Monthly Archives: February 2021

Digital Playground

Cards I Love: Kaldheim Miscellaneous Edition

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Introduction

In the first two articles of our Kaldheim review, we saw some underwhelming Esper cards and terrible red cards with a side of decent value greens. Now, we move on to multicolored and artifact cards. Sometimes I also choose land cards. Hence, the name Kaldheim miscellaneous edition.

Since we all know my aversion to Snow Covered lands, there will be no discussion of lands in this review

As I looked through the list of cards to write the article, I noticed multicolored sage enchantments. I texted Chris to ask if they existed before this set. He couldn’t remember seeing them before. Now, if someone paid me to do this job I might actually research this. Since nobody pays me, we have to live with my wild speculation and conjecture.

After all, isn’t that more fun? There are so many other pages out there that will give you accurate and helpful information. We here at 2 Guys Gaming pride ourselves in focusing on the fun aspect of nerd culture. Come have some fun with me analyzing Kaldheim miscellaneous cards

Multicolored (Saga!, Planeswalker that made people big mad, and a Tiny Leader)

Multicolored Saga I Love: I just lied. I don’t actually love this card. In fact, out of all of the sagas in the set, this one is probably the most trash. Truth be told, I don’t love any of the sagas in this set. I love the multicolored border. If they’re all trash, why not pick the most trash of them to highlight that fact?

Multicolored Tiny Leader I Love: I love this card. You may remember me saying in the past that I consider myself a Commander player who hasn’t played much Commander. I now own a couple of Commander decks now, at least. I have played quite a bit of Tiny Leader, though, and prefer that format. It’s just so much easier putting together a deck of 50 as opposed to 100 cards. Usually Chris does these Johnny Combo type equipment decks, but I’d like to give it a shot with this guy.

Multicolored Planeswalker I Love: Technically, I lied again. I don’t love this card. It’s fine and I’m sure it has a home somewhere. It’s just not my style of UW card. Too much damage and not enough fun police. I love that Niko is nonbinary and that irritated some people. With the Potato Head reaction, people are just way too concerned with the non-existent genitals of fictional characters.

Land I Love

The World Tree: Last time, I promise. I lied again. Looking at the artifact card, I found none that impressed me. Instead, I decided to look at the lands. But, not the snow covered lands. Eff those things. Somehow I forgot about this card in spite of the fact that I texted Chris about it when I first saw it spoiled. I said, “Put this in my ‘Potentially broken card that will get repeatedly played against me on MTGA and get full value every time”. See Sanctum of All.

The Verdict (Kaldheim miscellaneous cards finish the underwhelming review)

So far, other than for collecting, I don’t see a need to buy any Kaldheim product. I collect more than play at this point, so I will purchase my usual set/bundle combo at some point. Hearthstone is releasing a new set and I play that much more than MTG at this point, so I will buy some cards there first, pay for my March DCBS order, and then think about finally dropping money on Kaldheim.

Spoiler images courtesy of Mythic Spoiler. Check them out for all your MTG spoiler needs.

On the Tabletop

Cards I love: Kaldheim Gruul Edition

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Introduction

In my previous article, I came to the conclusion that my assessment of Kaldheim as a lackluster set was correct. Seeing as how those are my favorite colors in MTG, I don’t see anything changing in this article. Nevertheless, in the name of journalism and completionism, join me as I review Kaldheim Gruul Edition. Perhaps I will call it Christmas edition.

No. I feel weird calling it “Christmas edition” two months later.

Red used to be a minor nuisance to me. Now, I actively hate the color and feel rage building behind my temples when I see a mountain played. I texted Chris about my irrational disdain for snow lands. He correctly chastised me for my irrationality. “They’re lands…covered in snow.” He replied.

While I can’t explain the snow lands thing, my hatred for red is organic. Being a blue mage, red is a natural enemy color. Furthermore, all the try hard kids on MTGA play red. Every now and then they slip by my defenses (or I draw a seemingly infinite number of lands and/or uncastable cards). Most of the time, I destroy them and feel great about it. With all of that being said, I promise to be unbiased and choose some great Kaldheim Gruul edition cards.

Red (Tuskeri, Treasures, and Trickeration!)

Mechanic Spotlight (Tuskeri Firewalker): I said in the last article that I try to highlight the keywords included in any set. Boast is sort of like Raid from Ixalan in that you have to attack with a creature to trigger it. Of the cards with Boast in red, this one is the best, which should give you an idea of how terrible the mechanic actually is.

Honorable Mention (Goldspan Dragon): Chris texted about this card during spoiler season. Not a surprise as he is our resident dragoon guy. I responded, “That’s a damn red questing beast!” While not quite on that power level, I have had it played against me in MTGA. It is a problem if you don’t remove it quickly.

Red Card I Love (Tibalt’s Trickery): I truly love this card. It does blue things by countering a spell. It also does black things by milling cards. Then, it cascades into potentially stupid and broken things. The first time someone played this card against me, I refused to read it, simply waiting to see if I had to concede against this stupid combo. My opponent bricked, I won the game, and then I went searching for the potential of the card.

Green (Praetor, Poison and Ptroll – the P is silent)

Honorable Mention (Old-Growth Troll): In keeping with the theme of this set, the writers of this card made their money. Okay, okay, I promise to stop beating that dead horse. Seriously, though, FNM (if they ever happen again) matches are all going to go to time because people need to read the cards. I like this card because it does just about everything that green wants to do.

Honorable Mention (Vorinclex, Monstrous Raider): I texted Chris when I saw this card, “Looks like Praetors are back.” Well, I was partially right. One praetor is back. One is enough to continue the conversation. “Thank goodness they decided Phyrexian mana was a mistake.” Granted, they walked back other decisions in an attempt to make them more “fair”. Eldrazi, Part 2 anyone?

Green Card I Love (Fynn, the Fangbearer): Speaking of Phyrexia and annoying old mechanics that I hoped never to see again, I actually hate this card. When someone first played it against me, I texted Chris (of course), poison is back in Kaldheim. He expressed surprise and I texted him a copy of the card. First time, I never drew removal. Congrats to that person on their well earned win. /s Ever since, I’ve had removal and this guy folds like a cheap card table. Once I even stole it and used it against my opponent.

The Verdict (Kaldheim Gruul edition plays out as you’d expect)

Red cards stink. Green cards have some utility and can be fun. I doubt I will actually play any of them. Right now my only deck with Red and Green is a Historic sacrifice Jund deck that I only use to complete quests on MTGA. But, I did my diligence and wrote the article. Don’t say I never did anything for you all.

Spoiler images courtesy of Mythic Spoiler. Check them out for all your MTG spoiler needs.

On the Tabletop

Cards I Love Kaldheim: Esper Edition

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Introduction

Do you want to say it? Or, should I? I guess I have the floor. I will say it. What’s this? Actual gaming content on this gaming web page? Yeah, I know. Cheap joke. I still chuckle every time I write it. Okay, with the silliness over, I can concentrate on Kaldheim: Esper edition preview.

An NFL/MTG crossover set seems ambitious. Oh, not those kind of Vikings?

Well, maybe just a little bit more of silliness. If you’re new here, don’t fret. I promise we offer more than terrible Dad jokes. Admittedly, not much more, but this article reviews white, black, and blue cards for the latest Magic the Gathering set, Kaldheim. It comes after the set already released for several reasons. I apologize for that.

Instead of rehashing those reasons in detail (mostly that school keeps kicking my butt on a weekly basis), let’s concentrate on the positive. Of the recent releases, Kaldheim grabbed my interest the least. I have not embraced the lore of Vikings as much as the average geek. You probably expect me to say, “Boy, was I wrong.” Usually when I set it up like that, I then respond with the opposite. However, the truth is that I’m basically holding out for the MTG/D&D set. In the meantime, join me as I take a look at Kaldheim Esper edition.

White (A Wrath, Exile, and Big Butt Oxen, Oh My!)

Honorable Mention (Giant Ox): An ox with a giant butt that can pilot vehicles? How can I not pick this card as one of my favorites from the set? That answer, of course, is that I can’t not pick it. This card is so much fun that I just committed a double negative on its behalf.

Honorable Mention (Divine Gambit): Regular readers of the page know that I often speak out against the fun police. This represents a do as I say and not as I do situation. I absolutely love playing the fun police. Therefore, I allow nobody else to play this strategy.

White Card I Love (Doomskar): I usually try to highlight some of the new mechanics with my picks. This one has Fortell, which is probably my favorite new mechanic from this set. I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining it since they literally wrote it on the card. Chris and I both agree that the designers got paid by the word in this set.

Blue (Draw Cards, Punish Timmies, and Storm Crow?)

Honorable Mention (Alrund, God of the Cosmos and Hakka, Whispering Raven): Speaking of getting paid by the word. There’s eight words in the name of this card alone. Aside from that, you said, “You’re not usually one for god cards.” That’s true. Chris is our Spike/Timmy and he goes for the god and dragon cards. I just couldn’t resist having “Storm Crow” in my review article.

Honorable Mention (Icebind Pillar): I just said to Chris yesterday, “I don’t know why, but snow lands trigger me terribly.” I feel like he lost some respect for me after I said that. That’s neither here nor there, of course. I like this card because it messes with other people’s plans. It’s no Winter Orb. But it can make for a bad day for the occasional Timmy that sneaks one big creature by my counterspells and removal.

Blue Card I Love (Behold the Multiverse): This is probably my favorite card from the entire set. It fortells. Scries. Draws cards. In a standard where blue cards blue, this one probably blues the hardest. Granted, the requisite 1BB counterspell exists and that also fortells. However, that fortell is much less versatile in my opinion. Hence, this cards gets the edge.

Black (Can this be reduced? An enchantment? A good card?)

Honorable Mention (Blood on the Snow): I wish this card got mana reduced with devotion or something. I know that isn’t a mechanic in this set, but they have gods. They could easily break the rules. They have in more recent sets. Yes, I realize that would make this card extremely broken. That hasn’t stopped them. Oh well, it’s still a symmetric wrath that I want to see the animation on MTGA.

Honorable Mention (Draugr Necromancer): In keeping with my theme of “I wish”, I wish this card was an enchantment. Again, I know that makes it terribly broken. Isn’t it about time that black gets a completely broken card that they threaten to ban before it’s even released?

Black Card I Love (Withercrown): I really don’t love this card. I just hate it the least out of all of the black cards in this set. I mean, I’ve seen some stupid combos out of black in this set, but I’m not a combo player. I’d rather just kill you with a thousand cuts from a thousand pieces of paper. Yes, I’m sadistic when it comes to MTG. But, you already knew that.

The Verdict (Kaldheim Esper edition cards are mostly underwhelming)

I think the only Esper card I’ve played from the set with any regularity is Behold the Multiverse. As I just said, I have seen some combos with the Tergrid cards. Also, I got got by double vision and the card that makes 1/1s and gives you extra turns. I just don’t like playing combo decks. The point is that some of you out there might find some cards that you enjoy better. That’s the great thing about MTG and the reason it’s still going after over 25 years. There’s something there for every play style. Join me in a couple of days for the Gruul cards from the set.

Spoiler images courtesy of Mythic Spoiler. Check them out for all your MTG spoiler needs.

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DC Future State February 2021: Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Technically, all of these books released in January. But, you know what you get here at 2 Guys Gaming. I’m not part of the comics media elite (yet, and I may never be, but hope springs eternal), so I order my books from Discount Comic Book Service and they arrive all in a big box at the end of each month. And, so, you read the general review of the first month of books DC Future State February 2021 instead.

If I’m completely honest, and I usually am, I considered calling this “Month One” instead of February 2021 to cover up my deficiencies. Delightfully devilish indeed, Seymour.

I originally planned to review each book individually as I do for all of my comic reviews. That plan is unfeasible for a couple of reasons. One, there are a ton of books (my order doubled for this month) and I only give myself a week to read and review the books. Two, none of the books have been very good so far.

I ran the gamut when it came to opinions of Future State. Initially, when I thought DC planned to use it as a reboot, yet again, I met it with my usual cautious optimism. When Chris assured me that DC said it was an event and not a reboot (though that’s looking to be delightfully devilish on their part in retrospect), I jumped all in. I put ever single book on my pull list. I even added a few variant covers by mistake. Now that I read a few of the books, put me on the (spoiler alert) extremely disappointed list. What makes DC Future State February 2021 so disappointing? I’m glad you asked. Let’s start with the good news first.

The Great

Sorry folks, no great this time. I wager there are more than one or two great books here. They have some of their best writers (Tamaki, V, Jones, Bendis, among others) on the “project”. So, once I get around to reading them on vacation, I might write an amendment to give them their props. Overall, though, as mentioned, the books give me the impression of a failed reboot that they repackaged as an event. It all looks and feels like the next generation reboot that pissed off so many Marvel fans about a decade ago now.

As I wrote to Chris, nerds are a fickle bunch.

I, personally, would have more respect for them if they just powered through the awkwardness of another reboot until the books got good again. You know it would happen eventually. The hard core collectors would keep collecting because they’d be afraid of missing out. The lovers like me and Chris would grab the books that held our attention and eventually found new books to enjoy. The casual fan (haha), if they still exist, would pop in here and there. Who knows, you might even expand your audience. Again, I mock, haha. Instead, we’re met with this mealy mouthed “event” in which nothing really happens.

That can be forgiven when Bendis writes for a title for 3 or 4 years. There’s bound to be lulls in the story. But, when you give these characters 2 or 4 books in which to be introduced and possibly concluded? Those books had better be damn good. And, quite frankly, they just aren’t.

The Good

Marketing – I often say that I’m not very susceptible to marketing. I say it almost as much as I say that I don’t hate Tom Brady. Both come out of my mouth (and virtual mouth) enough that you may think that I’m compensating. Chris has said as much on numerous occasions. Honestly, that may be partly true.

Mostly, I repeat myself because I don’t know which post might lead someone to the page. Therefore, I feel the need to explain myself on as many articles as possible so people know what they’re in for. To make a long story short…

Even though I generally feel like I don’t respond to marketing, of course I do. It’s just that marketing needs to be tailored exactly for me. DC accomplished that with Future State admirably. I went from not caring and maybe picking up a few titles that interested me to ordering every single title they published. Well played, DC.

The Decent

The Stories: I don’t mean to imply that the books are bad. They’re not. Admittedly, at this writing, I’ve only read three of them. However, the overall trend follows this pattern. They’re DC books set in the future. Sure, Aquaman mentions the multiverse. However, the Batman Superman and The Next Batman stories are just Batman and Superman stories set in a near future dystopia.

Don’t get me wrong. That’s all fine. It’s just not “event” stuff. As I said, it looks, smells, and feels very much like an aborted attempt at another reboot. I give them some credit for trying to switch it up and give the reboot some flavor. However, I have no respect for backing off and then trying to resell it as an “event”.

This is no event. Civil War was an event. Planet Hulk was an event. Secret Empire was an event. This is a well (at least to suckers like me) marketed shift of focus. Again, nothing wrong with that. They invested quite a bit into this and want to see some return. I just don’t understand why they’re being so coy about it. Perhaps their margins are thinner than Chris and I have feared all these years. If so, do what you need to do to keep making comics, guys. I’m 100% behind you.

The Verdict

I will read the rest of the books in DC Future State February 2021. I’m on break next week, so I’ll need things to keep me occupied. Perhaps I will also write an addendum article with some of my free time. I mean, there are some great writers and artists on the project. Almost every one of my favorites is involved other than Tom King and James Tynion. I suppose some had to stay back to hold down the fort when we return to the present. At the risk of sounding like one of those comic nerds, that return can’t happen soon enough. In the meantime, there’s always WandaVision.

Note: Header image from here.

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Marvel Comics February 2021: Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Well, football is finally over. We recovered from the emotional trauma of watching Tom Brady win another Super Bowl. Hell, that one event devastated me so much that I even forgot that Alabama won another national championship. January indeed represented a dark time in our page’s history. But, we can safely put all of that behind us. Welcome, fans of 2 Guys Gaming, to Marvel Comics February 2021.

No lame joke. I just realized how weirdly February is spelled.

My high on Marvel Comics dulled a bit last month. I still put all books in the Great and Good categories. However, all three good books took a turn for the worse last month. I know that every month can’t be a winner. However, add in the fact that Spawn dragged on for about 20 pages too long and it looks like we are in the winter doldrums for comic books.

I should have seen it coming. My pull list went from almost 100 dollars at times in the middle of last year to just over 50 dollars the last few month. I think there are only 7 titles in my Marvel list for February. Plus, Marvel scheduled Immortal Hulk to end in less than a year. Sure, DC made up for it by blitzing us with Future State, but I’m going in to this Marvel Comics February 2021 review less than enthused.

Thank goodness WandaVision and Falcon and Winter Soldier are here to save us from mediocrity.

The Great

Amazing Spiderman #55-58 (Nick Spencer, Mark Bagley, et al): I feared a bit of a let down with the end of Last Remains. I needn’t have worried. Spencer came through again. Good ending and now Petey has to deal with the fallout, which promises to be potentially deadly.

Immortal Hulk #42 (Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, et al): I didn’t care for the Jackie sequence. The Gamma Flight sequence was compelling, but ultimately unnecessary. This issue nearly bumped Hulk to “Good” for the month. However, the Leader “in The Below” and Utrecht starting to pull out the stops at the end sets up for a potential fun next few issues.

Thor #11 (Donny Cates and Nic Klein): Man, I love this Donald Blake story. Throw a little Jane Foster and some murderous tension for good measure. Also, we get to see what Thor’s been up to. The final reveal nearly made me put this in “Good”, but I will give Mr. Cates the benefit of the doubt because this story has been so great.

Venom #32 (Donny Cates and Iban Coello): Eddie’s dead? Flash is back in symbiote form? So many questions that perhaps will be answered when I finally pick up the King in Black main story. Perhaps not. But, unlike the previous issues, this one makes me want to check it out.

The Good

Fantastic Four #28 (Dan Slott and RB Silva): The story was interesting. I enjoyed seeing what the Griever had in store for some of our intrepid heroes. The main problem is that the issue wrapped up a bit too quickly.

X-Men #16 and 17 (Johnathon Hickman, Phil Noto, and Brett Booth): I feel like I’m missing something with this latest iteration of X-Men. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the story. I just honestly have no idea what is even happening half the time. Someone give me some issues I need to read to catch up.

The Decent

Avengers #40 and 41 (Jason Aaron and Javi Garron): Boy, this story went off the rails quickly. I remember writing during the introduction to this story that I looked forward to the eventual payoff. Now that it’s here, I feel 100% meh about the whole experience. What could have been great has just become another beat ’em up with the Phoenix Force as the prize.

The Verdict

Marvel Comics February 2021, like Spawn before them, took a bit of a step back this month. It appears as if much of their focus is going into King in Black right now and the quality of their other books is suffering as a result. Mind you, they’re not bad. They just don’t “do it for me” (I’m pretty sure that’s a movie or television quote, but I can’t find it right now)

No, he doesn't do it for me.
Of course, Spaceballs.

in the same way that the books of the past few months have. Maybe I’m just out of the Christmas spirit finally.

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Super Bowl LV Post Mortem: A Love(?) Story

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Introduction

No other title in the history of this web page matches as well as Super Bowl LV Post Mortem. Hell, I needed almost a week to mourn the loss. Thank you for your patience during this radio silence. I promise next week will be back to normal. I plan on finally finishing the comics from this month and either playing D&D with the family or doing the new MTG set review.

RIP in pepperonis my excitement about the National Football League.

Well, Tom Brady won….again. He looked flawless…again. In all honesty, I fully expected the Bucs to win. As I texted Chris when I heard the news, “Paranoia is setting in. The entire Chefs offensive line is backups.” He replied with a story from WEEI that said half of the team might have COVID after getting hair cuts. That turned out to be untrue. Nevertheless, Tom Brady and his deal with the devil endures.

And, still, this outcome dilutes my anticipation of next season. Sure, you could make the argument that I should be anticipating the revenge and redemption story of Patrick Mahomes. Sorry, I’m just not that kind of fan. I watch football at this stage in my life because I find it fun and I find no joy in Tom Brady curb stomping Mudville out of existence. In the interest of getting back into the habit of posting, let’s do this Super Bowl LV Post Mortem.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Instead of wallowing in the swamp that is my indifference towards what others call greatness (Look, I admit, he’s great. It’s also boring.), I will focus on the positive. An impossible task? As a great man once said, “You underestimate my power.”

Granted, that didn’t work out so well for him. Perhaps I should choose my allegiances more carefully.

If we go back to my preview article about the Bucs, I listed two people that I’d be happy for if they won. Granted, I did write that article on a high that Kansas City was going to thoroughly eviscerate Tampa Bay. Now that I have to face the reality, do I still feel the same?

Sure, I picked Gronkenstein mostly as a lark. But, I admit that I actually feel good for the old lunk. I can’t explain my sudden change of heart that doesn’t extend to The Golden Boy. Oh well, best to not analyze it. Just wallow in my hatred. Avoidance is a healthy way to deal with our problems. Speaking of avoidance…

I’m extremely happy for Bruce Arians. Again, I say, the Steelers made the wrong decision in picking Ben over him. This extremely limited data point proves me right on that point. Congratulations to Mr. Arians. He deserves this and if any coach could get me to feel even slightly good about a Mahomes loss.

Kansas City Chiefs

And, so, we congratulate the Buccaneers on winning the Super Bowl. It’s just too bad that they had to win because the other team forfeited the game. Avoidance and denial. Two healthy coping mechanisms for sure. Though, to be honest, a forfeit comes close to the truth. I will say one thing about the Chiefs. Bill Maher made the point by saying, “Somehow this team is still called the Chiefs. Washington doesn’t even have a name. They’re literally just ‘Team’, but these guys get to keep Chiefs for some reason.” I guess love for Patrick Mahomes blinds me to the blatant racism of this team name.

The Verdict

Growing up, the Super Bowl always sucked. Most of the time, the NFC won in convincing fashion. Tom Brady changed all of that. Nearly every game he played in was exciting and decided by a field goal or less. For a while, I enjoyed that change of pace. Little did I know that I’d be enjoying that change of pace for over 2 decades. Time for some new blood. Hopefully this is a one time thing and I can find a reason to look forward to next season.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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We Love WandaVision Episode 5

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Introduction

Why start with WandaVision Episode 5? Are you one of the people who questioned the initial premise? No, but I can name several people who did. People I respected as intellectual and even one who works in the industry. Wait, what? Do you have connections to people in entertainment? Well, technically, yes. A former student is living and working in California and a friend from a message board is a stand up comedian and bit actor in some TV shows and movies.

In spite of the success of the previous Presidential administration, I still believe this.

Instead, I speak of Wil Wheaton, who posted on his Facebook page that he felt the first two episodes wasted the potential of the characters and the time of the audience watching. He nearly gave up on the show because of it. Also, a friend said that he lacked confidence in the show’s creators to make it more than an homage to classic television sitcoms.

In all honesty (there’s that word again), I simply didn’t even consider doing a review of the show until this morning when I went back to bed after discovering we had a 2 hour delay remote day. As I fell asleep, I thought about the article that I planned to write, a review of Kaldheim cards because the set released this weekend. For whatever reason, the idea popped into my head to write a review of WandaVision Episode 5.

How Did We Get Here? (Spoilers Abound!)

Episode 1: Wanda Maximoff, one of the most powerful magic users in the Marvel Universe, and Vision, probably the most powerful Artificial Intelligence in that same universe, live in a 1950s sitcom loosely based on Bewitched. Haha, get it? WandaVision! Perhaps, a bit too on the nose. What’s this at the end, though? Someone is watching this television show. Are they controlling the show?

Episode 2: Now, on to the 1960s and a wacky plot point about the gumming up (literally) of Vision’s innards and a magic show potentially gone wrong. The twist (well, there are several) revolves around Wanda’s sudden pregnancy. With it, comes another oddity. A beekeeper exits from a manhole. Wanda says simply, “No”, before turning back time. Fade to color as the 1970s enter.

Episode 3: Wanda’s pregnancy is progressing…and quickly. The doctor’s car conveniently breaks down so that he and his wife can’t go on vacation. Pregnancy is causing Wanda’s powers to go wonky. Babies arriving! Vision goes supersonic to get the doctor. He still isn’t fast enough. When a stork arrives to indicate that the babies are imminent, a neighbor shows up to deliver the babies and drop the bomb on Wanda about her brother. Wanda ejects the neighbor, Vision meets the babies, and agents surround the ejected neighbor. After this episode, a small brained individual on the internet made fun of me for pointing out that it looked like things were about to get real. Haha, he mocked, that stork sure was something.

Episode 4: We see who has been watching. We also learn the identity of the beekeeper. The neighbor who delivered Wanda’s twins is revealed to be working with them both. What could easily have been a filler episode ends up tying up several loose ends. It also opens new cans of worms. Told you, GTFO of here, rando on the internet. It’s about to get real.

WandaVision Episode 5

After episode 3 or 4, Christine asked to watch Inifinity War again. That led to us watching Endgame and then Captain Marvel. We showed her the chronological list of the movies. So, our Super Bowl marathon this year ended up being Captain America and Iron Man. Only two movies because they are so damn long. We rounded out the marathon with WandaVision Episode 5.

Aside from that, the point is that I explained the main plot points to the movies and the television show. I got the idea and expressed to a couple of friends, that I should do a Cliff’s notes for the MCU. I said that I’m sure it already exists, but the show is bringing in new viewers and maybe this can be the thing that finally gets me some notoriety. Apologies for that bit of indulgence.

What about this episode stuck with me for two days and led to this article? Well, we are now in the 1980s and stuck in a show resembling Family Ties. The twins age up twice in this episode and threaten to do so again at the end when their new dog ends up dying (rough, I know). Vision gets a glimpse of the world beyond Wanda’s control. Wanda interacts with the agents outside of her sitcom. The final reveal is the biggest mind eff so far when Pietro shows back up. But, that’s not all. It’s the Fox Studios actor playing Pietro.

As I posted on my Facebook, “Holy ess….”

The Verdict

Hot damn. I loved this show from the beginning. Like I said, I always knew there was something underneath the sitcom setting and honestly couldn’t believe that people thought, “That’s all there is?” Well, the first payoff was huge and with only 3 episodes left, I can’t wait to see what they do to bring it all together. Granted, that will only lead to more set up for the movies this year and next. Honestly, though, I’ve been looking for a reason to get excited about the the next phase of the MCU. Wanda, showing her power once again, has done just that.

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We Love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City

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Introduction

After yesterday’s awkward attempt to find good things about Tom Brady winning another Super Bowl, I present our preview of Super Bowl LV: Kansas City. Unlike a few years ago, I have an actual rooting interest in this game. To be perfectly honest, it might be quicker to list the reasons I don’t want Kansas City to win this game.

Because there are this many…

So, in the interest of finishing this article before the game starts, I will keep it under five. Just off the top of my head, I have three, so once I get writing, to stay consistent with yesterday’s article, I will stick to those three. Let’s explore, then, my top three reasons we love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City.

Travis Kelce

I never concerned myself much with Kelce. Occasionally, I picked him for my daily fantasy lineup. Usually, I won money in those instances. I guess that says something about the dehumanizing nature of professional sports. Maybe I just don’t have the time to keep track of my family, students, and also over 1600 NFL players. Hell, I barely even know all of the players on the Steelers and they’re supposedly my favorite team.

Editor’s Note: I stopped writing about here. Then, I went for a snow shoe with my wife. After, I cooked lunch and dinner while watching our Super (Heroes, not Bowl) marathon. And, so, it is that I’m finishing this article after the fact. I have to admit. It’s a bit depressing all things considered.

Andy Reid

I gave Andy Reid a ton of crap in the past. And, with good reason. The guy never met a clock management situation that he didn’t screw up. Then, something happened. That something isn’t just Patrick Mahomes. Granted, getting Patrick Mahomes helped greatly.

But, Reid just sort of started going for it. He ignored the tendencies that were holding him back and blew the lid off of the NFL. The league is a copycat league and so many coaches are now going for it on fourth down. Sure, you might argue this stems from Belichick and in some ways, I agree with that assessment. But, it’s taken a giant teddy bear like Andy Reid and his genius offensive coordinator, Eric Bieniemy, to make the moves more mainstream. There’s only one person I will feel more happy for than Andy Reid if the Chiefs win this game.

Patrick Mahomes

He already captured the league’s imagination and adoration. He won both a regular season and a Super Bowl MVP. And, he’s only 25 years old. A second consecutive championship cements him as one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

Did I mention that he’s only 25 years old? I may hold back my love and enjoyment of watching Josh Allen or Tua play. That has never been the case with Patrick Mahomes. He just makes football fun again for me. That’s been sorely missing for the last 15 years or so. The Chiefs truly can represent a seismic shift in the way football is played. Their 25 year old starting quarterback is at the helm of all that.

The Verdict

Apologies that I didn’t get this Super Bowl LV: Kansas City preview out before the game. I wanted so badly to finish it and meet that deadline. Instead, I have to waltz in with my tail between my legs confident in the fact that I was completely wrong about this game. Well, not completely wrong. I did text Chris a few days ago that my paranoia ran rampant at the news that Kansas City’s entire offensive line was backups. Like I just texted him, “Football is so unforgiving because it is only one game.” Oh well, Mahomes is 25 and hopefully this loss gives him some inspiration to come out and kick butt next year.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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We Love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay

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Introduction

What do we love about Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay? Not really anything. No offense to them. What do we hate about Tampa Bay? As that represents the original title of the article, surely I can give you several reasons why. Well, about that. I simply named the article that originally to be in contrast with the “We love” article tomorrow about the Chiefs. However, my headline analyzer, even though it talks about strong emotion words, clearly values positive emotion over negative.

Sorry, Buddy.

What makes me indifferent about Tampa Bay? That’s a far less interesting proposition. However, to be true to myself, I must explore that. I mean, I did spend two or three paragraphs trying to convince my readers that I don’t hate Tom Brady. You may argue that I wasn’t persuasive in my argument and I might agree with that. However, I promise you. I don’t hate Tom Brady nearly as much as I did when he played for the Patriots. Something about that unholy union of player and team rubbed me the wrong way.

And, so, I will take inspiration from the fact that my headline analyzer pushed me to focus on the positive. If I search my feelings, can I find legitimate reasons to be happy if the Bucs win this Super Bowl? Join me then for We Love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay.

Bruce Arians

Bruce Arians coached the Steelers offense once upon a time. I texted Chris, “Arians is the last time the Steelers had a viable offense that I trusted.” He and Ben never saw eye to eye, which means that Ben, for some reason, didn’t like Arians or his offense. For some reason, the Steelers hitched their wagon to Ben and so Arians went packing.

All he did was reinvigorate the Arizona Cardinals and then landed in Tampa Bay and dumbed into coaching Tom Brady. Ben and the Steelers started off a suspect 11-0 before falling completely apart and lost two straight games to the Cleveland Browns. I think we can all agree the Steelers made the wrong decision between the two.

Plus, the man can dress.

Gronkenstein

Being the only member of the Patriots that received a cute nickname from me, Gronk holds a special place in my heart. By all rights, I should hate him as much as I hated most of the other players on the team, if not more. For reasons I can’t explain, I actually love the lunk.

I texted Chris that he would return next year. Chris wondered why. I responded, “What else will he do? Sell his name to shady CBD companies?” “Good point,” Chris replied. The guy has the personality to be an announcer. However, I don’t see anyone actually hiring him. Maybe he could fill the Moose Johnson role for some network.

Anything Else?

Honestly, nope. I should be excited to witness the history of Tom Brady winning 7 out of 10 Super Bowls. I mentioned in a previous article that “been there, done that” prevents me from experiencing that particular sense of joy.

Leonard Fournette can take a hike. He dissed my man Blake Bortles when he said earlier in the season that it would feel good to finally play with a decent quarterback. Likewise, Antonio Brown’s and Ndamukong Suh’s histories both preclude me from feeling anything but contempt.

The Verdict

We most certainly do not love Super Bowl LV: Tampa Bay. Sure, I’ll be happy for Gronk and Arians. I’m not sure that those feelings of joy will outweigh the great sadness I feel for Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. As you know, I don’t even watch the Super Bowl anymore. Because I am the only football fan, bout a decade or so ago, we came up with the idea to watch a movie marathon instead of the game. This year, we decided to watch Super Hero movies, so I may not even tune into the Gamecast. In any case, join me tomorrow for my Chiefs preview.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Love Letter to Spawn 314

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Introduction

Well, as expected, Spawn 314 represents another step in the recent history of the roller coaster of quality. Up for a few months, down for a few months, back up for a few months. The last few issues looked to be building to something. You can draw your own conclusions before I reveal my thoughts.

Trust me.

See, I told you. Right back. Spawn 314 is boring. It is the first issue of Spawn that I haven’t read cover to cover. I skimmed through the fight with Hulk Spawn (more on that later) or whatever. I completely ignored the soliloquy from Omega Spawn that covered way too many pages. I saw hate a few weeks ago for a page that Donny Cates wrote for Venom because it was just 9 panels of Eddie’s face. I’ll take that over whatever this issue was any day.

You might argue against the title of the article Never mind that “Love Letter to Spawn ***” grew out of my attempt to turn my “Headline Analyzer” green. And, it worked. Nevertheless, I still love Spawn. I will always love Spawn in the same way that I love Mario and Sonic. The book introduced me to more “adult” themed comics and started my life long (and consistent again) collection of them. Why, then, don’t I love Spawn 314?

The Great

The Art: I think I mentioned in the last article that the art isn’t on Capullo level. Then again, recent Capullo art isn’t exactly at his level. I don’t even like this art as much as I liked Ken Lashley’s short recent tenure. However, the covers are amazing as always. The interior art looks great, too, and I focused on that as I ignored the text for the most part.

The Good

The Story: Up to this issue, the story got better and better with each issue. I went from not caring about She Spawn, Cy-Gor, or Overtkill to actively enjoying their contributions to the story. The story, as I just said, also improved over that same time period. Then, wit this one issue, it fell so far. Hopefully, in the end, it doesn’t even matter. Yes, I understand it’s a poor interpretation of the lyrics. And, I apologize, Linkin Park fans.

The Decent

Omega Spawn: In the last section, I said that I couldn’t have cared less about the supporting characters at the beginning of this most recent arc. I recently just said the same about Omega Spawn and the Hulk Spawn or whatever it’s called. The fight meant nothing to me. The subsequent explanation felt empty. Who knows? Maybe Uncle Todd is smarter than I am again and he has a way to make me care about this story, too.

The Verdict

Spawn 314 bored me. I hope this represents simply a filler issue and that the next issues serve the same purpose as more recent issues. They need to flesh out the Omega Spawn and give me a reason to care about his existence. I mean, I’m not one to tell someone how to do their jobs. However, if Uncle Todd wants me to sing his praises next month, he needs to round this story out better.