Monthly Archives: October 2019

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 8 Picks

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Introduction

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 8. Hard to believe, but we are halfway through the season right now. There have been a few surprises this year, as there often are. However, the Patriots (eff the Pats) deal with the devil appears to still be binding. Patrick Mahomes got hurt and that gives me one less reason to care about the league.

But, I will continue to pick games each week. That’s how much I care about my nonexistent fans. I haven’t been as diligently keeping track of how well I’ve done overall, but I did get 7 or 8 games right last week. That was quite a nice bounce back from the previous week. Okay, enough chit chat, let’s pick some games for 2019 NFL Week 8.

Toilet Bowls (Terrible Week of Football)

New York Jets at Jacksonville – Seems like every week we have at least one of these games. Both of these teams could cease to exist tomorrow and nobody would even notice. Flip a coin.

Tampa Bay at Tennessee – Is Matt Tannehill still starting for Tennessee? Egad. Tampa Bay it is.

Miami at Pittsburgh – Well, the Steelers will at least win 3 games this year.

Cleveland at New England – This could have been a marquee game if Cleveland lived up to billing. They haven’t. Pats effing roll again It’s 2008 all over again. *sigh*

New York Giants at Detroit – Speaking of 2008, Eli isn’t even playing right now as our last hope against the Patriots. Daniel Jones took a step back last week. At least Detroit hovering around .500 makes Thanksgiving potentially intersting.

Denver at Indianapolis – This game is the perfect modern NFL game. Two middling teams playing in a game that ultimately doesn’t matter. Go Indy?

Seattle at Atlanta– I at least somewhat care about Seattle. Atlanta is awful. That’s all.

If they’re on, I’ll watch (Not really, but I will tune in to check my fantasy team)

Cincinnati at Los Angeles Rams – I’m not sure why this one isn’t in the toilet bowls? I have absolutely no interest in watching this anemic Rams team fool everyone into thinking they’re good by destroying the Bengals.

Arizona at New Orleans – I like the Teddy Bridgewater story. Arizona somehow has 3 wins this year. Maybe this one should be in the “Okay, I’m interested” section. New Orleans wins at home.

Los Angeles Chargers at Chicago – I’ve been all in on the Bears defense since they carried me into the fantasy playoffs last year. They’re a bit worse this year, but I still think they can keep father of the year (he has like 7 votes, so it isn’t fair), Phillip Rivers, in check.

Okay, I’m Interested (Not in much. Like I said, a terrible week of football)

Carolina at San Francisco – I’m not entirely sure why I’m interested in this game. I have nothing invested in either team. I guess, sometimes, you just need to watch for fun. Frisco keeps winning.

Philadelphia at Buffalo – Buffalo has been one of those surprises I mentioned earlier. The NFL is just better when the Bills are good. I hope they can win, but I think Philly clips ’em.

Game of the Week (Even without Mahomes, or especially, I’m rooting for the Chiefs)

Green Bay at Kansas City – Always stuck in the past, I just saw a commercial for this game as a rematch of Super Bowl I (? See, that’s how much it matters. I actually had to look it up because I went 3, then 2, and finally 1) and a possible preview of this year. I don’t know about that last part, but the NFL is nothing if not a hype machine. Even without Mahomes, this could be a good game. I hope the Chiefs pull it out, but think the Packers will be too much for that defense.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Marvel Comics October 2019 Review

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Introduction

Welcome to my review of Marvel Comics October 2019. Please remember that these are only the comics that I am able to purchase for the month. In addition, the shipping schedule from DCBS seems to have changed. As a result, I only have 10 books to review this month.

For the past few months, I’ve been much higher on Marvel comics than DC Comics. I haven’t read or reviewed DC Comics yet this month, but that tide might be turning. The Marvel comics just didn’t blow me away this month like they have been. On that note, let’s dive into Marvel Comics October 2019.

The Forgettable

Look at that cover! This book should be good!

Punisher #15 (Matt Rosenberg and Szymon Kudranski)

Thunderbolts are in this book! Moon Knight, too! Plus Ghost Rider and Black Widow! Many of my favorites and some that are like old friends. This book should be great! Why, then is it the inaugural book in my “forgettable” bucket? I’m not entirely sure. I think I’ve just outgrown the Punisher. I can’t get into this book at all. It might end up on the chopping block for something else.

The Decent (Avengers and Black Panther)

Cosmic Ghost Rider? *sigh*

Avengers #24 (Jason Aaron and Stefano Caselli)

So far, I’ve enjoyed Jason Aaron’s run on Avengers. Even though it didn’t sucker me into the War of the Realms event, I still liked the issues in this series for that event. Ever since the end of that, the issues have been less interesting. The only note I have written for this one is “What the hell is this issue?”

I just can’t get into this story.

Black Panther 16 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Daniel Acuna)

I’ve said many times that I appreciate that they are trying something new with this title. I also understand that not all stories are meant for me. This might be one of them. Because, this story just feels too science fiction for Black Panther. Maybe that sounds weird for a book about a futuristic nation built on a fictional metal. Even so, that’s just the feeling I have as I read. I do like the inclusion of Storm, so maybe things will change soon.

The Good (One Spidey with Carnage, Tony Stark, Venom, and Cap is almost great!)

Glad that this one is getting good again.

Tony Stark Iron Man #16 (Dan Slott, Jim Zub and Valerio Schiti)

I had been considering cutting this one from my pull list. At least, I was going to take it off of my reading list. I didn’t enjoy the Tony relapsing story and the whole virtual world was kind of lame, too. But, Ultron’s back after having fused with Pym and he’s spreading the disease. The main reason I didn’t like this was this version of Tony was insufferable. That’s changed a bit and I like it.

Chris has enjoyed Maximum Carnage. I have passed so far.

Amazing Spider-Man #30 (Nick Spencer and Humberto Ramos)

Of the two issues this month, I enjoyed this one slightly less. It is part of the Maximum Carnage event, so maybe it’s just because I don’t know what is happening there that I didn’t get as much into this issue. It was okay. I just liked #29 better.

Another Maximum Carnage Tie In

Venom #18 (Donny Cates and Iban Coello)

I don’t think the issue with ASM #30 was the Absolute Carnage story. Maybe Nick Spencer just isn’t the writer for this kind of story. Whatever the reason, I liked this issue of Venom better than that book. Another caveat is that I didn’t like this issue of Venom as much as the rest of the series so far. Got all that? Probably not, it’s a bit confusing. In any case, where’s Eddie? Also, where’s the horror? This book is starting to feel more like traditional Venom. Oh well, that Symbiote-tron was pretty frightening.

This book is very close to great.

Captain America #14 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Niko Walter)

This book is so close to being great. This issue nearly knocked it out of the part. Admittedly, I’m one of the minority who liked the way that Secret Empire ended. I have also liked watching Captain America reckon with a country that he barely recognizes. This is most evident in the voice over throughout the book as Cap reminisces about the “good old days”. Also, Nick Fury is back and I’m enjoying the “Daughters of Liberty”. Can’t wait for next month.

The Great (Two New Books and Hulk is slipping?)

World’s Greatest Comic again?

Fantastic Four 14 (Dan Slott and Paco Medina)

At first, I rolled my eyes at the Fantastic Four coming back…again…after having been canceled…again. It’s predictable. Like Flash Point in DC, you know when things are getting slow, it’s going to happen. I hadn’t even read any of them until a couple of months ago. I’m glad I read this one. It felt like Stan the Man’s Fantastic Four with updates. I especially enjoyed the flashbacks to lead into the future. Very well done.

This book is 100% Spidey!

Amazing Spider-Man #29 (Nick Spencer and Francesco Manna)

This issue is 100 % Spidey. It starts with a voice over similar to Captain America. This one is a tongue in cheek look back at how these things keep happening to Spidey over and over. Then, it goes into a scene of Peter and MJ fighting? Oh boy. No, they are just performing a scene. Well played. Aunt May is her strong and silent self. The only indication that this isn’t old Spidey is his sister. Heck, it even ends with a missed chance at a proposal for Peter. Great issue.

Gearing up for 25?

Immortal Hulk #23 (Al Ewing et al)

The story is starting to take shape between the doctor and Hulk. Also, there are some faces from the past that have been nice to see. Even so, the story is dragging a bit. I found myself skimming this issue instead of actually reading it. It might just be because they are setting the stage for #25, which I recently saw is going to be a landmark issue for the title.

The Verdict (Marvel Comics October 2019 are solid)

Overall, the books were strong this month. The only book that I didn’t enjoy at all was The Punisher. Otherwise, I’m excited where Fantastic Four is headed, Spider-Man is solid, Hulk keeps entertaining me, Captain America gets better and better with every month, and Venom and Iron Man are decent titles. I just hope they can keep the momentum with the new books recently announced.

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Spawn 300 End of the Road

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Introduction

The Road to Spawn 300 was littered with pot holes and detours. However, we are finally here. And, I have to say, it was worth the wait. Both Chris and I were obviously excited when we heard that Greg Capullo was going to be back for this issue. We both grew up with him as the main artist.

We were both subsequently disappointed because we had somehow convinced ourselves that he was going to be the artist for longer than just the one issue. When we learned that wasn’t going to be the case, I think I suggested that Uncle Todd should sell his McGwire baseball to hire Capullo back as artist.

At least we get him for the next issue, too. Also, he is doing variant covers for the next two. Maybe there is now an open invitation to to covers whenever he wants. As I said to Chris, hope abounds. Now, for my review of Spawn 300. It isn’t exactly like the DC 1000 issues from last year. He invited some other big names to join him. However, the issue followed continuity instead of shorter vignettes. Even so, I will review each story individually like I did with those books.

Chapter 1 (Todd McFarlane and Greg Capullo)

The Spawn meter is back. What’s up with that? Oh well, like Chris said, Capullo’s art is going to ruin me for the return to the regular artist. Aside from McFarlane, Capullo’s art is the iconic style for Spawn. The story is just more creepy little girl kills her family nonsense, But, Violator shows up and there’s some gratuitous ultra violence at the end to remind us what Spawn’s all about.

Chapter 2 (Scott Snyder and Todd McFarlane)

I enjoyed the story from this chapter much more than the first one. It called back to a previous battle between the two antagonists and what happened when they “disappeared” from sight and into the shadows. This was probably my favorite story from the whole issue. Scott Snyder definitely shows that he’s a more seasoned writer than Uncle Todd in this one.

Chapter 3 (Todd McFarlane and Jason Shawn Alexander)

Another story that attempts to fill some of the gaps. This one is about the former Spawn enemies that he reanimated to fight on his side. As Chris texted, and I agree, the art style of Jason Shawn Alexander just doesn’t fit Spawn as much as we’d like. But, the story was decent and, unlike Chris, I’m going to keep collecting until the book isn’t produced anymore. In spite of being almost 30 years old under essentially the same creative control that whole time, it is still surprisingly fresh. I want to see where Uncle Todd takes us next.

Chapter 4 (Todd McFarlane and J. Scott Campbell)

The art of this chapter is great. J. Scott Campbell really nails the Spawn style. However, the story is lackluster. I just don’t give a crap about She-Spawn or her story. Alas, it looks like she is here to stay, at least for the next couple of issues, so I’ll have to get over that.

Chapter 5 (Todd McFarlane and Jerome Opena)

A teaser that does exactly that. No idea what it is or means, but I’m intrigued to learn more.

The Verdict

I like what Uncle Todd did with Spawn 300. It is a “historic” issue in that it tied the longest running creator owned comic book. It is also a nice round number that comic book nerds love. Instead of choosing to tell small vignettes as Detective and Action did with their historic 1000 issues, he continued continuity while also setting up future stories.

Overall, the strength of the writing is what we’ve come to expect from Spawn all these years. It is disheartening to be going back to Jason Shawn Alexander’s art after seeing the other interpretations of the Spawn style. Again, I like JSA’s art and I actually really enjoyed it for the Dark Horror storyline. However, it just doesn’t look like the Spawn that I remember from my reckless youth. Oh well, put it in the “get over it” bucket with She-Spawn and enjoy the ride. Here’s to another 300!

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 7 Picks

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Introduction

Here we are again. It’s 2019 NFL Week 7. I said last week (or maybe the week before) that the season doesn’t really start until about week 5. Then, I proved my point by picking correctly on most of the games. Well, I followed that success up with a terrible 3-9 or 4-8 week last week. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.

What’s more important is I started my week with a text from Chris that read only “Noooooo, Mahooomes!”. I replied, “Goddamn Belichick and his voodoo.” A student mentioned something about the Madden curse, too. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance. Hopefully he comes back soon and there aren’t any lingering effects from the injury. Let’s get to the 2019 NFL Week 7 picks.

Toilet Bowls (Not the worst of the worst for 2019 NFL Week 7, but there’s some baddies here)

Jacksonville at Cincinnati – Is this game in London? Can it be, please? I have nothing funny or clever to say about this game. This just makes me sad. Jacksonville wins.

LA Rams at Atlanta – At the beginning of the season, I’d have thought that this would be a game of the week contender. Now, both of these teams make me angry. Who knows? Maybe LA uses this game to find their mojo.

LA Chargers at Titans – Chris texted something about the number of Steelers fans at the game. Simmons and Sal made the same observation. I replied that the Chargers have no fans in LA, so the team basically gives tickets away. If you can make it there, you can go to the game. Plus, Matt Tannehill is now starting for the Titans. Go Chargers?

San Francisco at Washington – Frisco has been frisky this year with Jimmy G at the helm. Washington has…not. Maybe karma is finally catching up with the racists. Frisco wins going away.

Oakland at Green Bay – This is a weird game. I’m not sure why, but I honestly can’t fathom that this is actually a game between these two teams. I mean, it feels like a time warp from the late 60s or something. Oh well, Green Bay will probably win.

If They’re On, I’ll Watch (There are some potentially decent games here)

Houston at Indianapolis – This is not one of the aforementioned good games. I guess both of these teams are decent this year. Houston might actually finally even be good after many years of being the “it” team. They could even steal this game.

Arizona at New York Giants – Neither is this a “decent” game by any stretch of the imagination. I’m a bit intrigued by Daniel Jones and think that he can do well against this Arizona defense. I even recommended him as a fantasy pick this week. Go Giants, I guess.

Miami at Buffalo – Miami is ridiculously bad this year. Buffalo is actually pretty decent this year. I mean, they won’t challenge the Patriots, but they could make the playoffs fun, at least. I think they win big time.

New England at New York Jets – The Jets kicked the Cowboys butts last week. Chris and I were texting through the whole game because neither of us could believe it. Lightning won’t strike twice, especially against the Patriots, but maybe I can hope. For the sake of the article, I’m picking the Eff the Pats.

Okay I’m Interested (Not really, but I need three categories of games)

Minnesota at Detroit – I’m not entirely sure why I put this game here. I guess I needed to fill the three categories and for some reason, this was one of the least objectionable games. Vikes win.

Philadelphia at Dallas – Now, this actually feels like it could be a fun game to watch. Both of these teams are sort of middling around right now. The Pokes started off 3-0, though, so there is some potential there. They’re going to have to live up to it if they want to make the playoffs.

New Orleans at Chicago – The Aint’s ain’t been much in the way of ain’t this year. Teddy Bridgewater came right in and has filled in nicely for Drew Brees. The Chicago defense is very good the last two years. I think New Orleans edges them

Game of the Week (Let’s Go Seattle!)

Baltimore at Seattle – Watched the Sounders win their first playoff game last night. I don’t think that anyone else has a chance in this division other than the Ravens, but I still can live well in schadenfreude if they lose. Seattle used to never lose at home. Let’s hope that holds true here.

The Verdict

Well, overall, there isn’t much here to keep me interested. Thankfully, we have a 3rd birthday party for my niece at the zoo, so that will keep me occupied this week. Next week is Halloween weekend, so no problems there. My streak of not watching NFL football could extend through this year as long as I can keep coming up with excuses.

Note: I forgot to hit submit again. Not that it matters because I don’t think anyone even knows this page exists. But, for the purpose of keeping honest, all picks were made before games were played. Even the Chiefs over Denver, though I always forget to include Thursday. Hey, that’s a great idea! Let’s pick Thursday right now. Vikings roll the Racists.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

On the Tabletop

Throne of Eldraine Notable Cards

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Introduction

Welcome to 2 Guy’s Gaming’s presentation of Throne of Eldraine notable cards. As you know, this isn’t going to be a list of the best or most playable cards from the set. There are plenty of other pages for that. Here’s one if that’s what you’re looking for. Instead, these will be cards that speak to me in one way or another.

I am mostly a Johnny with some Timmy mixed in. Rarely do I rise to the level of Spike unless Chris is kicking my butt over and over again and I need to reassert my manhood. Keep all of that in mind as you read my article about Throne of Eldraine notable cards.

White (You Want Stupid Win Conditions? We’ve Got Stupid Win Conditions)

What even is this card? I don’t know if white is necessarily known for dumb win conditions. What I do know is that I’ve become so conditioned to them that I actually texted Chris about this card with the comment, “Here’s another white card with an insane ‘win the game’ condition.” He replied with, “I’m not even entirely sure what that all means.” I’m positive that if I played this card in paper, I’d miss the win trigger every single time. Still, the stories I’d be able to tell.

Honorable Mention – I do love an arrest card. This one isn’t as good as my favorite, Pacifism, because of the condition. However, it is pretty close. Plus, that flavor text is a win.

Blue (Magic is a fun game. You should play it sometime)

No Spell for You! – I’m, at my heart, a blue mage. Counterspells are my all time favorite cards in Magic the Gathering. One of the reasons I can’t enjoy Hearthstone is that there is only one counterspell and it isn’t even satisfying to cast. I’m happiest when my opponent concedes after the 5th or 6th counterspell. Chris might be right. I might be a sick individual.

Honorable Mention – In addition to counterspells, I also like big, dumb, slow, pretty much unplayable blue cards, too. What can I say, I’m complicated.

Black (Seriously, Magic is fun. Why aren’t you playing?)

What’s not to love? This is a terrible murder card with the awful upside of creating a Food token. This card is just dumb. That is why I love it. Besides, that flavor text is frigging hilarious.

Honorable Mention – Do you want to make a terrible reanimator deck? Of course you do! Well, have I got the card for you!

Red (Pew, Pew?)

1.21 Gigawatts! Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to pick an adventure card. But, I was thinking. If I cast the adventure portion and then the creature portion, the creature goes on the stack first. Does that mean that I can target the creature with the buff? Let’s break Magic!

Honorable Mention – Can this card be broken? Probably not. That stipulation that you can only cast two spells per turn is pretty limiting. I just texted Chris something about this and Experimental Frenzy being a jank ass combo. However, I don’t think it is what I hoped it would be. Oh well, this dream is just a meme.

Green (Where are my big stompy dinos?)

What is this playable nonsense? When I first saw this card, I texted to Chris that it seemed straight busted. We both agreed that it could be banned in Modern. That doesn’t appear to be true. So, I guess I’m just sharing that story as more evidence that I’m terrible at this game and shouldn’t be trusted.

Yay, recursion! Okay, I know for a fact that you can use this card to make mana to cast itself. It is completely superfluous. But, that’s how I sometimes like my Magic. Hopefully I pull this card when Chris and I draft because I’m making that happen.

Multicolored (I missed Garruk)

Welcome Back, Big Man. Ridiculous slow casting cost? Check. Possibly unattainable ultimate? Check. Welcome back, Garruk. I, for one, missed you and can’t wait to cheat this out in my Gx ramp stompy deck in Legacy cubes.

The Verdict

I couldn’t come up with an honorable mention for Multicolored and nothing in colorless really jumps out at me. The carriage is a really bad card. The spinning wheel is fun for the lore aspect. But, none of the cards really speaks to me.

Overall, as Chris and I have texted a couple of times, the set looks like a lot of fun. I can’t wait to get together with him to draft and build my latest Frankenstein’s monster of 5 color good stuff to beat him with. Thanks for reading my Throne of Eldraine notable cards article. See you in three months for the next set!

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COMPLETELY IGNORANT 2019 NFL Week 6 Picks

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Introduction – Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 6

Good morning and Happy Sunday! Welcome to my 2019 NFL Week 6 picks column. Well, I just did the post mortem for last week and it’s better than I thought. I went 7-5-1 (8-5-1 if you count the Thursday game, but I won’t this week), which isn’t too bad and depending on how I allocated funds, could have made me money. Week 5 is definitely when teams start to take things seriously.

This week’s games aren’t terrible, but they’re definitely along the line of “apple pickers” as I heard Simmons and Sal call them a few times. It just so happens that we are scheduled to go apple picking today, so it was considerate of the NFL to have such terrible games this week. I mean, I wasn’t watching either way, but it’s nice when the universe conspires for you instead of against you. Let’s make some picks for 2019 NFL Week 6.

Toilet Bowls

Dallas at New York Jets – I struggled with where to put this game. I am mildly interested in the game, but I don’t honestly think I’d watch it even if it was on the television. So, in the toilet bowl it goes. After dropping last week, the Pokes need a win. Bring on the Jets!

Atlanta at Arizona – I got caught up in a bit of Atlanta hype at the beginning of the year. They cured that completely with last week’s debacle. I have a friend who lives in Atlanta and with the Braves losing, the Falcons stinking, and UGA losing last night, I’m a bit worried about him. Hope Atlanta United can redeem them some. Maybe the Braves win this one?

Pittsburgh at San Diego (Los Angeles Chargers) – The Steelers stink. The Chargers are boring. Maybe the natives in Pittsburgh, who inexplicably don’t like Mike Tomlin will get their wish. The Steelers have traditionally not been quick to fire, but maybe it will make those miserable f**ks happy. Of course it won’t. They’re miserable as a rule. What I’m trying to say here, is 1-15 isn’t out of the question.

Washington at Miami – I mean, wow. Would you look at that word smithery? I considered writing for a living. I think that sentence alone shows that I am overqualified for the position. Seriously, if Shannon Sharpe can get a TV gig as a talking head, then I can be a writer. What the hell was I talking about? Washington and Miami? Who gives a crap? Let’s say this game survives the eventual apocalypse as an exhibit of our civilization. The aliens who eventually find it will correctly conclude that we are better off for having exterminated ourselves. I hope Miami wins because of the stupidity of the Washington nickname.

If They’re On, I’ll Watch

Cincinnati at Baltimore – Seems like both Baltimore and Cleveland want to win the division. Simultaneously, it seems like neither Baltimore nor Cleveland want to win the division. One will win it by default because both Pittsburgh and Cincy stink this year.

Tennessee at Denver – In the interest of full disclosure, this could have gone in the toilet bowls. However, I was trying to space the games out better for reading purposes. I give no craps about this game. I guess Tennessee wins because I have a Facebook friend that likes them.

New Orleans at Jacksonville – I’m intrigued by New Orleans with Teddy Ballgame as their QB. A friend also made the point that Jacksonville’s new QB is like Keanu Reeves from The Replacements. That alone is enough to get me to tune in. Aint’s win.

San Francisco at Los Angeles Rams – If the Rams were actually what they were last year, this would be in the “must watch” category. Since they’re not and I’m completely off the Jimmy G-sus bandwagon for now, I’ll watch it if it’s on but won’t go out of my way. Maybe the Rams finally get back on track.

Okay, I’m Interested

Houston at Kansas City – Indianapolis shocked the world by beating KC in the most unlikely of ways. Usually, we see the Chefs get betrayed by their defense, but their offense let them down. This might be a good game, but it’s in KC, so I gotta pick the Chefs.

Seattle at Cleveland – Even though Baker has been a bit of a dud this year and OBJ looks washed up, I’m still on Cleveland. As long as they hang with the Ravens for the division, I’ll be on them. Let’s go Browns!

Philadelphia at Minnesota – This got consideration for game of the week. The Vikings defense is next level and Philly can be entertaining. However, I’m more interested in the TB/Carolina game this week, so Philly/Minnesota gets honorable mention. I think the Vikes win this one.

Game of the Week

Carolina at Tampa Bay (but really in London?) – I could look up if this is really in London or not. But, I don’t want to and you can’t make me. I will assume by the start time that it is. Wow, how did this game end up in London? The NFL must have made a mistake. Either way, I’m gonna go out on a limb and take Tampa Bay.

The Verdict

2019 NFL Week 6 isn’t terrible. It has possibly the worst game in a decade on the schedule. Otherwise, the games are passable to decent. I hope to build on last week’s momentum and keep being successful going forward. Enjoy your football everyone. See you again next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant NFL Week 5 2019 Picks

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Introduction

So, I picked Week 1, never followed up, picked week 3, and never followed up. Now we are at the NFL Week 5 2019. Honestly, though, I treat the first four weeks of the season like the players do. Ever since preseason was shortened and summer practices are less intense, the first four weeks are like an unofficial preseason. Week 5 is when the season really starts.

In following with Simmons and Sal (I know, big shock, right?), I’m going to split the games into categories. There are a million early Sunday games, almost no late games, and one Monday game, as usual. So, it doesn’t make sense to batch them by time. Without further ado, let’s start this season over with NFL Week 5 2019 picks.

Toilet Bowls

Jets at Eagles – Jesus, that’s how little I care about these games. I just did an entire preview on the Jaguars playing in this game. Most of what I said in that can be repeated and the payoff is the same. If the Eagles hope to hang with the Pokes this year, they need to destroy the Jets.

Jags at Panthers – I heard that there’s a London game this week. It’s gotta be the Jags, right? We always send the Jags and the Raiders to London and then wonder why the UK can’t get into American football. Oh, it’s not this game? Still, a potentially terrible game. Panthers better roll if they have any hopes of hanging with the Bucs and Aints this year.

Falcons at Texans – I was high on the Falcons to start the season. However, it would appear that Matt Ryan has forgotten how to play American football. Who knew that Kyle Shanahan was that good of a coach. I guess I’ll take the Texans because they’re at home.

Cardinals at Bengals – If Miami didn’t exist, these two teams would be the worst teams in the league. This is a true definition of a toilet bowl. I hope the Cards win just to extend the Bungles misery.

If they’re on, I’ll watch

Vikings at Giants – This is a game that might have interested me more later in the season. It all depends on how the rookie Giants quarterback performs over the next few weeks. As it is, this Viking defense is solid, so I think they contain the kid.

Patriots at Racists – Well, Buffalo almost pulled of the miracle win last week against the Patriots as I golfed with a bunch of Pats fans. 2 years ago I watched as the Panthers beat them in the same situation. None of that matters here, but I’m having trouble mustering much of an interest in a game where the Pats roll.

Bears at Raiders: Okay, so I wasn’t completely wrong about the possible London game because the Raiders are in it. The Bears defense is solid and I still can’t get behind whatever it is that the Raiders are doing. Bears win.

Browns at 49ers: This might actually be a good game. Imagine going back a couple of years to say that to your past self. They’d have you locked in a loony bin. I mean, that might happen anyway because you’re claiming to be from the future, but never mind that. I’m not as fond of the Browns as I was at the beginning of the year. Still, I think they can win this.

Broncos at Chargers: What even is this game? Why even is this game? I would have put this into the toilet bowls, but I would probably watch it if it was actually on a television near me. No, I wouldn’t. It belongs with the toilet bowls. Who knows? Flip a coin.

Okay, I’m Interested

Buccaneers at Saints: This is rapid overreaction, but the Bucs looked like they had a ton of fun last week. The Aints haven’t missed much of a beat with Teddy Bridgewater in there. I think the Aints can win at home.

Bills at Titans: So, a couple of years ago Chris and I were texting during a game that the Bills were beating the Patriots. They messed up by fumbling a kickoff or something like that to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My comment: “That’s why you’re the Bills.” Now, it would appear that they might be for real. I think they win.

Colts at Chiefs: I might be off the Baker bandwagon right now. The new kid for the Giants hasn’t done enough to register on my radar. But, Patrick Mahomes, my original man crush of the younger QB generation is still out there turning heads. I’m not sure what to think about the Colts, but I think the Chiefs keep rolling.

Packers at Cowboys; The Pokes have a good defense and a decent offense that is a bit hamstrung by having Dak Prescott at quarterback. The Packers have Aaron Rodgers. You shouldn’t bet against Rodgers, but I just think the Pokes win this one at home.

Game of the Week

Ravens at Steelers: I won’t say that I’m happy that Big Ben got hurt. But, I’m not all that heartbroken about it. He’s a scumbag and one of the reasons that I just can’t root for the Steelers with the same passion I did when I was younger. This game could go poorly for them with a young QB against the Ravens, but they can win this one. They will need to if they have any hopes of doing anything this year.

The Verdict

Overall, NFL Week 5 2019 isn’t gangbusters. The Steelers/Ravens game would usually be enough to get me excited, but I’m just having trouble mustering anything but resignation that the Patriots are just going to win the whole damn thing again. Eff the Pats.

Note: I realized that I wrote this and then never hit publish. That’s a new one for me. Know, though, that it was written before the games happened. See you next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Marvel Comics September 2019 Review

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Introduction

Welcome to my Marvel Comics September 2019 Review article. I mentioned in my previous article about DC Comics last month that it looks like Chris and I finally are on to something when it comes to predicting the doom and gloom of comic books. We have both been talking about it for at least 3 years. I will talk about it more in a couple of weeks when I finally get caught up with this month’s comics, but it is affecting my Marvel books more than my DC, it seems.

That’s a true shame. As you will see soon, I am almost 100% back to my Marvel zombie roots. I have 5 books in the “Great” column and 6 in the “good” and “decent” column combined. So, you can safely call me a mark or stan or just a zombie like I called myself and I will have no valid argument against it. I don’t care. I just think that Marvel is doing a great job with their books.

The Great (Too Many to List Individually/Marvel Comics September 2019 lineup is so strong)

I get that this is being a Doctor Strange fan, but I’m gonna miss you again Doc.

Doctor Strange 17 and 18 (Mark Waid, Barry Kitson, and Jesus Saiz)

I’m pretty sure this is probably the most controversial pick of my greats. People hate Mark Waid. I can’t blame them. He’s said some stupid things in his own defense. However, none of them are relevant to me because I’m not one of these Comicsgate (or whatever the hell that stupid thing is/was called) dingbats. I like how he writes and he has mostly done a good job with Strange. Stay mad, nerds.

The new Ghost Rider is fantastic.

Avengers 22 and 23 (Jason Aaron and Stefano Caselli)

Like Doctor Strange with the previous story, things got a little slow in Avengers when Jason Aaron was presenting the War of the Realms. However, the epilogue issue and these two have been as strong as the issues right after the Legacy reboot. This is an Avengers team that I hope lasts at least a couple of more years.

So glad we are back to old fashioned Spidey.

Amazing Spider-Man 27 and 28 (Nick Spencer and Kev Walker)

Okay, maybe this is the one “great” choice that would be considered most controversial. After all, this one contains two things that Comicsgate nerds hate, Nick Spencer and women. Yeah, I’m intentionally starting crap with a potentially dead “controversy”. Hey, I’m not above a little manufactured beef to goose readership. With all that being said, I love the all female Sinister Six (or whatever they’re calling themselves) and Spidey is the Spidey I remember.

Wasn’t sure about Absolute Carnage, but Chris assures me it’s good, so I’ll have to grab the trade.

Venom 17 (Donny Cates and Iban Coello)

Venom has consistently been my second favorite book behind Immortal Hulk. I’ve enjoyed the horror vibe that Donny Cates has brought. I wasn’t sure about the retcon (if that’s what it is) of the symbiote, but it has been an okay storyline. Also, the introduction of Eddie’s kid has helped to explain some of his back story. Overall, a solid book.

Simply amazing…

Immortal Hulk 22 (Al Ewing and Joe Bennett)

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, but there are two books that have been consistently great since both companies rebooted a couple of years ago. Justice League Dark for DC Comics and this one for Marvel. I’m running out of ways to praise this book. All comic books should be like this one.

The Good (Black Panther, Captain America, and Tony Stark, oh my?)

I am Iron Man?

Tony Stark Iron Man 15 (Dan Slott and Jim Zub)

This book is written by one of my favorite writer’s and drawn by one of my favorite artists. It’s just been too inconsistent. I don’ t like Tony by himself. Because I like the Tony Stark in Avengers so much more because there’s a buffer. I didn’t like the Tony as alcoholic storyline even if it was only virtual. But, this book does have potential. I hope they find it.

Gorgeous. I love Alex Ross covers.

Captain America 12 and 13 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Adam Kubert)

I don’t know if it was intended, but putting Ta-Nehisis Coates on Captain America was a perfect troll move by Marvel. The story of America reckoning with Captain America after Hydra has mirrored reality, sometimes a bit too much for my tastes. That’s the only thing keeping this book from being great. I just can’t handle how real it is sometimes.

Maybe I need to be more open minded about this one.

Black Panther 14 and 15 (Ta Nehisi Coates and Daniel Acuna)

I waited quite a while to finally experience Ta-Nehisi Coates on Black Panther. I like the things he has to say. Black Panther has always been one of my favorite characters. However, this storyline of the Intergalactic Empire of Wakanda just doesn’t speak to me. Maybe it isn’t for me. Even so, I do enjoy the book.

The Decent (World’s Greatest?, Too old for an anti-hero?, and The God of Thunder)

A cool call back to the original #12…

Fantastic Four 12 and 13 (Dan Slott and Sean Izaakse)

I got excited for the Fantastic Four to be coming back in their original form. However, as many of these comics have shown, be careful what you wish for. That’s not to say that the book is bad. Far from it. It has just suffered from the curse of high expectations. I do like that they called back to the original books with this cover, so maybe things will turn around. Hey, like I said, I’m not above shameless cross promotion.

Oh, poor Frank Castle. First his family is gunned down. Now, I might just be abandoning him.

The Punisher 14 (Matthew Rosenberg and Szymon Kudranski)

Like most disaffected teenage boys, I found solace in the story of Frank Castle. It was dark, gritty, angry, and full of guns going “pew, pew”. Like most disaffected teenage boys who grow up, I think I might be outgrowing Mr. Frank Castle. I just can’t get into his methods and his anger no longer resonates. Like Deadpool, he might need to grow up a bit for me to jump back on board.

God of Thunder and All-Father? Mjolnir’s Back? Should be good stuff. Well….

Thor 16 (Jason Aaron and Mike Del Mundo)

First, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I don’t like the art of this book. It just doesn’t work for me. Usually, I like Jason Aaron. I do like his Avengers. But, this book just doesn’t do it for me. I’m not sure entirely what it is missing, but Mjolnir wasn’t it. Like I said in a previous article, War of the Realms just seemed like an overly complicated way for him to get the hammer back. Maybe I was just bitter because I liked what Endgame did with the story.

The Verdict (Marvel Comics September 2019 is in good shape)

I can’t repeat how much I enjoyed the Marvel books for this month. Even the books that I didn’t enjoy that much were fun. Any one of the books can easily make the jump from decent to good or even to great with some TLC. Thanks for reading my Marvel Comics September 2019 review and come back in a couple of weeks for October!

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DC Comics September 2019 Review

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Introduction

Welcome to my comic book review for DC Comics September 2019. The comics are technically from my August DCBS order, so that makes this about a month late. Unlike past articles, I’m not going to fill this introduction will a lot of excuses and self deprecating humor. I will explain that the beginning of the school year has hit me harder than I expected, but I’m in a bit of a groove now. My hopes of making semi-regular posts by the end of the year looks quite promising.

So, Chris and I have been regularly talking about the demise of comics. Previously, as you surely know, we have been completely and utterly wrong. More recently, however, it seems as if we might be on to something. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that my DCBS order was very light. Upon research, I found that several books have been canceled and Chris confirmed that many others are being delayed. Peculiar, to say the least. Stay tuned to see if comics are indeed on the way to extinction.

The Great (Justice League Dark Remains, Batman is Back!)

Bane is breaking the Bat again, but in very different ways this time.

Batman 76 and 77 ( Tom King, Tony S. Daniel, and Mikel Janin)

Tom King clearly got too comfortable on Batman. Look, I get that not every issue can be fire, but the more recent issues have been the polar opposite of fire. It was all I could do to not just skip the issues entirely. City of Bane started to pick up until Chris texted me about these issues. I read 76, then texted him back about needing a break before reading 77. I’m glad I took one. Like Chris said, King knew he was on the way out and he is pulling no punches. Jesus.

Seriously, if you’re not reading this book, shame on you.

Justice League Dark 14 (James Tynion IV and Alvaro Marinez Bueno)

Regular readers of the page know that this is my favorite DC book and it isn’t even close. Broken Record Alert: (say it along with me, take a shot, shout BINGO!, whatever you do when a common phrase is uttered) Like Immortal Hulk for Marvel, there hasn’t been a bad issue of this book. It has just consistently brought the quality. I love the team. The stories have been entertaining. If all comics were like this and Hulk, Chris and I wouldn’t have to worry about their inevitable collapse.

The Good (Aquaman might be great, same with Catwoman, Wonder Woman and Justice League are inconsistent)

This book is dangerously close to cracking the great section. Who would have ever thunk it?

Aquaman 51 (Kelly Sue DeConnick and Robson Rocha)

I enjoyed Aquaman right after the Rebirth. Things got a bit slow right before the 50th issue. I know that comics cares about round numbers and that they usually have a bit of a lull before the big numbers. Still, I would have liked for the consistency to be there. I’m telling you, if this keeps up, Aquaman will be up there soon.

Maybe I will be able to get over myself and move Cats up there, too.

Catwoman 14 (Ram V and Mirka Andolfo)

I got into Catwoman after the big wedding fiasco mainly to show my support for the controversial ending. I fell in love with the book because I liked the way that Joelle Jones handled the character. She did a good job. I’m not as big a fan of Ram V’s version, but it is still okay. this latest issue was very good. If I can ever get over my Joelle bias, perhaps there will be multiple books in the great section.

Are things starting to turn around?

Justice League 29 and 30 (Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, and Bruno Redondo)

I was pretty down on Justice League for a while there. I just couldn’t get into what Snyder was trying to do. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Snyder as a writer, but I just wasn’t in to the whole source wall story. That might be changing. It appears that there is finally going to be a payoff for all of that with the Justice League/Legion of Doom War.

Another book that suffers from some inconsistency.

Wonder Woman 76 and 77 (G. Willow Wilson and Lee Garbett)

As part of my comics reading, I have been keeping up on the DC Giants that used to have Walmart exclusivity, but no longer do. Speaking of the Giants, I’m going to do a review of the latest issues sometime this week (hopefully Saturday). As far as this book is concerned, it’s been up and down. Right now, it is up. Hopefully they can continue.

The Decent (Honestly, I could do without Action and Detective Comics)

A cornerstone of DC Comics with one of the superstars of writing = meh.

Action Comics 1014 (Brian Michael Bendis and Szymon Kudranski)

I was excited when I heard that Bendis was coming to DC. I was slightly less excited when I learned that he was going to retool Superman. Superman is probably my least favorite superhero. However, I gave it a chance and the initial limited series was good. Some of the follow up was decent, too. Then came Leviathan. I had no use for that story. This one is better than that, but they sold it on the Red Cloud, who is barely even in the book.

Tynion left. Boo.

Detective Comics 1009 and 1010 (Peter J. Tomasi and Christian Duce)

I was upset when Tynion left this title. Still haven’t gotten over it. I just can’t get into what Tomasi is trying to do with this title. Seeing Mr. Freeze on the cover of this one was exciting. However, similar to Action Comics, he’s barely even in the book. Maybe that will change as it seems like they are setting something up. I hope so because this used to be my favorite book.

The Verdict (DC Comics September 2019 is more good than bad)

As I just said in the title, DC Comics September 2019 is more good than bad. Certainly, it is better than some recent months. Batman is great, which could go either way when Tom King departs. Justice League Dark will be good until Tynion eventually leaves like he always does. I would make a missing dad joke here, but I don’t see how they are funny.

The rest of the books ping pong between good and decent from month to month. Aquaman and Catwoman are threatening “great” status. Wonder Woman could get there, too, with a few good months. The real bummer is that their two marquee titles are not very good at all. I haven’t read Marvel yet, so I can’t compare the two companies this article. Look for that in my Marvel review on Friday.