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NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021 Post Mortem: A Love (?) Story

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Introduction

You may be surprised to see this NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021 Post Mortem article. Where is the DC review from last week? I keep meaning to finish comics week for January 2021 by reviewing the DC books from this month. However, I keep getting distracted and not finishing the books. I hope to have them done by tomorrow and then I can do an post mortem article for the CFP National Championship Game on Thursday. Perhaps, I will do an article and video for Minecraft dungeons to finally get into some gaming content.

It’s been a while since Quinn and I have sat down to play.

I think I will structure this article as a Top 5 list. But, you might say, weren’t there six games this weekend? Yes, and I will give you 3 guesses (but you’ll only need one) as to which game didn’t crack the top 5. Here’s a hint. When Chris texted, “This is getting ugly”, I responded with ” I think I need to just swear off this team until they get good or, at least, fun.”

Call me a front runner all you want. I just can’t with this team anymore. The coach can’t properly motivate them. AB clowned him in the locker room a couple of years ago. Juju listened and stopped dancing. He then promptly gave the Browns bulletin board material. Ben Roethlisberger is a repeatedly alleged rapist. What, then, am I supposed to find appealing here? I suppose those were all much bigger hints than the first. Oh well, let’s dive into some NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021 Post Mortem. Except, of course, for the Steelers/Browns game.

5 – Alas, poor Mitchell, I knew him well

I can be the first to admit that page favorite Mitch Trubisky does himself no favors. I don’t think he’s a bad quarterback. In fact, I often say that Josh Allen is Mitch Trubisky if he gets a good coach. Now, the question becomes, will that ever happen?

We got closer to it possibly happening. I saw a headline on NFL.com that said he might be gone from Chicago without a deep playoff run. Well, the Saints ended any of that talk by decimating the Bears this weekend. The funny thing is that Chris and I both texted during the first half about what a decent game it was.

Then, he texted, “They just came out after halftime and laid an egg.” I don’t remember his exact words, but they had that sentiment. I just wish for the best for our dear friend Mitch. I also hope that Tompa ends the Saints in the most heart breaking fashion next week. Cheering for Tom Brady two weeks in a row. What hath this year wrought?

4 – “Seattle is the most complete team in the league”

I texted these words to Chris earlier in the season. I tried to give it more merit by giving the actual week when it happened, but I honestly don’t remember. And, I’m not going to comb through our archives to find out. So, you will just have to take my word for it. After all, why would I lie about something so stupid?

Well, you also need to take my word that ever since I texted those words, Seattle fell back to earth. They barely resembled an NFL team some weeks, let alone the most complete team in the league. The Seahawks again went out of their way to prove me wrong this weekend. They lost to a Rams team with a former AAF (is that even what it was called?) guy and Jared Goff with a broken thumb as their quarterbacks.

I think, of all the games this weekend, this one both shocked and made me the most angry. Sure, I have more invested in the Steelers as a former life long fan. However, I fully expected them to blow that game. Other than their inconsistency this year, Seattle showed no indication of a potential let down.

3 – I think TB12’s got his steroids, er protein shakes

The Golden Boy didn’t light Football Team up for 5 TDs like I hoped. He threw for two in the first half. Washington came back in the second half to make it close. In general, that’s one thing you can count on in today’s National Football League. One team will almost certainly come back in the second half to make the game close.

I must admit. Looking at the box score, I have no idea how Washington even competed with Tampa in this game. I thought that the Seattle game was more shocking. Now that I see some of the names on the Washington roster, I reverse that decision. I lieu of further explanation, I present the following screen shot.

Seriously, has there ever been a roster that looked more like a “Football Team” from some generic 1980s or 1990s football video game?

2 – LJ defeats yet another of those dumb narratives

Nothing irritates me more about sports talk than the narrative, “(some guy) can’t win the big game. We are told over and over how sports are team dependent. Then, someone like Lebron James, Clayton Kershaw, and in the NFL more recently, LJ get the label of not being able to “win the big game”.

Granted, there are a lot of lazy narratives in sports journalism and “journalism”. We live in an era where talking heads scream at each other from across the table. Well, technically, since COVID, they scream at each other from across the room.

Any stupid opinion can be picked up by a bot on Twitter and turned into the latest “hot take”. Nevertheless, I contend that nothing needs to die more than this stupid idea of “(some guy) can’t win the big one.” Well, at least I don’t have to listen to it said about LJ anymore.

1 – Both the Bills and the Browns won this weekend

Earlier, I said I refused to talk about the Browns/Steelers game. I stand by that. I only mention them in the header so that I can make my stupid joke. Okay, now that I’ve properly telegraphed that, on with the show.

What is this, the 90s? Am I right, folks? Am I right? The 1990s? The time of aborted Woodstock festivals and the last time either of these two teams was relevant in any fashion. Okay, perhaps that joke wasn’t worth the set up. Or, maybe the set up was the joke the whole time.

I know. What can I say? I’m a master of alternative comedy.

All I’m saying is I like the Bills. I wish them only success against the Ravens next game. Then, if the Browns can somehow pull off the upset vs. the Chiefs, we can have a real old fashioned 1990s Super Bowl where they lose by 35 points. Too bad none of their old foes are still alive in the NFC to really drive the point home.

The Verdict

My verdict of the NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021 post mortem is that it wasn’t nearly as entertaining as I hoped. Chris and I texted several times during this year about how glad we were that football was happening in spite of COVID. My interest started to wane about midseason and completely fell off when the Steelers lost their first game. I only wanted them to go 16-0 and lose in their first playoff game. That would have been much more satisfying for my schadenfreude than what actually happened. Oh well, the games for the next round look fun on paper, at least. Besides, what else am I going to do with my weekend?

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: A Love? Story

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Introduction

Welcome to NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021. I can’t remember if we did any previews last year for the NFL playoffs other than the Super Bowl. I suppose there is at least one way to figure that out. Okay, okay, if you’re going to pressure me into it. I will search the archives.

BRB…

Okay, in actuality, we were right on top of the entire playoffs last year. So, yay for us! Now, for the new readers, allow me to explain the title. If you’re old hat around here, skip the next couple of paragraphs and get to the good stuff.

A few years ago, I got the idea to rename Wild Card Weekend to Coin Flip Weekend. It has, by far, the most variance of any of the postseason games other than maybe the Super Bowl in the last 20 years or so. I found a quarter, named him George, and used him to predict the games. George actually did pretty well. If I bet on George’s pick, I’d have made money.

George led to another cockamamie idea of becoming the “Completely Ignorant” prognosticator to show how silly it was that there are so many talking heads shows. Clearly, that failed, as the number of those shows has increased exponentially. Oh well, I am tired of calling myself completely ignorant in a society that actually finds that to be a virtue. Let’s talk some NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021.

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: AFC

Colts/Bills (Saturday, 1:05 EST): Earlier in the year, I called Josh Allen, “Mitch Trubisky with a good coach”. I stand by that analysis. Allen improved every year, this year by leaps and bounds to lead the Bills to their first division title since the 1990s. I’m all in on the Bills. Hopefully they don’t eff it up against the Colts. Then again, Chris and I were texting and I said I’d have gladly traded either the Rats or Browns for the Colts. Ended up trading the dysfunctional Fins for them. While Phillip Rivers can use the extra money for his 17 kids, I hope the Bills roll.

Rats/Tuxedos (Sunday, 1:05 EST): As a supposed Steelers fan, I should hate the Ravens. I don’t. I love Lamar Jackson in spite of his fall back to earth this year. On the other hand, I hate the Titans and I don’t even have a valid reason why. If love is to prevail, I guess it needs to be LJ and the Ravens.

Browns/Steelers (Sunday, 8:15 EST): Again, as a supposed Steelers fan, I should hate the Browns. For most of my life, I have. Then, Baker came along and I kind of enjoyed their brand of inconsistency. This year, I think I’m just tired of incompetence. Speaking of incompetence, I asked earlier if 10-6 team ever fired their coach. Sure, the Steelers ended up 12-4, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Time to flip that coin. Eff both these teams.

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: NFC

Rams/Seahawks (Saturday, 4:45 EST): Once upon a time, I declared the Seahawks the most complete team in the league. The whammy (I swear that’s not what I intended) worked and they immediately began sucking out loud. The Rams can go to hell. Along with the Patriots, they delivered the most boring Super Bowl in my lifetime. Go Hawks.

Tompa/Football Team (Saturday, 8:15 EST): Dan Snyder is a dick. Screw his stupid football team and the stupid football team name. I should hate Tampa because The Golden Boy is down there. I don’t. As I’ve said before, it must have just been the unholy union of the Patriots and Brady that made me hate both entities. Also, Chase Young is a moron. I hope TB calls up his old steroids guy, er finds the fountain of youth down there in Florida, and drops an old fashioned 5 TDs on the barely concealed racist nickname.

Bears/Saints (Sunday, 4:45 EST): How the hell are the Bears in the playoffs? Who let them in? Jesus, this league is a joke. A 7-9 team is again hosting a playoff game and the Bears made it, too. Look, I’m sick as sick of Drew Brees as the next guy, but give them one more game and hope the Seahawks blow them out next week to keep that old voodoo curse alive.

The Verdict

The NFL is selling this as the Super Duper Mega Wild Card Weekend. They added one team, which admittedly gave us an extra game in each conference. That’ s a 50% increase. Is a 50% increase really all that super? I guess it depends on what you’re increasing. Am I right, Cialis? Ahem, back to football.

During one of our conversations, Chris and I both said that this year’s playoffs could have been interesting. While that’s true, they’re not as interesting as I’d like them to be. Especially this week with no Mahomes. Also, no real team to root strongly for other than the Bills, who I’m all in on this year. Even so, I’m sure I will tune in for at least half of the games and I’ll check the Steelers score for my yearly dose of schadenfreude. See you guys next week for the Divisional Round.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant NFL Wild Card Weekend Preview

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Introduction

As part of my annual awakening and post to the web page, I have picked the NFL Wild Card games each year. One of my shticks is that I go into the games as ignorant as possible. Since I stopped watching the NFL weekly about 10 years ago, that isn’t much of a problem. My research only consists of listening to the Bill Simmons Podcast with Cousin Sal weekly and watching the games on Thanksgiving. This year is no different.

Another idea that I got last year or the year before was to have a coin (actually a coin flipping simulator run 100 times) named George (because he’s a quarter, see) choose the games. I hate that we’ve made sports into such a big deal in this country that people can make money talking about them as if they have more or better insight than the people at home. If I can show that a flipped coin can have just as much, if not more success, than those on television, maybe it will invalidate them. Rage against the machine!

The Picks

Bills at Jaguars (Sunday at 1:05 pm): The Bills made the playoffs on the last day, sparing us the idiot talking heads discussing the Peterman/Taylor decision. Until Christmas, all I knew about the Jags is that Blake Bortles is the quarterback. I will forever love and be indebted to him for winning a fantasy league and then never being invited back. I think it’s a better story if Buffalo wins, at least for a weekend because they’ll be destroyed by the Pats. Instead, I think they’ll save us the false hope and get destroyed by the Jaguars this weekend. George’s Pick: He’s fairly confident that the Jags will win, too. Bills 46, Jaguars 54.

Falcons at Rams (Saturday at 8:15pm): With a rookie head coach and essentially a rookie quarterback, nobody saw the Rams coming this year. The Falcons ping ponged up and down all season, finally sneaking into the playoffs with an impressive 10-6 record. The Falcons would like revenge for their collapse in the Super Bowl last year. The Rams are playing a home game with house money. I think I like the Rams story better than the Falcons. Besides, with UGA in the championship, I don’t think I could stand Georgia being the center of the football universe for a month. Whatever happens, this will be a high scoring game. George’s Pick: He disagrees, firmly, with me and wants to see the Falcons get revenge. Falcons 56, Rams 44.

Titans at Chiefs (Saturday at 4:35 pm): This is the “who cares” bowl for me. If the Jags win, like I think they will, then the winner of this game plays the Patriots for the right to go to the AFC Championship. I guess the Chiefs are better in that scenario because they beat the Pats earlier in the season. However, the Titans winning this game and the next, plus the Jags beating the Steelers appeals to the chaos lover in me. I will go with the Chiefs on the slim chance that they catch the Pats on a bad day next week. George’s Pick: Apparently George is an anarchist and wants to see the whole NFL break down. Titans 51, Chiefs 49.

Panthers at Saints (Sunday at 4:40 pm): Too bad this one is happening this weekend. This would have been a great NFC Championship. Sure, it stinks to have only one division represented in the championship round, but they are always the most fun games. Like the Rams, the Saints are a bit of a surprise, while the Panthers succeeded in spite of their owner resigning (somehow rather quietly) amid, for lack of a better word, weird allegations. I think I like the Saints in this one. George’s Pick: George is picking another road team. Panthers 56, Saints 44.

Wrap Up

Join us next Friday as we post mortem these games and prepare for the Steelers and Patriots to win, set up a rematch, and watch the Pats walk into the Super Bowl again. God, the NFL is so boring.

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My Completely Ignorant NFL Preview (Coin Flip Weekend Edition)

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(Note: I swore off the NFL, and especially the Super Bowl, about 6 or 7 years ago. I cheated a couple of times by watching the second half of Steelers/Cardinals and the last couple of drives of Pats/Giants II for the schadenfreude.)

[spoiler title = “TLDR:”] Pats/Cards in the Super Bowl. Steelers/Packers in the Crazy Bowl. Chiefs, Steelers, Seahawks, Redskins for this weekend. Hopefully I win 50,000 dollars in stupid fantasy football.[/spoiler]

Last year, I started what I hoped would be an annual tradition. As with most of my plans, this one got lost somewhere between planning and implementation. I wrote an article called “My Completely Ignorant NFL Preview” to basically show that the blowhards on TV and the internet every week have no better idea than anyone else as to how the NFL is going to unfold in any particular season. I picked how each team would finish in their division and then made a Super Bowl prediction. The division picks were a mixed bag. Then again, I never thought to check how I did compared to the “expert” (Dr Z? Is he still a thing?) I fashioned my article after, which would have been a good follow up. Oh well, good intentions and all that. However, I came within 5 seconds and a crazy sequence of events from winning my Seahawks over Patriots pick.

If I was a gambling man, this would have been me. I would have specifically asked my bookie to deliver the money in this fashion. He would have most likely responded to this request with a pair of cement shoes.

If I was a gambling man, this would have been me. I would have specifically asked my bookie to deliver the money in this fashion. He would have most likely responded to this request with a pair of cement shoes.

I also only lost two picks in the entire playoffs, including that stupid Super Bowl. Eff the Patriots. Nevertheless, emboldened by that success and my fantasy football championship, I present to you the second annual “Completely Ignorant NFL Playoff Picks”. Before I pick the Coin Flip, er Wild Card, games, I’m going to talk a little about the Super Bowl. Obviously, I didn’t get to make preseason picks and I can’t go back in time–not even virtually–to make them, so I’m limited to doing it now. In keeping with tradition, the only research that I’ve done is listening to Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal discuss the NFL from a degenerate gambling point of view, so I will follow their lead in this article. In that spirit, here are the Super Bowl odds for all of the playoff teams as of 1/8/2016.

Super Bowl Odds
Panthers, Patriots, Cardinals (9/2)
Seahawks, Broncos (5/1)
Steelers (8/1)
Bengals (20/1)
Chiefs (25/1)
Packers (30/1)
Redskins (40/1)
Texans (60/1)

As you can see, there is no clear favorite this year. Usually, by this time of the year, everyone has jumped on the Patriots bandwagon. They’ve looked so bad over the last month or so that people (well, not technically people, gamblers) are spooked. The biggest surprise to me is that the Steelers are so heavily favored, but that might be because I’m a Steelers fan and they are a terrible team that passes for decent in today’s watered down National Football League.

If you want to sound like a professional commentator, you have to say things like "National Football League". Also, by including this picture, I may now be sued by the National Football League. Whatever. Maybe my bad boy image and devil may care attitude will finally lead to my big break as a writer. Hey, it worked for others in "The Biz".
If you want to sound like a professional commentator, you have to say things like “National Football League”. Also, by including this picture, I may now be sued by the National Football League. Whatever. Maybe my bad boy image and devil may care attitude will finally lead to my big break as a writer. Hey, it worked for others in “The Biz”.

With all of that being said, they are my outside pick for the AFC team in the Super Bowl. More on that in a moment. i’m calling this the Coin Flip round. That’s only partially a joke. Like almost everyone else (or maybe more so given my absolute ignorance on the subject), I am clueless as to how this playoff season will unfold. I honestly have no good feeling, even, about any of these games ore team. How, then, am I supposed to pick two teams from this hodge podge of 12 as a proper Super Bowl match up?

Well, then, to be safe and increase my odds, I’m going to pick four. I will pick an obvious match up and I will also make an “off the rails” pick that could conceivably happen if things go just right for the teams involved. Let’s start with the obvious picks and build suspense on the NFC “outsider” pick. To be fair, I’m also putting that one off because I don’t have a good one yet.

I really need to stop getting my crystal balls at Wal*Mart.
I really need to stop getting my crystal balls at Wal*Mart.

Sure, they’ve looked terrible lately, especially over the last two games, but they might have just been playing possum. Plus, I always lead with eff them, but until someone proves that they can eff them, I have to pick the Patriots. Many think that Carolina is Cinderella and they’re all waiting for the coach to turn back into a pumpkin. (Oh, come on, that was a good pun and I didn’t even mean to do it.) I am among them. I have no faith in the Panthers, so I’m going with the Cardinals in the NFC.

If I understand how odds work (and there’s no guarantee of that) and my math is right (there’s a much better chance that is true), then that gives 29.25 to 1 odds of this happening according to what Vegas says. And, that’s the sure thing this year. There’s just no rhyme or reason in today’s National Football League. If I had more of a production budget, I could have made a cool graphic like the robots fighting or helmets crashing into each other, but all we have is the image below. Enjoy.

There's your Super Bowl 50 (because the National Football League presumably didn't want Super Bowl Large to come 10 years after Super Bowl Extra Large) match up. Place your bets now. Or, probably don't, because, honestly, who the hell knows?
There’s your Super Bowl 50 (because the National Football League presumably didn’t want Super Bowl Large to come 10 years after Super Bowl Extra Large) match up. Place your bets now. Or, probably don’t, because, honestly, who the hell knows?

I’ve already told you that I think the Steelers have an (extremely) outside shot of going to the Super Bowl this year, but that requires beating the Patriots and that’s something that they’ve never been able to do reliably. Especially this year, of all years, they have a crap defense and the Patriots are susceptible to the rush due to a patchwork offensive line. Oh well, here’s how I see it happening. Steelers beat the Bungles, which is possible because the Steelers hurt another Cincinnati quarterback earlier in the year. First Carson Palmer and now Andy Dalton. It is slightly less likely now because D’Angelo Williams is hurt. Look at how smart I look at missing my own deadline. Anyhow, if that happens, they’d play the Broncos. Peyton Manning usually folds against both the Steelers and Patriots, but again, this isn’t my father’s Pittsburgh Steelers. Finally, the Steelers would have to beat Patriots, who would easily dispatch of the Chiefs or Texans. Highly improbable, and that is why I don’t understand how they are only 8 to 1.

In the NFC, the Packers could beat the Redskins. That would put them against the fraudulent Panthers in the second round and then they’d have to defeat the Cardinals in the Championship to get to the Super Bowl. Both of my outsider teams would have to beat my sure thing teams and that’s insanity. It shows in the numbers. The sure thing was about 30 to 1. This one is nearly 10 times that at 278 to 1. Both of these logos have letters in them, so they look weird when flipped. My Steelers bias would rather have the Packers look weird.

Your Super Bowl 50 match up in an alternate universe where I am a gambling savant and a gajillionaire.
Your Super Bowl 50 match up in an alternate universe where I am a gambling savant and a gajillionaire.

Okay, now finally on to the picks for those of you who didn’t take advantage of the TLDR. Since this is coin flip weekend, I will give you the coin’s take on it first and then my own.

Chiefs (-3) at Texans: The coin picks the Chiefs by a score of 59-41 in 100 coin flips. I have to agree with the coin on this one. The Texans have limped through the season as the best team in the worst division in football. The Chiefs aren’t a sexy team, but they are a great team to be fodder for the rejuvenated Patriots in the next round.

Steelers (-3) at Bengals: The coin is fairly certain of this one, too. Steelers win 58-42. I’m less certain. As I said, so many people love the Steelers, but I think that is fantasy football bias. The Steelers have sexy fantasy guys and that doesn’t always translate. Even with Williams out, I think the Steelers have enough to beat AJ McCarron and the Bengals again.

Seahawks (-5) at Vikings: The coin thinks this one will be closer, but it picks the Seahawks 51-49. I’m more confident in this pick. The Seahawks tend to turn it on in the playoffs. Like the Steelers, their defense has taken a step back and their running back is injured, but it’s the Seahawks. Like the Patriots, you can’t count them out until they’re out.

Packers (-1) at Washington: Well, the coin thinks it is going to be a road sweep this weekend. Packers win this one 52-48. I didn’t want to pick all road teams and I think this game is the one that will be most wide open. The Packers are Aaron Rodgers and a bunch of other guys right now and Washington might have finally found a quarterback in Cousins.

I don’t think that I will come close to my record from last year and this weekend could be a disaster picks wise. Oh well, thankfully I’m not a gambling man, but I did take a free entry into Yahoo Sports daily fantasy playoffs contest, so maybe I’ll somehow luck out and win $50,000 dollars to help heal the pain of looking completely foolish. I’m pretty sure that’s how the pros deal with that aspect of the job.