If you followed the page for any length of time, you know that I loved Rainbow Rowell’s run on She-Hulk. Actually, loved might even be an understatement. I adored it. I looked forward to every new issue and couldn’t wait to read them. More than once, I think I called it the perfect marriage of creator and character. And, now, with Sensational She-Hulk 10, that run comes to an end. So, let’s pour one out for She-Hulk.
What Makes the Book So Great?
It came at a time when Marvel peaked as far as putting together comic book writers who understood the characters inside and out. Avengers, Fantastic Four, Guardians of the Galaxy, and She-Hulk all brought the old school flavor of their characters with modern touches that enhanced the books in a way that I haven’t witnessed since the Civil War era of Marvel. Heck, not even Nick Spencer’s run on Spider-Man came close to what they assembled (pun intended) with these four books. Two of them now, ingloriously ended. However, we get Lanzing and Kelly on Nyx. And, McKay writes for both Avengers and X-Men now, so I look forward to an epic crossover there.
But, honestly, Rainbow Rowell on She-Hulk may never be topped. She brought a light and buoyant energy to a title that too often strayed into self pity before she came along. I laughed at her attempts to retain some level of normalcy as a giant green behemoth. I cried when her relationship always seemed to go sideways. In this issue, I cheered because everything finally came full circle and set the character up for the future.
Only 12 issues short of 200. That’s the other tragedy here. Whoever takes over, when they do, they’ll get a chance to celebrate that milestone. Hopefully, Marvel invites Rainbow Rowell back to write a story for the big two-oh-oh. Thankfully, in the meantime, we can still read her in DC Comics. But, I miss the hell out of a new She-Hulk book to look forward to every month. It just won’t be the same not being able to read about the super heroine who tries to have it all.
Bittersweet Farewell
I’m terrible at saying “Good bye”. If this article didn’t prove that to you, I wanted to reiterate it there. Granted, I have all of the issues of the run to look back on. But, as I said, it just won’t be the same as experiencing it all for the first time. And, so, we pour one out for She-Hulk. Marvel-616 won’t be the same without you.
With my new commitment to making the page more reader friendly, I spread my comics reviews out over the month instead of trying to finish them all in one week. Even so, with all of the new X-Men titles, I need to read and review over a dozen Marvel books. So, I split them up this week into two categories. Lucky for me, one of those categories included Marvel Legacy Issues September 2024.
The Amazing Spider-Man 950 and The Immortal Thor 14 (Legacy 775. Okay, I guess we’re celebrating quarters now. Fine.) both arrived in my DCBS order this month. And, still, even if I review those both in this article and give Sensational She-Hulk the send off she deserves, that’s still twelve books to read and review. I should look at that as a good problem to have. So, I will.
The Amazing Spider-Man 950
Writer: Zeb Wells (Oi), Artist: JRJR.
Quick Synopsis: We open on a flashback where Kingpin and Tombstone are on a safari. Kingpin points out a lion who took over a pack and killed a baby because resources are scarce. Power and something something, you get the point. In the present, Spidey breaks up an arms deal and attempts to keep the illusion alive that he’s working with Tombstone. Something something, tenuous grip on power. Tombstone pulls up while Robby and Peter are talking and “invites” Peter into the limo. Something something and they’re now fighting. The fight gets interrupted by She-Hulk and Luke Cage (Peter’s lawyer and the mayor?) and they take Tombstone into custody. The issue ends with the opening of Tombstone’s trial. There are also two short stories that I only skimmed. One shows how Peter retained She-Hulk’s services. The other mentions Wayep, so yeah.
My Verdict: While not a great issues, this one is decent. It’s not as bad as the worst of Wells. So, I give him credit for a mostly fun story in this landmark issue. I still refuse to read any more of what’s he’s done. Chris told me that it’s been up and down, but I guess I only saw the down. Also, Spidey is my favorite super hero of all time, so you don’t do him dirty and expect me to forgive you any time soon. JRJR’s art has absolutely evolved in a good way over time. While still distinct and blocky and not quit on the level of dear old dad, I don’t mind it as much on this book right now. Decent and that’s saying something from me, a know drinker of “Zeb Wells Amazing Spider-Man” haterade.
The Immortal Thor 14 (Legacy 775)
Writer: Al Ewing, Artist: Jan Bazaldua
Quick Synopsis: This, too, opens with some background. Rhea seeks the wisdom of Gaea to help keep her child alive. Because of Gaea’s actions, the child is doomed to be devoured by Chronos. Chronos arrives, takes the child, but spares him. That child grows up to be Zeus, who fulfills the prophecy of Gaea. In the present, Thor and Hercules wander through the dark realm that they were banished to. The book is billed as Thor the All-Father vs. Zeus the Skyfather and it doesn’t disappoint. A fun story and battle steeped in Norse mythology. It ends with Thor defeating Zeus and taking his power. Hercules isn’t so sure he likes the new Thunder God, but Thor tells him not to worry.
My verdict: I admit to not getting the first couple of issues of this book when Al Ewing took over. The whole Roxxon thing turned me off a bit. I know that it has deep roots in Marvel Comics history. However, it just didn’t work for me. I knew that Ewing would figure it out. He always does. But, after his masterful run on The Incredible Hulk and great stories on Venom, I just found the whole thing weird. I’m not familiar with the artist on this one, but they bring the head (well, lightning) in the fight without going overboard. I mean, they could be forgiven as it is two gods fighting for supremacy, but they show restraint. And, the more introspective scenes are painted with a deft hand to bring some balance to the story. Great. I love the mythology piece and the fight really was awesome.
The Verdict
We knew going in that Marvel Comics Legacy Issues September 2024 might be a bit of a mixed bag. I hoped for a decent Spider-Man story and got that. I didn’t know what to expect from Thor both because it’s such a weird milestone to celebrate but also because the Roxxon story still lingers in the back of my mind. But, I loved this issue.
I wrote last week that I decided to break up my comic reviews over the month instead of trying to get them all done in one week. I reviewed DC and TMNT #1 the first week. Then, last week, I talked about the “main” titles in the Spawniverse. This week, in addition to Marvel comics, I want to talk about what I’m calling the Extended Spawniverse September 2024.
From the looks of it, Uncle Todd hired so much talent that he needed to come up with new titles to put them all on. Especially since he took over the reigns again on the main titles, they all picked up (or pitched because I’m not sure how the titles came into being) books that bear the “New *Spawn head* U” sticker on them. I, for one, welcome anything done by everyone that Uncle Todd brings on to work on his books.
Monolith 1 (of 3)
Writer: Sean Lewis, Artist: Velerio Giangiordano.
Quick Synopsis: The year is 3030. The universe is dying. Spawns answer the call to save it and fail. This pits the rest of the universe against the Spawns. Monolith gets diverted while coming back to Earth and ends up in a prison colony. Omega Spawn, fittingly known as the destroyer of worlds, rules the prison. He bides his time waiting for Monolith. When the “final Spawn” shows, Omega tries to recruit him to his cause. Gaia interferes in the showdown, telling Monolith that he can be more. Even though I said that all of the talent here worked on other Uncle Todd projects, I don’t recognize the name of this artist. But, the art fits the character and the story. I look forward to more from this artist. My verdict: Good.
Rat City
Writer: Erica Schultz, Artist: Ze Carlos.
Quick Synopsis: I only read the first issues of these books for this review. Before next month, I plan to get caught up. That way, I can follow them as they grow. While Monolith (and another one called Misery that I just learned about) are limited series, the other two look like they have issues planned through the end of the year at least. Okay, now for the synopsis. It’s 80 years in the future during World War 3 and an elite fighting force introduces us to a few characters, including the main character. Through the story, he loses his legs and they are replaced with cybernetic ones. At the end of the issue, he can’t remove them and this has something to do with good old Al Simmons. Ze Ramos brings a cool futuristic touch to this one that Monolith missed in spite of taking place in 3030. But, that makes sense since that one takes place near the end of the universe. My verdict: Decent.
Sam and Twitch Case Files
Writer: Uncle Todd with Jon Goff, Artist: Szymon Kudranski.
Quick Synopsis: They introduced Sam and Twitch as supporting characters during the early days of the main title. They became popular and released a book starring the two. Like many Image books at the time, it suffered from delays and saw an inglorious end after only 26 issues. When they announced the new U, you knew they had to include these guys in the mix. Sure enough, here they come. Sam roughs up a goon while on a case. This gets him suspended. Twitch sets out to “make it right” and finds himself on suspension, too. But, another detective calls them in to get a set of “fresh eyes” on a case that looks to be very messy. Kudranksi’s art works perfect for this title. He brings a realness and a creepiness that will serve the story well. My verdict: Good.
The Verdict
While not explicitly from this month, the books that I read for the Extended Spawniverse September 2024 all introduce the titles well. Of the three, I think that Sam and Twitch will end up being my favorite. However, Misery looks to follow the same creepy horror vibe of one of my favorite Spawn stories. So, even though that one is only 4 issues, I think I’ll enjoy the heck out of that one.
I learned recently that they added some new titles to Uncle Todd’s Spawn Universe (Rat City and they brought back Sam and Twitch). I intend to cover those books later in the week or, more likely, over the weekend. For this article, I want to cover the main books as I see them in Spawniverse September 2024.
You may notice that it is the third week of the month and I only posted the DC Comics review. The reason for that is two fold. One, I started back to school (as evidenced by the new theme) and that took up far too much of my time. Two, I actually think I like the idea better of dedicating one week to each of the three publishers. It gives me more time to digest the issues and offer a better reading experience. I hope. Let me know.
Gunslinger 34
Writer: Uncle Todd, Artist: Carlo Barberi.
Quick Synopsis: This issue deals with the initial aftermath of the shitstorm between Javi and the police that built from the previous few issues since the “reset”. Gunslinger, himself, badly injured in the fracas, falls into a medicated induced sleep. The doctors say that his mind surely fractured due to the physical and mental stress. This manifests in a dream that relives part of his past. I feel like in different hands, this might have been handled with more subtlety. But, honestly, we don’t come to Spawn for that, so I’m okay with the outcome. Barberi’s art, as usual, compliments the story and brings the characters to life in a way that few others can. My verdict: Good
King Spawn 37
Writer: Uncle Todd, Artist: Yildiray Cinar
Quick Synopsis: Speaking of a lack of subtlety, King Spawn brings together Al Simmons and Cy-Gor for all out war against Tyrone and his thugs. The two make quick and bloody work of all of them, barely breaking a sweat before making a get away with a hostage that they intend to use as a bargaining chip to get closer to his real target. I’m not familiar with this particular artist, but I like his work in this book. My verdict: Great.
Spawn 355
Writer: Rory McConville with Uncle Todd on additional script. Artist: Brett Booth.
Quick Synopsis: Downing comes to Spawn and others under the guise of taking them back to hell. Instead, he takes them to one of Spawn’s safe houses where they find a badly injured Reaper. After dealing with that, Downing explains that he pulled the old rope a dope because Nyx isn’t responding to communications and he thought that Spawn and the others might know why. The issue closes with Al making a deal with Lyra for a tentative partnership and Wynn checking in with Fixer and giving him a couple of partners in crime. Booth, like Barberi, brings the world of Spawn to life with his art. We truly are spoiled by living in a time when so much talent works on these books. My verdict: Great.
The Scorched 32
Writer: Layman with Uncle Todd on additional script, Artist: Steven Segovia.
Quick Synopsis: The Scorched team up to combat their former teammate, She Spawn. And they bring Overt-Kill with them. Even with that extra fire power, though, Haunt ends up going of the deep end and injuring her quite severely. The issue ends with them speaking over her in a hospital bed. Wynn makes the comment that they have nothing to worry about when it comes to control over her. Wait, what’s that I see? A wry smile from Jessica? Can’t wait to see what they have in store for us. Segovia’s art brings a more cartoonish quality to the series. I like it in spite of that fact, but wish it had more of the realism of Booth or Barberi. My verdict: Great.
The Verdict (Spawniverse September 2024)
The main titles in the Spawniverse September 2024 continue the strong upward trend of the recent issues ever since they rebooted and shook up the creative teams. All four of the books are telling great stories in their own right. They also try to tell a cohesive story together, but as with many of these types of cross book stories, some things get lost in the shuffle. As long as you can deal with those inconsistencies, you’ll have fun reading these books.
As I wrote somewhere else, I always forget how hard the beginning of school hits. As a result, some comic reviews got pushed into this week. It works out for the weekly theme, though. The new Marvel vs. Capcom Fighting Collection game releases on Thursday. So, I don’t feel bad pushing TMNT #1, the Spawniverse, and Marvel Comics to this week. It also gave me a chance to rethink some aspects of the page to make them more reader friendly. I hope. I want you all to be the judges.
As far as the comic goes, so begins the Jason Aaron era of the turtles. He actually wrote a introduction story in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Alpha that I read and thought I wrote about on the page. But, I can’t find it, so maybe I just wrote the article in my sleep and never actually sat down to write it when awake. In any case, this gives me a chance to try a new format.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 Synopsis
Writer: Jason Aaron, Artist: Joelle Jones
The Synopsis: The story in TMNT #1 follows Raphael in San Quentin State Prison. Nobody else knows why he’s there. He relishes the anonymity and uses it to his advantage to stay out of harm’s way as much as possible. However, on the first night after we join him there, he realizes that some prisoners dug and escape tunnel. He follows them into the tunnel and leaves them all unconscious. The warden joins Raphael the next day and gives us some clues as to why he’s there.
They want him to root out the corruption in the prison from the inside. Ah, if only it were that easy. The foot clan breaks into the prison (by posing as new inmates) and foils those plans by killing a guard and the warden. Raph uses the tunnel to escape and search for the other turtles. Meanwhile, one of the candidates for attorney general gets thrown off a bridge by some crooked cops. This leaves Hale as the only candidate and presumptive attorney general.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 Review
The Story: When I told Chris the news about Jason Aaron taking over Turtles, he wondered if the tone would be right. Granted, Aaron gives us a different take on the heroes in the half shell than what I became used to over the last year or so. However, I like the shift in tone. I think that the brothers are versatile enough that they can handle the new darker tone that this version brings.
I also know that this won’t be the entire book, either. Even in the sillier versions of TMNT, Raph is always the most intense one. Next we get Michaelangelo who, while cerebral, also tends to bring a lighter attitude than Raph. It remains to be seen if Aaron writes him that way, but I have faith in Eastman and his love for the characters.
The Art: Long time readers know that I’m a huge Joelle Jones fan boy. She brought Catwoman back in a big way. Then others struggled to reach those heights again until recently with Tini Howard’s Nine Lives story. Given the opportunity to just do the art in this book, she brings it in a big way. The slow reveal of Raph at the beginning of the book. Perfect. Two fight scenes with little in the way of dialogue? She gives us multiple panels of motion that practically fly off of the page. (See below for an example). I enjoyed Fero Pe’s art in the previous iteration of the book. Also, I know that she isn’t doing the next two issues. But, I’m glad we got at least this from her for now.
The Verdict
TMNT #1 wastes no time in redefining this era of the heroes in a half shell. Jason Aaron brings an edge to the book that was smart to show off with Raphael first. I loved The Turtles from when I picked them up during the Armageddon Game. And, I think that this story, even if very different, will continue to bring me joy over the next few months and, hopefully, years.
I wrote in my last article that the return to form on the web page means comics in this first week. I wrote about our latest adventures in Dice Masters on Monday. Yesterday, I covered the new season of Marvel SNAP. Now, I move on to the actual comics and reviews. This month I adjusted the order. When I went to Newbury Comics and then That’s E, I picked up more titles for the Spawniverse. I also bought into all of the new X-Men books. Therefore, my DC Comics September 2024 lineup is the smallest. Therefore, they go first.
Decent
Writer: Chip Zdarsky, Artist: Mike Hawthorne
Writer: Simon Spurrier, Artist: Ramon Perez
Writer: Joshua Williamson, Artist: Jamal Campbell
Writer: Tom King, Artist: Tony S. Daniel
All of the stories in these books this month are compelling. However, without the background of the main story, they’re all lacking something. As I often do, I missed the boat on the main Absolute Power series. As a result, I downgraded these books from Good to Decent. Completely my fault. But, I admit it and I will try to be better next time about the event stories that I read. Who knows, I might even revisit them after reading the main story. As far as The Flash, I I started collecting for Aiden and never took it off my pull list. I like it fine, but it’s not one of my favorite books, by any measure.
Good
Writer: Gail Simone, Artist: Eddy Barrows
Gail Simone is one of my favorite comic writers. Superman used to be one of my least favorite heroes. Bendis hooked me on the books when he wrote for Supes a few years ago. Then, they put Williamson on the main title and Simone on this one. In between, Phillip Kennedy Johnson wrote for both books. What I’m trying to say is that I now have a certain respect for old Supes that I never had before. And, Gail Simone writing the book! As they say, two great tastes that taste great together. I’m just not as into this story and that downgrades it slightly to good. When she hits her stride, I’m sure this book will pick up some steam.
Great
Writer: Ram V, Artists: Various. Speaking of hitting your stride, this book got good just as it looks like they are changing writers again. I admit to not completely getting Ram V’s take on the title. I enjoyed the stories, but something just didn’t quite click for me overall. That changed with these two books and I look forward to what comes next from Ram V. I need to go back and read the whole run again to see if it hits different now that everything is coming together.
The Verdict
I keep saying what a great time this is for comics right now. DC Comics September 2024 proves that once again. Even the books that I “missed” because of the tie in still told compelling stories that entertained me. Thanks to all of the creative people out there still dedicated to bringing the fun in comic books. This old guy appreciates it.
I’m getting older. Proof of that is in my admission that my family owned an Atari 2600. I mean, technically, everyone is getting older. But, honestly, you don’t notice it until you pass 45. I said at work one day that 45 hits like a truck if you aren’t careful. Anyway, the point of this all is that I received an order from my doctor to get lipid testing. As a reward to myself, i took a trip to That’s E.
Officially named That’s Entertainment, there are two locations in Western Massachusetts. One, in Worcester, is massive. I’ve said numerous time, to Chris, that I could spend a day there every couple of months just browsing and spending stupid amounts on comics. The one that I visited, in Fitchburg, is smaller, but no less dangerous. Without thinking, I dropped over 150 bucks there yesterday.
Blood Hunt
I resisted “Blood Hunt” initially. Then, I saw the first three issues at Newbury Comics last week, so I picked them up. I felt underwhelmed and correct in my decision to not read the series. Then, yesterday, I caved to the pressure and bought the last two issues. I’m glad I did. When I saw that Blade broke bad with little to no explanation, I rolled my eyes. Then McKay explained it in 4 and brought it all together with the usual huge team up. The difference, this time, is that DOOM helped, as well, setting the stage for his rise later on in the year. Now, that one I’m looking forward to reading.
More From the New Beginning
X Factor gets reborn as a social media military group stocked with a bunch of E and F-list mutants with Angel as their leader. In spite of promises otherwise, they still face the same mutant hatred until their first mission. I’m interested to see where this goes. Forge puts together X-Force to help stop a giant slime monster from destroying the world. In the end, he brings in Deadpool to “help” with the mission. Overall, another solid beginning. I wrote about Gail Simone taking over Uncanny X-Men in the other article. Jed McKay writes the other main title. I’m not sure what I expected, but all we get here is more of the same. Magneto in charge, Scott leading the team, and Wolverine walking out at the end. I guess it pays to go back to basics, but I hope we get more going forward.
Ultimate Marvel
I avoided the Ultimates reboot initially. I remember the old Ultimate universe and how it went completely off the rails eventually. In fact, Marvel deleted several of my posts reminding them of cannibalistic Hulks and incestuous Maximoff twins. When I texted Chris about the new Absolute DC or whatever and called it “Ultimate DC” as a dig for the obvious rip off, he said something about the current line of Ultimate Marvel performing well. So, when faced with these two titles, I bit. In the interest of time and getting the article out today, I only read the first two issues. But, I must say. I enjoyed them. The Ultimate universe adds something new to the mythos of the characters while avoiding (so far) the pitfalls of the originals. If they keep this up, as I just texted Chris, “I’m going to end up broke with all these new books.”
The Verdict (A Trip to That’s E)
I took a trip to That’s E in Fitchburg after my lab tests yesterday. While I picked up some good books that I just told you about, there are others that I’m going to wait until my official comic review article to reveal. It also made me want to go to the big store in Worcester. Maybe once school starts and I need an outlet, I’ll make a trip down there.
We took our annual vacation to Cape Cod last week. As inevitably happens during the week, a tropical storm passed through the area. With rain on the forecast, we decided to drive to Hyannis and spend part of the day at the mall. However, when we woke up, it was only cloudy and a decent beach day. Christine and I decided to head to the beach. It took some time, but we convinced the kids to wait for us, so we all could go to the mall. The main stop everyone wanted was Barnes and Noble. However, Christine needed something at target, so we walked there. Along the way, we too a trip to Newbury Comics.
Comics played a big role in my life. They also eventually became a huge part of the web page. Chris and I tried an early podcast about comics that fizzled. Both of us attempted to record YouTube videos about comics hauls and reviews that might are lost to the great beyond because Google deleted that account due to inactivity. So, when I see a comic book store, I need to enter it. Those of you who know, understand when I said to them, “No, I was too busy searching for comics in the store with comics in the name” when they asked if I saw a certain item on the shelf. Nevertheless, I found some good ones.
What a Great Idea
I’ve been saying for years that comic publishers should print old issues on demand. Look, due to my interactions with Jason, I understand people and their collection brain. But, I would even take a copy of the book with the huge “REPRINT” banner over the top and bottom of the cover. I just want copies of the old books and not have to pay over 200 bucks for a single comic book. Yes, I can get trades, but there’s still that blank in my comic runs. I’m looking at you Spawn. Granted, I never wanted either one of these books, but I want to support the effort.
I texted Chris a picture of the cover of this magazine, with simply “Liefeld!” He responded, “gross lol”. “This is just the epitome of 90s Marvel right here.” And, so, that’s how I came to own Deadpool’s first appearance in comics.
Of the two, I wanted this one for sure. As a teenager, Gambit was my favorite X-Men character. What’s funny is when Aiden asked me a couple weeks ago at Quarters when I told him I didn’t really like Cyclops, I completely forgot about Gambit. Then, he showed up in Deadpool and Wolverine and it all came flooding back. Another old man moment. When I’m looking for something to watch later at night, I keep forgetting about X-Men ’97. Remind me next time!
A New Beginning
As I’ve told you many times, I missed most of the Krakoa era of the X-Men comics. When I heard that they rebooted the series with new writers and artists, I wanted to get in on the ground floor. I promptly forgot and DCBS never reminded me. So, when I saw these two books on the shelf from some of my favorite writers, I grabbed them. Now I need to grab X-Men #1 so that I can see the new direction better.
Blood Hunt (Wait? What?!)
I said numerous times that I cared nothing about Blood Hunt. I even refused to read the tie in issues from my regular shipments. Then, faced with the first three issues, I caved. Hey, I’m a complex person with layers. Like an onion! Also, when I see comics, I buy comics. That’s not complex at all. I just like comics.
The Verdict
I consider my trip to Newbury Comics a success. I got two comics I missed. I caught up on Blood Hunt (so far, I was right to ignore it, not great), and picked up some Liefeld and Gambit. I still hope that other comic publishers (Uncle Todd, please!) reprint some of their classic issues. But, I’ll take what I can get.
I plan to give the post mortem of the actual game. But, you know how we do things around there. Instead of throwing out half baked ideas as soon as the game ends in order to receive early accolades, we throw out half baked ideas after a week so that our bad ideas rise above the cacophony and illustrate just how bad they are. So, first, I present our Betting the Bowl 2023 Post Mortem.
You may remember that I tacked on a betting article at the end of last week as a final preview of the Super Bowl. I got the idea from simultaneous emails that arrived from both Draft Kings and FanDuel telling me about their sportsbook apps opening up in Massachusetts soon. They are eager to take my money. Perhaps they should heed the warnings of this post.
Stupid Prop Bets
The only prop bets I found to discuss in that earlier article were the coin toss (truly a sucker bet) and the Gatorade color. Vegas apparently needed the money this year (see the above picture for commentary) because they dumped purple (purple?! purple?! really?! purple?! I’m just trying to win a damn bet! Shoutout to Jim Mora there.) Gatorade in victory. Maybe next year I will throw some of my windfall (shot up to 10000 fake dollars with my other bets) into more prop bets when the sportsbooks are actually live.
Single Dollar Bets
Even on these stupid bets I made up on the spot to try to ride on the coattails of Simmons, I cleaned up as you will see. Since I only put a dollar overall into the bets, I cleared less than a dollar profit, but you all can do that math. So, let’s do the math.
Most Sure Bet (confidence: high): If you bet the Chefs to win, Mahomes was MVP. I got a bit nervous at the end because Hurts went TF off and I looked at my father in law and said, “If the Chiefs win, can they give Hurts the MVP?” I mean, the guy deserved it. But, the 0.25 parlay paid 0.93 cents and I already made my money back. Cha ching. Lost as a result (0.05 for the Iggs equivalent and crazy 0.10 for Iggs/ Sweat MVP parlay).
Most Sure Bet (confidence level: irrationally high): 0.25 to win 1.75 for Kelce to score first. Chiefs won toss and deferred, so….
Throw Me a Frickin Bone! (confidence level: high): 0.10 to win 0.80 for Hurts to score first. All it took was a questionable call taking it away from Gainwell (16 to 1) and then that ridiculous rugby play to get him there, but 0.80 richer because of it!
Living on the Edge: 0.10 to win 0.08. I called this one wrong because I thought the Chiefs might put this one over in the first half. Turns out the Iggs and their ridiculous rugby play paid this one out in no time. I should watch more football if I’m going to bet on this stupid sport.
Sevens Heaven: Last 0.14 to win 0.13. Tossed this one in to get down to my silly penny parlay. Both teams scored in the first quarter. Easiest money ever.
So, keeping score, I bet 0.99 and made back a profit of 0.94. Pretty damn good if I say so myself.
Perplexing Penny Parlay
I came up with the idea of using my last penny to put together a parlay that, if successful, paid out over 100 dollars. Once I started putting together the bet, it became pretty easy to get it over 100. The actual bet paid out 133.90 (a. if successful and b. if it won)
Before I go on, let me say that I know how parlays work. And I know this one sunk from the get go. But, still, 5 out of 7 hits isn’t a bad percentage and I’d take that any time on single bets. I think next time I might play around with the format and increase it to 1 million dollar payout on a penny. bet. That might be pushing it, but I will get it as high as I can while still making the parlay reasonable.
The Verdict
My betting the bowl 2023 post mortem is mostly a positive. An almost 1:1 payout on basically 5 bets (as some auto failed on the success of others is pretty good. Also, I picked the last two winners and last two MVPs from this year and last year. I said to my father in law several times, my dad always told me not to bet on a game where the ball bounces funny and I intend to keep that line. Still, I had fun and can’t wait to be back next year bigger and better.
(Editor’s Note: We have no idea if we are officially out of spoiler range for the new Star Wars movie. To be perfectly honest, we don’t care all that much about spoilers here. We are of the opinion that if you can’t enjoy entertainment that’s been spoiled, then perhaps it wasn’t all that entertaining. Besides, the movie has been out for more than a month now. If you haven’t seen it by now and care at all about spoilers, then you get what you deserve. With all of that being said, if you continue to read from this point forward, there are major spoilers to the movie.)
Kylo Ren, real name Ben (most likely named by his Uncle Luke Skywalker in honor of Obi Wan Kenobi) Solo (because he is the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa) kills his father in an attempt to complete his transformation to the Dark Side. I warned you. Enjoy the following funny SNL bit as a peace offering. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I can talk about the rest of the movie. Don’t worry, we’ll come back to Han and his angry, angry son later.
I already gave my first impressions of the movie right after we saw it. If you read that article, you know that I enjoyed it very much. Half of it was nostalgia, half of it was watching it through the eyes of my own children, and the most important third half of it was being able to introduce this universe to my father in law. I’ve since had some time to ponder the movie more. You probably think that means that the glow has since faded and that I’m now going to write about how the movie is not as good as I first thought. Well, you’re partially right. As time passes, the glow naturally fades and it might sound like I’m bashing the movie, but I’m not. The internet has just created this environment in which you can’t criticize anything without being a hater. Know, then, that I still enjoy this movie, want to see it again and thank it for saving the franchise from the better taste of the prequels. And, I’m one of the few who kind of enjoyed Episodes I-III. Imagine the people who thought the movies were the cinematic equivalent of being warmed inside of a Tauntaun and how relieved they are that a good Star Wars movie was made before they died.
Or, should I say, remade. How’s that for a segue into my first criticism? As with all of them, it is a minor complaint and one that can be easily explained. Nevertheless, I should discuss the good and the bad. Maybe I should take a bad news/good news approach to the article. Seems like the best way to write it. That way I can avoid the inevitable internet accusation of drinking the haterade. Besides, honestly, no matter how much I complain, I did enjoy the movie very much.
Honestly, though, I’m not even sure who drinks this stuff. It tastes like burning.
Still, always bad news first. From the opening scent of the movie, when the giant star destroyer flew across the screen, I felt that there was something familiar about this movie. It’s not just because they decided to bring everyone back, either. We all knew that was going to happen. Also, I’m not the only one who thought this. I’ve spoken to several friends who had the same reaction. Okay, enough rationalizing, let’s look at the evidence.
The aforementioned star destroyed sets the stage for nostalgia. I thought, “Wow, that’s just like the beginning of Episode IV.”
A cute droid carries information that is vital to the good guys.
A black masked and cloaked villain with an altered voice. This one is explained in the movie through storytelling, but still suspect at first. Kylo Ren idolizes his grandfather and wants to be just like Darth Vader, so there’s your explanation.
An unspectacular protagonist from a desert planet ends up being extremely important to the fate of the galaxy.
There is some mystery regarding this protagonist’s life story.
This progtagonist becomes the protege of a former scoundrel turned wiser old man who clearly knows more than he’s saying.
The past catches up to the old man on several occasions forcing him to reconcile with that past. He still does not reveal the whole truth, however.
There is a power struggle for the second in command of the dark side army.
The good guys have a critical meeting inside of a cantina on a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy. At least this cantina is not on the same planet that the protagonist lives.
This group, known as the New Order, have built a planet sized space vessel capable of destroying planets.
The good guys are a rag tag bunch that happens to have some of the best pilots. They destroy the so called “Starkiller” by finding and exploiting it’s single weakness against impossible odds.
The wise old guru is murdered by someone close to him in front of his friends who are all powerless to help him.
The protagonist and antagonist fight to a stand still as the battle to destroy “Starkiller” rages around them, concluding as the vessel begins to tear itself apart.
The protagonist finds a wise old Jedi master on a remote planet surrounded by water. Okay, so this one is more Episode V, but movies are also slightly longer on average than in the late 1970s/early 1980s.
In case all of that wasn’t obvious enough, my main complaint is that the movie is nearly an exact retelling of Episode IV. Okay, now for the excuse making. I will rebrand it as the good news after the bad news. First, they had to reintroduce the series for several reasons. One, I mentioned that I mostly enjoyed the prequels. Many others, to put it mildly, did not. In less sugar coated terms, most, by a wide margin, fans hated it with the fire of a thousand Starkiller beams. There is so much more for nerds in pop culture these days that fans might have abandoned Star Wars altogether for Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, or any one of the Marvel series on TV or Netflix. What better way to get fans back into it than by going back to where it all started and reboot the story as well as support.
I know, Captain Solo. I’m just as shocked as you that Star Wars nerds would turn their backs on the movies. But, it’s not the 1970s and 1980s anymore and the prophecies have come true. Nerds rule and jocks drool.
Two, those of us who have been there all along are getting old. It is harder to get us to buy the tie in merchandise, other than the video games. If those old farts are anything like me, they brought family and friends to the movie. My kids have already seen the original movies, but my other guest hadn’t. Perhaps by introducing them with a proper introduction, they are more likely to get hooked and revisit those first movies. Even if they don’t, they’re in now. They finally have a Star Wars that they can call their own. See, it’s a legitimate complaint, but one that makes sense if you just think about it.
Back to bad news. I talked about the final battle in the list of similarities Kylo Ren battles against Rey (the lead protagonist mentioned in that same list) after fighting against Finn (who I haven’t even mentioned yet and it’s not because I’m racist, which is exactly what a racist would say. Damn. Moving on.) and mortally wounding or killing him. After having just watched the movie, I discussed it with my cousin. I brought up that I felt it a little strange, and even a little convenient, that someone who had studied as a Jedi and then in the dark side for who knows how long lost to a woman who only hours earlier picked up a light saber for the first time. True, there is some ambiguity surrounding Rey’s history and parentage, but I still made the point to him. He replied, “Well, Kylo was shot in the side.” which is a plot development that I had overlooked in my excitement. That is actually a great explanation, Skywalker spawn or not. There are other inconsistencies like that, but that one bothered me the most.
Okay, Kylo, I guess you get a pass. Being shot in the side might prove to be a bit of a distraction from your epic lightsaber battle.
Even so (good news), the inconsistencies aren’t as glaring as the original trilogy that could have been explained by the prequels, but were actually made worse in many cases. Add in the silly tinkering that he did when rereleasing the original movies and those things are an absolute mess now.
Other than those two minor complaints–that can honestly be made about any movies and especially sequels that have made it to the 7th movie, I enjoyed it and cannot wait for the next one. As soon as we left the theater and sat in the restaurant waiting for our pizza, I searched on the tablet to find the release date for Episode VIII. I was genuinely upset that we would have to wait another year and a half (now moved to two years) for the movie to be released. In our video on demand, binge-watching society, that is an eternity. Hopefully spoilers start showing up soon and I can at least find out if my theories are correct.
Until then, I suppose I still have some Clone Wars to watch. There is also the new series Rebels and I have to show my father in law the first six movies. There is the machete order to try there. Maybe I will see this one again. There is plenty of Star Wars fun to keep me busy until Christmas 2017.
Good news? There’s less than 700 days as I write this.
Bad news? There’s almost 700 days as I write this.
I feel the same feels, Pepe. That’s why you always lead with the bad news. It’s better to end on a good note.
