Completely Ignorant 2018 NFL Week 6 Picks

Introduction

Last week represented either a course correction or a rare good week just to keep me gambling. Oh, you didn’t know that? Yes, gambling is a living entity that thrives on the stupidity of humans to continue to spend their money even after it has become abundantly clear that the odds are stacked against them. When you start to feel like things are turning against you, gambling convinces you that a “hot streak” is coming only to slap you in the face with huge losses.

What that all means is that I was 10 and 5 straight up last week. Moreover, after a week in which I was considering not picking against the spread and surely not gambling on them, I went a somewhat respectable 8 and 7. So, maybe the first four weeks of the season are just an aberration with the shortened practice and preseason schedule. Wait, no! Gambling, you won’t get me that easily.

A Note on Thursday/Laziness

So, just last week I made the declaration that I would just pick the home team in every Thursday night game to prevent having to meet a Wednesday deadline. I suppose I could just pick the Thursday night game at the end of this article every week. Wait, no! This isn’t about me taking responsibility for my actions.

Well, the universe played quite the joke on me by making the Giants the home team this past week against the Iggles. Sure the Iggs have been having a rough time of it this year, but they can beat Eli and the Giants without breaking a sweat. So, I guess there are a few lessons to be learned. Good for me, I haven’t been in school for over 20 years.

Week 6 Picks

Tampa Bay at Atlanta: Like the Iggls, the Falcons have had a rough year. They just got destroyed by the Steelers and are 1-4 on the season. I guess Kyle Shanahan was the offense. Tampa Bay started as everyone’s darlings and then Ryan Fitzpatrick’s deal with the devil ran out. He should talk to Tom Brady’s guy. Either way, I think the Falcs can beat the Bucs.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh: Those who have been reading for a while know that I was born in Pittsburgh in the 1970s. I had no choice. I was a Steelers fan. Earlier in the year, I heard that Big Ben was accused of getting feely with Stormy Daniels and it broke me. I am no longer a Steelers fan. It’s only a coincidence that they stink this year. They might beat the Bengals, but that doesn’t make them good. You just never know with divisional games. I pick the Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at Cleveland: I was watching football at the in laws house last week. The Browns/Ravens game was on. By the end of the game, I was openly rooting for the team that in my childhood I hated with a passion of a thousand suns. I was also texting Chris and during the game I said, “God Bless the Browns.” Unfortunately, I think the Chargers win this one.

Chicago at Miami: Miami has fallen back to earth after being beaten by the Pats a couple of weeks ago. Chicago pulled off the trade of the season by landing Mack. So far, I’ve pulled off one of the waiver steals of the season by grabbing Chitown’s defense in fantasy after Week 1. Trubisky won’t ever have a game like he did last week again, but this defense can win games as long as he doesn’t lose it.

Seattle at Oakland: It has been fun to root against Jon Gruden this season. He was insufferable years ago and became even more so as an announcer in the interim. Everyone was predicting good things for him and the Raiders this year. Then, he got quite a start by trading away their best defensive player and things got even better when he complained about not having a pass rush. Go Seahawks.

Arizona at Minnesota: Minnesota is favored big in this game, but I don’t see it. They already laid an egg earlier against the other D3 team, Buffalo, but their defense hasn’t been as intimidating this year as it was last year. They’ll beat the Cardinals, but Arizona might make it a game.

Indianapolis at New York Jets: A few years ago, a friend said something about Seattle when we were talking about football. I replied, in earnest, “Seattle has a football team?” I’m starting to feel that way about Indianapolis. Plus, the Jets have a good young QB. I think the Jets can hang and possibly win.

Carolina at Washington: We live in a country where the nation’s capital football team has a racial slur as a nickname. Further, the owner is a rich white guy who stubbornly refuses to change the name. Screw DC and screw their racist nickname. Go Panthers.

Buffalo at Houston: Houston is inexplicably favored by 8.5 points. I know that I (half) jokingly refer to Buffalo as one of the NFL D3 teams, but that’s just insane. I guess they think that DeShaun is going to eventually break out and find his rhythm and this is as good a game as any. I just don’t see it, even if I think they’ll win.

Los Angeles Rams at Denver: I’m all in on the Rams and Chiefs this year. They had a hiccup against Seattle last week, but again, divisional games are weird. You just never know. I thought they’d destroy the Broncos and they still might. It’s running game strength against weakness. My friend just texted me a picture of snow in Denver. Winter is coming indeed.

Jacksonville at Dallas: Dallas stinks on ice this year. I’m not sure if it’s the coach or what, but it does feel like they should be much better than they are, so I guess so. Jacksonville is up and down from week to week. This is a tough game to pick and I’d never bet it, but I’ll go with the Jags being back up this week.

Baltimore at Tennessee: Well, if Indianapolis is fading from my memory, then Tennessee isn’t far behind them. I guess we could just take the whole AFC South and throw them out and I’d not miss a single wink of sleep. Baltimore, even with their loss against the Browns last week, are a decent team. I’ll take them.

Kansas City at New England: Chris and I have been texting about this game for a couple of weeks. Before last game, where he finally looked human, I kept saying that Mahomes was going to rip the Pats pass defense several new ones. I just can’t pick against the Pats at home until it starts to happen. Rooting for KC, but picking NE.

San Francisco at Green Bay: San Fran is another one of those teams that had high hopes at the beginning of the season. Those went a bit up in smoke when Jimmy G-sus got hurt. Rodgers has been hurt, too, but the Packers are still a fun team. I think they can win, but I don’t see them covering.

The Verdict

Week 6 is slightly more interesting than the last two weeks. Can Mahomes and the Chefs really take that next step and beat the Pats? Or, will Andy Reid take form and doom them to a 4 or 5 game losing stream like last year? How will the Rams do in weather? How many players will die in the Steelers/Bungles game? So, a few games worth watching. I, on the other hand, will be avoiding all football because I think this is the week that my fantasy team lays an egg. For those watching, enjoy!

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