Well, football is finally over. We recovered from the emotional trauma of watching Tom Brady win another Super Bowl. Hell, that one event devastated me so much that I even forgot that Alabama won another national championship. January indeed represented a dark time in our page’s history. But, we can safely put all of that behind us. Welcome, fans of 2 Guys Gaming, to Marvel Comics February 2021.
No lame joke. I just realized how weirdly February is spelled.
My high on Marvel Comics dulled a bit last month. I still put all books in the Great and Good categories. However, all three good books took a turn for the worse last month. I know that every month can’t be a winner. However, add in the fact that Spawn dragged on for about 20 pages too long and it looks like we are in the winter doldrums for comic books.
I should have seen it coming. My pull list went from almost 100 dollars at times in the middle of last year to just over 50 dollars the last few month. I think there are only 7 titles in my Marvel list for February. Plus, Marvel scheduled Immortal Hulk to end in less than a year. Sure, DC made up for it by blitzing us with Future State, but I’m going in to this Marvel Comics February 2021 review less than enthused.
Thank goodness WandaVision and Falcon and Winter Soldier are here to save us from mediocrity.
The Great
Amazing Spiderman #55-58 (Nick Spencer, Mark Bagley, et al): I feared a bit of a let down with the end of Last Remains. I needn’t have worried. Spencer came through again. Good ending and now Petey has to deal with the fallout, which promises to be potentially deadly.
Immortal Hulk #42 (Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, et al): I didn’t care for the Jackie sequence. The Gamma Flight sequence was compelling, but ultimately unnecessary. This issue nearly bumped Hulk to “Good” for the month. However, the Leader “in The Below” and Utrecht starting to pull out the stops at the end sets up for a potential fun next few issues.
Thor #11 (Donny Cates and Nic Klein): Man, I love this Donald Blake story. Throw a little Jane Foster and some murderous tension for good measure. Also, we get to see what Thor’s been up to. The final reveal nearly made me put this in “Good”, but I will give Mr. Cates the benefit of the doubt because this story has been so great.
Venom #32 (Donny Cates and Iban Coello): Eddie’s dead? Flash is back in symbiote form? So many questions that perhaps will be answered when I finally pick up the King in Black main story. Perhaps not. But, unlike the previous issues, this one makes me want to check it out.
The Good
Fantastic Four #28 (Dan Slott and RB Silva): The story was interesting. I enjoyed seeing what the Griever had in store for some of our intrepid heroes. The main problem is that the issue wrapped up a bit too quickly.
X-Men #16 and 17 (Johnathon Hickman, Phil Noto, and Brett Booth): I feel like I’m missing something with this latest iteration of X-Men. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the story. I just honestly have no idea what is even happening half the time. Someone give me some issues I need to read to catch up.
The Decent
Avengers #40 and 41 (Jason Aaron and Javi Garron): Boy, this story went off the rails quickly. I remember writing during the introduction to this story that I looked forward to the eventual payoff. Now that it’s here, I feel 100% meh about the whole experience. What could have been great has just become another beat ’em up with the Phoenix Force as the prize.
The Verdict
Marvel Comics February 2021, like Spawn before them, took a bit of a step back this month. It appears as if much of their focus is going into King in Black right now and the quality of their other books is suffering as a result. Mind you, they’re not bad. They just don’t “do it for me” (I’m pretty sure that’s a movie or television quote, but I can’t find it right now)
Of course, Spaceballs.
in the same way that the books of the past few months have. Maybe I’m just out of the Christmas spirit finally.
No other title in the history of this web page matches as well as Super Bowl LV Post Mortem. Hell, I needed almost a week to mourn the loss. Thank you for your patience during this radio silence. I promise next week will be back to normal. I plan on finally finishing the comics from this month and either playing D&D with the family or doing the new MTG set review.
RIP in pepperonis my excitement about the National Football League.
Well, Tom Brady won….again. He looked flawless…again. In all honesty, I fully expected the Bucs to win. As I texted Chris when I heard the news, “Paranoia is setting in. The entire Chefs offensive line is backups.” He replied with a story from WEEI that said half of the team might have COVID after getting hair cuts. That turned out to be untrue. Nevertheless, Tom Brady and his deal with the devil endures.
And, still, this outcome dilutes my anticipation of next season. Sure, you could make the argument that I should be anticipating the revenge and redemption story of Patrick Mahomes. Sorry, I’m just not that kind of fan. I watch football at this stage in my life because I find it fun and I find no joy in Tom Brady curb stomping Mudville out of existence. In the interest of getting back into the habit of posting, let’s do this Super Bowl LV Post Mortem.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Instead of wallowing in the swamp that is my indifference towards what others call greatness (Look, I admit, he’s great. It’s also boring.), I will focus on the positive. An impossible task? As a great man once said, “You underestimate my power.”
Granted, that didn’t work out so well for him. Perhaps I should choose my allegiances more carefully.
If we go back to my preview article about the Bucs, I listed two people that I’d be happy for if they won. Granted, I did write that article on a high that Kansas City was going to thoroughly eviscerate Tampa Bay. Now that I have to face the reality, do I still feel the same?
Sure, I picked Gronkenstein mostly as a lark. But, I admit that I actually feel good for the old lunk. I can’t explain my sudden change of heart that doesn’t extend to The Golden Boy. Oh well, best to not analyze it. Just wallow in my hatred. Avoidance is a healthy way to deal with our problems. Speaking of avoidance…
I’m extremely happy for Bruce Arians. Again, I say, the Steelers made the wrong decision in picking Ben over him. This extremely limited data point proves me right on that point. Congratulations to Mr. Arians. He deserves this and if any coach could get me to feel even slightly good about a Mahomes loss.
Kansas City Chiefs
And, so, we congratulate the Buccaneers on winning the Super Bowl. It’s just too bad that they had to win because the other team forfeited the game. Avoidance and denial. Two healthy coping mechanisms for sure. Though, to be honest, a forfeit comes close to the truth. I will say one thing about the Chiefs. Bill Maher made the point by saying, “Somehow this team is still called the Chiefs. Washington doesn’t even have a name. They’re literally just ‘Team’, but these guys get to keep Chiefs for some reason.” I guess love for Patrick Mahomes blinds me to the blatant racism of this team name.
The Verdict
Growing up, the Super Bowl always sucked. Most of the time, the NFC won in convincing fashion. Tom Brady changed all of that. Nearly every game he played in was exciting and decided by a field goal or less. For a while, I enjoyed that change of pace. Little did I know that I’d be enjoying that change of pace for over 2 decades. Time for some new blood. Hopefully this is a one time thing and I can find a reason to look forward to next season.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
Why start with WandaVision Episode 5? Are you one of the people who questioned the initial premise? No, but I can name several people who did. People I respected as intellectual and even one who works in the industry. Wait, what? Do you have connections to people in entertainment? Well, technically, yes. A former student is living and working in California and a friend from a message board is a stand up comedian and bit actor in some TV shows and movies.
In spite of the success of the previous Presidential administration, I still believe this.
Instead, I speak of Wil Wheaton, who posted on his Facebook page that he felt the first two episodes wasted the potential of the characters and the time of the audience watching. He nearly gave up on the show because of it. Also, a friend said that he lacked confidence in the show’s creators to make it more than an homage to classic television sitcoms.
In all honesty (there’s that word again), I simply didn’t even consider doing a review of the show until this morning when I went back to bed after discovering we had a 2 hour delay remote day. As I fell asleep, I thought about the article that I planned to write, a review of Kaldheim cards because the set released this weekend. For whatever reason, the idea popped into my head to write a review of WandaVision Episode 5.
How Did We Get Here? (Spoilers Abound!)
Episode 1: Wanda Maximoff, one of the most powerful magic users in the Marvel Universe, and Vision, probably the most powerful Artificial Intelligence in that same universe, live in a 1950s sitcom loosely based on Bewitched. Haha, get it? WandaVision! Perhaps, a bit too on the nose. What’s this at the end, though? Someone is watching this television show. Are they controlling the show?
Episode 2: Now, on to the 1960s and a wacky plot point about the gumming up (literally) of Vision’s innards and a magic show potentially gone wrong. The twist (well, there are several) revolves around Wanda’s sudden pregnancy. With it, comes another oddity. A beekeeper exits from a manhole. Wanda says simply, “No”, before turning back time. Fade to color as the 1970s enter.
Episode 3: Wanda’s pregnancy is progressing…and quickly. The doctor’s car conveniently breaks down so that he and his wife can’t go on vacation. Pregnancy is causing Wanda’s powers to go wonky. Babies arriving! Vision goes supersonic to get the doctor. He still isn’t fast enough. When a stork arrives to indicate that the babies are imminent, a neighbor shows up to deliver the babies and drop the bomb on Wanda about her brother. Wanda ejects the neighbor, Vision meets the babies, and agents surround the ejected neighbor. After this episode, a small brained individual on the internet made fun of me for pointing out that it looked like things were about to get real. Haha, he mocked, that stork sure was something.
Episode 4: We see who has been watching. We also learn the identity of the beekeeper. The neighbor who delivered Wanda’s twins is revealed to be working with them both. What could easily have been a filler episode ends up tying up several loose ends. It also opens new cans of worms. Told you, GTFO of here, rando on the internet. It’s about to get real.
WandaVision Episode 5
After episode 3 or 4, Christine asked to watch Inifinity War again. That led to us watching Endgame and then Captain Marvel. We showed her the chronological list of the movies. So, our Super Bowl marathon this year ended up being Captain America and Iron Man. Only two movies because they are so damn long. We rounded out the marathon with WandaVision Episode 5.
Aside from that, the point is that I explained the main plot points to the movies and the television show. I got the idea and expressed to a couple of friends, that I should do a Cliff’s notes for the MCU. I said that I’m sure it already exists, but the show is bringing in new viewers and maybe this can be the thing that finally gets me some notoriety. Apologies for that bit of indulgence.
What about this episode stuck with me for two days and led to this article? Well, we are now in the 1980s and stuck in a show resembling Family Ties. The twins age up twice in this episode and threaten to do so again at the end when their new dog ends up dying (rough, I know). Vision gets a glimpse of the world beyond Wanda’s control. Wanda interacts with the agents outside of her sitcom. The final reveal is the biggest mind eff so far when Pietro shows back up. But, that’s not all. It’s the Fox Studios actor playing Pietro.
As I posted on my Facebook, “Holy ess….”
The Verdict
Hot damn. I loved this show from the beginning. Like I said, I always knew there was something underneath the sitcom setting and honestly couldn’t believe that people thought, “That’s all there is?” Well, the first payoff was huge and with only 3 episodes left, I can’t wait to see what they do to bring it all together. Granted, that will only lead to more set up for the movies this year and next. Honestly, though, I’ve been looking for a reason to get excited about the the next phase of the MCU. Wanda, showing her power once again, has done just that.
After yesterday’s awkward attempt to find good things about Tom Brady winning another Super Bowl, I present our preview of Super Bowl LV: Kansas City. Unlike a few years ago, I have an actual rooting interest in this game. To be perfectly honest, it might be quicker to list the reasons I don’t want Kansas City to win this game.
Because there are this many…
So, in the interest of finishing this article before the game starts, I will keep it under five. Just off the top of my head, I have three, so once I get writing, to stay consistent with yesterday’s article, I will stick to those three. Let’s explore, then, my top three reasons we love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City.
Travis Kelce
I never concerned myself much with Kelce. Occasionally, I picked him for my daily fantasy lineup. Usually, I won money in those instances. I guess that says something about the dehumanizing nature of professional sports. Maybe I just don’t have the time to keep track of my family, students, and also over 1600 NFL players. Hell, I barely even know all of the players on the Steelers and they’re supposedly my favorite team.
Editor’s Note: I stopped writing about here. Then, I went for a snow shoe with my wife. After, I cooked lunch and dinner while watching our Super (Heroes, not Bowl) marathon. And, so, it is that I’m finishing this article after the fact. I have to admit. It’s a bit depressing all things considered.
Andy Reid
I gave Andy Reid a ton of crap in the past. And, with good reason. The guy never met a clock management situation that he didn’t screw up. Then, something happened. That something isn’t just Patrick Mahomes. Granted, getting Patrick Mahomes helped greatly.
But, Reid just sort of started going for it. He ignored the tendencies that were holding him back and blew the lid off of the NFL. The league is a copycat league and so many coaches are now going for it on fourth down. Sure, you might argue this stems from Belichick and in some ways, I agree with that assessment. But, it’s taken a giant teddy bear like Andy Reid and his genius offensive coordinator, Eric Bieniemy, to make the moves more mainstream. There’s only one person I will feel more happy for than Andy Reid if the Chiefs win this game.
Patrick Mahomes
He already captured the league’s imagination and adoration. He won both a regular season and a Super Bowl MVP. And, he’s only 25 years old. A second consecutive championship cements him as one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.
Did I mention that he’s only 25 years old? I may hold back my love and enjoyment of watching Josh Allen or Tua play. That has never been the case with Patrick Mahomes. He just makes football fun again for me. That’s been sorely missing for the last 15 years or so. The Chiefs truly can represent a seismic shift in the way football is played. Their 25 year old starting quarterback is at the helm of all that.
The Verdict
Apologies that I didn’t get this Super Bowl LV: Kansas City preview out before the game. I wanted so badly to finish it and meet that deadline. Instead, I have to waltz in with my tail between my legs confident in the fact that I was completely wrong about this game. Well, not completely wrong. I did text Chris a few days ago that my paranoia ran rampant at the news that Kansas City’s entire offensive line was backups. Like I just texted him, “Football is so unforgiving because it is only one game.” Oh well, Mahomes is 25 and hopefully this loss gives him some inspiration to come out and kick butt next year.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
What do we love about Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay? Not really anything. No offense to them. What do we hate about Tampa Bay? As that represents the original title of the article, surely I can give you several reasons why. Well, about that. I simply named the article that originally to be in contrast with the “We love” article tomorrow about the Chiefs. However, my headline analyzer, even though it talks about strong emotion words, clearly values positive emotion over negative.
Sorry, Buddy.
What makes me indifferent about Tampa Bay? That’s a far less interesting proposition. However, to be true to myself, I must explore that. I mean, I did spend two or three paragraphs trying to convince my readers that I don’t hate Tom Brady. You may argue that I wasn’t persuasive in my argument and I might agree with that. However, I promise you. I don’t hate Tom Brady nearly as much as I did when he played for the Patriots. Something about that unholy union of player and team rubbed me the wrong way.
And, so, I will take inspiration from the fact that my headline analyzer pushed me to focus on the positive. If I search my feelings, can I find legitimate reasons to be happy if the Bucs win this Super Bowl? Join me then for We Love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay.
Bruce Arians
Bruce Arians coached the Steelers offense once upon a time. I texted Chris, “Arians is the last time the Steelers had a viable offense that I trusted.” He and Ben never saw eye to eye, which means that Ben, for some reason, didn’t like Arians or his offense. For some reason, the Steelers hitched their wagon to Ben and so Arians went packing.
All he did was reinvigorate the Arizona Cardinals and then landed in Tampa Bay and dumbed into coaching Tom Brady. Ben and the Steelers started off a suspect 11-0 before falling completely apart and lost two straight games to the Cleveland Browns. I think we can all agree the Steelers made the wrong decision between the two.
Plus, the man can dress.
Gronkenstein
Being the only member of the Patriots that received a cute nickname from me, Gronk holds a special place in my heart. By all rights, I should hate him as much as I hated most of the other players on the team, if not more. For reasons I can’t explain, I actually love the lunk.
I texted Chris that he would return next year. Chris wondered why. I responded, “What else will he do? Sell his name to shady CBD companies?” “Good point,” Chris replied. The guy has the personality to be an announcer. However, I don’t see anyone actually hiring him. Maybe he could fill the Moose Johnson role for some network.
Anything Else?
Honestly, nope. I should be excited to witness the history of Tom Brady winning 7 out of 10 Super Bowls. I mentioned in a previous article that “been there, done that” prevents me from experiencing that particular sense of joy.
Leonard Fournette can take a hike. He dissed my man Blake Bortles when he said earlier in the season that it would feel good to finally play with a decent quarterback. Likewise, Antonio Brown’s and Ndamukong Suh’s histories both preclude me from feeling anything but contempt.
The Verdict
We most certainly do not love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay. Sure, I’ll be happy for Gronk and Arians. I’m not sure that those feelings of joy will outweigh the great sadness I feel for Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. As you know, I don’t even watch the Super Bowl anymore. Because I am the only football fan, bout a decade or so ago, we came up with the idea to watch a movie marathon instead of the game. This year, we decided to watch Super Hero movies, so I may not even tune into the Gamecast. In any case, join me tomorrow for my Chiefs preview.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
Well, as expected, Spawn 314 represents another step in the recent history of the roller coaster of quality. Up for a few months, down for a few months, back up for a few months. The last few issues looked to be building to something. You can draw your own conclusions before I reveal my thoughts.
Trust me.
See, I told you. Right back. Spawn 314 is boring. It is the first issue of Spawn that I haven’t read cover to cover. I skimmed through the fight with Hulk Spawn (more on that later) or whatever. I completely ignored the soliloquy from Omega Spawn that covered way too many pages. I saw hate a few weeks ago for a page that Donny Cates wrote for Venom because it was just 9 panels of Eddie’s face. I’ll take that over whatever this issue was any day.
You might argue against the title of the article Never mind that “Love Letter to Spawn ***” grew out of my attempt to turn my “Headline Analyzer” green. And, it worked. Nevertheless, I still love Spawn. I will always love Spawn in the same way that I love Mario and Sonic. The book introduced me to more “adult” themed comics and started my life long (and consistent again) collection of them. Why, then, don’t I love Spawn 314?
The Great
The Art: I think I mentioned in the last article that the art isn’t on Capullo level. Then again, recent Capullo art isn’t exactly at his level. I don’t even like this art as much as I liked Ken Lashley’s short recent tenure. However, the covers are amazing as always. The interior art looks great, too, and I focused on that as I ignored the text for the most part.
The Good
The Story: Up to this issue, the story got better and better with each issue. I went from not caring about She Spawn, Cy-Gor, or Overtkill to actively enjoying their contributions to the story. The story, as I just said, also improved over that same time period. Then, wit this one issue, it fell so far. Hopefully, in the end, it doesn’t even matter. Yes, I understand it’s a poor interpretation of the lyrics. And, I apologize, Linkin Park fans.
The Decent
Omega Spawn: In the last section, I said that I couldn’t have cared less about the supporting characters at the beginning of this most recent arc. I recently just said the same about Omega Spawn and the Hulk Spawn or whatever it’s called. The fight meant nothing to me. The subsequent explanation felt empty. Who knows? Maybe Uncle Todd is smarter than I am again and he has a way to make me care about this story, too.
The Verdict
Spawn 314 bored me. I hope this represents simply a filler issue and that the next issues serve the same purpose as more recent issues. They need to flesh out the Omega Spawn and give me a reason to care about his existence. I mean, I’m not one to tell someone how to do their jobs. However, if Uncle Todd wants me to sing his praises next month, he needs to round this story out better.
Sorry that I’m a day late on this NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem article. I was busy simulating for my epic 70 year run of Super Bowl LV: As It Should Have Been. Actually, I don’t own the teams for this year yet to be able to simulate the games yet. They won’t be released for another couple of months at the earliest.
In all honesty, I’ve just been slacking lately.
But, I bring you my take on the fallout from the games this past weekend. Spoiler alert: I liked one outcome. However, I hated the other in every way possible. Instead of dwelling on the games themselves, which we all watched, allow me to reflect on how the results may have affected each team. I realize that may be unorthodox.
What are we if not unorthodox around here. I just try to find those forgotten or lost topics to write about. With so much content out there, especially in sports, that can be difficult. Nevertheless, 6 years of a web page that reaches about a dozen people at a time proves that I do not give up easily. Join me, now, for the NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem.
Green Bay Packers – Wither Aaron Rodgers?
Not my terrible photoshop, but I happened to be in my Simpsons crapposting group on Facebook and this one popped up.
Poor Aaron Rodgers. I mentioned in the previous two articles that he has thrown less than 100 interceptions in his career. This season, he again made a compelling case as the MVP. And yet, in the aftermath of this weekend’s game, the less imaginative members of sports media saddled him with the “can’t win the big one” label.
Yes, the Packers lost the game with him. Yes, that makes them 1-4 in conference championships with him as their. Forget for a minute that wins and losses are not a quarterback stat. Football is the ultimate team game until a quarterback has an unfavorable record. Then, all of a sudden, he’s a choker and “can’t win the big one”. So stupid.
Tampa Bay got Tom Brady and then basically sold their future for now. They got Leonard Fournette, a good receiving corp and offensive line, Bruce Arians as coach, and one of the best defenses. Kansas City reloaded after Hunt went to Cleveland. Hell, even Buffalo got Stephon Diggs to help Josh Allen. Aaron Rodgers has the other Aaron, a receiving corp that drops ball after ball, and a suspect defense made even more so by a cornerback whose kink is apparently getting beat like a drum every other play.
Chris accused me of “Brady hate” during our text exchange during the game. More on that later. The whole game, I just kept thinking how much this sucks for Rodgers. I hope he gets another chance to drag this corpse of a team up the mountain and shut everyone up. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier. You’re the coach of a team down 8 with about 2 minutes to go. What do you do? Oh, you’re kicking a field goal. Surely, you have the trickiest onside kick planned, right? Right? RIGHT?!
Buffalo Bills – Young Coaches Got Schooled
Bills fans are adorably naive.
I quietly rode the Josh Allen bandwagon last year. He looked to be improving. However, I didn’t want to come out as a full Josh Allen fan. I’ve been burned before. Remember Kordell Stewart? I bought too many shares of that stock just before it tanked. The jury on Tua in the NFL is still out, but his college career is enough for me to hang my hat on. Therefore, unless your name is Patrick F. Mahomes, I reserve the right to be, uh, reserved in my adoration.
Even though I wanted to watch this game more than any other game so far this season, I didn’t. I tuned in to the Gamecast and saw KC was up 21-9. Texted Chris, “Well, at least something is going according to plan.” He agreed. I “watched” the Gamecast for a bit more and went to bed confident in the Chefs’ victory.
So, not having seen the game, I can’t comment with 100% accuracy. I will, instead, report from one of the various articles I’ve read in the past week. It looked to me like the two losing teams simply got outcoached. Yes, I realize that seems hypocritical when I just said the team wins and loses and that it can’t be blamed on one person. Nevertheless, the coach (especially in the NFL) has much of the power and decision making capacity.
Think of it like a game of Magic the Gathering (what’s this, gaming content?). Now, granted, football players are more than simply pieces of cardboard. But, stick with me for this possibly overwrought metaphor. The decisions that you make (right or wrong) add up over the game and one costly mistake can lose you the game. The point is the Bills will be back and I’m fully on the Josh Allen bandwagon now.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Oh, God, Not This Again
Yes, much of what I’ve said about Tom Brady should not be published on a fan friendly web page. Allow me to explain.
I already said that Chris accused me of Brady hate. He said this in response to my preview article where I said that I don’t hate Brady as a football player or a person. I assure you, all of that is true. Then again, by simply needing to assure you, I may have already exposed my guilt. So, what’s the deal? Do I or do I not hate Tom Brady?
I don’t hate Tom Brady the person. Yes, he is a consummate con man that peddles questionable medical and lifestyle advice. Basically, he’s Gwenyth Paltrow for sports dudes. But, he seems to actually believe the crap he says, so it’s not like he is Trump level con man. I also don’t hate Tom Brady the football player. He does what a quarterback is supposed to do and he does it very well.
I do hate, still, that he receives a bulk of the credit, especially for this game. He threw 3 TDs, that much is true. He also threw three interceptions and, in the second half, looked like Eli Manning. As mentioned, his defense bailed him out. It also helped that Green Bay’s coach isn’t very good at probability and statistics.
I read one article that credited the defense, which gives me some faith that bad actors in sports media are being ushered out the door. These guys are professional writer and speakers and the best they can come up with is “Tom Brady Good/Aaron Rodgers Chokes”. It infuriates me to no end. I even said to Chris this week, why do we pay for sports media content? Eff the sports media.
Kansas City Chiefs – Start Chad Henne?
I’m sorry, Patrick. Please forgive me.
In the closing seconds of the Green Bay/Tampa Bay game, I might have texted Chris, “I might consider starting Henne in this game to give Mahomes more time to rest and recuperate.” He texted about turf toe in an attempt to trigger my paranoia, so I responded in kind.
I forgot that the NFL has access to a wide variety of pain killing medication (surprisingly, even though it’s been decriminalized and legalized, that doesn’t include cannabis) that they can mix into cocktails to get a guy ready to take his 3 hours of abuse on the field. So, it most likely is that Mahomes was out there and tossing 3 TDs against a Bills defense that looked good earlier in the year and the week before, but wilted against decent to good offenses.
A couple of days ago, I went back and read my article previewing the Eagles/Patriots Super Bowl. I must cheer against Tom Brady. I cultivated my entire football fan identity around that key idea. And, so, as a former Pittsburgh native, I swallowed my pride and cheered for the Eagles. I took no joy in this.
This year, I can both root against Tom Brady and for Patrick Mahomes. I do this fully aware that the NFL loves a “riding off into the sunset” story and will push that above all else. Knowing that my heart might be ripped in two adds to the excitement. I take solace in the fact that Chris and I both agree that Tampa, unless their defense plays out of their minds, doesn’t have a chance in this game. Oh crap. That gives me no solace at all.
The Verdict
I enjoyed this past weekend. I did tune out of the Packers/Bucs game for the second and third quarters because I thought the Bucs might run away with the game. Chris got me back in by updating me on Brady’s three picks each time they happened. I then sat in stunned silence at the field goal call before texting Chris that I’m not a football coach but I did not understand it at all. You already know that I didn’t watch the Chiefs/Bills game, but the Chiefs won, so that’s all gravy. Thanks for reading my NFL Conference Championships 2021 Post Mortem and see you in a few days for the Super Bowl Preview.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
I think that Chris missed my article this week about the NFL Conference Championships 2021. He texted yesterday to ask my picks for the Super Bowl. I know we talked about it at the end of the wild card round and I told him Kansas City vs. Green Bay. Maybe he wanted to see if I changed my mind.
Spoiler Alert: I didn’t change my mind.
I responded, “I want to see KC/TB, but Brady still has that mojo even if he isn’t very good.” He replied that he wanted to see the same. I hopefully texted back, “The solace is that Brady faced Brees, who is clearly on his last leg. At this point, Rodgers is the superior quarterback.” He agreed. So, since that’s settled, what will I write in this article.
A couple of years ago, I ranked the potential Super Bowls according to an extremely scientific “Eff the Pats” scale. Since the Patriots sucked out loud this year without Brady, I won’t have to implement that scale. I don’t hate Brady as an individual. He only offended me in his unholy union with Belichick. Maybe I should use a “Mahomes Magic” scale. It’s just the “Eff the Pats” scale, but positive. Everyone, send your magic to the Chefs for tomorrow. Chad Henne did okay last week, but I need Mahomes. Continue to read my thoughts on the NFL Conference Championships 2021.
Bills/Bucs – 0 Mahomes Magic
Technically, Bills/Packers is 0 Mahomes Magic, too. However, I will explain in the next section why that isn’t true. This game is, for sure, 0 Mahomes Magic, though. No actual Mahomes. We do get discount Mahomes in Josh Allen. However, if he beats the Chefs, I would be too bitter to enjoy watching him play in the Super Bowl.
Add in the fact that I’d have to watch another Tom Brady Super Bowl and you have a recipe for a potential emotional breakdown. Granted, I just admitted that I don’t hate Brady as a player or even as a person (but he does seem like kind of a trash person sometimes). Not wanting to see Brady again fits into my “been there, done that” box. Plus, the media would simply fellate Brady for the entire two weeks leading to the Super Bowl. It’s enough to make me dry heave.
Bills/Packers – 3 Mahomes Magic
How, without Mahomes even in the game, does it receive any Mahomes Magic, let alone three? Patience. I told you I will explain and I will. Granted, this scenario lacks Patrick Mahomes, as mentioned. However, it also lacks any mention of TB12, too. For me, the addition of Rodgers at the subtraction of Brady is an automatic +3 Mahomes Magic.
I always liked Rodgers. Even when I used to be a bigger Steelers fan and his Packers beat them in the Super Bowl, I shrugged and tipped my hat to the man. Ever since reading the article a few weeks ago that he has thrown only 89 picks in his career. Okay, pause a moment after that last stat because this next one is the real mind screw. He’s thrown 3 (yes, 3) pick sixes. Five guys, including our man Hall of Famer Eli Manning, has throw 3 in a game.
Watching Rodgers eviscerate the Bills defense would put my mind at ease that they beat Mahomes to get there.
Chiefs/Bucs – 5 Mahomes Magic
I mean, let’s be real. Mahomes is worth 10 Mahomes Magic by himself. However, I said I would be consistent to the other scale, so he’s just an automatic 5. Not even Brady is enough to knock that dew off of the lily. Add to the fact that Mahomes beat Brady 3 out of the 4 times they’ve played and I have full confidence in him doing it again.
Sure, there’s the possibility of Brady fellating as mentioned earlier. However, Mahomes Magic easily eclipses anything that Brady brings to the table. Plus, watching that sad old man trip over his walker while the young and virile Patrick Mahomes smile his way through 4 or 5 TDs and another Super Bowl MVP is enough to make a man swoon.
Chiefs/Packers – 8 Mahomes Magic
Mahomes. No Brady in sight. Rodgers. Endless State Farm commercials. What more can you ask for? Nothing. This might be the most perfect Super Bowl matchup in history. If it doesn’t happen, I’m going to simulate it 25,000 times to assuage my hurt. So, if either the Bills or Bucs win, get ready for 70 years of “Super Bowl LV – How It Should Have Been”.
The Verdict
Seriously, though, any outcome of the NFL Conference Championships 2021 is okay with me. Besides, we never actually watch the game. We started a tradition maybe a decade ago now where we watch all of the movies from a franchise on Super Bowl day while still eating the standard Super Bowl fare of appetizers. In honor of Cobra Kai, this year it will be The Karate Kid series. Hey, don’t blame me. Christine came up with the idea. I’d be happy simply rewatching Cobra Kai.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
Okay, that’s more like it. While I thought the Coin Flip weekend was underwhelming, I enjoyed the heck out of the divisional round this past weekend. I look forward to discussing all of it in this NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021 post mortem article. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun watching the NFL.
It might have been the Steelers/Arizona Super Bowl. Surely, that’s the last game to make me jump out of my seat.
Granted, it wasn’t all wine and roses this weekend, as we will discuss in the article. I experienced one of the single scariest moments of my football fan life this weekend .I guarantee you know what I’m talking about. Nevertheless, I will keep that modicum of suspense so that you continue reading.
I will structure this NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021 post mortem article by analyzing each game. I will start with the game that I considered to be the least exciting and progress to the most exciting game of the weekend in my opinion. Okay, enough explanation. Let’s talk some football.
Snooze Fest (Ravens 3, Bills 17)
I considered this my game of the week going into the weekend. Both of these teams have shot into my top 5 over the last couple of years. I love both quarterbacks. Imagine my surprise then, when I spent most of the first half ignoring it to play chess with my son, then went to bed at halftime. I woke up to a text from Chris about LJ’s injury and checked the score. Turns out, I missed nothing. Well, technically, I missed two Buffalo TDs, but really all I missed was a terrible game.
An exciting blowout (Rams 18, Packers 32)
I knew the outcome of this game before it played. The Rams honestly had no chance. Sure, people commented repeatedly about number 1 defense vs. number 1 offense and that statistic. Turns out none of that matters with Aaron Rodgers residing on the opposing sideline. He and the Packers shredded the Rams. If I’m being honest, I have no idea how the Rams even scored the 18 points they got. Still, a fun game.
More exciting if it hadn’t given me a heart attack (Browns 17, Chefs 22)
Patrick Mahomes went down with a clear concussion. For some reason (plausible deniability), the network played coy about his status for the rest of the game. Until they weren’t able to deny it any longer, then they finally reported it. Now, the rest of this week will simply be shows talking about him in protocol and whether he will play next week. Already, Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption did a segment on it. I might have to avoid sports talk for the rest of this week. Aside from that, I enjoyed this game. The Browns made it much closer than it should have been. Chris and I both texted one another to say that we thought it was over after the Baker pick deep in their territory. Turns out it wasn’t over until the last play of the game. And, that call took cajones.
Why Was This Game So Fun? (Bucs 30, Aints 20)
There’s something to be said for not having a rooting interest in the game. I hate both these quarterbacks. Well, perhaps hate is too strong a word. However, of the quarterbacks in the divisional round, I put these two guys at the bottom of the likability index. However, I did get what I asked for from this game. Old Man Brady pulled out another of his patented “how the hell did he win that game” games. The Aints suffered another of their recent heartbreaking losses. Perhaps this game says more about me and my capacity for schadenfreude than I’d like. But, if you’ve been here for any time at all, you already knew that.
The Verdict
Other than the Bills, every game went the way I hoped. Even the Bills winning was half a win for me since I only slightly favored the Ravens in the game. That’s not why I enjoyed the weekend so much, though. For whatever reason, I put aside the adult trappings of cynicism and watched football like I used to when I was a kid. I cheered. I shouted. You know what else? I nearly cried over Mahomes’ injury. Hell, I even came to terms with the fact that TB12 might not be as BS as I’ve always considered it. I, for one, can’t wait until the championship games.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
I’m cutting this NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021 preview a bit close. I think the first game this week starts in about an hour and a half. I should have this written and posted before then, so it will still count as a preview. Why is this so late? And, where is the CFP National Championship post mortem? What is happening to this page? Is it about to become inactive for a couple of months again?
Never say never, but I’m committed to keeping the momentum, even if it isn’t quite the same momentum as last year right now.
You expect me to say something about school now. While not completely wrong, the story is actually much simpler and less responsible. I started playing Minecraft again on my new laptop and that sucked many hours from my life over the last week. I apologize for my negligence. Let’s talk about the NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021.
NFC Divisional Playoffs
Rams/Packers (Saturday, 4:35 EST): I texted Chris earlier in the week with the question, “Any surprises this weekend? re: NFL” I will save his answer for later because it relates to another game. I responded that the Rams have a great defense this year and they could pull off a win against the Packers. He replied about Jared Goff’s injury and I conceded he was probably right. The Rams might keep the game close, but ultimately I think that Aaron Rodgers and his 89 (seriously) career interceptions find a way to pull out the win.
Bucs/Aints (Sunday, 6:40 EST): During our text exchange, we both agreed this game has the potential to be the most entertaining. Sure, N’Awlins beat up on the Bucs twice this year. But, and this argument isn’t much of an argument, Tom Brady in the playoffs. Also, we can’t forget the Aint’s recent tortured history in the playoffs. Sure, they usually wait until the conference championship to break their fans hearts. I have confidence they can take care of business a round early this year.
AFC Divisional Playoffs
Ravens/Bills (Saturday, 8:15 EST): If Bucs/Aints promises to be the most entertaining, this game might give them a run for their money. The Bills are favored by less than a field goal. Lamar Jackson finally doesn’t have to listen to the dumb narrative that he hasn’t won a playoff game. This whole week, they’ve instead gone with the equally dumb narrative that he’s never won a game in snow. Well, the snow in Buffalo can be brutal, but this storm looks to be mild. I’m rooting for the Bills, but a Rats/Chefs championship honestly sounds more fun.
Browns/Chefs (Sunday, 3:05 EST): Now, for Chris’s answer to my text. He responded with a joke about the Browns winning and him not able to text that with a straight face. I replied, “It’s funny because a lot of the talking heads are picking that game as a possible upset. I think they just did so because there’s literally nothing to lose. You either look like a “genius” or everyone forgets you made the pick. I’m not ready to pick against the Chefs until they give me reason and now that I’ve typed it, I’m jazzed about Rats/Chefs next round.
The Verdict
I said after the Wild Card that I wasn’t as excited about the games as I thought I might be. I barely watched any and tuned out from the Steelers after the first play of the game. However, something about this week’s games must have interested me. I searched for them earlier on Hulu before realizing the games started later today. Good thing they do. I got a chance to write this preview and get even more excited for the games. GB/TB and KC/Bal sound like a fun conference championship weekend.
Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).
