All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.
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MOBILE LOOK BACK: A Year of Gaming

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Introduction

I’ve been wanting to do an article like this mobile look back since the page started. I think this is the first year that I’ve written at least one article every month. Granted, that was assisted by Covid and the necessity of our school to go remote. However it happened, I’m happy for the opportunity to be able to write about what I enjoy. Mind you, I’m not downplaying a global pandemic. I’m simply expressing gratitude in my socially awkward, but hopefully endearing, way.

At what age do you stop being a scamp and start just being an a-hole? I’m pretty sure I’m already there, but maybe I can scam another year or two out of it.

Having never actually done an article of this nature, I’m not entirely sure how to format it. I came up with the idea to split it into sections similar to the “Great, Good, and Decent” that I use for reviews. However, those won’t work for an article like this. Therefore, I split them into “Barely Played, Lightly Played, Moderately Played, and Heavily Played”.

That kills two birds with one stone. Not only does it give me a direction for the article. It also mimics the categories for used trading cards. Huh? Huh? Pretty clever if I say so myself. Okay, let’s take a mobile look back with 2 Guys Gaming.

Mobile Look Back at Games I Barely Played

Clash of Clans – Two of these games on this list will have a similar story. They were reintroduced to me by other people. In this case, I learned that Aiden played this game with a couple of his friends and put together a clan that he invited me to. We played for a couple of weeks before he got bored with it and moved on. I like the game, but it is boring if you don’t have a group of regulars to play with you.

Empires and Puzzles – Chris introduced me to this one. He got into it via his former neighbor or coworker or something. It’s a decent match 3 game with a vibrant community and a variety of ways to advance. However, when Chris stopped playing because his guildmates were too “hardcore” for him, I fell off the bandwagon, too. I wouldn’t mind putting together a friends and family guild like I did for Marvel Puzzle Quest when the same thing happened to me in that game.

Fallout Shelter – In any other year, this game would have been heavily played. I liked the familiarity of the Fallout universe setting, unique characters and items, and specialty quests. When they stopped supporting the quest system, it just became another grind fest with a familiar IP. That’s when it hit the recycle bin and I never looked back.

Where’s My Perry/Where’s My Water: Similar to Fallout Shelter, I played “Where’s My Perry” heavily for a couple of years. I looked for Perry on my phone. Disney removed it from the store. I attempted questionably legal channels and met a roadblock. So, I downloaded the seed game and played that a bit. I might have played it more if not for my phone finally folding under my abuse.

Mobile Look Back at Games I Lightly Played

Angry Birds – Another game that fell off my radar over time. Honestly, most of these games fell out of favor because I simply had no time to play them. Working 16-20 hours a day will do that. When asked about Angry Birds by a friend, I probably sounded like an elitist prick. I do like the game play. But, my favorite part is how faithful the physics engine is for such a simple game.

Dr. Mario World – I played the heck out of the original Doctor Mario. A high school friend and I used to hang out in counseling during lunch and play that and Tetris using a link cable between our Gameboys. Yeah, I really am that old. When I saw there was a mobile version, I checked it out. It can be a fun diversion, but not as much fun playing against nobody.

Dota Underlords – After I discovered Auto Chess last year, I got big into auto battler games for a couple of months. Of the two “PC clients”, I played Team Fight Tactics much more than Underlords. Summer boredom led me to out Underlords on my phone. They updated the game significantly. When my new laptop comes in, I think I’m going to be playing this quite a bit.

Mario Run – This is one of the first mobile games I played. Well, that’s not entirely true. But, it is one of the first mobile games that I actually put money into. I’ve beaten all of the levels on the pink coin level and a couple of them on the next coin level. Mostly I just play the game when I’m waiting for cool downs in other games. I do the “Quick Run” mode or whatever it’s called for random prizes.

Plants v. Zombies – This game lost much of it’s luster when I played the mini quest version in World of Warcraft. I realized that you beat most levels with the same strategy. Build up your sunflowers, drop pea plants wherever zombies show up and just rinse and repeat. There are newer versions of the game that I haven’t tried. Maybe they’re more engaging.

Mobile Look Back at Games I Moderately Played

Auto Chess – I don’t remember how I discovered Auto Chess. I do remember that I was playing it exclusively for a couple of months. I even had a spreadsheet (in my head) about how much I would have to level to get to the appropriate level and obtain the season skin. Then Blizzard does what they do and released Battlegrounds. Since I already play Hearthstone daily, that became my auto battler of choice. Plus, some changes to Auto Chess made it a similar grind fest to Fallout.

Eternal Card Game – Eternal was the closest I could get to MTG on an electronic platform. I didn’t play MTGO much because I already put so much money into the physical card game and didn’t want to spend twice that just to reproduce my collection online. Then, MTGA came out and I could play MTG more or less free to play. I like Eternal, but MTG is still the king.

Magic the Gathering: ManaStrike – When they first announced this game, I made a snarky comment on Facebook. “How about fixing your other electronic properties before releasing another bug filled game?” At the time, both Arena and MTGPQ felt criminally under supported. Since then, both games have flourished and I got a chance to play this one. It is nothing like MTG other than familiar names. Still, matches last less than five minutes making it a fun and quick diversion.

Mobile Look Back at Games I Heavily Played

Candy Crush – A student received a smart phone just this year and discovered Candy Crush. This wasn’t the driver of my interest in the game unlike Empires or Clash. I’ve put more time and much more money than I care to admit into Candy Crush. It’s just dumb fun.

Magic the Gathering Puzzle Quest – This is 100% one of the first mobile games I ever played. I played Marvel Puzzle Quest on Steam and then tried to move my progress to mobile. When that failed, I then learned about MTGPQ and got hooked. While the events are sometimes repetitious, they’ve been good about keeping the game fresh with the new card sets and mechanics.

Minion Rush – For the longest time, this game fell into the grind fest trap and I stopped playing. This year, they brought back some of the fun by running more regular events. That, along with Quinn discovering the game, got me playing it on a regular basis. Then my phone decided that it no longer wanted to be tossed across the living room in frustration.

Sim City Build It – Like many others, even though I’m trash at it, I love Sim City. I am good in the early game and then lose it once my population starts to get around 2-5,000. I just can’t generate enough revenue through taxes without ticking off my Sims. This game simplifies the Sim City formula while keeping the basics. All in all, what a good mobile game should be.

The Verdict

I mentioned more than once that my phone is nonoperational. It does still work, but the screen crack that started after a Hearthstone tantrum spread through the whole screen. Now a horizontal line crosses the screen and the bottom third is nothing but a bright white light. When I turn it on, it’s like being summoned into the afterlife.

Therefore, if I’m to play any of these games again, I will need a new phone. I just ordered myself a new laptop. I doubt that I will be able to convince Christine that I should buy a new phone right now, too. It might be a few months until I get back into the mobile scene. I suppose I could always download Bluestacks on my laptop in the meantime.

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DC Comics December 2020: Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Unfortunately, DC Comics December 2020 is not as good as Marvel Comics this month. I put 4 Marvel books in the great column and I think for the first time ever, not a single book in the decent column. Sure, there are 3 titles in the great column for DC this month. However, there are just as many in the decent and I might have been being generous with a couple of the good books this month.

It’s just that Christmas spirit I kept talking about in the previous article.

Granted, I’ve always been more of a Marvel fan than a DC fan. Chris got me into DC when he kept telling me how great Batman was with Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo. Then, I started collecting Aquaman and Wonder Woman because they starred in the first DC movies that weren’t absolute train wrecks. I mean, you have to collect Superman, right? Right?! Please tell me no. That way I can stop the charade that I believe the Bendis experiment will finally pay dividends.

I feel bad. There are things that I genuinely like about DC Comics. But, I tired quickly of the source wall nonsense. I started reading Metal and then stopped. I haven’t collected any of the Death Metal series. I saw an advertisement in several books for “Endless Winter”. There’s another limited series coming in January and February. I just feel like their core books have been ignored in favor of big, splashy events that never pan out. But, it is almost Christmas, so let’s focus on the positive. What’s “Great, Good, and Decent” about DC Comics December 2020?

The Great

Justice League 56 and 57 (Josh Williamson, Robson Rocha, and Xermanico): I’ve already established that I don’t care all that much about Death Metal. It might be (and possibly is) a fine event. So, this isn’t like Detective during Joker War. They just got Josh Williamson writing this book and that’s all I need.

Justice League Dark 28 (Ram V and Amancy Nahuelpan): I will spare you my man crush on Ram V. Actually, no I won’t. He is a superb craftsman at the height of his game with this book. Zatanna is probably my favorite character in the book, so it doesn’t hurt that she’s been featured in many of the stories.

Wonder Woman 766 and 767 (Mariko Tamaki, Steve Pugh, and Rafa Sandoval): I fawned all over Mariko last month, so I will spare you my girl crush on her. Nope, I won’t do that, either. I’m a bit slow on the uptake, so I didn’t discover Ms. Tamaki until her run on X-23, which was funny and heartwarming. She brings those same qualities to everyone’s favorite Amazon. This is the most the book has felt like the movie probably since Greg Rucka wrote at the beginning of Rebirth.

The Good

Action Comics 1027 (BMB and JRJR): You’d think that comic written and drawn by men known only by their initials would be better than this. House of Kent had such promise at the beginning. I wonder if Future State has messed with the mojo some. Now that I see it written, it’s as likely as anything. I really hope it’s worth it.

Aquaman 65 (Kelly Sue Deconnick and Miguel Mendonca): I think I might have mentioned in my article last month that no book had suffered from the Covid hiatus than Aquaman. Kelly Sue Deconnick was building up quite a bit of momentum with the War of Atlantis story and then they had some stop gaps fill in that killed the momentum. Well, she’s back to finish the story with a bang.

Batman 102 and 103 (James Tynion IV, Carlo Pagulayan, Danny Miki, and Guillem March): 103 was better than 102. With that being said, neither of these issues blew me away. I feel like Tynion is falling into the Bendis trap of trying to introduce too many new or different characters instead of sticking with the old faithfuls. Especially after the masterpiece that was Joker War, I’m disappointed with the direction of Bats.

The Decent

Catwoman 27 (Ram V and Fernando Blanco): Looking at it again, I might have been a bit harsh on this book. It very well could be in the good category. It’s just that I have such high hopes for a Ram V book at this point and this one doesn’t live up. I get that Catwoman is a thief, but it feels like they’re going to this heist storyline a bit too much in this title. Mix it up a bit!

Detective Comics 1030 and 1031 (Peter J. Tomasi and Bilquis Evely): Broken record time again. I just don’t like Tomasi’s take on this book. I will say that I liked these books more than before Joker War. Isn’t it weird how expectations are a large percentage of the outcome of these reviews? Oops, maybe I just gave away a trade secret.

Superman 27 (BMB and Ivan Reis): I will admit that I didn’t even read this book. I just can’t do it anymore. As I’ve said more than once, I’m not a fan of Superman to begin with. I’ve given the Brian Michael Bendis experiment a year and a half. I’ve threatened it before, but I think this book goes after Future State.

The Verdict

Marvel Comics delivered this month. DC Comics December 2020 provided just more of the same. Under normal circumstances, that would be fine. However, with it being Christmas, DC pausing everything for Future State, and the awesome month that Marvel gave us, I’m disappointed. I mentioned above that Future State might be the reason for the lackluster effort this month. I’ll never know, but like I say, it’s as likely as anything. I just hope it’s worth it at this point. I also hope it’s worth my investment in every title. Guess we will see soon enough.

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Marvel Comics December 2020: Great, Good Decent

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Introduction

I’ve given December the theme of a “Year of Gaming”. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to recap the last year in mobile, PC, and console. It’s actually the first year that I’ve been able to dabble in gaming in all three. But, first, it’s comics weeks. I already did Spawn. Now, it’s time for Marvel Comics December 2020.

I could kill two birds with one stone if I had been able to snag a PS5 before the arbitrageurs got them.

Marvel seems to have avoided the revolving door of creative teams that has plagued DC and, to an extent, Spawn. Granted, they haven’t gone unscathed. However, the only major disruption that I’ve noticed is that Black Panther has gone on hiatus. I think that many of you might disagree that is a major disruption, but I enjoyed the book. Coates has done a good job with Panther and Cap.

Even with T’Challa momentarily on the sidelines, there are plenty of good books coming from Marvel Comics December 2020. I’m still finalizing my rankings, but so far, I’m tempted to put more books in the great category than I think I ever have, especially for Marvel. Sure, there was the post Covid euphoria that lasted a couple of months. Perhaps this is just me being filled with the Christmas spirit. Whatever the reason, join me as I try to justify my glee.

The Great

Amazing Spider-Man 52 and 53 (Nick Spencer, Matthew Rosenberg, Patrick Gleason, Frederico Vicentini): First of all, forget what I said about the rotation of creative teams at Marvel. Apparently, it is just not as noticeable for some reason. Secondly, I’m missing parts of this story because they’ve done the “dot” issues (.LR for this) on Spider-Man again. I need to visit my LCS to pick up the missing issues. And, I will. Because this story has been awesome. I’m not usually one for “dark” Spider-Man stories, but Nick Spencer seems to have returned to the dark after a hiatus due to the abuse he suffered for Secret Empire. Completely unwarranted in my opinion. That’s neither here nor there. The bottom line is that Spider-Man is awesome right now.

Avengers 38 (Jason Aaron and Ed McGuinness): “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” have quite possibly been Marvel’s most inconsistent team title this year. I can’t remember if I’ve pushed them into the great section before this month, but they have been trending that way for some time now. I loved the Moon Knight story and they payoff in this issue is worth it. Keep it going.

Immortal Hulk 40 (Al Ewing and Joe Bennett): I’ve sandbagged my review on this title for far too long. You could rightfully say, “Okay, it’s great. But, why?” Since it’s close to Christmas, I’ll oblige. Though the horror aspect of the comic has been toned down, the story has still been strong. Familiar faces from the past are popping up all over the place. They are affecting the story big time. The Immortal Hulk is both comfortable and surprising in a way that few stories do.

X-Men 14 and 15 (Jonathon Hickman, Leniel Francis Yu, Mahmud Asrar): Chris hyped this title for so long and then I got to sit down and finally read it and was a bit disappointed in the Empyre tie in. I know that I am missing big chunks of the story here because it is a true crossover. However, what I’ve seen of X of Swords has been fantastic. I might need to either pick up the trades (or to make Chris happy, fill in the missing issues). I’m one to roll my eyes at all of the events, but recently they’ve been exactly what books need to focus them and keep them on track.

The Good

Captain America 25 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Leonard Kirk): It’s a mini anniversary issue! I suppose there are benefits to the every 5 year (or so) reboot. Like Hulk, Coates has old favorites returning to affect the story in quite positive ways. This book has been trending up with the most recent Daughters of Liberty/Red Skull story and I have given it the “pushing great” note.

Fantastic Four 26 (Dan Slott and RB Silva): This story was a bit of a mess at the beginning. Slott pulled it together after about the 5th or 6th page and it all went smoothly from there. Unlike X-Men, Empyre fit perfectly with this book and things got a bit sideways after that. Looks like from the teaser on the last page that big things are coming, so I have high hopes going forward.

Thor 9 (Donny Cates and Nic Klein): I’ve been down on Thor and Venom the last few months. Chris and I were texting and it just feels like Cates may have been taking on too much similar to Tynion with Batman and Justice League Dark. Well, if this issue is any indication, that fear was unfounded. All I have to say about this issue is “Wow.” Thor wakes up as Donald Blake to Hell on Earth. This one got the “pushing great” label, too.

Venom 30 (Donny Cates and Luke Ross): Venom Beyond did not live up to my expectations at all. It just felt like a mess and that they were filling space until the next event. This issue confirms that. This issue was good. I’m not sure about King in Black. However, as with other books, it looks like the event is focusing the book and driving it to be better. I will end up picking up the books at my LCS when I go to get the .LR issues of Spidey.

The Decent

There are no Marvel Comics December 2020 that are neither great nor good. Merry Christmas, Marvel!

The Verdict

I enjoyed Marvel Comics December 2020 very much. It might just be the Christmas spirit as I mentioned. However, I stand by my assessment that the books are good this month. For what it’s worth, I will say that I hope this continues into the new year. Please, please, don’t tell me that it is just the Christmas spirit from everyone at Marvel that made these books good this month. Marvel, make mine quality.

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Love Letter to Spawn 312

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Introduction

I mentioned in my previous Spawn review that I hoped there might be a payoff to the long setup. I can’t promise that it is here in Spawn 312. However, it does feel much closer after this issue. I mean, things actually happened. Silly that’s the barometer but that’s where we are right now.

The eternal question of this year. Did Covid make things crappy. Or, have things always been crappy and Covid just made us realize it?

I hate to mention Covid again. But, it definitely had an impact on things in one way or another. As I covered in a couple of my comics articles last month, it seems like Covid threw the comics world into more chaos than anticipated.

Books are being delayed and cancelled at an alarming rate. Creative teams looked haphazard for the better part of the last six months. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that we’ve had somewhat consistent comics releases in that time. Things could be worse. After all, Hallmark’s 25 Days of Christmas started three months early this year. So, let’s focus on the positive as we often try to do.

The Great

Supporting Cast: Part of my problem with the last issue is that he overpromised and underdelivered. The book promised a huge supporting cast only to have them show up in the last page of the issue and contribute almost nothing to the plot. Well, the main plot revolved around Gunslinger Spawn. She-Spawn had a small, but integral part.

Heck, even Cy-Gor (forgot the robot gorilla’s name in the last review) and Overtkill saw their parts in the story increase in both time and significance. See, I wasn’t being completely cheeky when I said that things happened in this issue. Things actually happened.

The Good

Gunslinger Spawn: I already mentioned him in the previous section. However, he deserves a section unto himself after this issue. I never was a fan of many of the “specialty” spawn. Heck, I was even lukewarm to the change from Al to Jim Downing. This is just one of those books where I want my hero to be solitary.

Okay, that sounds weird after I just said that the supporting cast was great. Allow me to explain. I can handle the occasional team up, like Spider-Man. Most of the time, though, I just want Simmons and his story. I won’t say I like Gunslinger Spawn now, but Spawn 312 went a long way to endearing me more to his character. Uncle Todd kept the momentum moving forward as I hoped.

The Decent

The Story: With all of that being said, it’s not all ectoplasm and symbiotes. Okay, I apologize for that one. I literally spent the last 15 minutes trying to come up with that and that’s the best take. I know. Just bloody awful. Hey, I apologized.

The point of that all is that the story is getting better. However, it still feels like it it moving at a snail’s pace. I get that Uncle Todd has become more deliberate in his old age, but does he really have to emulate Bendis so much? I suppose I should just consider myself lucky that, unlike the current Bendis Superman stories, this one is actually decent.

The Verdict

Spawn 312 represents a continued step in the right direction. After the greatness of the Dark Horror story and then the soft reboot that seemed to be moving things forward, Spawn got a bit stagnant for a few issues there. It might have partially been that the momentum was slowed by the Covid hiatus. Maybe it is just that the book naturally ends up having ups and downs. I mean, most stories are like that, especially one that has been run by the same guy for the last 25 years or so. Whatever the reason, I’m enjoying the book again and I can’t wait for the next issue.

Digital Playground

Mortal Kombat 11 Kombat Pack 2 – Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Wait, I have to buy Mortal Kombat 11 Kombat Pack 2? I’m pretty sure the game was a gift a couple of years ago. The friend was kind enough to purchase a version that included some skin packs and the first Kombat Pack. Therefore, this is the first time I’ve had to put money into the game. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did happily pay for the expansion that included Robocop, Fujin, and Sheeva. But it’s the first time I’ve paid for cosmetics. No, wait, that isn’t true either.

Why am I lying about this? I guess I am just as susceptible to the Reddit mob as the next guy.

I purchased both skin packs and at least one announcer voice. It’s weird that both felt the need to lie and then felt the need to explain myself. Sorry that I’m treating this article like online therapy. I will get back to the subject at hand. Is Mortal Kombat 11 Kombat Pack 2 worth the money?

I mean, ultimately, that’s for you to determine. However, maybe you’re like me. A father of 3 boys who recently took a job that pays more money and it doesn’t matter to you that this game ultimately cost you over 100 dollars. Maybe I’ll have some insight for you. Wait, what? Oy vey. There’s that brutal honesty once again. Well, if you’re still reading, let’s get on with the review.

Decent – Rambo

Move Set – In keeping with the theme of the 80s action movie icons, Rambo’s move set is a bit clunky. He doesn’t combo easily, at least not for a slow old guy like me. With that being said, he is more fluid than Robocop or Terminator and more fun to play. If you’ve ever seen a First Blood movie, you will recognize his bowie knife and bow and arrow. Of the three, he was always my least favorite character. Ironic now that I will probably end up playing him more than the others in this game.

Finishers – Both of his fatalities are consistent with the character. The first one has the iconic wire trap and bamboo and the second involves a string of bullets (Is that what it’s called? I’m a libtard hippie who doesn’t use guns often). I prefer the first. His friendship is fun because of the nostalgia of playing laser tag with the boys. I did get a chuckle when he did the crawl from one behind one inflatable to the other.

Ending – John Rambo has no use for being a god. He wants what he always wants. To simply retire to a cabin in the woods in peace. It would seem as if he finally gets that wish from Kronika’s hourglass.

Good – Rain

Move Set – As I was working through the tutorial, I was sure that Rain would be my favorite character from this pack. Part of his style combines Noob Saibot and Fujin, two of my favorite characters. He is a fun character to play, but you can deduce from process of elimination who my actual favorite from this set is. Damn you angry, internet mob. You win this one.

Finishers – Both of his fatalities are fun. One has an homage to the classic Queen album, II, before eviscerating his opponent. The other has similarities to one of Kung Lao’s in the game with a twist at the end that had me chuckling. His friendship is not one of the more inspired ones. Hey, they can’t all be winners.

Ending – Rain goes a bit Kill Bill on the revenge trip against his father and his other sons. These types of endings always crack me up. They’re given ultimate power over time and they use it to exact personal revenge? I get that motivations are different, but come on now.

Great – Mileena

Move Set – Before this Kombat Pack, Ed Boon’s Twitter feed was a non stop barrage of requests for adding Mileena into the game. I get that Twitter isn’t real life and most of it was for the meme, but it had to have been tiring for him to deal with on a daily basis. Well, she’s here, nerds. You win. I didn’t want to like her character simply for this fact, but I can’t deny. She is the most fun to play beyond a shadow of a doubt. Sure, part of that is nostalgia. But, she is just a well rounded character and worth the wait.

Finishers – That’s not to say that it is all roses and unicorn farts. Neither of her fatalities are particularly interesting. I will say one thing about her second. Instead of exploding her opponent’s head, she implodes it. That was a nice touch. After trolling Mileena fans with Kitana’s friendship, the Edenian princess shows up in teddy bear form for dear sister’s.

Ending – Another revenge story? It would seem that the writers are gonna beat this horse until it’s dead. I mean, this one is consistent with the character’s singular obsession with her sister and parents, so there’s that.

The Verdict

Is Mortal Kombat 11 Kombat Pack 2 worth the money? Of course I’m going to say yes to justify the fact that I spent the money on it. In all honesty, though, 15 bucks isn’t too much to spend for 3 characters that are absolutely fun to play. In order to write this article, I sped through the tutorial and 5 opponent tower in order to get the endings. It only took about an hour at most. So, it is worth about what minimum wage should be. If you were smart and waited, definitely pick up the Ultimate edition as there is so much more in the game like the Krypt, which could have been a game unto itself.

Digital Playground

Hearthstone Duels Beta: Great, Good, Decent?

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Introduction

What the heck is Hearthstone Duels Beta? Well, we are faced with yet another task as (unpaid) Blizzard beta testers. About a year go, Blizzard released Battlegrounds in response to the rise in popularity of auto battlers like Auto Chess, Dota Underlords, and Teamfight Tactics. As soon as I saw the gameplay for Battlegrounds at the event they put together to showcase it, I knew that I made the comment that I would play that mode almost exclusively.

I mean, who doesn’t want to watch cards smash into each other?

The same can’t be said for Hearthstone Duels Beta. The concept intrigued me. Blizzard took the Dungeon Run concept and made it PvP. That sounds interesting. However, instead of enhancing my interest in the game mode, watching the game play actually decreased my interest. Then, I received a drop from Twitch to early access to the game mode.

The mode is now in full beta, so I’m no longer special. However, I write this web page, so I am special here. You obviously read the page, so I think you’re pretty special. Let’s discuss among our special selves if this game mode is any good or not.

The Great

Do you love Dungeon Run? I do. Do you not know what Dungeon Run is? I forgive you if you don’t. Let me give a brief explanation. And, yes, I realize that almost nothing I ever write is brief. How about I promise to keep this one under 100 words? Deal? Deal.

Dungeon Run is a mode Blizzard introduced as an adventure in one of the expansions. You start with a deck. Then, as you proceed through the “dungeon” and defeat bosses, you get to choose random “treasures” and cards to add to your deck. Honestly, it’s a fun mode and I used to think that I wanted more of it. 59 words.

He’s on fire!

After playing Duels a few times, it turns out that I just wanted more Dungeon Run. Duels lets you build your starting deck. I don’t care. It lets you play against other people. Without some sort of chat feature, I don’t care whether it’s a bot or a person. Duels does retain the treasures (though most of them are garbage) and card selection, which is great.

The Good

Remember when I said that I don’t care about building your own deck. That was mostly for show. Even though most of the time, because it’s a competitive mode, you will build the same deck, that’s starting to change some. Blizzard has already released new class treasures and hero powers that promote some variety in deck building.

Because I don’t have the whole collection on many of my accounts (yes, I have multiple accounts and play all 3 regions on all of them), I have to be creative with my deck choices. Yes, creative there is a euphemism for bad decks. But, sometimes those bad decks will catch an opponent off guard because they’re not looking for the “creative” card choice. And, since it is ultimately “no risk, no reward”, that’s good.

The Decent

This game mode is ridiculously imbalanced. Granted, it is a beta. Also, it is Blizzard and their idea of game balance has infiltrated MTG. make extremely imbalanced cards, make your money from selling them, and then nerf them (ban them in the case of MTG). Sometimes, this strategy is employed multiple times. Since it’s introduction earlier in the year, Demon Hunter has been nerfed 4 times.

They have proved time and again that they are not prepared for proper card design. Eh, eh, Illidan? Not prepared? Achievement Unlocked: Lame Dad WoW joke.

So, expecting Duels to be completely balanced right out of the gate is a tall order. I wasn’t joking in the beginning when I said that Blizzard expects us to be their unpaid beta testers. In the case of the new heroic mode, you are paying them to be beta testers. God bless this brave new world of gaming.

However, Hearthstone Duels Beta is way out of balance. If you can high roll a certain treasure or card selection, you are guaranteed to breeze through to a high win total. I was watching a streamer last night who had two runs where he was dealing 20+ damage per turn starting on turn 4 or 5. In a mode where your starting life is a maximum of 40, that’s ridiculous.

The Verdict

Hearthstone Duels Beta has some fun aspects. I do like that I can build my starting deck. Dumbing into one of the ridiculously overpowered runs is fun as hell. The rest of the time, it is just as frustrating as regular Hearthstone with the addition of even more randomness and frustration of potentially low rolling your way into oblivion. I play standard for the rewards (though they stealth nerfed them) and Battlegrounds because it can be legitimately fun. I don’t see myself playing Duels unless they include it in a quest.

On the Tabletop

Commander Legends: Cards I Love

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Introduction

Commander Legends? Aren’t all commanders legendary? I am the first to admit that I have not played Commander at all. But, even I know that much. Okay, requisite dorky dad joke out of the way, let’s get to the actual introduction.

After all, I am a dorky dad and I have the photos to prove it.

As we often do, Chris and I texted about each new card that we found interesting or fun. I’m not sure who started the text chain this time, but I’ll be honest, I never expected it to persist for as long as it did. Mainly, we haven’t gotten together to play in almost a year (maybe even over a year) due to Covid.

As a result, I’ve seen Chris’s passion for the game die. I’ve been able to keep mine mostly alive by playing a game against the boys. Also, xMage and Arena have kept me going. So, I was more than a little surprise that Chris said that he ordered a box of cards. I followed suit by buying a Commander gift box from Channel Fireball that included two Commander decks. So, after years of saying that I’m a Commander player who never played Commander, we are both suddenly Commander Legends.

White

Commanders I’d Play

Both of these have similar effects. Akroma is just straight stupid with a card like Zetalpa, Primal Dawn that is keyword soup. Prava has the added bonus of being a tiny leader in addition to a possible commander. You could build one heck of a nasty token deck around that card. If Chris gets a copy, I might just buy or trade for it.

Other Cards of Note

Austere Command is just a ridiculously versatile control card that I would run 2 of in pretty much any deck that had white. Sure, it is expensive. But, all of the effects are devastating. In addition to just learning Commander, I have also learned about the Monarch, which was introduced in the Conspiracy set a few years ago. It’s a cool mechanic that introduces new strategies to the game. Akroma’s will works well with Akroma. Not surprising, but my eyes bugged when I saw the card.

Blue

Commanders I’d Play

Turning scry into draw is a seemingly powerful effect. Heck, I just got tricked into picking this card because of that effect. Now that I think about it, though, I wish that the effect was “may” or “scry and then draw”. The second effect might be too powerful. I picked the second because of the partner effect. Unfortunately, I can’t partner the card with my Kira because the CMC has to be below 4 cumulatively. Nevertheless, if both are in play at the same time, good luck casting any removal.

Other Cards of Note

WotC is just trolling us at this point with blue cards that are 5 CMC and have “Force” in the title. Sakashima’s Will is just a cool card. I noticed a card with a similar “choose” effect when I was looking through white, but I wasn’t impressed with the card. This one is a lot of fun. I texted Chris about Body of Knowledge as soon as I saw it. Look at this dumb card, I said. Not sure it is good, but it certainly is dumb. Just my kind of card.

Black

Commanders I’d Play

I have an “Empires” deck that I put together that was the throne, crown, and scepter of empires. Of course, I built a blue deck around them. I was thinking that I could adjust the deck to build around Armix. The only problem is that if I make it Tiny Leaders, I can’t run the crown because it is 4 CMC. Tevesh Szat is just a Commander that you run if you don’t ever want to play a game of Commander. He puts a huge target on you.

Other Cards of Note

Profane Transfusion reminds me of the card from one of the Phyrexia sets. Phyrexian Rebirth. Once upon a time I had the ridiculous idea to build a token deck around that card. Maybe with the Cat Leader from above, I finally can. As I was looking through the black cards, I noticed an elf theme. As elves are usually green, I found that interesting. Rakshasa Debaser is just one of those ridiculous cards that I get in my head will somehow work exactly the way I hope. Yet, it never does.

Red

Commanders I’d Play

I texted Chris about Rograkh, too. I think my exact question was, “exactly how broken is this stupid card?” Actually, that wasn’t my exact question. I think I said something about “speaking of stupid” and he replied with something along the lines of “Dear God”. Looks like we can Alena, then the next turn cast Rograkh and a ton of cheap enhance spells, get a bunch of mana and then cast fireball. GG no re.

Other Cards of Note

Wheel of Misfortune and Explosion of Riches just seems like dumb Hearthstone cards. I simultaneously hate the RNG nature of that game and love the RNG nature of that game. These two cards just feel like they’d end up with half of the table laughing and the other half crying. I texted Chris about Blasphemous Act, “When you absolutely, positively don’t want any friends.”

Green

Commanders I’d Play

(a) Did somebody say elves? I noticed an elf theme in black earlier. I surely would have been disappointed if green did not have a similar theme. Time to brew a GB elf deck of doom. (b) Cascade from hand?! That seems like crazy combo possibility with some of the green cards out there. I’m sure Chris has some ideas.

Other Cards of Note

We heard you like ramp, so we put some ramp in your ramp in Reshape the Earth. That’s crazy expensive and if you have 9 lands on the battlefield, I’m not sure what you’d do with twice that. Then again, I’m not a green mage. Court of Bounty is another interesting monarch card that gives some versatility. And not only does Apex Devastator cascade four times, but if combined with Kodama, you get a creature from hand.

Multicolor

There are only Legendary creatures in the multicolor pool for this set. Therefore, I’ll pick more than the two I had been picking for each color.

Commanders I’d Play

In my research about Commander, I learned about group hug strategy. I don’t entirely understand it. But, from what I gather, that bunny looks like a group hug type of guy. I picked the Boros guy simply for all you players out there who like to take notes. He tells you to do so in the text box. I texted Chris about Yurlok because he brings back mana burn. We joked about him scaring off the noobs with old school rules.

Averna let’s you ramp when you cascade. That’s a neat addition. That abomination is going in my mythical GB elves deck. And, that brings us to Nevinyrral. I texted Chris about this one because I recognized the name from the old disk card. This guy has the same effect with a sizeable body.

Colorless

I joked earlier that WotC likes trolling us with almost Force of Will cards. They have done the same with Lotus cards throughout the years. This one is the closest almost Lotus that we’ve ever had. It very well could see a banning in Commander and especially Tiny Leaders. I could put the Staff of Domination in my terrible Armix deck. And, there is a cycle of diamonds in this set. I just picked this one because it’s not Mox Diamond, it’s Moss Diamond. LOL. *ahem* Colorless sucks in this set. What do you want from me?

The Verdict (Commander Legends cards are fun)

Commander Legends offers some fun stuff for players of the format. Even someone like me who has only fancied himself a Commander player who doesn’t have a playgroup can find something in this set. I have to say that there might even be better cards in here than some of the other more recent standard sets. I mean, I have been having fun with MTGA, but the Zendikar Rising cards are mostly just annoying to play against. So, I commend Chris on his decision to grab a box of Commander Legends. He won’t be let down.

Digital Playground

Cards I Love: Hearthstone darkmoon Faire

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Introduction

Come one, come all to the Hearthstone Darkmoon Faire! If you’re thinking what I’m thinking then you’re thinking, “Didn’t we just have a Hearthstone expansion? ” Yes, it appears as if the Hearthstone developers have taken a page from the WotC handbook. They are releasing expansions once every 3 or 4 months now. That’s good to keep things fresh.

It is not goo, however, for my bank account.

Yes, in spite of my machinations to the contrary, I am still playing Hearthstone. Hell, Reno even screwed me in a game a couple of days ago. Those of you who are regulars remember that’s why I swore at the game and swore off the game. It’s another card game to keep me somewhat sane through this pandemic.

The Hearthsone Darkmoon Faire, as much of the Hearthstone card base does, takes inspiration from an even of the same name in World of Warcraft. Towards the end of my WoW career, I became an achievement hunter. The Darkmoon Faire filled far too much of my time as a result. But, the Hearthstone equivalent has a twist. Similar to MtG bringing the Eldrazi to Innistrad, the old gods spread their own twisted corruption into the Faire.

Demon Hunter

Felsteel Executioner: Speaking of corruption, our first card has one of the new keywords for this set. The corrupt triggers when you play a higher cost card while the card with corrupt is in your hand. It offers versatility. Honestly, though, it’s one of the weaker keywords.

Throw Glaive: Speaking of keywords, this is just “Echo” with more words. I’ve heard from several programmers who would know that Blizzard is infamous for their “spaghetti code”. Hell, even as an extreme novice to programming, I can see that their stuff is not optimized very well. Regarding this card, it’s gonna be situationally awesome.

Druid

Guess the Weight: In keeping with the faire theme, the name of this card is hilarious. The effect is pretty great, too. I like that Blizzard is willing to take the chance that they make an absolute trash card in order to give us something that we’ve never seen before.

Kiri, Chosen of Elune: At first glance, this card looks like garbage. After all, it does to lightning bolt. Mind you, that’s never stopped me from picking a card to be featured. However, I don’t think this card is garbage. Those two cards have synergy with druid and could lead to some fun combos.

Hunter

Mystery Winner: There was some talk about Hearthstone getting rid of the discover mechanic. I think that would be a very bad idea. Discover is probably the best mechanic to come out of this game. I think they wanted to (and eventually have) do away with the cards that have the ability to iterate the discover process infinitely.

Trampling Rhino: So, they use the keyword in the card name, but then write an entire phrase to explain what that keyword mean in the card description. Perhaps this is the only card that they have planned with this ability and they don’t want to waste the resources. Who knows?

Mage

Grand Finale: I love the elemental mage archetype. I’m not sure there are enough cards to support it in standard. But, I enjoy playing Wild better anyway. Give me all of the broken cards.

Deck of Lunacy: Can you play this card and all expensive spells to get a deck full of Pyroblast? Is that how this works? Well, I guess there’s also Puzzle Box of Yogg Saron. Either way, it’s dumb fun.

Paladin

Redscale Dragontamer: I picked this card because art is hilarious. Yes, Paladin cards this expansion are an absolute joke.

Snack Run: Hey, it’s got discover. That must mean you love it. Well, yes, discover is fun. However, it feels like any time I play the other card that has a similar effect, I get nothing but 1 and 0 cost spells to choose.

Priest

Insight: I think this is the type of card that they were envisioning when they developed the corrupt keyword. It is a decent card by itself with crazy upside if you decide to corrupt it. Compared to this, most of the other corrupt cards feel like an afterthought.

Palm Reading: In addition, this is the kind of discover card that I love. You discover something, plus you get a guaranteed good outcome. This is just a solid and fun card. Priest continues to get strong support cards.

Rogue

Swindle: 2 mana, essentially draw 2? Plus, it is targeted draw in both cases. Looking at the card now and thinking about it, I’m surprised they made it combo and not corrupt.

Tenwu of the Red Smoke: I’m about to go Johnny Combo on you here, but there’s gotta be a way to play this with either the new or old C’Thun to be able to cast the old God multiple times per turn. In fact, I think I’m going to workshop that deck once I get finished writing this article.

Shaman

Magicfin: This guy will fit quite nicely into my wild murloc shaman deck. What do you want from me? Like Paladin, the Shaman cards in this expansion are garbage.

Revolve: First we had evolve. Then we had devolve. Then we had turn everything into murlocs. Now, we have this trash heap of a card.

Warlock

Wicked Whispers: The old gods are back. Their whispers have returned as well. If you’ve ever been involved in a random whisper encounter in World of Warcraft, you realize just how creepy that is. Regarding the card, zoo was already strong. This is just going to make it more so.

Cascading Disaster: Another card with a reference to an MtG keyword in the title. It also almost has that ability. This is the only card I’ve seen that has the repeating corrupt. Once again, I think they missed an opportunity to have more multiple corrupt cards.

Warrior

Sword Eater: What power creep? Years ago, they nerfed Fiery War Axe to 3 and now for one mana more, you get a 2/5 body with taunt. Sure, it’s a turn late and you may lose tempo. However, warrior has so much targeted removal that you might not.

Tent Trasher: I’m not sure how often you’ll get the mana reduction on a regular basis more than one or two, but I like this sort of effect. I wonder if they tested as each minion type played and found it to be too powerful that way.

Neutral

Old Gods and a Bunny: I remember there being something in World of Warcraft with the Rabbit. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I think it was made into a battle pet after that update. Whatever the reason, this stuff is making me want to play WoW again. Must resist the temptation. Other than that and the old gods, none of the neutral cards are very interesting.

The Verdict (Hearthstone Darkmoon Faire looks fun)

I liked that Ashes of Outland introduced dual class cards. Even if most of the cards were garbage, it is a fun addition to the game that I hope they expand upon with future sets. The cards in Hearthstone Darkmoon Faire aren’t nearly as groundbreaking. What they are, though, is fun. That’s all I ask when playing these games.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Best of the NFC 2020 Midseason

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Introduction

Only because we have to, here is our best of the NFC 2020 Midseason. As mentioned in the previous article, we aren’t exactly at the halfway point. Some teams have played nine games. There’s no undefeated team in the NFC to defer to like the Steelers. Plus, I don’t have any NFC team this year that has me psyched. Therefore, we do this out of obligation.

Love, too, of course. Always love.

I don’t mean to say that there aren’t good things in the NFC. It’s just that the bad is so bad (and consequently in the east, so where I start this article) that I don’t even want to face it. I joked earlier in the year that the NFL should move the AFC South to Europe when they expand. With the way the NFC East is playing this year, maybe we should move them into the Atlantic Ocean. With that, how about that Best of the NFC 2020 midseason!

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (3-4-1): That is not a typo. The Eagles are in first place with a sub 500 record. If I had done this a few weeks ago, the leader of the division only had 2 wins. I told you. Putrid. The best for the Eagles this year is it’s only been 2 years since they won the Super Bowl, so maybe that glow is still a bit shiny.

Washington Football Team (2-6): Yes, I will bang this drum until it snaps. The best thing about the Washington Football Team is that they are no longer nicknamed an offensive term. In true Dan Snyder douche fashion, though, they haven’t picked a new nickname and are only known as the football team. What a dumb ass.

Dallas Cowboys (2-7): I’m struggling here. The Pokes had deulsions of grandeur before the season. Those shattered spectacularly in the first game and then again when Dak went down. I guess the best thing is that their 4th string QB held his own against the Steelers. *shrug*

New York Giants (2-7): The best thing about this is that I’m done with this terrible division. On to better things.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks (6-2): I considered calling the Seahawks my NFC team because they’ve been probably the most consistent team in the first half of the season. Sure, they’ve had some bumps in the road, but that’s to be expected. I really want a Seattle/KC Super Bowl. Also, DK Metcalf is a stone cold stud.

Arizona Cardinals (5-3): The best thing about the Cardinals is that they’ve avoided the Covid surge in their state. Seriously, though, how can you say anything other than Kyler Effing Murray. I thought he might be too short to succeed in the NFL. Shows how much I know.

Los Angeles Rams (5-3): I mean, the best thing is that if they can figure out a way to beat the Seahawks, they’ll technically be in first place. The Rams are just another of those faceless teams that could disappear tomorrow and nobody would mourn them.

San Francisco 49ers (4-5): Having suffered a bit of a curse because of their treatment of Colin Kaepernick, the good news is that it seems as if Kaep doesn’t want to play. So, the best thing is that the effects of the curse are minor and localized to selling yourself into salcap hell for a Super bowl loss last year.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (6-2): I almost coronated the Packers as my NFC team, too. I’ve always liked Rodgers. He’s a more palatable anti-Brady than the Manning Brothers ever were. If Seattle doesn’t play in the Super Bowl, I want it to be these guys.

Chicago Bears (5-3): The best for these guys is that the pact they made with the devil or whatever voodoo magic they weaved at the beginning of the season only demanded the benching of Trubisky. This team stinks and yet, they’re in the hunt for the playoffs. I just hope Mitch gets another shot with a real coach.

Minnesota Vikings (3-5): I hate going to a well too often, but the only thing I got for the Vikings is at least they’re not the Lions. Remember when I said that the Rams were faceless? At least I can name their QB and coach off the top of my head. Not so for the Vikings.

Detroit Lions (3-5): After several years of doing this, I finally remembered that Matthew Stafford is their quarterback. That’s gotta be worth something. No? Well, then, I got nothing.

NFC South

New Orleans Saints (6-2): Speaking of voodoo magic, how the hell are the Aints in first place with noodle arm Drew Brees under center? Plus, there’s that whole controversy about him speaking out about gay rights or something? I could Google it, but I’m feeling lazy right now. Just know that I’m firmly on the Taysom Hill bandwagon.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3): You expect me to say Tom Brady. I expect me to say Tom Brady. After week 1, it didn’t look like I would say Tom Brady. After this most recent game, it might seem silly if I said Tom Brady. Seriously, though, how can I say anything but Tom Brady?

Atlanta Falcons (3-6): How do you come up with a best for Atlanta ever since their Super Bowl loss to the Patriots a couple of years ago? It has just been one nightmare after another for this team. Whatever voodoo magic they used has not ultimately paid off.

Carolina Panthers (3-6): I mean, Cam Newton is in New England stinking up the joint. That gave Teddy Bridgewater a chance to start. I wouldn’t say that’s be great, but it is probably the best thing to happen to the team. At least the future looks bright.

The Verdict

NFC 2020 midseason isn’t as much fun as the AFC was in my opinion. First off, you have the worst division in football in the NFC East. Secondly, I can’t distinguish between about a half a dozen of these teams. Third, there’s only about 2 or 3 teams that I’d actively root for as a non fan. There’s just not enough here to say that the NFC 2020 midseason report is the best of the two.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Snap *censored* Pop Culture, Uncategorized

Best of the AFC 2020 Midseason

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Introduction

I realize it isn’t exactly the AFC 2020 midseason. Some teams, including the Colts and Titans after last night, have played 9 games. However, the team of my childhood (and the surprising favorite team of a colleague I recently learned) the Steelers, have only played 8. While I take no joy necessarily in the fact that they’re undefeated, they are. We should show deference to that perfection.

Tried to find a humorous image using the search term “imperfectly perfect” and it was just a bunch of motivational crap. Nobody has time for that.

And, so that is how we have arrived at the “midseason” report for the AFC this year. For the quarter report, we did “awards”. This time around, because we like to focus on the positive, I’m going to do the best of the first half of the year for each team. I thought about doing best and worse, but (a) that’s twice as much work and (b) focus on the positive! So, let’s discuss the best of the AFC 2020 Midseason.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (7-2): The best thing to happen to the Bills this year has got to be that Josh Allen finally seems to be rounding into form as a decent to good quarterback. He’s still not a top tier quarterback even though I might have him in my top 10 at this point. That’s actually an intriguing couple of questions. Maybe I’ll answer them before the end of the year.

Miami Dolphins (5-3): Anyone who has followed this page for any period of time knows exactly what I’m going to say here. Granted, it has only been two games and he wasn’t great in one of them, but Tua Tagovaiola has been my man crush since his first appearance at Alabama.

New England Patriots (3-5): I guess in a year where everything seems to be going sideways for the Pats, the best thing for them is that they aren’t “Eff the Pats” this year. I’m sure they appreciate it. The thing is, I don’t hate Brady without the Pats and I feel sorry for the Pats without Brady. It was just an unholy alliance I couldn’t allow to exist.

New York Jets (0-9): I mean, what can I say about the Jets? At least they have an inside track at Trevor Lawrence. Though, what does that mean now that the guy has had Covid-19? We’ve seen that might have lingering effects. I suppose that it is fitting that I’m having trouble spinning an 0-9 record into a positive.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (8-1): You might expect me to say Mahomes here. And, with reason because I considered it. After all, last year he became my main NFL man crush. But, the fact of the matter is…well, the fact of the matter is that I’m saying Mahomes is the best thing that has happened to the Chiefs this year and maybe ever.

Las Vegas Raiders (5-3): I didn’t want the Raiders to move. The Raiders are, and always will be, from Oakland. However, I’d be lying if I said anything other than “Vegas Baby!” when discussing the best for this team. It’s just perfect that there are now two teams in the gambling capital of America. It really puts a dent in the whole sports is about comradery and competition.

Denver Broncos (3-5): Denver is rapidly approaching the territory that Seattle occupied briefly a few years ago. If someone doesn’t remind me periodically of their existence, I forget. I guess the best thing I can say about them is that at least they have this year to avoid being the fourth place team in the division. Because, next year, Herbert is going to blow up and propel San Diego ahead of them.

San Diego (I know, LA, but eff that) Chargers (2-6): The Chargers don’t deserve Justin Herbert. But, they have him. And, like Mahomes, he’s the best thing to happen to this team in a long time. Sure, they had Phillip Rivers, but honestly, what kind of a life is that for a football team?

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-0): They are my childhood team. That’s a tough habit to break. However, I drift farther and farther away every year from this team. Perhaps that’s the best thing to happen to them as they are 8-0 this year. I refuse to admit their rapey helmetless motorcycle riding QB is great. Their receiving corps thogh.

Baltimore Ravens (6-2): The best thing for this team is that they aren’t the Browns anymore. Can you imagine? Having Baker Mayfield as QB instead of Lamar Jackson? Think about it. Just for a minute, Ravens fans, and tell me I’m wrong.

Cleveland Browns (5-3): I used to like Baker. I rooted for the Browns and tried to use the 538 playoff predictor to get them into the playoffs a couple of years ago. I might still like Baker. But, he’s not the best thing on the Browns this year. Then again, he just might be. I can’t think of anything better. How sad is that?

Cincinatti Bengals (2-5-1): I’d be insane to say anything other than Joe “Mothereffing” Burrow. The kid has lived up to the hype as the number one pick. Sure, the Bengals are in last place in the division and they have two games left against the Steelers and one against the Ravens. They can hang their hat on Burrow being legit and next year being better.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts (6-3): I guess the best thing about the Colts is that they’re tied for first in the division in spite of being in salcap hell because of Andrew Luck’s decision to retire at the beginning of last season. By the way, I still support it 100%. Some things (meaning pretty much anything) are more important than football.

Tennessee Titans (6-3): Having trouble coming up with a best for the Titans. Until the Steelers beat them a few weeks ago, they were also undefeated. Since then, they’ve lost 3 out of 4 including one to the aforementioned Colts. I guess Derrick Henry is a beast.

Houston Texans (2-7): The best thing for the Texans is that they’ve gone back to their annual status of most disappointing team in the AFC. I mean, that’s not really a best, but it is a superlative. Great job, Texans!

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7): Sure the Jets are winless, but I’m not entirely sure where I was going with that. The fact of the matter is that it is best for both of these teams that American sports don’t have European soccer style relegation.

The Verdict

I’m actually more interested in the conference now that we’ve reached the AFC 2020 midseason. The Chiefs no longer look to be the world beaters. The Steelers are surprisingly playing an effective heel as the only undefeated team. Tua! is winning hearts across Florida. Justin Herbert and Joe Burrow round out the great young QBs in the league. I keep saying to Chris that we seem to be going through another golden age for QBs and I’m here for it.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).