don’t know how long this will last or if it will grow into a new fandom in my later years, but it is possible.
At the very least, writing for the web page will keep me interested. A couple of years ago, I did a preview with plans of doing picks every week and keeping track like the talking heads do. This was a weird season, though, as evidenced by my 5-6 record in the playoffs and the Patriots losing the Super Bowl in a way that they normally win them, so who knows. If it goes back to being the No Fun League again next year, I could quickly lose interest.
Though, evidence is starting to mount that we collided with an alternate timeline like in The Cloverfield Paradox and things will only get weirder.
I mentioned in a previous article that the 2 Guys Gaming got together this past weekend. We played some of the old X-Men arcade title on Chris’s new Christmas present, the Pandora’s Boxx. We played about a dozen matches of Dragonball FighterZ. In fact, that’s what the last article was about. We also talked about playing some Magic the Gathering. Well, neither of us has a deck that has been updated (or even tuned) for a couple of months, so we’d have to figure something else out.
Inspired by this impending get together and with 20 dollars burning a hole in my pocket, I went to Wal*Mart to grab four packs of the latest MTG set. I figured I could combine them with two packs from my Ixalan fat pack (I’ll never get used to calling it a bundle) so that Chris and I could do a 2 player draft draft. What the heck. It had to go better than my disastrous xMage cube draft that I tried.
I also took the opportunity to open the rest of the packs from the fat pack. I have to admit that it was a weird feeling. For no particular reason, I had been hoarding them plus the packs from my booster box since I bought them months ago. I didn’t get anything worth value. Certainly nothing along the lines of the shiny Chandra that I opened from that set and promptly sold on eBay for 75 dollars. I got a new Vraska and a Wakening Suns Avatar in the last pack. So, a couple of fun cards that maybe I’ll do something with eventually.
The Draft
I thought the format we were using was Winchester, but apparently it isn’t. It is a variation of that, too. I can’t remember where I found it, so I will just briefly describe it here. We shuffle all of the packs together, put them in a pile between us, and one person starts by dealing out 3 cards face up and one card face down. The person who didn’t deal picks one card, the person who did deal picks two, and the last goes to the person who didn’t deal. Continue until all cards are drafted. Build a 40 card deck and battle.
The reason that I went with this format was that I couldn’t figure out the math of the Winchester format. It felt like players would end up with different numbers of cards and that didn’t seem to make sense to me. I have not actually tested this theory, so maybe there is balance in the format that I’m not seeing. This format ensures that both players end up with the same size pool from which to build their deck. It does take some of the intrigue away from drafting, but if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t pay all that much attention to what Chris drafts and what his plan is, so it’s all a surprise to me when it comes to playing the games.
I would hate draft that card, but I’m honestly not sure if it’s something you need. But, I’ll draft it anyway because strategery is one of my strengths!
It didn’t feel like there were many bomb rares or mythics in the pool. We did open a Huatli, which is just as bad on paper as I thought it would be when I did my Rivals of Ixalan preview article. While we were drafting, nothing else jumped out at me. I ended up going off board because there were very few blue cards and none of them were really worth drafting and went with Abzan. It was actually more WB with a splash of green for Hunt the Weak and Hardy Veteran. Chris put together a Naya deck with a heavy dinosaur theme. He ended up with Huatli, poor guy.
The Deck
I said earlier that I didn’t see any bomb rares or mythics. As I was typing my deck into Tapped Out for the screenshot, it immediately recognized what I wasn’t able to see until I drew the card during the second game. Bishop of Rebirth is a draft bomb rare and don’t you forget it. Overall, the deck was good. A little creature heavy for my play style, but once it got cranking with that Bishop, there’s no stopping it. Add in removal for days and it should add up to a win.
The Games
So, yeah, about that win. I lost game two to some bad luck. I drew 2 of my three forests before drawing a single plains so that I could play the various white cards that were rotting in my hand. I ran Chris over in game 2 initially with my dorks before he recovered and stabilized. We played at a stale mate for a while until I could get my Bishop of Rebirth on the field and just remove all of his stuff while bringing mine back.
The last game was one of those epic affairs for which we will hopefully eventually become famous. We again went back and forth with me gaining the upper hand and what I thought was a two turn win when I drew my flying creature. He top decked a “pacifism” and I had to play some mind games with him to keep him from killing me for a few turns. I finally got rid of his big ugly and tried to stay alive long enough to get my Bishop out there. After the game, which he eventually won, I saw that the Bishop was two turns away. Oh well, he won this round fair and square.
Until Next Time…
I’m researching some other 2 player draft formats. One thing that we could do is just do a 6 pack sealed match, but I actually prefer the strategy of drafting, even if it doesn’t contain all of the intrigue due to the fact that cards are “known”. There are some other formats that do introduce that the unknown into the draft. Who knows? Maybe we will try one of those formats next time. Then again, we have something that we enjoy, it works for us, and why fix what ain’t broke.
The 2 Guys Gaming got together for the first time in months. With the business of the holidays, the start of the new semester, and just general overall old man Mr. Winter, we just weren’t able to connect and make plans. Whenever we do, we both say that we need to do it more often and then life gets in the way. Well, I’ve made last year and this year about telling life to go to hell when it decides to get in the way of my grand plans. We’ve got games to play and podcasts to record!
During this visit, we tried out his new arcade stick emulator, Padora’s Boxx by beating the old classic puncher X-Men. It seemed much shorter and easier than when I was a teenager. it’s a game where you walk sideways and punch things. It’s not like we were playing 3 dimensional chess back then. Why did the game seem so difficult? Well, Chris and I didn’t have to plug quarters into the machine. When you aren’t paying a quarter every 5 minutes to revive your character, you aren’t as aware of your limitations when playing the game.
The difficulty is ratcheted up, though when you are hitting the enemy with skateboards and vacuum cleaners instead of lasers and Adamantium claws.
We also did a Winchester draft (more on that in a couple of days) and played some of the new fighting game Dragonball Fighterz. Chris has raved about the game to me and he even wrote a review of the game last week. He was so excited about the game that I couldn’t wait to play it. We waited until the end of the night to play. Without giving too much away, it was worth the wait.
The Good
The best part of the game is that they have made it very noob friendly. I had never played the game. I hadn’t even watched any gameplay videos like I told Chris I might after seeing some screenshots and thinking that the game looked absolutely gorgeous. I was going in completely blind, so to speak. That made no difference.
The move scheme is, as Chris explained it, “If you can do a fireball motion, you are all set”. Because of that, I was pulling off crazy combos right out of the gate. Well, based on my previous experience in fighting games, they were crazy combos. I imagine in this day and age, they are just a basic combo that any preschooler could pull off with his eyes closed and both hands ties behind his back. I even beat Chris in the first game. Beginner’s luck?
And you had to walk through the snow, uphill both ways, in order to pull off a combo.
Then I beat him again, and a third time. I can’t remember how many times I actually beat him in a row before he finally got a win, but it was at least three. More on that in a bit. It sounds weird and it might just have been because I was new to the game, but it felt like something different happened every match.
One time, one of the characters flew up into the air, seemed to collect a bunch of energy, and then threw it down onto the other guy. Another time, Chris finished my guy off by throwing him threw 3 mountains, bringing the third one down on top of me. Several times, it looked like an atom bomb went off to end the fight.
One time, I somehow pulled off some sort of “finishing” move. It was called an ultimate devastation or something like that. It wasn’t quite a fatality like from Mortal Kombat. The camera panned back, the animation was a huge explosion, and then the words came across the screen. I can’t remember exactly what the words were and I can’t find any evidence of it online, but both Chris and I sat in stunned silence for a few seconds. He finally said, “I’ve never seen that happen before.” Mind you, he’s been playing the game about 2 hours a day for a week to this point.
Animations like this are commonplace. Needless to say, this isn’t a game for those with epilepsy. Heck, they may find that it’s bad for people who have functioning eyes.
The Bad
Naturally, having grown up during the hey day of Street Fighter 2, I’m a Capcom baby. Since this game utilizes a lot of the same functionality in moves and super combos, it made me think of the Capcom games. In fact, during our games, Chris said something like “Capcom should take notes.” While I agree, that’s not quite my main disagreement. Because I grew up with the Capcom characters, I know which characters I like and which I don’t. Having never watched any DragonballZ, I had no idea about anything about any of the characters. I knew some of the names from various memes and everyone knows the “over 9000!” line. Other than that, though, I knew nothing.
In addition, there aren’t that many characters to begin with. I mean, the character selection screen is full, but many of those characters are just alternate versions of the other characters. I think I counted 3 or 4 different Gokus and that might be low. Again, as a new entry into the Dragonball Z universe, maybe there just aren’t that many characters in the series. However, as someone who likes a variety of characters to choose and try out in a new game, that was a bit disappointing.
Finally, with all of the interaction and animations, they do get stale. Most notably, the entry animation when one of your characters gets knocked out gets old real fast because it never changes. The new character just flies in along with the opposing character and they punch each other’s fists. This is quite disappointing as I was at least expecting each pair of characters to have their own animations similar to the beginning fight sequences.
Yep, that’s it. I kid you not.
The Ugly
I know that I often struggle to find “The Ugly” for many of these articles, but this game is as close to a perfect fighter as I’ve played in a long time. Other than the few minor nit picks I had for “The Bad” section, I have no complaints about this game. Certainly not anything that could possibly be elevated to “Ugly” status.
So, I will just take this space to gloat a little bit more. It took Chris a few matches to finally beat me and I probably won about 70-75% of the matches that we played. I suppose we could just call it all beginners luck, but I’m going to go with L2P Noob. I’m just too good for you.
Shots fired, Bro.
The Verdict
As we were playing, I said to Chris, I definitely have to get an XBox One. I actually said that I wanted to get an XBox One and a PS4 because I didn’t think that Dragonball was a cross platform title. I have no idea why I thought that. I think I’m just looking for a reason to spend money that I don’t have on things I don’t need. I’m a complicated individual.
So, now more than ever, I want to buy an XBox One. We can get Minecraft that allows for cross platform support. We can get Dragonball Fighterz and Chris made the point that the boys would really get a kick out of the game. He’s right. Dragonball Fighterz is selling consoles (at least to me) and I don’t know when the last time a fighting game made me want to own a console.
I’m sure anyone who wants to play the game already has done so. However, if you are like me and have somehow avoided both purchasing either and XBox One or PS4 and the game, then you need to go out and buy it right now. You will not be disappointed. Heck, the game has even made it to EVO already as Chris predicted that it probably would. At least for me, that is must see viewing.
